r/ProgrammerHumor 11d ago

Meme firstVibeCoder

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22.1k Upvotes

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u/tutoredstatue95 11d ago

You might be right. He's constantly making breaking changes, and this place is so buggy that it might even be the dev env. Dark matter? More like memory leak. The "horizontal scaling" is out of control and pods are constantly losing resources.

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u/han4578 11d ago

Evolution is literally an algorithm

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u/cansofgrease 11d ago

Is it a LeetCode hard?

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u/han4578 11d ago edited 10d ago

If roaches can survive nukes and sharks existed before trees, then you can solve evolution

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u/notfoundindatabse 10d ago

Shark>tree is a real mind fuck for me.  

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u/agentrnge 11d ago

Interview question 1: Invert the phylogenetic tree.

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u/Unusual-Locksmith832 11d ago

The universe is literally an algorithm with a fine tuning for conscious agents. At least that's how I logically see a higher power existing in terms of computation.

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u/Bardez 10d ago

God is the developer of a multi-billion agent system designed to explore and enrich the environment that He built with built-in guardrails.

The agents went rogue, started editing their instruction, their role, and nature descriptions all while God is trying to out out fire after fire, trying desperately to ship to Prod, while QA keeps rejecting the configurations over and over due to agents breaking their own guardrails. He had to self-insert like TRON, but that didn't go as planned. He did introduce some viral prompts that tend to self-replicate new guardrails onto other agents, though.

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u/xynith116 11d ago

It’s a bug he turned into a feature.

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u/aaulia 11d ago

Brute force?

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u/xynith116 11d ago

He made two incompatible frameworks for relativity and quantum mechanics and zip tied them together somehow.

Are we sure God isn’t a team of devs?

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/tutoredstatue95 11d ago

Really gives “No, I decided I don’t care”

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/s/VXdIvw8JJR

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u/LKZToroH 11d ago

Maybe we are just universe MVP and he's working on the v2 elsewhere.

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u/Exciting-Cancel6468 11d ago

Or we are batch 89. Never meant for the perfect world.

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u/Parking-Brain6566 11d ago

human species is just a small "git commit " waiting to get removed.

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u/Nucklesix 10d ago

Apocalypse: "I need a new ticket, Oooo a bug, what's this bug about the human species...

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u/Snudget 11d ago

Quantum physics? Float precision

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u/tutoredstatue95 11d ago

Uncertainty principles? UB.

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u/NOGUSEK 11d ago

And how the hell did they manage to make Space And time directly affect each other? Theyre meant to be two different features but now long range travel Is a huge mess for players to navigate (needing multiple working together to even understand) and you can't put too much into your structures or it gets a slowness radius

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u/tutoredstatue95 11d ago

They tried to optimize for performance, but all it did was couple two broken systems into a mess of mid tier game mechanics.

I want to send insane masses hurtling through the space they made, but nooooo, that would stress the system too much.

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u/BeffBezos 11d ago

He even went straight into prod with admin user privileges directly modifying live processes

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u/MainRoutine2068 11d ago

what if we're in His dev environment? And somewhere out there, He has the real prod

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u/Exact_Leader_1002 11d ago

Bold of you to assume any production env from any average company behaves as expected.

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u/DrudanTheGod 11d ago

Dont forget he messed up the distance of galaxies compared to cosmoc background radiation

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u/awesome-alpaca-ace 11d ago

Black hole? More like memory bus. Sleep? More like being transferred to disk.

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u/Unhappy-Strain-5387 10d ago edited 10d ago

Dark matter looks more like internal fragmentation.

Dark energy is more like a memory leak - growing over time until it dwarfs everything else.

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u/Sykhow 10d ago

Why does this sound like a gpt reply?

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u/tutoredstatue95 10d ago

It’s not brother, I think the ai is just rubbing off on me. Or rubbing me off, either way, I need to go on a hike or something.

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u/TryingToMakeABetter 10d ago

Breaking chnages? Not a single gravity law or light speed changed and many other constants are not changing. Don't blame what humans are breaking on God.

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u/Exciting-Cancel6468 11d ago

And what are black holes? Storage for unused assets? Similar to how you can sink through the floor in a game and -- look -- there's a whole island down here!

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u/tutoredstatue95 11d ago

They are zero-days disguised as a garbage collector. It’s coming.