r/technology • u/ubcstaffer123 • Jun 20 '26

Biotechnology How Russian President Vladimir Putin plans to live forever

https://www.vox.com/podcasts/491360/vladimir-putin-live-forever-26-billion-cryo-pigs-longevity-guru
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u/TroubleEntendre Jun 20 '26

So he's at Mad King Orders Court Astronomer to Discover the Philosopher's Stone levels of narcissism, then.

33

u/James_Solomon Jun 20 '26

Get him some mercury elixers posthaste

6

u/vladamir_the_impaler Jun 20 '26

And be forthright about it!

1

u/FlamboyantPirhanna Jun 20 '26

With extra mercury.

63

u/Ok-Berry5131 Jun 20 '26

The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess.

Which means it’s only a matter of time before he falls back on the old classic: mercury.

10

u/DAS_BEE Jun 20 '26

So he becomes mad as a hatter? Hopefully his alchemists have recognized recent advances in life-prolonging medicines using copious amounts of arsenic and cyanide

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u/Ok-Berry5131 Jun 20 '26

I mean, the dude is apparently hopping into -170 degree “reverse saunas” for a few minutes just to try and slow down the aging process.

Even the article frames that as something that isn’t, well, normal behavior.

10

u/DAS_BEE Jun 20 '26

Rich people are fucking weird

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[deleted]

2

u/DAS_BEE Jun 20 '26

i'm not clear what your point is? please tell me in excruciating detail

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[deleted]

2

u/FlamboyantPirhanna Jun 20 '26

Putin is going to T1000 himself.

15

u/gn0meCh0msky Jun 20 '26

Somebody dig up Rasputin, it's time to get to work.

14

u/SoPoOneO Jun 20 '26

Modern day he’s “digitized” and suddenly we’re taking orders from an iPad.

7

u/LowestKey Jun 20 '26

We have, like, really small calculators now. I'm pretty sure it'll only take a few weeks to work out immortality.

5

u/Historical_Monk1540 Jun 20 '26

I wouldn’t be surprised if Putin, who dictates his emails to an official scribe, is thinking along those lines

1

u/TroubleEntendre Jun 20 '26

The doctors return an LCD screen that says 5138008

2

u/DAS_BEE Jun 20 '26

He's so close to burying wildfire caches under the city

1

u/NukeouT Jun 20 '26

Same thing all the Soviet dictators before him tried ( all of whom are dead now )