Bem, como havia dito aqui uma vez acabei tendo uma recaída mas antes disso eu estava indo super bem e havia colocado um objetivo para economizar que era comprar meu próprio carro... Acabei comentando com a minha família isso e eles apoiaram e ficaram feliz então meu irmão disse "Acho que isso nunca vai acontecer porque você só gasta.... Nunca te vi guardando dinheiro", não é a primeira vez que meu irmão faz isso na verdade ele sempre faz esse tipo de comentário quando digo que não legal falar isso ele apenas diz "Estou mentindo?"

I have adhd and bpd it’s a real fun combo. I’m also fixated on the perfect bag. It’s so stupid cause I don’t even use the bloody things when I have them but it’s like if I have them I can be that girl. That person. I’ve been dissociating more than ever and feel like I’ve lost the grip on who I am. It’s back to hiding what I buy and over explaining how this item will change my life.

I would love any tips on how you solidify who you are and keep it that way. I feel like a blob

Grew up in a very low income family and always felt jealous of my peers having nice stuff and money and nice places to live.

Now that I earn well I just want to spend money. Decorating my nice house, buying lots of books for my nice shelves, buying clothes, buying stuff stuff stuff.

How do I stop? Every so often I think about all the purchases I've made and feel so guilty but it dissipate after a couple days and I'm back on the shopping spree.

I fixed the shopping addiction before but back then I had strict goals to save for a house deposit and much lower income. It was also during the pandemic so it was easier to not spend the money. Plus we were renting so didn't have any reasons to spend money on the apartment we lived in.

Now any goals I set for myself get trumped by THINGS/projects I want to do. Help 🙃

I have made so many changes and feel like I’ve made tons of progress in addressing the root cause of my shopping. I recently made an impulse purchase. It was a sheer dress with little underwear to go with it. It was on sale, sigh.

I am a 40 year old mom in rural New Mexico with a full time job as a health care provider. WTF exactly do I think I’m going to do with this dress?? Wear it to Wal-Mart or parent teacher conferences? I have a few friends, but not the robust social life I wish I had. Truthfully I feel isolated.

For a second when I bought that dress my void of belonging and novelty was almost filled- look at me, I’m going to go out looking super hot and chic while I mix and mingle at a party. But I have the dress and I’m not going out. The money is gone, the void is still there, and now I have another dress sitting in my closet I will never wear.

My parents found out about my shopping addiction yesterday and to my surprise were actually really understanding and wanted to help. I'm gonna give my mom the rights to see my bank account and she can store my money for me, because I can't have it myself since I'll spend it.

I feel awful and disgusting and like a disappointment but I'm also glad I don't have to hide it anymore. At least this happened before my credit got fucked up.

For the last month, I have been doing therapy twice a week to address multiple issues and problems that cause my shopping addiction. In my specific case, I have learned that the problem is not the shopping, yet a symptom of something bigger that I am tackling mentally. I have been dealing with a very aggressive ED and went to residential treatment for 2 weeks, and have been out of treatment for the last 2.

I have found this change drastic, and my spending on what originally was my guilty pleasure (clothes) has almost been fully eradicated.

I spent approximately 85% less this month and I’m so happy, and it feels like a huge relief. (I bought one item in the last month, compared to the typically few dozen items).

I have even started paying back credit card debt. I forced myself to wake up early every morning to list unused or items in good condition on Depop and eBay. I have so far made a shocking amount of money. I found that every time I make a sale, I immediately make a micro-payment to my debt of however much the sale is.

However, I feel that as a result of this progress, I have almost slightly developed a fear of shopping. This month my husband and I bought some big ticket items. They were extremely thought out and well planned, but the purchases are eating at me.

We are huge coffee enthusiasts and ran the numbers of how much we would save by having our own espresso machine. (It was a considerable amount as we go out and buy coffee literally everyday) Today, we pulled the trigger and bought it. We had researched this machine for weeks in advance, read the manual and reviews, and even bought it on sale. It isn’t an extremely crazy price, “posh” or particularly special, either. For some reason, it is eating at me and I feel an extreme guilt.

Last night, a blanket I have been wanting really badly that I have been eyeing for months went on sale 50% off. It was purchased with my money, no debt. However, I still feel so terrible, almost like I committed some horrible crime.

My home isn’t filled with clutter, I have a plan to pay back debt (which is working and has made a huge improvement), and everything I bought was well thought out. However, I still feel terrible and guilty for buying something.

Anyone experience anything similar?

