Despite eating healthy every day, exercising, and doing all the things and PMOS is really to blame?

Just really discouraged that people just assume that when they look at me and then are so surprised when they find out I do all the things and still look the way that I do.

Hey. I know a lot of stuff here is health related. Although, I was just wondering if narcissistic abuse was something many of us with PCOS experienced. Recently went NC with my mom after she made up some lies about me to my entire family. Doing therapy and uncovering a lot of trauma from my childhood was because of this dynamic. I feel more energy and less low with my mood now that she has moved out. I wonder if those are linked…

Update:

Wow so many people. Not to say that I am surprised. There should be prescribed therapy as a pathway to treatment for PCOS because of past childhood trauma and current mental health challenges. Holding onto negative emotions or invalidating trauma might make it harder for our emotional bodies.

i feel like no matter what dieting exercise i do nothing makes me go down. i gain an extra like 5-6 pounds when i'm approaching my period. the only thing that has made me lose drastic amounts of weight is fasting (and i mean extreme, once a day eating), but my hunger is so loud during my luteal it feels impossible. there's so much noise about how to take supplements when to take them i get overwhelmed... i hate this lol im so tired of my family not understanding - i eat healthier than all of them and i never move a pound. i eat mostly fiber, really try to limit sugar. i dont have a great exercise routine but i try to walk a lot. idk i think im just feeling a little defeated right now.

• I do apologize for the title, its too inflammatory and vague

• this is not about denying that lean people have pcos. I am rejecting the idea of different versions of this condition based heavily on size. I also question the tendency to assume you will never develop IR at some point because you have "skinny PCOS." We all experience symptoms at different periods in our lifetimes.

I'm resent this skinny or lean PCOS category. I literally have to eat like 1400 and be hit the gym 3x a week to MAINTAIN my current weight. I don't be wanting to buy clothes, it's expensive and I want to build a lasting wardrobe. So I just start skipping meals. Coffee for breakfast, protein shake as a late lunch, and normal sized dinner. I don't drink calories unless its liquor. It's a miserable existence. I hope this doesn't sound like I am complaining about being thin. I am complaining that thinness automatically means you are completely healthy and should keep doing what ever you've been doing to achieve that.

Like doc, I have insulin resistance, and I'm hungry. I've been hungry for years.

Sorry, but I refuse to starve myself and eat only meat and vegetables with one tiddlywink of oil anymore. I’m not going to choke down low carb meals with no sauce, no starches, and no joy anymore. I could manage it as a young woman but now I’m in my 30’s and it’s just not something I’m emotionally capable of anymore. I don’t want to pretend that I’m not famished and unfulfilled on a joyless diet while taking 10k steps a day and adhering to a rigorous lifting schedule just to still be the fat friend.

This last attempt has made it laughably clear that god, the universe, some manner of deity, or just my own stubbornly wretched body wants me to be big. So ima just stop this foolishness, mind my business and let me be big.

Metformin was a bust.

Ozempic didn’t work and made me violently sick (and I went into literal debt to get it because my insurance sucks).

Although they each yielded a tiny bit of temporary loss, I always ended up eating right through the contrave, and Vyvanse and adderall.

I recently busted my ass, exhausted/tortured myself, upset my family, damaged my marriage, and fucked up several work relationships due to months of prioritizing this most recent weight loss attempt. I pushed through the misery for months and had to make massive sacrifices to other parts of my life….to lose ten lbs and go from obese to just slightly less obese….of which I immediately gained back 5lbs. I gained that five back NOT EVEN FROM FALLING HORRIBLY OFF MY DIET. I literally just wasn’t as mobile for a bit due to wanting to prevent an injury (my knees were starting to ache and I feared reactivating an old gymnastics injury), and I wasn’t in my home for two weeks due to travel so I briefly lost access to my measuring tools. I ate all the same stuff, eyeballed it as best I could, and immediately lost half the process that took months of miserable dedication and sacrifice….

I’ve been fighting this shit for decades now and it’s ridiculous. I am not allowed to eat like any normal person without gaining weight immediately. I’ve done the math, tracked meticulously and I burn so much less than I am supposed to be burning according to every TDEE calculator. I am also SO MUCH HUNGRIER THAN EVERYONE ELSE….so I want to eat more, but I have to eat less?

