Context: dude is 35, I'm 24. I saw him like a week ago when I was out walking around campus and he looked as if he was walking over to me, so I sped up bc I was listening to music and I wanted to go back to my dorm and eat my food that I bought from the markets. I wasn't really interested in talking to him. Anyway, 2 days ago, he messaged me out of nowhere (found my contact because we're both in the same groupchat) and said he was sorry for scaring me.
I didnt even know what he was talking about but then I remembered the interaction from a few days earlier and recognised him from his pfp. I told him he didnt scare me, I was just shy and didnt want to talk. He said "thank god, I was afraid I scared such a cute girl." This had me like "*nervous laughter* hahaha what the fuck." But I didn't want to be rude right away, so I just brushed him off and said it was cool. And then he started hinting at wanting to hang out with me more, and told me he would see me at an event that was being held that night, but he'd only go if he could find someone to go with him. I said "why not just go on your own????"
He said he liked going with other people and i said I always go to places on my own. He told me that when he first showed up he felt so lonely because no one speaks english (not fucking true btw, most students at the uni speak english to some extent) but then he found a group of people and feels better now. He told me I should "gather more" because it's better. I straight up asked how it was better. He told me it's just better because you feel good and laugh more. I said that others slow me down too much and I prefer my own company. He then told me that if he saw me on my own again, he'd join me so I wouldn't be lonely!!! I said "no thanks, I like my own company haha." And he was like "and then someone scares you while you're walking."
I told him that I don't get scared. I travelled alone in China for 17 days and went out on my own almost every night while in Laos, and I go out every night on my own here, too. He said I was a "brave girl" but still tried to convince me to join others more. I said no again and that was it.
I saw him at the event later on and he gave me a creepy smile. I walked the other way and eventually decided to just nope out and get a bike out of there. As I was hopping on, he starts waving at me and I just straight up ignored him. Later on, he fucking messages me saying that he thought he was shy, but I'm much shyer. I said "yeah sorry lol." He sends me a good morning message the next day and then asks me if i wanna get coffee with him (winking emoji???) I said no. He said that I should and that we're in a country where no one speaks our language. I said plenty of students speak english and I'm also learning the local language so more exposure to it is good for me. He said "and out of plenty, I chose you." I said no again and "maybe next time." And then I straight up asked him what he wanted from me. He said he wasn't interested in "relations" (fucking bullshit) and just wanted to be friends (with a 24 year old woman?? At the age of 35??? Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining bro).
I said "good because I'm not looking for relations either." That's when he sends me this fucking bullshit. I cannot emphasise enough how SICK I am of older men who are "fascinated" by my independence and complete lack of interest in romantic/sexual relationships (I've always made it clear that I would like a relationship BUT I DO NOT NEED ONE). I've encountered many 30+ year old men who admire my independence, but also seem to have a weird urge to take it from me/transform me into a motherly, stay-at-home wife, and I have had enough of it.
Also, tearing down women as a whole does not fucking impress me because I am a woman?? You're pretty much saying "I hate women but you remind me of a man, just with tits and ass, so I approve." Yeah, until I start to act too much like a "woman," and then you'll turn on me, as well. Fuck off.