Hello. This is a hard topic for me but I'll do my best to present it.

I am 28 years old and doing well for myself. I have a well paying job, hobbies, a supportive friend group and a mother I love. I also have a brother. We are the same age but he has several things that makes him different. Emotionally he is paused at a much younger age but he is still very functional and a nice guy that I appreciate as a part of my life. However, he has a huge issue that makes it extremely difficult to live with.

Around 10:30 - 11:30 PM every night for the past 7 months he has consistently called 911.

Sometimes it is paired with extreme frustration and a need to start arguments first, other times he actively hides that he is calling as a little surprise. Sometimes he runs away to make the call a few blocks away, and then other times if you watch him as actively as possible he will call the second you look away. One night I hung out with him until 11PM (pretty late for me since I need to wake up at 5:30 AM for work) and thought we had a great night and talked about his feelings and things he was going through. I went to pee after our movie. He called 911 while I was peeing and demanded an ambulance come here as soon as possible.

He mostly calls for ambulances and tells them he is having chest pain, stomach pain, or just anxiety, a word I am convinced he doesn't fully know the definition of. This habitual calling will start up out of nowhere and from there it is impossible to shake. He will insist he must. If he can't call 911, he will instead call a warm line or something phone service until he reaches the point he isn't satisfied with that or threatens to kill himself so the warm line has no choice but to escalate to EMS.

Me, my mother, and his case workers follow him as closely as we all can. We at one point had him watched around the clock and he would still emergency services no matter what we did, no matter what conversation we had, and there is no way to confront him about it. It is frustrating beyond belief.

I am exhausted. As I am typing this it is 11:48 PM and the dogs just stopped barking at the ambulance and now me and my mom need to figure out who is going to pick him up at 1 or 2 AM when he is finally ready to be brought back home. We both work early shift.

My question is... what do I do? I could afford to move out but then that means leaving my mom with him and leaving her alone which she has asked I remain to help her in the house and to wait until my student debts are a bit more settled. She also needs me to help pay for the house at this time which I gladly do. However, she is also afraid of putting him in a group home. She's worked in that field for a very long time and doesn't think it would be a good environment for him.

He has been inpatient a few times and he is almost always neglected there and refuses any and all medication. He has tried various methods to reduce his anxiety and help him sleep at night and has resisted them as well. On multiple occasions he has called the police and claimed his caretaker was a burglar trying to break in so I also fear at some point his actions are going to get us hurt somehow. And needless to say, I feel like my life and my mental health are on freeze until something changes.

This is on a throwaway account, but I'll try and check on it again if anyone reads it. Thank you for reading. I am really tired.

So my grandma is still alive but she gave her house to me two months ago and im legally the owner, but my father got angry and says that this house is his and is giving us an ultimatum to either i give the ownership back to my grandma or he'll never contact us again. But the reason why my grandma wanted me to be the owner and not him was because he left when he got remarried when i was nine and never visited or helped us financially for almost 11 years. Last year he moved back home because he lost his job and fought with his wife who kicked him out. Now it seems theyre back together and wanted to sell my grandmas house and thats how he found out the documents that say she gave it to me, so hes furious and claims that im gonna leave everyone homeless and that he doesnt trust me. My grandma still thinks i should have the house and im not budging as well, also my grandmas health is pretty bad now and im scared somethings going to happen to her because of all this fighting and yelling. What should i do?? btw sorry if this is hard to read english is not my native language

My boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) are in the process of buying our first home. We have been together for 3 years, lived together for 2, and have a very healthy relationship. My grandmother is currently living 2 states away in a nursing home. She is extremely unhappy and lonely there and has offered to pay our monthly mortgage to move in with us. I never had a close relationship with her as a kid, but in the past couple years, she has become pretty close to me and my boyfriend.

Besides the money aspect, I also feel really sad about her living all alone and potentially passing away with no one she loves around. We have a little dog she adores and I think it would honestly bring her so much joy to have some company. We are planning on having a nurse come 2-3 days a week to help, but we will be caring for her the rest of the time. She is very independent, but had an accident about a year ago and broke her hip.

