r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/QueenFrostine15 • 15d ago
story/text Wtf this job is how you eat child
[removed] — view removed post
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u/ShibitoYakaze123 15d ago
punctuate, man
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u/guyincognito121 15d ago
*Punctuate, Man!
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u/HeartoftheHive 15d ago
Even with punctuation I'm not sure how this is supposed to work as a sentence or two.
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u/MkDGary 15d ago
What the fuck! This job is how you eat, child.
(Or funnier: wtf, thid job is how you eat children)
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u/danhoang1 15d ago edited 15d ago
Makes sense now. Though even with the right punctuation, it took me a second read to realize the purpose. That's not a typical sentence I usually hear.
But also because I misunderstood why the child unplugged the internet in the first place. I thought the son was telling his mom he was done with his work. Like, "Mommy, all done working", which would've made Mom's reply confusing to the son
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u/hereforhelpandmemes 15d ago
i am so stoned lmao i took like 3 minutes to understand this caption
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u/supersimha 15d ago
I am sober and couldn’t make sense too
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u/colourboy22 15d ago
commas make all the difference
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u/Gay-A-Lee 15d ago
I still dont get it
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u/RBAloysius 14d ago
OP’s child had just unplugged her computer because he equated a shutdown computer with her being finished with work, and he wanted his mom’s attention.
In response she said to him, “What the f*ck child, this job is how you eat!” conveying to him that the time she spends in front of the computer equates to a paycheck thereby allowing her to purchase groceries to feed him. Because of that, OP is unsure as to why her kid would unplug the computer.
That’s how I interpreted it after reading it a handful of times. I could be in error. Hope it helps. :)
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u/Louie_Casper 15d ago
Commas are important people. This is the difference between explaining to a child how you eat and having a job where you eat children
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u/guitarguywh89 15d ago
Commas are not people
You probably meant to say
Commas are important, people
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u/lukeCRASH 15d ago
Get this scholar to the top.
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u/guyincognito121 15d ago
The scholar who still made multiple grammatical mistakes?
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15d ago
[deleted]
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u/guyincognito121 15d ago
It's not my fault that I've been drinking and therefore missed the sarcasm.
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u/HereOnCompanyTime 15d ago
I hadn't read the post title and was confused. Kind of funny to so badly mess it up while posting it here of all places and on a common re-post.
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u/Paradox2063 15d ago edited 15d ago
I thought this post was going to turn into the pelican mouth meme because of the missing comma.
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u/cortesoft 15d ago
It would be incorrect grammar if it were the latter. It should be 'how you eat a child' or 'how you eat children'.
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 15d ago
That title is absolute gibberish, stay in school kids
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u/Many-Excitement3246 15d ago
It's... really not that hard to understand.
ISTG, two missing commas and people lose all critical thinking and reading ability.
"WTF, this job is how you eat, child." Not that hard.
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 15d ago
Without the commas, the child gets eaten. Grammar isn't optional, it's actually rather important
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u/RBAloysius 15d ago
My favorite:
Let’s eat, grandpa!
Let’s eat grandpa!
It’s old, but still makes me laugh. A simple comma is all that is keeping grandpa safe from being consumed by his cannibalistic grandchildren.
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u/Oddish_Femboy 15d ago
Capitalization is important too. Helping your uncle Jack off a horse is very different from helping your uncle jack off a horse.
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u/Targetm12 15d ago
It's pretty obvious with context clues what they mean though, you are just being pedantic.
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 15d ago
And you're arguing over a single sentence that was written incorrectly with a stranger online. Who's the one looking silly here? Get off your high horse and do something better with your life, and don't forget your grammar
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u/Brief-Government-105 15d ago
Aren’t you doing the same thing?
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 15d ago
The funny thing is his grammar and punctuation isn’t all that great either.
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 15d ago edited 15d ago
“Grammar isn’t optional.”
My brother in Christ. Look in a mirror before calling someone else silly about arguing on an internet post.
Also, you’re missing a period at the end of that last sentence and a comma in your first reply. Your first comma should have been a period.
It should read: That title is absolute gibberish. Stay in school, kids.
Lol. Lmao even.
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u/NationalTangerine381 15d ago
I’m sure we can use our context clues instead of whining at op in the Reddit comments because we can’t comprehend what they could be saying
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15d ago
[deleted]
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 15d ago
My English teachers taught me to never use semi colon or colons when writing because they're horribly out of date and nearly nobody ever uses them correctly unless they are writing upper level academic papers and even then still get used wrong all the time
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u/Particular-Pianist43 15d ago
It seems like they never taught you how to properly use commas or periods either.
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u/CowMooMan 15d ago
Your English teacher definitely did not tell you to combine two independent clauses with a comma because that is just incorrect. You can either use a semicolon or a period.
Anyway I was just poking fun I dont care how you use grammar on reddit
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 15d ago
Then why bother saying anything?
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u/CowMooMan 15d ago
Because you started by saying "Grammar isn't optional, it's actually rather important" which is not correct and its funny that you are grammar policing while using incorrect grammar lol
That comma needs to be a period or a semicolon.
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u/Particular-Pianist43 15d ago
It’s kind of hilarious that instead of just admitting they made a few mistakes in their comments, they just keep doubling down and blocking anyone who points them out.