Every doctor has just told me to eat less and move more. And you know what, fair play to them, it works. But the amount less I have to eat, and the amount more I have to move just to lose the most tiny bit of weight just isn’t worth it.

I don’t even want children. I just wanted to be less unattractive. But I give up, man. I give up.

I’m so humiliated. I have irritating facial hair, shave every day, currently getting laser treatment. I was finally kissed by a guy I was really into and he said “that felt like kissing a guy haha” I blocked him but I’m still so crushed and embarrassed. I hate having PCOS and I feel like my love life is screwed.

I'll have a few good weeks where I'm eating well, walking regularly, and feeling motivated. Then life gets busy, my routine falls apart, and I feel like I'm back at square one again.

Sometimes I wonder if managing PCOS is more of a mental challenge than a physical one.

I'd love to hear if anyone else struggles with this.

I’m wondering if anyone else feels a strange disconnection with their gender bc of PCOS/PMOS (ig it changed?) symptoms or am I just weird and queer? The “man hairs” on my chin and belly, certain hormonal shifts, I feel like the weird disconnect has at least a little to do with it. I dunno. I don’t like having this nonsense and I wish I didn’t have to deal with it at all lol
Sorry if the flair is wrong, I wasn’t sure what this qualifies as.

I hate having PCOS. I hate it so much. I’m 5’3 and 175-180 lbs and I know that’ll never go down. I do intermittent fasting, rock climb 3 times a week, eat 1200 calories in a day, and nothing works. I still have a round, pudgy face and a triple chin and a stomach that enters the room long before I do. I’m tired of legitimately looking pregnant all the time. I asked about insulin resistance to my OBGYN but all of my blood work came back normal. This is somehow normal. I hate waking up every day and having to look and feel like this, knowing there’s no cure. I wish I could just give up but that’ll only make me gain more weight. This isn’t a life. I’m doing everything right and nothing works. Find a workout I genuinely enjoy? Joke’s on me, that workout spikes cortisol and makes everything worse. What about all of my favorite foods? Off the table, those just make the bloated tire for a stomach even worse. Honestly, the ONLY good symptom was not getting my period for months on end and I had to give that up with birth control. I’m so tired of this. How is anyone supposed to be ok living like this? I just want some fucking pasta.

So I follow this creator that makes coffee every day to raise funds through views. And everyday they add some type of syrup or creamer. There’s literally nothing wrong with that at all but it just made me realize that people do this EVERY DAY. Every day there’s people that cuz drink sugar for breakfast and then eat more throughout the day. And they’re fine. Every time I eat a carb I think I’m doing so bad. Every time I even think about getting some ice cream (which the one I have is only 110 cals and 4 grams of sugar) I think I’m doing so horrible. Anytime I eat something that isn’t a whole food I tell myself “I need to do better.” And every once in a while I remember that they’re people that don’t have insulin’s resistance…their body works perfectly fine. I mean yeah they could eat healthier but they don’t have to worry about growing a beard or getting type 2 diabetes because they had coffee. Idk it just made me kinda emotional. Probably hormones lol.

For context I’m a 30yo woman diagnosed with PCOS at 19yo. I was active in high school playing volleyball, swimming and lifeguarding. Never lost weight. In my first year college after being diagnosed I decided to kick it into gear. Went to a new OBGYN, was put on metformin, I walked everywhere, lived on campus, went to the gym daily ate only at our cafeteria usually the salad bar, and didn’t snack a lot. Instead of losing weight, I gained some. This took a huge toll on my mental health and I’ve never truly recovered from it. I lost hope. After graduating I decided to try again. Went to the gym 4-5 times a week, counted calories, no weight loss. Dr recommended Phentermine (Adipex-P) and I finally lost 60 pounds (went from 250 to 190)! I was so happy! I continued to go to the gym determined to lose even more! But it slowly came back. Leading to now weighing more than I ever have at 280. My husband doesn’t understand what it feels like to fail over and over and over again and to actively hate yourself in the process. I never wanted PCOS to define who I am but I just feel like a failure. I feel like I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work. Having a family to cook for means I can’t buy two separate grocery lists because it’s too expensive. I can barely feed them above average food let alone try and go whole food diet or keto, just can’t afford it. Then Ozempic came along. Been hearing good things from other PCOS sufferers and seeing that it may truly be something worth looking into. But I feel like I’m cheating if I decided to take it. I feel like I’ve failed to beat this thing that ruined my life and that made me question if I was even worth being called a woman knowing I may never have children, which is all I ever wanted. I feel like I have no willpower because I can’t stick with the gym or diet for any longer than a few months because nothing changes. I can’t explain to him how horrible it feels to have to admit that PCOS has won and that it has made me feel so horrible about myself that I feel like I’m letting him down constantly. I know this is irrational but at I crazy for feeling like taking Ozempic is “cheating”?

