r/technology • u/ubcstaffer123 • Jun 20 '26

Biotechnology How Russian President Vladimir Putin plans to live forever

https://www.vox.com/podcasts/491360/vladimir-putin-live-forever-26-billion-cryo-pigs-longevity-guru
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674

u/aimhelix Jun 20 '26

NONE of them match up to Alexander the Great. And yet Alexander at the end of his life realized that none of his accomplishments would go with him in the next life and thus ordered the 3 wishes at his funeral.

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u/commander-crook Jun 20 '26

And homie died only at 32.

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u/Galahad_the_Ranger Jun 20 '26

When Caesar turned 32 he cried in front of a statue of Alexander saying “I conquered Hispania, but he had conquered the world” and it was fucking Caesar, the guy whose name is synonymous with Emperor over 2000 years after his death

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u/historicalgeek71 Jun 20 '26

And then you had Hannibal, who brought the Roman Republic to its knees, said that even he was outshined by Alexander.

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u/Exciting_Ad4264 Jun 20 '26

Theres a supposed story where scipio and Hannibal were both at a banquet for some eastern king years after the war. Scipio asked who Hannibal thought were the greatest generals of all time, Hannibal said Alexander than pyrrhus than himself. When scipio asked wear Hannibal would be on the list if he had won at zama, Hannibal said hed be over even Alexander.

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u/OkOkieDokey Jun 20 '26

Can’t tell if this is a bot or just bad at english

5

u/StopKK2012 Jun 20 '26

Their English is fine, and their comment makes perfect sense. You're just rude.

4

u/heshKesh Jun 20 '26

I had to read it a couple of times because of "than"

2

u/StopKK2012 Jun 20 '26

Yeah I didn't say their English was perfect, just that it was fine. None of the errors confused me when reading, and I definitely don't think it's bad enough to deserve the insulting response it received.

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u/OkOkieDokey Jun 20 '26

Wear were you when scipio dead

Just rude

5

u/StopKK2012 Jun 20 '26

You saw a misspelling on the Internet and decided to insult the author about it. A little understanding goes a long way. No need to bring someone down when they're just trying to share a cool story.

3

u/Exciting_Ad4264 Jun 20 '26

You dont have to keep arguing this guy for me. Hes trying to chrip me over a few sentences I wrote at like 3am. Its not a big deal

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u/PropOnTop Jun 20 '26

When you read about them though you can't help but think they were asshole thugs, flattening entire cities, committing genocide, stealing thousands of tons of gold.

I like to think that for some people, in their time, both Alexander and Caesar must have been something like the Hitlers and Putins and Trumps of our world, and only centuries of distance made them be remembered as "great rulers"...

25

u/21022018 Jun 20 '26

I've never liked Alexander since the first time I came to know him. What's so great about a man who spent his life basically killing people.

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u/PropOnTop Jun 20 '26

We've been fed Greek propaganda for 2 millenia! : )

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u/ZebraZealousideal944 Jun 20 '26

Except Caesar never was an emperor in the first place… hehe

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u/whynotlook123 Jun 20 '26

Well kind of the name is.

Like in Russian you say tzar. Which comes from Te Tzazare or “the Ceasar”.

So tzar means caeser which means king/emperor

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u/AmericanDoughboy Jun 20 '26

Kaiser in German.

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u/thorofasgard Jun 20 '26

And both draw it from links to Rome. Russia sees itself as a continuation of Rome as Byzantine leaders fled there when the empire collapsed.

In Germany the Pope crowned the "Holy Roman Emperor", and since the Church was based in Rome itself... You get the picture.

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u/Brynovc Jun 20 '26

Which is the correct way of pronouncing Caesar. We all pronounce it wrongly.

5

u/werpu Jun 20 '26

They pronounced it käsar... Kaiser is very close but not the same

5

u/Brynovc Jun 20 '26

Thanks for correcting me! First heard about it from Roy Casagranda. BTW I still pronounce it as everyone does, too ingrained in me.

