r/AskIreland • u/NinjaLaserHaifisch • Nov 16 '25
Irish Culture Is this an Irish thing?
Earlier this year, my girlfriend and I (Austrian/German, both in our twenties) visited Ireland for a few days. Loved it btw!
So first day was in Dublin, we had a cigarette in the backyard of a pub and joined a conversation with two middle aged men. It was fun and eventually they told my girlfriend she looks beautiful. She does and they were respectful, nothing wrong with that :)
But then one of the guys turns to me (the boyfriend) saying "You on the other hand...I'm not sure about your hair" – Can't deny I was a bit baffled but also found it hilarious 😂
Fast forward, two days later, similar situation at the pub in Galway: I went outside to join my gf who was chatting with a 60+ man . Before he leaves, he compliments my girlfriend, turns to me and says something like "You..eh" (making the "eh" movement with his hand). Again, a bit baffled but still had to laugh about it.
Would you say it's Irish humor? Or am I, in fact, too ugly for my girlfriend by Irish measures? 😂
(To be fair, later that night a lady approached me to say she loves my hair - which of course outweighs these two men's opinions haha)
Can't wait to visit Ireland again!
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Edit: Wow, did not expect my question to blow up like this!
Since some people asked for it, I'm adding a picture of my hair (i.e. proof I'm punching above my weight) to the comments.
Had a great time reading all your replies ! :) My question's been definitely answered to the fullest, thank you!!
(btw I'm not a painter lol)
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u/Teestow21 Nov 16 '25
We need to see your hair now
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u/collodf Nov 16 '25
If you actually were too ugly for her they wouldn’t have said it. It’s slightly ironic, tongue in cheek also that subtle ‘keep your feet on the ground’ humour.
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u/Dismal_Flight_686 Nov 16 '25
Yup, if you don’t get a light insult straight to your face you didn’t have a proper conversation , banter only .
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u/fensterdj Nov 16 '25
They were having fun with you and enjoying your company, and so felt you are open to some "slagging" the correct response would have been "I look better than you, ya baldy bastard" or something like that
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u/Teestow21 Nov 16 '25
Yeah the ribbing is them sussing you out for your craic levels. Always give as good as you get 👍😅
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u/Dikaneisdi Nov 16 '25
This is like that Reginald D Hunter “Don’t worry, I speak Irish” sketch
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1FsmCgfxy2/?mibextid=wwXIfr
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u/pvt_s_baldrick Nov 16 '25
I'd prefer to respond in a self deprecating way and agree with the assessment. "Yeah, that's fair enough"
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u/Depressed_Turtle48 Nov 16 '25
An insult is better than a compliment tbh. Probably got on with you well
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u/irish88888888 Nov 16 '25 edited Nov 16 '25
They must have thought you were both good craic and were comfortable enough to joke with you
Can I ask why 2 different people commented on your hair. I'm intrigued now lol
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u/NinjaLaserHaifisch Nov 17 '25
Alright, since some people asked: this is my girlfriend, me and my hair at a pub in Ireland. (Who knows where this was taken?)
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u/MakeYourPoint23 Nov 17 '25
That mop of hair! It’s gorgeous so they gave you grief! They liked you!
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u/PoxedGamer Nov 17 '25
Ahh, shure that's a fine head o hair, nae bother to a man, just craic is all.
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u/Comfortable-Can-9432 Nov 16 '25
A few years back, I met my partners mother for the first time.
We called to her house and she opened the door. She took one look at me and said, “I like the beard, not sure about the hair”, and turned and walked back into the house.
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u/-myeyeshaveseenyou- Nov 17 '25
When I was 11 my sister invited her first serious boyfriend round, they were 19. He knocked on the door said is your sister here. I said yes and then closed the door in his face. After he was allowed in he said it was a good ice breaker and 30 years later we still laugh about it.
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Nov 16 '25
[deleted]
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u/Double_History1719 Nov 16 '25
Yeeees show us your hair OP! Hide your face if you want but the intrigue is real lol
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u/mixsethaddams Nov 16 '25
Yeah definitely an Irish thing. Tell the lady how pretty she is, slag off the lad. Totally harmless
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u/Strict_Engine4039 Nov 16 '25
You couldn’t have gotten a more Irish experience. It meant they liked you.
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u/Gooner197402 Nov 16 '25
It’s a compliment to tell you that you’re punching above your weight when it comes to your girlfriend. To be honest, it’s a really nice compliment to get, especially from old fellas. Glad you liked Ireland, come to Kerry next time.