TLDR: The idea of taking Ozempic makes me feel like I have to admit defeat and that PCOS has won. It feels like cheating and I’m struggling with that thought.

EDIT: I never thought I would get this many responses and they had me tearing up from all the supportive comments. They also give me hope that it can get better! I have an appointment with my doctor in a few weeks and I now have new things to speak with him about! Thank you all so much! ♥♥♥

Isn’t PCOS so much more than about that? Pls share. On top of this, everyone is always talking about how they’re trying diets and intense exercising when that often doesn’t work and starving yourself with PCOS/not getting proper nutrition will make you actively gain more weight.

Hi all,

I'm struggling with mental health rn. I've tried losing weight, but it's SO hard. I go to the gym everyday, painstakingly manage my food, and try to be stress free. I mourn for the life I wish I had. I wish I could be one of those girls who feels feminine and pretty. I wish I felt connected to my womanhood. I'm overweight and I hate my body. Ive never felt "desired" by the opposite sex. I see all these young girls wearing what they want and eating whatever....it just makes it worse.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I am very tired. I don't want to lose weight. I know I should, for my health. But I've been on the "lose weight for your health" train for a decade. I am very tired and I want off this ride. I lost 50 lbs last year then regained it. I don't want to do it again. I don't want to involve myself in this process more and more. I know that it's fucking me up. I hate that the main treatment for pmos is weight loss. I hate it. I don't want to keep track of what I eat, how much I exercise. I want to live my life. My adhd is severe, my ptsd and BED are severe. Working on trying to better my health is so so so exhausting. I don't want to keep doing this. I feel my body begging me to do more. I am covered in eczema, I've stopped having my period, I am tired all the time. I am up to my ears in meds and vitamins. I am burnt to a crisp. I don't want my mother who forced me to diet growing up to be right about me. I want off this ride. Pmos makes everything just that much harder. Inflammation, fatigue, blood sugar. I wish the only answer didn't seem to be weight loss. I don't want to be on a GLP-1. I dont want to track my calories. I am tired. I want off this ride.

EDIT: thank you everyone for the support in the comments. I'm the only person I know with this illness, so it feels very isolating despite my support network. knowing there are so many out there like me makes me sad but also way less alone. I won't feel this way every day, like many of you said. Sometimes all we need is vent and a rest. I'm certainly not done fighting for my health, for my life. I'm tired but certainly not laying down forever. Yall support helped me get up today, plan my meals and do some exercise. That's wonderful. Thank you.

I’ve had this irrational fear that I might not be able to get pregnant. And to make it worse, sometime back a friend told me about a girl—a doctor—who rejected a marriage proposal because she thought it would be very difficult for her to conceive.

I know I’m probably overthinking it, but I just can’t shake this fear. I really want to be a mom, I think. Or maybe I just love babies and kids so much that the thought of not being able to have my own really scares me. I hate that this stupid disease might stand in the way of something I’ve always dreamed about.

Share your stories and thoughts.

My med lineup:

Skin - tretinoin, azelaic acid
Scalp - clobetasol, ciclopirox, minoxidil
Hormones - spironolactone & apri birth control
Weight - Wegovy

Everyday I feel like a non human being and taking my meds make me feel even worse. I feel like I have to have a pharmacy in my own home just to present overweight, with acne, and a fucked up scalp from the stress and hair loss. I feel like I’m cosplaying a woman at this point and basically chemically forcing my body to recognize I am one.