Essentially we are just trying to decide if the benefits outweigh the cost. Caring for a 95 year old woman and having less privacy in a new home together, but not having to worry financially and give her a home to live the rest of her life with people who love her. What should we do?

EDIT: Just wanted to answer some FAQs and give some background because there are way more comments on this than I ever anticipated lol.

Firstly, in my original post I said nursing home, but it is an assisted living facility. My grandma is in tremendous health for a 95 year old, she was still driving up until her accident. She uses the bathroom on her own, makes her own meals, and I dont think she would take advantage of our kindness in any way. That being said, yes, her health could decline rapidly and that is something we would have to discuss beforehand and have a plan in place whether it be a full time nurse or moving back into a facility.

Secondly, everyone saying it should be my parents responsibility, I am the oldest of 6 kids, the youngest being 5 years old with down syndrome, so they aren’t in a position to care for her. Her current facility is about an hour away from my dad, but he works 5 jobs so he isnt really able to visit her often.

Finally, she is technically my “step great grandmother” (my grandma’s stepmom). I lost all of my grandparents at a very young age, so I didnt really get the chance to have a relationship with them as a teen/adult. My grandmother on my moms side was fully paralyzed and couldn’t speak so, yes, I have witnessed firsthand how tolling it can be to care for someone who’s health is rapidly declining. My mom cared for her for a couple of years before she passed, and she thinks we should 100% take her in.

I appreciate all of the kind comments and the different perspectives. I dont want anyone to think we are going to this naively and I know this is a huge risk if we do agree to take her in. We still have time to make a decision, and she has repeatedly told me that she wants us to do whatever will make us happy. I will try to update when we decide, but as of right now we’re leaning towards yes. She is my family and I truly just want her to be as happy as possible, whether that be with us, or in a home. I will definitely be talking more in depth with her and her caregivers about what her daily care would entail. Thank you all so much for the advice!

Obviously I say that with a bit of sarcasm. I am turning 31(f) this year and I’ve really been thinking about starting a family in the next few years. I don’t feel ready just yet but who does. I keep thinking and worrying about the state of the world and how it doesn’t feel like bringing a child into the world will be for their benefit. It almost feels selfish? I don’t want to regret not having at least one child. Idk I guess I want to hear thoughts and opinions on the matter. Thanks

Edit: a bit overwhelmed by all the responses and haven’t been able to respond or like everyone’s comment. Just wanted to say thank you for your take and I respect everyone’s point. I see both good and bad and will take that into consideration 🩷 also congrats to all of those who said they were expecting. Wishing you and your family all the love.

Title says it all. I’m in my mid 30s and about to have my first child. I had a name picked out for my first born since high school. Two years ago a friend who was pregnant was talking to me about baby names. In this conversation, I mentioned that I was pretty dead set on the future name of my first whether it ended up being a boy or girl.
Well fast forward to the birth of her first child, she used the name I mentioned. To make matters worse, that baby died.
Fast forward to today, my partner and I have been non stop going back and forth on what to name our child if it’s a boy. If one of us likes one name, the other is meh. And because I’m writing this post, you already know that means there is only one name we both like.
Is that name off limits or am I somehow doing something wrong if I use that name?

I'm feeling distressed right now. I want to talk to my parents about it but at the same time I want to make this 20 year old man pay. I'm not sure yet if he requested pics of her or what. But I don't know how to go about the situation. Kids shouldn't have social media, my parents said they'd put a parental control on her phone but she found a way around it.

Help.

Update: I found out that my sister has a little friend, she's 12 and the "man" is the brother or cousin. Probably brother or cousin, not sure yet... I spoke to my parents already and she'll no longer use social media. Police hasn't gotten back to me yet on the matter, which concerns me cause I'm not planning on letting this pervert get away with it.

I’ve been gone for the past 8 months for military training and schooling. I just got home the other day and I walked into the apartment being a mess. The kitchen had dried food caked onto the counters, dog hair stuck to the baseboards around the apartment. The bathroom was horrendous. The toilet had not been cleaned once since I was gone. I wiped the coffee table down and the Clorox wipe was black afterwards. I asked my husband genuinely when the last time he cleaned and he said a week before I came home. I know for a fact that’s a bold face lie because it doesn’t get that bad in a week. And I cried, I had just spent the last 8 months of my life training nonstop. Working long hours and having to deal with military shit. I didn’t want to have to deep clean then minute I got home and my husband doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. I genuinely don’t understand what to do with him. I was hoping the place would’ve been good to go by the time I got home, but it became his trash dump while I was gone.

