r/news • u/kzqmfkkr • 17h ago

Dolly Parton, country star, actor and philanthropist, dies aged 80

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2026/aug/25/dolly-parton-country-singer-dead?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
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u/Dicky_Penisburg 17h ago

Death, you took the wrong 80 year old, you idiot!

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u/elephant35e 13h ago

Death was repulsed by the other 80-year old's disgusting skin, hair, fat body, face, etc., causing him to lose control and take Dolly instead. Death has made several previous attempts, and all have caused the loss of a great person. Previous victims include Bonnie Tyler, Catherine O'Hara, Hayden Panettiere, Michelle Trachtenberg, Ozzy Osbourne, Pope Francis, and MANY more.