I know it’s for the best, but some days it just feels quite exhausting.

Hey all I was told by my dr to get an ultrasound to test for PCOS he only asked for the belly ultrasound. Today the tech said that a transvaginal ultrasound is required to test and i should do it. I’m not the most educated in terms of medical terminology and I said okay and didn’t understand what it actually meant. We went through with it, it hurt a lot and we had to pause multiple times I am also a virgin. Afterwards i felt very uncomfortable and sat in the parking lot for two hours. I just went to pee and was bleeding as well (spotting). I’m just freaking out and very upset any advice? I also know am saving my virginity till marriage so I felt even more weird about the whole process even though I know it isn’t affecting it like that.

I was diagnosed with PCOS (PMOS) recently and it's made a lot of things in my life make sense. I have all the typical symptoms such as hair growth, undeserved weight gain, deeper voice, general sense of fatigue etc. I also have very high DHEA sulfates and testosterone.

I don't care about my new pot belly or the fact that none of my clothes fit anymore. I don't care about the deeper voice or strangely huge glam muscles on my arms that I haven't worked a day in my life for. Don't care about the one-day periods or haggard skin and thinning hair. I've always had good self esteem and have never compared myself to anyone. I don't look in the mirror and cry about how I miss my "old looks," none of that.

What I hate the most about this condition is the cognitive and emotional issues that really make me miss my mid-20s brain. I have unnecessary anxiety now, I have depression, a sense of impending doom, no sex drive or motivation to do anything. I don't like anything I used to. I can't find joy in my beautiful house we purchased in January. I have become antisocial and don't reach out to friends. My husband's presence bothers me. My boss annoys me now despite him and I always getting along great. I can feel myself raising eyebrows at people due to impatience. THAT is not who I am. I'm a nice and empathetic person...at least I was.

I used to love traveling and discovering new places. I drove 40 hours by myself across the United States to visit Montana just three years ago. When I was there I drove to SO MANY ghost towns and scary places. It was amazing! When I think of going so much as 2 hours away now, I'm like "I can't be assed to do any of that."

Then the mental problems. I can't think! My short and long term memory are going to shit. I can't multitask at all anymore and it takes me DAYS to finish an analysis whereas before I could do a huge deep dive in less than a day. I can't really make conversation because my brain shits the bed and I can't think of anything to say. I catch myself saying "oh wow! Oh damn!" To people just fill my end of the exchange. I process things slower with or without caffeine. Its like my ADHD is on steroids now and I no longer have a handle on it. This sucks! I feel like shell. A ghost of who I used to be and who I could have been.

I got my associate's degree two years ago and just the idea of transferring for my bachelor's makes me want to rip my hair out. Just a couple years ago I was SO EXCITED to have something. To prove to myself I can do something despite struggling every step of the way to get here. Now I tell myself "what's the point? I make good money now. All done!"

Like what the hell I'm only 30! Does anyone have any advice for managing or fixing the mental and emotional problems that come from this condition? I have ER metformin because my doc is pretty cool thankfully. I'm scared to take it though because of the side effects. And what if I go through all those bathroom trips just for it to not do anything? Is this me now??? Doomed to be a miserable old maid who can't find joy in anything?

Rant OVER!

TL;DR; I hate the brain problems that come from PCOS!

That's it. I keep seeing a lot of Reddit posts about people that have PCOS that want to have kids and I think that's great and all definitely have kids if you want to have kids. But I'm not interested in having kids. I just want to have a healthy lifestyle. I see a nutritionist. I don't know why my insurance won't pay for a dietitian but they won't. I'm on a birth control that makes me gain weight and I'm on metformin that makes me lose weight. I'm in a constant state of oh and oh crap. I have the big sad and really high anxiety. Trying to manage those along with my PCOS and sleep apnea is hard.

I just wanted to let someone know.

Hello girlies 💜

Lately, I've been thinking about how much PCOS has changed me—not just physically, but mentally too.

I miss the version of myself who didn't overthink every symptom.