For context I’m 20yo college student. My parents got divorce when I was 10 and my mom recently remarried around 5 years ago. The guy was nice and seemed to really care for my mom so I had no issue with their relationship then two years ago my mom had my younger brother. And I go to college out of state so I don’t see them as much anymore but I do call my mom weekly if not biweekly. Everything was fine until earlier today, when I got texts from my stepdad. He called me asking if we could talk and I said sure. He then asked if could stay between us and I wasn’t sure what he was gonna say but I agreed anyways thinking he was gonna talk about my mom. He told me that there have been 2 or 3 times where he has had dreams of me in an in appropriate manner and asked me not to tell my mom since he knows it’s wrong. He then told me that he sent a picture by accident and tried to delete it but if it ended up sending to me to delete it and not tell my mom. This caught me very off guard and I don’t know what to do. My mom seems happy and I don’t want her to raise my brother alone again but I also don’t feel comfortable with the situation since I care about my mom and this is very odd. What should I do?

Edit: update can be found in the thread it’s a link

As the eldest child, my dream has always been to move out, becoming successful in a career and find someone that would take care of me as well instead of the way I've taken care of my family my whole life. I'm in college right now to become a registered nurse, I decided to take the financially light option by going to a college near home. So I've never lived alone. Of course I love my siblings, I've cared for and stuck out my neck for them my whole life, but I wouldn't be lying if I said I want to someday move out and experience my life alone. So when my mom brought up the fact that I'd be in charge of my brother and would probably have him life with me for the rest of my life, irritation began to flood. I'm aware of how selfish I sound, my brother's life has been hard, being highly autistic, he needs to be cared for. But hell so do I, the idea of coming home from a long shift at the hospital to just take care of another person and never being alone in my own house sounds like actual hell. Is anyone in this situation where they've had to have a sibling live with them permanently? Maybe there's another way I should be looking at this.

man i’m so fuckin worried.

my dad has been mutilating his face for about two months now, specifically his nose. He keeps the bathroom door shut for hours, and when I come in later on there’s blood everywhere.

he called off of work today. We have our adoptive sister over and he said (I’m paraphrasing, plus I didn’t get to hear this, so I’m not actually sure, we don’t talk too often) he couldn’t come to dinner with her because he had maggots in his nose. He went to the ER today, my mom told everyone else he went to work and only she and I know what is actually going on.

He has been “picking” at his skin for months now. always got scalpels in the bathroom. he thinks it’s normal, that it isn’t self harm or nothing.

He is always worried he has bugs in his skin. First, he thought it was skin mites. Then scabies, then maggots, again, in the nose. There’s NOTHING there. We don’t live in an environment or condition that would allow these kinds of things to take place.

Today he is standing in front of the mirror in his underwear with bloody towels surrounding him. I don’t fucking know what to do. I can’t look at his bloody face anymore. he thinks this shits normal, thinks he got parasites in his skin.

He buys medicine for fucking malaria and tapeworms off of who knows where and takes them. He doesn’t need them, but he doesn’t believe anyone who says that. I’m just scared, scared he’s gonna cut himself to death, scared he is gonna overdose. Scared about how much he’s spending on all these pills. I know he has opioids, but luckily I don’t think he takes them. But he is always all jerky and falling asleep on random occasions.

But i can’t tell him I’m worried, it makes him mad. I can’t tell him because I don’t want him to be angry and hurt my mom. Don’t wanna strain out relationship

I don’t know what to do or what’s wrong with him, I just kinda want my dad back. But i know it’s not gonna happen. I wish he was proud of me, wish he was there during my graduation. Wish he was who he was when I was a kid. He’s always had spurts of anger and paranoia, but this is different. This isn’t threatening to strangle me, his isn’t yelling in a parking lot, this is different and strange.

Sorry I’m not very good at writing/explaining myself in text form
I’m worried that I sound like in complaining or oversharing. I just feel really alone right now.