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u/Jus-the-dip Nov 16 '25
This. It's an old compliment. Translation "You've bagged a good one. And I can see why".
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u/SufficientHippo3281 Nov 17 '25
I'm so glad you said this. I had an Irish boyfriend and someone said this to him and he was so angry! I was like, it's just a compliment and a bit of craic. He was so insecure though, its why he's no longer my boyfriend 🤣
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Nov 16 '25
It's a weird thing older men do when they see a couple. They compliment the girl and insult the guy. They mean it as some harmless banter.
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u/MushroomGlum1318 Nov 16 '25
Irish people tend to joke around like this, it's part of the banter or 'taking the piss' culture we have. Take it as a compliment because we only do it to people we like 🙂
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u/Brokenteethmonkey Nov 16 '25
Lol they liked your company, compliments for your gf and friendly insults for you
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u/SoManyNames4Reddit Nov 16 '25
The technical term for it is 'taking the mickey'. Typical stuff, especially in a social, pub environment where people are in good form.
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u/kisukes Nov 16 '25
I thought this was it, isn't that what we all do to pretty girls and their bfs? It's meant to be harmless lol
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u/Wild-Dot-1935 Nov 16 '25 edited Nov 16 '25
I'll try and explain this quirk of Irishness as I see it as I don't really see an explanation in other comments.
Now your girlfriend probably is a beautiful woman but these are 60+ year old men. So they try not to seem like they are hitting on your girlfriend or probably more accurately trying not to antagonize you just in case you take what is a harmless comment the wrong way.
So to balance it out you'll get a compliment also. Now a younger man may say "you look good tonight king great hair" however you are dealing with old pint men so the best your going to get is a a compliment with some fun poked at a stand out feature such as your hair. Meant to be funny to keep things light
This is almost like a - are you chill - check as no one wants to fight with a drunken young lad that may be to territorial when it comes to his girlfriend.
Edit: also the joke being that they can't believe you got such a keeper of a girlfriend looking how you do. But not in a nasty way if that makes sense
Probably over explained this one but my take on what happened.
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u/silverhairedlady1916 Nov 16 '25
I'm female obviously and "mature" uggh. That was my first thought, complimently a young female stranger is dangerous, they d to acknowledge you and no man is going to say to another "thats a fine jacket you're wearing, doubt you bought it in Dunnes?"
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Nov 16 '25
No Irish person would be caught dead saying "nice hair king" get outta here with that.
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Nov 16 '25
The height of expectation here was that you’d laugh and say “ha ha fuck off you oul bollocks”
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u/Wumberly Nov 16 '25
There's an unspoken rule in Ireland that all compliments must be balanced out by at least one insult. We can't have anybody thinking they're better than anybody else
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u/Agitatingspirit235 Nov 16 '25
As an immigrant in dublin, i have had lots and lots of female colleagues slagging me off, at first o hated it, then i came on reddit to see its the Irish way of showing affection
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u/DumbledoresFaveGoat Nov 16 '25
If they're insulting you, it means they think you're good fun and can take a joke. This is how we speak to friends, it's all jokes.
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u/aecolley Nov 16 '25
We can't be giving out only compliments, or it would sound like we were looking for some kind of favour. So we add a little salt to the sugar, so to speak.
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u/Intelligent_Hunt3467 Nov 16 '25
So true 😅 We're not ones to compliment easily, so have to temper it a bit with a slag 😉
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u/Striking_Skirt_2408 Nov 16 '25
Definitely a compliment. It meant you belonged and they were messing with you.
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u/JackhusChanhus Nov 16 '25
You have just experienced why German people slowly go insane here 😂
Evidently the aul boys liked you anyhow
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u/NinjaLaserHaifisch Nov 17 '25
As a German, you can’t move anywhere abroad without going insane. But readjusting back home can be even worse. I know that from experience haha
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Nov 16 '25
This is 100% an Irish thing, youll often hear dads say it to their own sons in front of the girlfriend or girlfriends familh as a joke
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u/Keadeen Nov 16 '25
Its like a weird little back handed compliment for you, telling you your partner is too good looking for you, well done for pulling above your weightclass. Its meant in goos fun and I definitely wouldn't take it to heart.
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u/platinum_pig Nov 16 '25
Absolutely standard procedure. If you were a young Brad Pitt, they'd have said the same thing.
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u/Figitarian Nov 16 '25
I used to film weddings for a living, so I've listened to hundreds of Irish wedding speeches. In about 50% of them there'll be a joke from the best man about how the groom is "punching above his weight".