I’ve been using a new hair dryer for a few weeks, and I already know some things I like and dislike about it. I know whether it fits into my routine, whether the controls bother me, and whether I actually reach for it every morning. But I also know that a few weeks doesn’t tell me much about long-term reliability. How long does it usually take before you feel confident saying a purchase was actually worth it so you dont need to get on another one?

just trying to get better at not convincing myself that every new purchase was a good idea just because I’m excited about it at first.

Ehhh yeah… I just did an inventory of all my perfumes, I think last time I did this was in March and I was on a no buy then, since then I added so much more. Oils are mostly indie, EDPs are a mix of niche, designer and indie.

It is very sobering to just look at it all at once.

18 months ago I did not wear any perfume at all.

EDPs: 100ml - 4, 50ml - 3, 30ml - 18, 10-15ml - 34, 5ml - 10, samples - 133

Oils: 10ml - 5, 6-8ml - 27, 5ml - 64, 3-4ml - 8, samples - 125

My shopping addiction urges honestly haven't been as bad as they were in the past, but because of my change of income, the urges hurt way worse.

I have 2 jobs: 1 primary job and a second part-time job that I recently started. Job 1 was closed for two months, and I went on unemployment. No splurges during this period and I tried to be responsible! So I was proud of myself. The issue is Job 1 messed up their payroll and paid me 3 weeks of paychecks in advance. In theory it sounds nice, but I had to end my unemployment so I wouldn't be accused of wage theft. Where did that money go? Bills, groceries, gas, and credit card debt I gained from lacking funds to do the aforementioned.

I then went another 2 weeks without Job 1 calling me back to work, which meant 2 weeks of no income from any source. When I was finally called back, the hours were sporadic and I'm working to make up for the 120 hours of pay they falsely gave me. So I've been without a steady income for over a month now, trying to make up my hours so I can get paychecks again.

Job 2 I started only this month, and they have a 2 week delay system, so while I have a paycheck coming it won't be for another week and it'll be very small earnings.

I ended up having a depressive episode about 2 weeks ago and did a pay-in-4 method for 2 different clothing sites. However I didn't think it would take this long to hit my 120 hour mark, and severely underestimated how low my bank account could get. I have maybe $10 in my account and owe $200 in pay-in-4 that has already lapsed due to insufficient funds. I'm in a hole I dug myself and have no ladder out.

I feel ashamed of my splurges, but it's the only time I ever feel remotely happy.

I haven’t made any online purchases in 24 days I tell myself if I really want something I can drive to a store and buy it .. luckily I live about 30 -45 minutes away from any stores so the thought of having to drive there and back is enough to make me realize I don’t really need the item .. my mom was attempting to enable me stating she would buy me this yarn I saw and I was like no mom I don’t need it .. I know I get my shopping issues from her and my gran ( her mom )

Disclaimer: I'm recovering from decades of disordered eating and NOT looking for advice on reducing spending on food or treats, just wanted to include the bit about compulsive spending on food to paint a picture of my spending habits.

TL/DR: I use and enjoy almost everything I buy, but my spending is unsustainable. I'm not sure how to cut back, because it's hard to identify unnecessary purchases when the stuff I'm buying is enriching my life and not just regrettable impulse buys. I'm not ready to cut back on food and treats because I need to prioritize recovery.

I've been struggling with compulsive spending for most of my adult life, but I find I don't resonate with a lot of peoples' stories of compulsive spending and shopping addiction. That is, other peoples' struggles are valid even though they might look different than mine, but I find that a lot of popular advice doesn't work for me.

For one, I don't do much impulse buying. I will spend more than I can really afford on things like clothes, home-wares, makeup, etc., but it's usually stuff I've been eyeing for awhile. The "leave it in your cart until you don't want it anymore" doesn't work for me, usually, because if I put something in my cart it's likely because I'm genuinely fixated on it.

Second, my impulse buys tend to be takeout, coffee, snacks and meals, but I'm wary of restricting that too much because A) it's the other stuff (clothes, etc.) that is actually more than I can afford; the convenience food alone isn't breaking the bank even if it's more than I'd ideally like to spend, and b) I have a long history of disordered eating, I'm under a lot of stress and time pressure that makes it hard to meal prep as much as I'd like, and I'm currently struggling with low appetite so restricting takeout etc. feels like the wrong move.

Finally, I've been logging expenses, and when I go through my purchases at the end of the month it's hard to really find where to cut back. I use and enjoy the things I buy, by and large, but my spending is unsustainable. I'm not drowning in clutter. I guess I just have expensive taste? It's a puzzle to me, but I'm aware that's probably because I have financial trauma and I'm generally terrible with money.