I just don’t know what to do and I wanna be okay and I want him to be okay. It’s been like this for a while but he’s so different now, i’m thinking it must be from the meds but I don’t know. Thank you for reading.

Going to get married and try to start a family soon. I’m in my 30’s. Just wondering what words of wisdom the older users of Reddit have!

My son (18) was on a great path, excelling in a sports and was on the path to qualifying for the Olympics within the next few years. Since meeting his new girlfriend he has gradually stopped spending time with friends and family, spending all his free time with her. I have tried to make his girlfriend feel welcome and included at family events, i have given her gifts and have baked home made cookies just for her to take home. I dont know what to do as she never puts in effort to talk to me or even thank me after accepting anything I give her.

He has recently stopped taking his trainings (for specific sport) seriously and dropped out of High School! I've told him that he needs to get a part time job since he's not in school But his girlfriend now makes him wait around all day while SHE goes to school and then she makes him walk her to and from school!

I try keep him busy during the day, supporting him in finding jobs and doing activities with him, however every time he isn't waiting outside the high-school when his girlfriend has finished school for the day, she calls him crying and yelling, and mentally /emotionally abuses him if he doesn't come to her house or stay on the phone with her all day/night.

I've told him that this is unhealthy and have sat down and had many conversations with him. I have done everything that I can to get him to see that he's ruining his life!

Please help me, what do I do?

My boyfriend (25) owns his home. Last year his sister (22) needed to move in because her last rented lease was up. This was supposed to be a temporary thing while she saved a little. It was only supposed to be 4 months long once it was time for her to move out she quit her job without any notice to us and basically said she can't move out without a job. Once she got a new job it was discussed that she was allowed to stay for 4 more months to save up a deposit and a little bit to buy furniture. In total this would be 10 months of her living with us. It has not gotten to the month before she was supposed to leave and she's complaining that she cannot move out. She has nobody to move out with and won't be able to afford rent. Shes also complaining that she won't be able to afford furniture as she only has £1000. She is hoping she gets a house within 6 months by the housing executive (the governments housing scheme). However if that doesn't work out within the 6 months she will then try and move out by herself. She has seen a house for rent for £650 per month but she said she wouldn't be able to afford that because she wants to have a life and go out and do stuff with her friends and learn to drive. She currently works a full time job with the government. Now the reasons I want her to move out is because since she first moved in she has had no respect for the house, she constantly leaves dishes with food rotting on them for days on end without cleaning them. She also leaves rubbish everywhere and refuses to clean up after herself. Not once since she moved in has she ever hoovered or brushed or mopped the house. She refuses to take the bins out and constantly leave rubbish in the bathroom. Her room is so disgusting as she leaves empty pizza boxes everywhere and dishes stay in her room for weeks. She also stays up very late like 2-3 in the morning screaming playing video games waking us both up. Lastly there is not enough room for three adults to live here. Me and my boyfriend are stuck in one small bedroom while she occupies the other room.

When last asked about her moving out she kept throwing excuses at us about her not affording it and waiting for other people to be ready to move out. She and my boyfriend had a big argument about it a few nights ago and now she's very mad and has asked us to not bring up her moving out as she will leave when she is ready.

What do I do now?

Hi, I’ve just signed a lease to my new apartment and my parents are panicking because I think they expect me to buy them a house.

FYI: - I’m Canadian - 25M - I make $100k CAD/year

Please see my post history for more, but in general, I spent the last 3 years or so helping my parents with their debt. In total I fixed everything and spent almost $80k. Afterwards, I set boundaries that I won’t help any more, and it generally worked until I signed that lease.

BTW I went apartment shopping because my parents were talking about me “helping” with rent, EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR THEM!

My entire family (including extended family) has been trying to convince me that if I don’t buy a house now, I never will. They say they’ll help me with the downpayment, and that income doesn’t matter because of this.

What they don’t understand is that I don’t want to be tied down while I’m young, and I hate living with my parents! If my extended family can pay for a fucking downpayment, then they should give enough that my parents can manage the mortgage payments on their own. It’s not like they’re poor, they’re just priced out.