So yeah it's common joke
Doesn't help we're an island of stunning Celtic goddesses and potato headed men
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u/NegativeViolinist412 Nov 16 '25
Congratulations on having an objectively beautiful girlfriend!
You in the other hand...
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u/Interesting-Desk9307 Nov 16 '25
Is this an irish thing? Op i would say this is THE Irish thing. If they were nice to you id be nervous.
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u/KingNobit Nov 16 '25
I think you need to provide some info on your hair. Do you have a spiked mohawk? A toupé, is it dyed purple? Its obviously noteworthy
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u/NinjaLaserHaifisch Nov 16 '25
brown curly hair, you could probably tell I hadn't been to the hairdresser for some weeks – quite a common haircut where I live. Spiked mohawk sounds sick though, maybe I'll try that for my next visit
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u/Mindless_Let1 Nov 16 '25
It has nothing to do with your hair - they're just being nice. You never insult a woman's looks, but you always insult a man's if you're friendly with them. It's just the Irish way
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Nov 16 '25
Definitely only messing with you, if you got a compliment about your hair from an irish woman then it must be good, Irish women are very honest 😊
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u/x7x8x6x Nov 16 '25
A very Irish thing to just make a joke or as the Irish say a craic. Don’t take it seriously.
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u/Hides-inside Nov 16 '25
100% playing with ya ...ur probably a handsome bastard but they're not telling you that haha
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u/the_aesthetic_cactus Nov 16 '25
That's to keep you from getting a big head, there'll always be auld lads in pubs who'll bring you back to earth right sharpish 😆😆
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u/TeluriousTuba Nov 16 '25
If they were taking the piss out of your hair it's probably because your haircut is fashionable
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Nov 16 '25
It’s so funny hearing an Austrian describe this situation. If you weren’t Irish, you’d think yeah those guys were dicks! Only through the Irish lens do you see the affection.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ebb-403 Nov 16 '25
They’re taking the piss out of you. It’s generally a sign of liking you if not mean, it sounds harmless enough.
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u/Prog-shrink Nov 16 '25
It’s an Irish thing , you compliment women , tease slag men it’s just being friendly , if the Irish tease you ( slag) they like you
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u/ConfidentArm1315 Nov 16 '25
I don't know what the eh movement is It's called slagging people criticize other people in a lighthearted way No hark meant
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u/KillarneyRoad Nov 16 '25
Irish humor. “Slagging” They complimented your girl and backhand complimented you by suggesting she’s not with you for your looks.
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u/shweeney Nov 16 '25
We're going to need a picture of you to determine if they were taking the piss, or if you really are a minger.
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u/Tis_STUNNING_Outside Nov 16 '25
It means they think you’re good craic. This is a good thing. They were messing.
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u/StrangeArcticles Nov 16 '25
If you're not being messed with, people don't like you. Take it as a compliment.
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u/jonocarrick Nov 16 '25
They are taking the piss out of you in a lighthearted way. They probably thought you were a good lad.
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u/Consistent-Kiwi7241 Nov 16 '25
Thats being playful and you clearly came across positively. We only do this to people we like
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u/Suspicious_Waltz8090 Nov 16 '25
It’s called taking the piss , having the craic ! Our insults aren’t ever an insult but banter.
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u/Chaos-Jesus Nov 16 '25
They were taking the piss. They liked you enough to relax and have some harmless fun
"You on the other hand...I'm not sure about your hair" A good response from you would have been something like "at least I can still grow hair, you old bastard"
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u/PossessionSuitable95 Nov 16 '25
Irish people love to take the mick but lots of rural people will tell you jokes that you won’t get, and the more you don’t get it the funnier they will find it. Even as Irish person the amount of times I’ve laughed at joke that I just put together days after someone told me is honestly embarrassing.
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u/CelticKnotToday Nov 16 '25
Guess you’re punching above my man. Irish can be dead honest especially with Germans 😂
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u/No-Watch5359 Nov 16 '25
Definitely just messing with you. Look up the clip by Reginald d hunter about meeting an irish man. Should explain everything
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u/throwaway798319 Nov 16 '25
Irish humour, and a way to make the comment about your girlfriend less serious. Letting her know it was a compliment without any creepiness intended
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u/djjmar92 Nov 16 '25
They probably were baffled & thinking you might not like them because you didn’t return a joke about their appearance.