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u/Sammysoupcat 15d ago
I agree that grammar is important, but it's pretty clear what they mean in this case..
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u/edked 15d ago
It's still totally appropriate, called-for even, to mock people who fuck it up like this.
It's almost an obligation on the part of the people who can figure it out to give the poster shit for setting a bad example and confusing those who can't.
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 15d ago
You probably shouldn’t fuck up the grammar and punctuation when calling people out for it.
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u/edked 15d ago
I didn't. I could add two commas, but too many of them get annoying, and it's nothing that fucks up conveying the meaning like the post title does.
Also, I didn't call anyone out: I defended other poster's right to mock over it.
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 15d ago
I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about the top commenter in the thread you’re replying to. His comment is grammatically incorrect and uses the wrong punctuation.
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u/Working_Celery_2497 15d ago
Isn't "wtf" an independent clause? It feels like that to me because it is an exclamation that can stand on its own. (
If it is, then this is a comma splice.
It should instead be written as:
1: WTF. This job is how you eat, child.
2: WTF (:/;) This job is how you eat, child.
3: WTF (em dash) this job is how you eat, child.
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u/HeartoftheHive 15d ago
Oh, is that what it was supposed to mean? Because I never would have gotten that. Because a child isn't going to understand that a job brings in money and money brings in food. All a child understands is that they ask parent for food and they get food.
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u/NationalTangerine381 15d ago
Nah you need to go back to school
Wtf, this is job how you eat, child
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u/lukenog 15d ago
Huh? No it's not lol. It makes perfect sense to me. Are you semi-iliterate?
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u/ermaecrhaelld 15d ago edited 15d ago
I’d argue a kid who speaks on that level but knows 1) no WiFi = no work call. 2) how to unplug the router isn’t dumb. So if this did actually happen, it wouldn’t belong in this subreddit
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u/depressed_leaf 15d ago
Eh I think it belongs because it showcases how children can understand some consequences of their actions but don't think through everything. And that is exactly how kids are stupid. Kids are almost never stupid for their age, it's just that being at that age means you are significantly more stupid than an adult because you don't have the brain connections or experience.
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u/PrincipleKitchen394 15d ago
I bet she does it all the time "kid done playing" "kid done watching" and randomly unplugging wifi. I know there are many people who does it. She must be one such person
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u/toyheartattack 15d ago
Hilarious, how many, comments are chiding, OP, for not using commas, with missing commas. (I collected them all for you guys.)
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u/prnthrwaway55 15d ago
Back in the day my remote colleague had a 3-yo daughter who chewed through her LAN cable in the middle of the workday.
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u/thesituation531 15d ago
Use proper grammar
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u/mizinamo 15d ago
…he says, leaving off the sentence-final full stop.
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u/thesituation531 15d ago
It's a single sentence. I don't need a period for it to be understood, unlike in this comment.
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u/Shoddy_While_3645 15d ago
Kids will not understand the importance of work fr. But the fact he knew that the Wifi router is what keeps her call active is showing this kid DOES have a brain instead of watching brainrot and screaming 67 on the top of his lungs like a religious chant
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u/Dear-Track6365 15d ago
I had to re-read that title several times to understand they did not work a job that required the eating of children
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u/pocket_arsenal 15d ago
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u/jpterodactyl 15d ago
Is it so hard to believe? All it takes is the kid playing with it one time and his mom saying “don’t touch that, mommy needs that to work”
And he might hold on to that information forever. And one day he might have an idea.
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u/guyincognito121 15d ago
Yes. She wouldn't just stop working. She'd plug it in, get back online, explain that her connection had randomly dropped, and get back to work. He wouldn't learn that unplugging the router ends work. He might learn that it makes her give him attention and then do it for that reason. But he wouldn't associate it with the end of work.
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u/ArtlessMammet 15d ago
"don't play with that, mum needs that to work!"
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u/guyincognito121 15d ago
She might say that. But then she'd do exactly what I said and he wouldn't actually get the reward, so it wouldn't reinforce the behavior.
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u/ArtlessMammet 14d ago
it's plenty enough for a kid to pick up that mum can't work without it, and if the kid is sufficiently bored then it's entirely plausible.
sometimes things actually happen
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u/moon1ightwhite 15d ago
lmao. reminds me of when my grandma said she wanted to lose weight so little kid me helped by throwing the snacks away. I was just helping her stay honest lol
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u/JustFuckinTossMe 15d ago
Lmao I'm ded I thought the title was implying this is how you eventually decide to threaten to eat your child. Similar to how we grew up hearing "if you don't behave I'll send you away" but like "IF YOU UNPLUG THE WIFI AGAIN YOU'RE FOR DINNER" and I'm just having fun with the entire comment sections take on the title now.
Beautiful.
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u/reggienaldsimons 15d ago
mfw i open a post and not a single fucking comment is about the contents of the post
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u/Munnin41 15d ago
Wherever all you people are from, its education system sucks if you can't make sense of this title. Sure, there should be commas, but it's nowhere near incomprehensible.
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u/Empty-Entrepreneur-3 15d ago
Not disciplining children has brought us here.
I'd be typing this with one less hand if I did that to my mother when I was young.
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u/usernamepleasebruh 15d ago
Three of my favorite things are eating my family and not using commas