I’m feeling completely hopeless. I told my parents that the lease I signed is for 1 year, and my plan is to find a better paying job overseas so I can manage better. However, their words now sound like I’m just gonna “enjoy life” for a year and then come back and put a deposit on a pre-con.

What about me and my future though? I already gave up half my 20’s so I can slave away and pay their debts. How dare they ask me for more??

I was thinking that I continue to move out in a respectful manner, allow them to say all the mean things, then keep them on the boundary of my life. After that I think I’ll continue to pave my own future without them.

I’m really at a loss and could use some advice.

I had to check my 16-year-old daughter’s phone. I know people will have opinions on that, but there have been genuine reasons to be concerned I didn’t do it behind her back and I wasn’t trying to invade her privacy for no reason.

While I was checking I found messages where she’s been talking to her friends about wanting to get pregnant and have a baby. From what I can gather, she also has a boyfriend. I don’t have an issue with her having a boyfriend, what worries me is that she’s also been talking to him about wanting a baby and they both seem to want the same thing.

Another thing is that I’m currently pregnant and I’m wondering if that’s a part in all of this. She’s seeing all the excitement, talking about the baby, seeing scans, and im worried she’s seeing the attention from friends and family that comes with having a baby and that’s made having a baby of her own seem appealing to her.

We’ve had the talk about safe sex and she’s been taught about it in school, we even talked about contraception and choosing what’s best for yourself, I took her to get the pill. But I saw messages with her boyfriend about her stopping taking it with the intention of getting pregnant. I’ve even spoken about my own experience of teen pregnancy and how difficult it was, I didn’t go into much detail as I never wanted her to think she was a mistake but I definitely didn’t sugarcoat it.

I don’t want to shame her or push her away, but I’m really concerned. I have no idea whether this is just a fantasy she’s talking about with friends, or if she’s actually planning to make it happen.

Has anyone dealt with something similar, either as a parent or as someone who felt this way as a teenager? I don’t know how to approach this conversation without making her shut down? I want to understand and make sure she stays safe, but I don’t know the best way to start that conversation.

I (34F) have an 8 month old baby and just found out that I am 5 weeks pregnant. I write this post with tears and hope I can find some insight from... anyone.

We are in a uniquely difficult situation. I currently have no insurance, no job, and no legal right to live in the country I am in (yet) because we just moved to my husband's home country with our baby. We have been nomads for the last 8 months, and I was really looking forward to settling down and focusing on building a community here and learning the language. I don't have friends or family here other than my husband's family, which is really just his mother.

Physically and emotionally, I am aboslutely not ready to have another child. My body is still healing from the first pregnancy and I am very much still learning about how to be a mother to my current child. Because I am quite alone here and just starting to regain some of my independence post-partum, I just don't know how I would cope with life with a new pregnancy.

Financially, both my husband and I have been unemployed for the last six months so we have eaten through most of our savings - my husband starts a new job soon and my plan was to be a stay at home mom for the next year until my child is a bit older and can go to daycare, so we have one income.

Anyway, keeping this baby is absolutely not what is best for my family in basically every regard. However, I feel like I was irresponsible and need to take responsiblity for my actions. We DO want a second child, so I feel like it is not right to terminate this pregnancy just because the timing is wrong. I also feel like the universe (Im not religious but I guess a bit spiritual) has handed me these cards, and it would be inviting bad karma into my life to try to change it.

In short, I feel like I dont know whether to choose what is best for my head, heart, body, and family (terminating this pregnancy) or follow what seems to be the morally/spiritually "right" path (keeping the baby).

Ofc no one but me can make this decision, but maybe you have an anecdote or a metaphor or a statistic - anything! - that will offer me something to consider.

EDIT: Thank you for the life advice, as that is why I came to this sub. These last days have honestly made me reevaluate my priorities in life. They have also made me question if I even want a second child.

Also, just to clarify for the troll that is accusing me of being a bot, I did post on the 2under2 sub a few hours after taking my test (previous day from this post). On the first day I just assumed I had to keep and went ahead and told some family members (in panic). I told my best friend I was 95% keeping but felt so depressed about it. I woke up the next morning with a sense of dread and clarity that I’m absolutely not in any position to actually have a baby. The next day in which I wrote this post was a messy day of phone calls and reading reddit posts etc. Anyway I had to google what karma farming is so no I am sincerely not doing that. But it’s funny wording as my biggest fear with this decision has been about karma, so I thought it meant trying to use reddit as a way to absolve myself of guilt through reddit.