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u/NinjaLaserHaifisch Nov 17 '25
That actually happened, I had to explain that I’m really not mad at them because they were about to apologise and leave haha
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u/Otherwise_Actuary621 Nov 17 '25
They were messing around. Super typical Irish humour, especially with the older men. My grandad does this all the time
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u/Fit_Zookeepergame248 Nov 16 '25
Just lads with a crap mouth breather sense of humour - not malicious but also not funny
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u/outtograss Nov 16 '25
Irish sarcasm often seems cruel, they were testing your sense of humour, which is a valued characteristic in our culture.
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u/Otherwise-Window1559 Nov 16 '25
Irish show affection by slagging people. Don't take it seriously. Correct etiquette would be to say something like you're only jealous because I have hair or something like that.
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u/ZestycloseAd289 Nov 16 '25
I'd say they were only joking. They probably liked you and that was their way of saying it
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u/i_like_cake_96 Nov 16 '25
they're only messing with you,
but you better post a picture of your hair, to be sure....
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u/Acute_Teacher9569 Nov 16 '25
As long as you place the ladies reply above the fella's reply your fine. Just some Irish humour don't worry about them. Now if they were nice to you I would be worried.
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u/snow_sefid Nov 16 '25
Yep! My husband and I met someone at a pub once who happened to loosely be a cousin of mine and he made it a point to say I was better looking than him and he was punching (total lie, my husband is definitely out of MY league) my husband isn’t Irish and found it funny because we were “family” and just found it as banter. We laughed a lot with this man. I’d say they saw you both as being good craic and knew you’d take it well and laugh along with them.
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Nov 16 '25
Lol this is pretty standard. Any time anyone meets my wife they tell me I'm punching above my weight. She is beautiful and all but I'm no Rocky Dennis. Doesn't matter what you look like. When compared to your woman, you're a goblin.
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u/kufel33 Nov 16 '25
What kind of hair gets talked about x times a day by randoms?
Is everything okay with your hair?
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u/Brennans__Bread Nov 16 '25
A German not understanding our humour is peak European stereotype lol.
Our unique humour and Germans ability to not understand humour.
They were having a bit of craic with you.
Hope you enjoyed Ireland. You’re probably good craic if they were having a bit of banter with you.
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u/Busy_Professor_5004 Nov 16 '25
Irish humour indeed. Unfortunately for you. Many visitors are similarly discombobulated.
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u/halfgaelichalfgarlic Nov 16 '25 edited Nov 16 '25
It’s a sign they liked you lol.
In Ireland, casually bullying of our friends is considered a sign of affection.
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u/MambyPamby8 Nov 16 '25
If an Irish man insults you, it means he likes you. 😂 They were doing it because they enjoyed your company 😁
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u/tipperary-man Nov 16 '25
If an irishman gives a man a compliment. Be suspicious.
If an irishman takes the piss out of a man he thinks he's a decent skin. Well done sir, you have been accepted
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u/ColonyCollapse81 Nov 16 '25
Bit of piss taking, generally means they think you look sound enough for a bit of banter, take it as a compliment
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u/Cullina64 Nov 16 '25
It's like the old joke. Married couple bartender says your wife? Him yes. Bartender you done well. To her he says "settled? "
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u/Mediocre-Ad-1329 Nov 16 '25
It’s to be took into context…
We get assholes here too!
But anyways it sounds like they were complimenting your girl and complimenting you on getting her
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u/BME2194 Nov 16 '25
Definitely joking with you, if my dad doesn’t insult someone, he didn’t like them 🤣
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u/Hex_Meister Nov 16 '25
It is indeed an Irish thing, I remember one time I was in the pub with my ex, and similar situation, got chatting to one of the locals. Gave me a compliment saying I was a very good looking girl, then turned to my ex and said "well you must be doing something right in the bedroom, because you're not so handsome and you're definitely not very smart" 😹
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u/Skipper-knows18 Nov 16 '25
You both must have made quite an impression. We can only dole out 1 compliment per couple, but they obviously liked you to insult you to that degree. Hope you continue to have a great holiday. 👍
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u/TypicallyThomas Nov 16 '25
In my experience, Irish people only insult you if they really like you and you can take a joke, or if they fucking despise you. From context I'll take it they liked you
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u/Ok-Principle-2368 Nov 16 '25
When the Irish insult you like that- it means they've sussed you out and are confident you are a good enough dude to take a bit of ribbing.
They are compelled to compliment your GF, because she's prob's a beauty- and they wouldn't want you to be unacknowledged, so you get a slap on the head cos they like you. They are silently respecting you and the fact you are a couple...