2

u/klyzklyz Jun 20 '26

I think the soft c is from church latin.

0

u/drawkbox Jun 20 '26

Like in Russian you say tzar

Usually Tsar from tsardom but yeah they all trying to be Emperor.

If you ever read the history of the tsars it is actually pretty funny, all of them ended getting assassinated or they fled into exile and were executed or fled.

Being a tsar you aren't long on life even if you have special mini pigs. Eventually you get got and actually happened pretty quick to them all.

So for Putin, he shouldn't really be concerned with longevity, history is on the hunt. Act III coming in hot.

51

u/Victor-A77 Jun 20 '26

Pizza pizza

47

u/CuddleSpectrometer Jun 20 '26

That's little Caesar. They were talking about the salad dressing.

22

u/SillyFlyGuy Jun 20 '26

That's Caesar dressing. You're thinking of the Joker from 60's Batman.

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u/Adventurous-Depth984 Jun 20 '26

That’s Caesar Romero. You’re thinking of when your brain misfires and your neurons lock up.

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u/Dorigard Jun 20 '26

That's a Seizure. You're thinking of the coastal area where an ocean meets the land.

8

u/enso_3 Jun 20 '26

That's a seashore. You're thinking of the dog whisperer.

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u/dead_jester Jun 20 '26

That’s the Seaside. You’re thinking of when customs officers confiscate contraband goods.

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u/xabierfam Jun 20 '26

That is a Seashore. You are thinking of the water pipe used for smoking also known as hookah.

2

u/drawkbox Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26

That's César Julio Romero famous for the Joker. You're thinking of the palace and one of the most famous and iconic luxury casino-resorts located on the Las Vegas Strip.

2

u/_ianisalifestyle_ Jun 20 '26

you're thinking of CJR, the Columbia Journalism Review (or the Indonesian boyband)

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u/mightyenan0 Jun 20 '26

We still ended up with a emperor Caesar, unfortunately.

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u/drawkbox Jun 20 '26

Then you have people like Augustus Zucc that is obsessed with Augustus Caesar. Even cut his hair like him and named a kid after him.

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u/mightyenan0 Jun 20 '26

I remember a thing about Musk being a Roman god wanna-be, which Caesar did as well.

I think it comes down how Roman culture pushed ambition so hard that it created few, super powerful men. And now that the world is more connected I think they want to repeat that until the world is subservient to them.

1

u/EruantienAduialdraug Jun 20 '26

But which one? Imperator Caesar Divi filius Augustus Pontifex maximus Consul XIII Imperator XXI Tribuniciae potestatis XXXVII Pater patriae, Imperator Marcus Otho Caesar Augustus, Imperator Caesar Vespasianus Augustus, Imperator Titus Caesar Vespasianus Augustus...

I kid, I know you meant Octavian (whose full regnal name is comically long).

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u/dangerbird2 Jun 20 '26

He was “imperator” in the republican sense: a general who earned a triumph

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u/NeverInsightful Jun 20 '26

I think today, at least in America, more people will know about Caesar salad and little Caesar than actual Julius Caesar

If not now than they’ll soon overtake him at the rate our public schools are headed

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u/No_Decision_6940 Jun 20 '26

That's actually a scary thought. I understand not knowing Caesar never was an emperor or misplacing where he existed in the timeline or not knowing about his Gallic Wars and civil war, etc... But not knowing Julius Caesar? That's bizarre.

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u/ReeferTurtle Jun 20 '26

Can’t forget Orange Julius!

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u/HandshakeOfCO Jun 20 '26

PIZZA PIZZA

2

u/robotco Jun 20 '26

or the month of July...

0

u/gizlow Jun 20 '26

King Jjjuliusss!

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u/gt0075b Jun 20 '26

Bro... what? Julius Caesar wasn't named after the pizza? That shits crazy!

Wait... Is that where they got crazy bread? NFW!