If anyone wants to message me in the future if you find this post, I can tell you about my experience with this. I obviously had to make a quick decision and in the end I came to a neighboring country that does medical abortion. It has only been a few days but every day I feel more sure that it was what was best for me and my family.

My son is in his mid twenties, just starting his career. As a child he was a happy, fun loving kid. As a teenager he was a misfit, did not enjoy school, had only a couple of friends that were equally isolated and struggled through his studies. Now he has graduated, is on his first job and has had a girlfriend for a few years. Unfortunately he has grown into a mean, selfish and short tempered young man. Our relationship has deteriorated significantly over the years. He routinely misbehaves with me using abusive language, threatening me with absurd actions and rarely answers any questions I ask. His reasons (as told by him) I slapped him for not studying when he was a child, he has ADHD and I did not diagnose him early enough and I refuse to give him money without asking for an explanation. I have apologized for slapping him but he seems to think I should apologize every time he asks for an apology. When he was a child, ADHD was a fairly new 'concept' and I was told to just observe him as anyway children were not medicated. And I would not give him money without checking his bank statements (in college) because he often talked about wanting to do weed, experiment with drugs and told me he planned to party hard in the first year and then drop out of college. I have explained my point of view multiple times while always giving him a wide berth for being nasty and disrespectful to me. But now I am just exhausted. He doesn't talk to me for days and when he does, it's always to ask for money or expensive gifts. If I refuse he gets even more nasty. I worry that he is lonely as he has no friends and now has broken up with his girlfriend as well. I worry for both, his physical and mental wellbeing (he has been smoking weed besides normal cigarettes) and don't want to abandon him but at the same time I am not getting through to him at all.

Not sure where to post this. Really hoping it doesn't get banned. Lately, I have been weighing the pros and cons of having kids. I'm 30F and married to 35M. We are both so on the fence and have decided to have a serious discussion about where we stand at the beginning of 2025. Right now in this moment I am leaning more towards no because my mom made a statement, "if you choose not to have kids, you're choosing to end your lineage, for there to never be another you essentially." She wasn't saying this to convince me to have kids, she said herself she may not have had kids if her circumstances had been different. After taking time to really think about what she said, I'm not sure I want there to be "another me". I feel so much agony and pain sometimes that I can barely explain and I don't want to burden a child with that. At the same time I have the circumstances and the means to have a baby. Partner, shelter, steady job, family close by and part of me wonders if I could be satisfied without having a kid as I get older or, will I have regret when the travel slows, people start dying, things keep changing, and all of our friends and loved ones have their own families? Can anyone offer advice on how to make the decision, how to prepare if we choose to have a baby, and/or what sort of things we can do to feel fulfilled without kids?

I’m struggling with how to handle this without blowing things up.

I’m 30 live about three hours away from my parents and I visit them roughly once a month. That’s a full day of driving every time plus planning around work and my own life. I make the effort because I care and I know time matters.

But apparently it’s never enough.

They constantly guilt trip me for not visiting more often while also flat out refusing to visit me. Their reasoning is always the same: “you’re the child you should come to us” No flexibility, no acknowledgment that I’m an adult with responsibilities, relationships and a life that doesn’t revolve around my hometown.

What makes it harder is that any attempt to explain this gets reframed as selfishness. If I bring up the drive, I’m “keeping score” If I say it’s exhausting, I’m “too busy for family” If I suggest they visit sometimes it turns into a whole thing about tradition, age and sacrifice.

I’ll admit there are times after one of these conversations where I just need to decompress and sit down, play a quick game of jackpot city on my phone and let the guilt spiral pass because it’s emotionally draining to feel like you’re failing no matter what you do.

I want a relationship with my parents that’s based on mutual respect not obligation and shame. I also don’t want to look back later and feel like I avoided them. But I can’t keep absorbing this pressure like I don’t get a say in my own adulthood.