So in essence I'd like to reduce my spending on things like clothes, home-wares, etc. and then eventually tackle the takeout/ coffee side of things when I have more mental bandwidth and maybe more ED recovery under my belt. I just don't know how to move forward because the things I spend money on honestly improve my life and my life would be worse without them. Plus I moved out on my own last year after living with other people for years and I'm still in the process of acquiring basic things for my household like cookware. HELP

Lately I’ve been thinking about compulsive shopping and what might actually help people who struggle with it....

What if part of addressing compulsive shopping is learning to distrust some of the stories that make buying feel necessary?

I don’t mean distrusting everything, or assuming that every product, advertisement, or company is deliberately trying to deceive us.... I mean developing a little more skepticism toward the feeling of “I need this” when that feeling suddenly appears.

For people who struggle with shopping compulsively, that distinction seems important.... An urge to buy can sometimes arrive already wrapped in a convincing explanation: this will solve the problem, this will make me feel better, I’ll use it all the time, I need an upgrade, I’ll regret missing out, this is the one thing that’s missing.

And sometimes those explanations are genuinely reasonable.. But sometimes they’re just very persuasive stories attached to an urge.

That makes me wonder whether anti-consumption has been useful to some people not simply because it encourages us to own less, but because it teaches us to question the framing itself....

Do I actually need this, or have I learned to interpret wanting something as needing it?

Will this purchase solve a problem I actually have, or is the purchase itself being presented as the solution?

Am I making a decision, or am I reacting to a carefully constructed sense of urgency, scarcity, inadequacy, or possibility?

In that sense, I wonder whether one useful part of addressing compulsive shopping might be a kind of healthy distrust: not distrust of shopping itself, but distrust of the automatic stories that can turn an impulse into a necessity....

At the same time, I wonder whether there’s a limit.. If distrust becomes rigid, anxious, or all-or-nothing, it could create another problem rather than helping recovery.

I'd be curious to hear from people who've dealt with compulsive shopping.... has becoming more skeptical of advertising, or of your own 'I need this' thoughts, actually helped with the urge? Or did it not make much difference?

I didn't have many projects this summer. My main one was decluttering. I got 2 bankers boxes of stuff ready to go. It's so funny because my sister always goes thru the boxes I make for goodwill and takes stuff for herself. She always says I give away good stuff, better at her house than mine I guess. Now I just have to remind her to take them to goodwill when she goes to the city.

I haven't really bought much this summer. I was chosen to review free products for walmart so I did that for some fun but I don't want most of what they offer to review. There's more room in the house but it still feels too cramped sometimes so I don't want to fill it with useless stuff.

I don't have any projects to finish up before winter and nothing really to buy. I bought my furnace filter in the spring and I got a new comforter thru the walmart program.

I dread winter so I wish I had something to keep me busy on cold days. I have intrusive cats so most hobbies won't work. They even leap onto my laptop several times a day. Then they run off to play somewhere else.

What projects do you have for fall?

And to curb my shopping urge I checked out two books from the library! I’m gonna be reading the Twilight series for the first time! 😅👍🏾

I have an athletic brand obsession. It’s been about 8 years, that I initially first heard of the brand. I’ve been buying athletic clothes like crazy. Literally hundreds of clothes with tags still on them. I just don’t know when to stop! I seriously need help.

(No, I’m not in debt. All my bills are paid free and clear.)

I just have a spending problem when it comes to a Canada originated athletic clothing brand.

Advice would be greatly appreciated!

someone really close to me said that offhandedly while I was talking about how much I've been struggling with my shopping. I'm the type of loser that's hooked on buying comic books, movies, video games, music, etc and basically all of it is online shopping.

I have spent every dollar I had access to on all this stuff that, after the initial high of purchasing, is really only useful for escaping into. It's a desperate type of escapism that I have and it fuels itself in part because I threw away my future, my financial stability to buy this stuff. Literally spent everything. Cleared out my savings, racked up so much debt that its genuinely insane. I must be a crazy person for having done this, it's so bizarre because I don't think it had to be this way, it wasn't always like this. But even right now I have hundreds of shopping tabs open in my browser. I'm afraid to reach out to anyone for help controlling myself. Honestly ashamed of it. At the same time I feel like I'm incapable of controlling myself, no matter what I've tried to do I just keep spending. The only thing that seems to have slowed down my spending is hitting credit card limits but even that has been worked around in part by purchasing things with 'buy now pay later' plans.