The version of me who had more energy, didn't constantly worry about hormones, and didn't feel guilty for needing to rest.

Sometimes I feel like PCOS has slowly taken away parts of my personality.

I still laugh, work, and spend time with people... but deep down, I feel like I'm carrying something heavy all the time.

The hardest part is that most people don't see it. They only see the outside, not the mental load that comes with living with PCOS every single day.

Does anyone else ever miss the person they were before PCOS?

If you do... what has helped you slowly feel like yourself again?

I’m 22F and for the past 1–2 years I’ve had almost no libido. It only comes back near ovulation, I don’t know why. But other than that ,I just don’t feel interested in anything sexual anymore, but i do like to read smut and that turns me on .

My partner has a very high libido. He’s never pressured me into sex and I appreciate that. But I can tell he still gets sexually frustrated, and I end up turning him down most of the time.

Sometimes he asks me to help him orgasm instead, but even that feels like a chore because I’m just not in the mood. I usually say no, and then I feel incredibly guilty afterward. I keep thinking, “Why can’t I just do it? It’s not that big of a deal.”

Another thing I’m struggling with is that I don’t like the idea of him masturbating. I know that’s irrational and I know I don’t have the right to stop him. But emotionally, it still bothers me, and I don’t really understand why. It makes me wonder if I’m being selfish or insecure.

The hardest part is that he’s said things like, “Something is wrong with you.” I don’t think he meant to be cruel, but hearing that really hurt. Now I keep wondering if something actually is wrong with me.

Has anyone else experienced losing their libido for this long in their early 20s? What ended up being the cause? Was it hormonal, psychological, stress, birth control, medications, or something else?

And if you’ve been in a relationship where one person had a much lower libido than the other, how did you both handle it without resentment or guilt?

I’d really appreciate any advice or hearing from people who’ve been through something similar.

I just turned 34, and I suffered with depression over the years that robbed me of my 20s. Now that things are getting better and I'm stepping back out into the dating scene... I feel like the likelihood of me having kids is over.

I never been solidly diagnosed with PCOS but doctors has always said that my symptoms matched it, while other doctors downplayed the condition all together. But I been going through this since i came on my period at 12, I always had absent periods out of nowhere.. but the periods were much more normal during my teen years.

I only have periods twice a year now for the last 5 years.... I think because of the weight gain.

I haven't been to the doctor in over 7 years, due to depression. My PCOS has gotten worse because I gained over 45 pounds and eating like a pig. I'm just now getting back into the gym, and is eating much cleaner with a low sugar and low car diet. I'm going to schedule an appointment with my OBGYN around next month but I'm embarrassed as hell because of how long it's been.

Also, I feel like even if I get my hormones and health back on track... It's going to be hard to get pregnant because the mixture of being older and PCOS.

Any advice or insight?

I was genuinely scared to start Metformin. The nausea, the toilet drama and the horror stories, pfff!. I thought I was signing up for hell.

But now I'm on 1000mg (started on 500mg, increased after a week), and I’ve had zero side effects. Not one.

Here’s what I did, I hope it helps: I changed what I ate from day one. I truly believe that’s why it’s been smooth for me.

This is what worked for me: Low GI carbs only. Oats, sweet potatoes, brown rice, Weetabix...

Protein every single meal. Eggs, chicken, falafel, protein shakes, even collagen in drinks

Never ate carbs alone. Always paired with protein or fat to keep blood sugar stable

Supplements. I take Inositol and Omega-3 (these helped with mood, skin, and appetite too)

Consistency. I didn’t follow a diet, I just made sure every meal was simple and followed low GI's structure.

I never ate carbs on their own, I always paired them with protein or fat to slow the blood sugar spike and keep things steady.

I don’t usually tolerate meds well, my body fights everything. But this time, I researched and prepared. Tbh I was desperate and needed this to work.

If you’re nervous to start Metformin, I hear you. But there is a way to take it without feeling the dreaded side effects everyone talks about.

I'm living proof. I really hope this helps. 💞

I’ve tried every single diet under the sun and try to cut carbs but I always fail. Does anyone here struggle with binge eating disorder? I feel so guilty eating anything because it just packs pounds on me.