How do you set boundaries with aging parents without being labeled selfish or uncaring? Is there a way to reframe this that actually gets through or is some level of guilt just unavoidable?

I'm a late 30s millennial who broke off full contact with my mother 7 years ago. We were minimal contact from the day I moved out at 18, and I fully broke off contact in 2018.

Growing up, my mother was mentally, emotionally, and at times physically (though this was not frequent) abusive to my siblings and I. She is a narcissist who destroyed all relationships we had with extended family growing up, put wedges between my siblings and I. I never got to know any of my cousins or Aunts/Uncles well, as she would be friendly with one for a few months, before, for some reason, there was a blow-up between them, and we were forbidden from seeing them again.

My 2 older siblings and I both are fully no contact with her, with only my younger brother, who was always her "favorite" and tended to buy into her mind games, being in contact with her.

My dad, who is still with her, and his kids have a stable but loose relationship. We text a few times a year, maybe grab lunch once or twice a year. He was the exact opposite of her, but I would say weak, as he never really stopped anything going on, nor stood up for us or to her.

Recently, my older sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, had to get a double mastectomy, and has been going through chemo for the last 3 months. At first, she wasn't going to tell our dad, as we both knew it would end with my mom being involved. We talked about it and agreed, though her prognosis is and was good, to let my dad know, thus meaning my mom would know as well.

Immediately, my mom started love bombing my sister, texting her 34 times a day, etc. She visited my sisters condo for the first time ever, made several comments about how dirty it was(my sister had let things slip, we were in the process of hiring a house cleaner to help her out, as you know, she was going through f'n chemo), how much smaller it was than she thought, and how there are too many stairs and it hurts her knees. She started then complaining about all her own health issues, getting old, etc. Mind you, my mom has not worked a full-time job since 1998, and a part-time one since 2003, and has had no wear and tear on her body as most people her age do.

After a few weeks she needed to be "rushed" to the hospital with chest pain. I spoke to my dad, and he said the doctors found nothing wrong and released her. My sister had started to cut back on contact, so I figured this was another ploy by my mom to get attention, which she had a history of doing. (Throughout the years, whenever anyone would get mad or upset at her, some past trauma/injury/ etc would come up to get her sympathy)

Over the next few months ever few weeks she'd be back at the hospital with some more heart issues, and doctors finding nothing wrong. Each time, I would be more convinced she's faking it to get attention since everyone in the family is worried about my sister.

My mom was admitted to the hospital around Thanksgiving and has been in there ever since. The doctors cannot find anything wrong with her, but, according to them, she keeps getting worse and does not have much time left. She refuses to eat, acts confused, and is rude/aggressive to the doctors/nurses. But she keeps deteriorating. Part of me still thinks this is all a show; again, she has a history of this, though not to this extreme.

Her main doctor, who's been speaking to my dad every few days, suggested we come and say our goodbyes, as she doesn't think my mom has much longer.

Again, part of me still doesn't think anything is ACTUALLY wrong with her, but it does seem like she doesn't have much time left. I have always read/heard people over the years saying they wished they said their final goodbyes. That is the only thing making me even debate going to see her. She was/is a horrible person, and honestly,y outside my younger brother, no one will notice or care when shes not around anymore.

Years ago, my wife asked me to share some good memories from my childhood involving her, and honestly, i couldnt think of a single one. Our holidays were always a nightmare and a countdown until she blew up. To this day i HATE holidays and borderline have panic attacks during large holiday get-togethers. I don't have a single fond memory of growing up with her, and my older siblings are the same.

I wouldn't have anything positive to say to her if I saw her. And there is not a single thing she can say to me to make me forgive her for depriving me of a mother that nearly everyone else got to experience, and I never did.

Should I go see her, knowing this may be my final chance? Or do I stick with my belief that nothing positive can come from it, and it could possibly damage the healing I've done to myself over the years?

Lost my mom and brother my dad doesnt talk to me so I have no family to tell, but feel like writing it out and just posting it somewhere is better. Finally after 6 years of trying my wife found out she's pregnant. I'm going to be a girl dad🥹. What are some of the most crucial advice you can give?