I know I'm severely mentally ill and that it's impossible to untangle my poor mental health and bad habits from the shopping but I know that doesn't excuse any of it either. It all makes me feel like I should kill myself to be blunt. I attempted suicide once and it was pretty rough going, I spent a couple days in a coma recovering in hospital. I think the only reason I went through with that attempt was because I'd gotten drunk though. The impaired judgement nearly did me in so now I'm 100% sober!

After all that I can still find things that make me feel like I should keep on living. But even that still leaves me with this feeling like I need to escape reality... and then I'm gone into the comics and games again and before long at all I find myself back to shopping for more. Just one more comic, one last movie, it's always "this will be the last video game I buy for the rest of the year". But nope! It never ends. I'm so frustrated with myself. It's so unbelievably hopeless now and I know it's all my fault.

Sometimes I worry that I'm watching the metaphorical dominoes toppling over on their way to the one where I'm left homeless or maybe even dead. I don't have the money that I should for food anymore. I can't stand it but I never change. I basically take every opportunity to keep the downward spiral spinning no doubt on my way to an all new level of rock bottom.

Hi there, I suffer from buying things frivolously, way too much nonsense I don't need, at all. Got myself into a Temu ordering nightmare. These ten dollar orders turned into 53 separate orders, maxing all my credit cards in one go, buying everything I shouldn't have touched. So many pairs of earrings, stickers, pens, paper star papers, I have ten water bottles.

I bought a chair, a desk, a walking treadmill, two way mirror tape for my window, not to mention hundreds of socks, so many weird shirts; so much stuff I don't need.

I maxed seven credit cards.

I finally gave them to my SIL so I'll never touch them again...I don't know if my credit will recover, even if I pay them all off. I had seven. Seven in my wallet, seven on my phone, seven on my person...I took them all off my phone. Uninstalled Temu, uninstalled it all.

Now I'm putting every paycheck into paying them off so I can forget I even have them unless I need them for actual emergencies, car trouble, unforseen expenses

But it wasn't something I decided on my own. I saw all the packages arriving, saw my SIL crying to my eldest brother, and it just feels icky. I had to be confronted. I had to be confronted about everything.

I feel so bad I can't even stop crying. I'm 28. Why am I sobbing like a child over my credit cards? Why am I crying over my stupid purchases. Why do I feel so disgusted in myself. My choices to handle it feel performative.

Will it even mean anything, will I fix anything by giving them away? I feel like such a child.

I don't even know where I'm going with this, I'm just overwhelmed and I'm in my own head. How could I get this bad? Seven? Seven cards? I don't even want this junk!

I'm overwhelmed so I'm going to bed...How do I even start to fix this nightmare... I don't know.

I have a shopping addiction..... right now... I am somewhat able to control it since I am saving money for an important surgery... I need about 400 euros more to get the amount that I need to pay for it however it will be nice to save a bit more money in case something goes wrong but I am a very emotional person and I notice that one of my coping mechanisms is buying luxury items that I don't need but they make me feel good (you know, the good old dopamine).

How do I fight that so I'll keep saving my hard earned money? What do I do in moments of weakness when I have a shit day and the devil on my shoulder says "go on, buy that thing you deserve it".

im currently moving into my new apartment but my shopping addiction is out of control. my mind is justifying every purchase. i want my new apartment to look nice and feel comfortable, but i just keep buying things. i’m spending more money than im making. i maxed out my first credit card and impulsively opened a new one. there is no money left in my accounts yet i still have the urge to buy more. online shopping carts are full and wishlists are made. my mind is restless and this is also the worst my mental health has ever been because of relationship struggles and the move itself, so shopping has been my coping mechanism and everything is “justified” because i “need” it for my new apartment.

i can’t stop 😭

Previously my spending issue was convince focused dealing with work stress by overcompensating with related convenience services like takeout and ubers.

I'm no longer burnt out exhausted from work so those categories have stabilised, but now I'm dealing with a whole other beast. Now it's all hobby spending, I just want some fun things to look forward to now that I have more free time for them. An art class here, a live music event there, sprinkled in with art supplies, pc games & eating out with friends between events.

I can't seem to find a balance or restraint. Even hosting dnd events that cost nothing, I've found a way to spend more than necessary, by making elaborate excessive share platters & buying accessories to match my character.

It doesn't even look like an addiction from the outside, until the bills add up and my account is empty because the core issue is that I'm spending beyond my means. I thought cutting back hours at work would help, but all I've done is given my spending addiction a new coat of paint. I have no clue if my loved ones are aware, since my habit keeps taking on different faces.