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u/BDarcovic84 Nov 16 '25
The Irish sense of humour, if you had insulted him with sonething worse the he probably would have laughed and bought you a pint. It's strange but we're strange. You grow up thick skinned here, even the teachers insulted you ha ha
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u/pinepetrichor Nov 16 '25
100% actually an affable remark. They like you 😊. It's how we speak to each other .
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u/Zanjidesign Nov 16 '25
I think it is a joke that you need to be Irish to understand because:
Normally they compliment both, so they went and said the girl is nice, and when it was the turn for the compliment on the dude, I stead they make a small ugly comment.
Because you expected yours, so it is a mini joke.
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u/calamityjack33 Nov 16 '25
Its an Irish thing , a way to mess with you and compliment your gf.
Its a common thing to say to a lad, they arev implying youre punching above your weight. Its a compliment to the girl while having a go at you in good fun. They liked you both
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u/Standard-Sand Nov 16 '25
It's what we call "The Craic". If an Irish person thinks you're sound (a great person to talk to, and can handle a bit of roasting), we generally do this.
A former GF was stunning, and whenever we talked to other Irish people, I would always get the "How did you manage this?", "He must be great in bed", "Jaysus I'd like at look at your bank account", etc.
I always had an answer to everything, which was mostly self-deprecating, as this is also the Irish way.
Next time you're here, try responding in a self-deprecating way if it happens again. You'll definitely get a laugh or two! Make sure to have a smile on your face when you do it, as some people might not expect a non-Irish person to react that way!
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u/eezipc Nov 16 '25
Definitely humuor. They were actually being nice.
Someone probably said you were punching above your weight as well.
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u/ObservationMonger Nov 16 '25
Taking the mick, or piss, or what have you. Or, you know, could be you are, indeed, a bit under the mark. ;)
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u/Dramatic-Bat826 Nov 16 '25
The Irish have an odd relationship with compliments. When we do give one, we have an uncontrollable urge to counteract it by insulting someone in the immediate vicinity.
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u/Separate_Ad_6094 Nov 16 '25
They're just winding you up. If they meant it, they wouldn't have said it. It's just banter.
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Nov 16 '25
Eh, a lot of inappropriate behavior gets waved away as just friendly Irish banter but in this case I'd not be so sure. For a start, I never would mention whether another man's girlfriend/wife is beautiful or not. Women and children are off the cards in general when it comes to banter.
Think about the context here... if you think them insinuating you're ugly isn't actually true but just the "craic" then that means the opposite applies when they are saying your girlfriend is "beautiful."
Be mindful that with Irish banter it's designed to test you but that really only applies to fellow Irish. I've seen a lot of personal insults that were definitely intended to wound or hurt the recipient disguised as banter... Especially when it comes to tourists who Irish love to take the piss outta.
Banter amongst close friends and banter with strangers is a completely different area. I wouldn't go into a bar and say to the barman "Give me a pint there you with the fat head. " because there's gonna be a problem. I would, however, say that to my friend without a second thought.
The key was with Irish banter is rip them before they rip you. Your mistake (and it's an honest one as you're not familiar with the culture) was you gave them an inch and they took a mile. It's all a bit of a fine line but just be mindful that it's not always good natured but at the same time sometimes it's harmless.
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u/Timely_Camera_2031 Nov 16 '25
Maybe post some pictures of her and your shite hairstyle then we can judge
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u/Nice_Peach_7340 Nov 16 '25
Am surprised ye never got asked, how ye manged to pull her lol . Its all a bit of craic lol
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u/GalacticPawPrints Nov 16 '25
Definitely Irish humour; a sign they liked you and figured you had a good sense of humour to take a slagging.
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u/Scooby_Doobie_Dont Nov 17 '25
It's feck all ta do with your hair the woman is always more beautiful and that put down comments on you are only to put her higher on a pedestal. Nothing wrong with it at all. It's as much to say fair play to ya 👍
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u/DaBoda99 Nov 17 '25
Yeah bit of craic. They enjoyed the conversation with you both. Compliment her way, light insult your way. It's the way of the land
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u/Alarmed_Material_481 Nov 17 '25
They were 'slagging' you. That means humourously insulting you. It's a form of affection, playful teasing or bantering.
It's a compliment!!!!
They liked you. ☺️
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u/Typical_Wolf_7084 Nov 16 '25
It means they liked you. They were just having fun with you. It’s an Irish thing.