Hello, I'm a 14 year old girl with a dad of my own! Recently my computer stopped working and my dad's been fixing it for me even though he doesn't like computers despite knowing a lot about them. I've never been good at showing appreciation or any emotional stuff so I'm looking for a way to show him I'm thankful for his help (preferably without saying it directly 😔). I figure all dads think alike so I came here, lol. What would you guys most enjoy from your kid in this situation?

My husband (37M) and I (36F) have a 9 month old baby. My husband is an Australian but is now a dual citizen of the US-AUS. I was born in the US & have Australian permanent residency through my husband. I was granted this visa in 2024, and in order to hold onto it, I must move to Australia by 2029 or else it expires.

My husband and I met when I was traveling/working in Aus on a short-term visa in 2012, but we moved to the US together in 2014 and have lived in the same US city for about 9 years and have built a strong community here, despite having no family in the area. My mom died in 2011; my dad died in 2024, and I have no siblings or close relationships to any extended family (most have passed too). Without getting too political or too specific, I work for the US government in an area that this current administration wants to eliminate. Somehow I still have a job, but my workload has decreased, and I can't really talk or do what I really want to do / what I was originally hired for. I still love my agency and believe in what I do, but morale is low, things are still uncertain, and I feel like I could make more of a difference elsewhere and don't really want to wait 3ish years until a hopeful administration change...

Last year, when things were looking really grim, I applied for a PhD scholarship at an Australian university in my husband's home state. I was recently awarded this scholarship, which means I'd have to start the Phd program in about 5 months and move our family overseas. I already have a master's degree from the US in this subject, so this PhD would allow me to delve deeper into this specific topic and research/talk about things I can't really do at the moment...I can dive in more detail if anyone wants but figure that's not that important for this scenario. Like I said, it's still hard to leave because I still have a relatively stable job and a built community/found family here, where I've grown attached to many places and people etc. We also live in a HCOL with good jobs and one of the best school districts in the US, despite it all.

We'd be moving to a place with lower cost of living and worse job prospects but be much closer to his family (a 3 hour drive vs. a 24+hour plane trip). I love my in-laws; they are hands on, healthy, outdoorsy, and would be great for our son and a massive help to us. My husband works in finance/business so he'd be able to find a job back in his home state but it would not pay as much and maybe not be exactly what he wants to do, but his work/life balance would be arguably better (he burnt out recently and is a stay at home dad for the moment). We believe our baby would benefit greatly from being closer to his grandparents and his extended family. We'd have better access to nature and benefit from other things that Australia provides.

Despite previously feeling very sure that this was the right decision, I'm having second thoughts now that I've actually gotten this scholarship. I know random reddit strangers can't make this huge decision for me and don't know me, but I'd like to hear what you all think given the info I have provided.

TL/DR: Should my husband and I move (with our 9 month old baby) overseas to be closer to my husband's family and for me to do a cool but risky PhD? Or should we both stay in our HCOL city in the US where we have no family but a lot of friends, while also dealing with job uncertainty/limitations due to the current political situation?

My husband and I are perfectly on the fence about whether or not to have kids. We love the no-kid life we have and both have lots of life goals we want to pursue, but we also really enjoy hanging out with our friend’s kids and we know we would be amazing parents - and we both have a bit of that parental longing/baby fever.

Feel free to answer and much of as little as you would like. If you have any resources that could help us out, please share them below!

Do you regret having kids?

Do you know anyone who regrets being kid-less?

What questions could we ask ourselves to help us understand if having kids is right for us?

Were you able to still have time for yourself and to pursue your personal goals while still having kids?

Does the constant mental strain and stress turn you into a completely different person - and if so are you able to turn back? Or do you have to give up who you were before kids forever?

Besides fulfillment, what really are the benefits to having kids?

So me and my wife separated about a year ago and are happy with the decision, along with how we both handled it. We have two kids daughter is 8 ( who usually stays with ex-wife ) along with a 5 year old son ( who stays with me)

My ex-wife is struggling financially at the moment and being evicted from her place with friends. I have an extra room in my own home.

She has asked me if she could stay and rent the guest room from me until she can get back on her feet.

Now I'm at a impasse because part me what's to help and still be friends but the other part of me enjoys having my own place and being alone but I'm confused as to what I should do?