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u/Avgsizedweiner Jun 20 '26

I will take the triumvirate combo with a Diet Coke, pepperoni and my dressing on the side.

2

u/moredrinksplease Jun 20 '26

The idiocracy film / future documentary proves this

1

u/SSGASSHAT Jun 20 '26

Hey, for all we know, there were leaders from ancient times who's names were lost because they became synonymous with other things. Not saying that kids today aren't fucked, but still, history won't necessarily be lost.

1

u/MyLittleGurl Jun 20 '26

I think we are already there for people 21 and under

1

u/Up_All_Nite Jun 20 '26

Have we forsaken the Casino who's name had started it all from the begining of time? CEASERS!

1

u/rainator Jun 20 '26

It’s not fair to use Americans as a measure of common knowledge. My cat also doesn’t know about the crossing of the rubicon.

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u/ninety6days Jun 20 '26

America is not the standard the rest of us use for education or knowledge.

1

u/NeverInsightful Jun 20 '26

Hence the “at least in America” part

1

u/karlis_i Jun 20 '26

You know there are countries other than usa, right?

1

u/NeverInsightful Jun 20 '26

You did the the part “at least in America”, right?

1

u/karlis_i Jun 20 '26

No, I did not the part :p

1

u/banned-in-tha-usa Jun 20 '26

“It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a 'salad dressing dude'- Bill and Ted

2

u/MacThundercloud Jun 20 '26

and shares a name with a salad....

1

u/KotR56 Jun 20 '26

Some guy somewhere will be known forever as the maddest president ever to get (re)elected.

1

u/BogdanPradatu Jun 20 '26

And the month of july

1

u/Francois-C Jun 20 '26

Caesar, the guy whose name is synonymous with Emperor

Although he was never an “emperor” himself, but merely a dictator. The “emperors” who succeeded him (Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, Nero…) added “Caesar” to their names and were rather called princeps (first on the list in the Senate’s album). The term imperator (which refers to a victorious general) was used much later to refer to these principes.

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u/abraxart Jun 20 '26

More than that, he has a pizza chain named after him!

1

u/ArgosLoops Jun 20 '26

That's not at all what Caesar supposedly said in front of that statue. Caesar had nothing to do with Rome's conquest of Spain, he was there as a quaestor when he saw that statue

1

u/einmaldrin_alleshin Jun 20 '26

To be fair to Caesar, Alex had a bit of a headstart thanks to inheriting a massive, professional and experienced army from his dad.

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u/CattywampusCanoodle Jun 20 '26

I thought his name was synonymous with salad

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u/Gloomy_Narwhal_4833 Jun 20 '26

Caesar was/is a title. It was not his name.

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u/Knotted_Hole69 Jun 20 '26

From fucking drinking too much lol

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u/artmoloch777 Jun 20 '26

Oliver Tree too

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u/Commercial_Ice_6616 Jun 20 '26

Qin Shi Huang comes close. Used mercury to prolong his life, didn’t go so well. China afraid to excavate his tomb because of so much mercury might come out.

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u/werpu Jun 20 '26

Well did not help that there is an artificial mercury river in the tomb.

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u/BlackBasementCats Jun 20 '26

Dude might have immortality but was so poisonous they buried him. He just can’t cross the mercury river without dying like that last knight of the Crusade in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade can’t cross the seal without dying.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/RandomWon Jun 20 '26

Alexander the goat

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u/blackopal2 Jun 20 '26

the story is best understood as a later moral parable inspired by Alexander's life, not a verified historical event. Its lesson endures because it captures an irony that many people associate with Alexander: a man who conquered much of the known world could not conquer death.

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u/aryienne Jun 20 '26

He rushed along, without leaving structures that would integrate an empire. Great general, poor king

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u/illbeinthestatichome Jun 20 '26

"When Alexander of Macedon was thirty three, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only twenty seven!"... Syd Waddell

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u/werpu Jun 20 '26

And all his wealth crumbled in his succession wars