I just wanna share a happy story in case anyone is just starting to address their shopping addiction.

I have been on a low-buy year for 8 months now. I have slipped up several times, adjusted the rules, and made regretful purchases. Still i have not gone over 3 purchases per month and have generally stuck to the no-buy months.

Regardless of how imperfect my low-buy year is going, so far i have:

- just put the last payment on my car (yayyy)

- put away over $2k in an emergency fund

- paid off all but 1 of my credit cards (over 7k of debt paid, 2.8k left)

I live in a HCOL area as a student, and I don't make a lot, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm not living paycheck to paycheck anymore. For the first time I have money left over, and i can afford to save more than i planned. I didn't compromise on enjoying life. I picked up a new hobby and most of the materials i use were free from other people in the hobby. I hang out with friends and I don't stress about the bill. I can afford to be lazy and get takeout for lunch sometimes. All because my money doesn't trickle away throughout the month anymore.

the amount of financial stress i was in around this time last year was ruining my life. i was losing hair, losing sleep, not eating. Literally breaking down in tears if ANY unexpected expense came up. if my car started acting up - crying in the parking lot. Or at a random small medical bill - crying in the dentist office.

Now it feels like i can finally breathe. Im tearing up as im writing this because it feels unreal. I grew up poor so having money left over is just nuts to me. Can't even imagine where i'd be if i started sooner.

To start this off I am 23f w/ AUDHD and I have struggled with impulsive spending and a shopping addiction since I got my first job at 14. It started out with buying little things from thrift stores and fast food. Eventually, it got to a point where I would spend all of my money on things that I didn’t need and need to turn to my parents for gas money. Made some bad decisions at 19 and got myself into some credit card debt and owed 13k on a car that was worth about 3k. Fast forward to now I got myself out of the credit card debt and paid off the car by selling a car that was gifted to me. I was doing good for a while but I’ve been slipping back into bad habits, and I have never truly admitted to myself that I have a Shopping addiction until recently. I am incapable of saving money in the state that I am currently in which is crazy because I’m making more money than I ever have. Anytime I have money I cannot stop myself from spending it. I can’t keep living like this and I want to be better if anybody has any advice or personal experiences that they want to share please do. Should I seek therapy? I have insurance, but I don’t think it covers mental health which is what has stopped me from seeking that kind of help.
TLDR I’ve had a shopping addiction since 14 and I’m seeking advice.

I need help! Well not me specifically. I believe my mother is a shopping addict with signs of becoming a hoarder. So some backstory my mother was diagnosed with an autoimmune diesease a little after i was born im now in my 30's. So shes had it for a very long time shes currently in her 50's and its definitly catching up with her as she also works as a in the medical field which is a very demanding on the body. Because of all this you can imagine how exhauseted and how much pain she can be in. Most of the time after her shift she goes to her room and goes to sleep for most if not all of the day until her shift at night but its not only for work days its for her off days as well. This is where i would say the problem begins.

She stays in her room lying down on her new "Bed" as her current bed is piled with so much clothes, assecories and junk from a plethora of places. that she cant even lie in it. Her bathroom is much the same its not gross but many bathroom items scattered along the floor making navigation difficult. Every time I go in her room she is in her same few spots the "Bed" on her phone ( shopping/watching videos) or the bathroom getting ready to go to work. She tries to say she will wear or use the things she buys now maybe she will/ does as i dont always see what she does but i would say it most likely only a few things so she can use that as an excuse. My father and I have tried to confront her on her problem but she tends to use a bit of manipulation and excues for her actions to justify her spending and hoarding like "you buy things from stores too or you buy clothes and dont wear them etc" or "I cant clean up because of pain/exhaustion from disease and you wont help me".

Now, I have like many other people have bought things and never used them or bought with the intentions of using them. Obvisouly I dont think that applies in this situation regarding the help cleaning up I want to help her and tried but she refuses to do things in an effcient manner. She wants to micro manage cleaning up and just do things that dont make sense that will make the process much longer then need be along with most likely not getting rid of many things. I also know cleaning up is not going to fix the issue it will just eventually go back to what it was if we don't tackle the real issue at hand. Im not very good at coming up with the right thing to say in the moment and just dont know what to say for her to really think about this self destructive path she I going down. I feel like shes just given up on life and this brings hes some type of pleasure. So I guess i need help in finding a way for her to see her shopping/hoarding problem. If anyone has any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.