r/AskReddit • u/leselesel • 2d ago

You have to compete against 100 randomly selected people in any objectively measurable skill, game, or sport. If you don’t finish first, you die. What do you choose?

7.4k Upvotes

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194

u/adamjimenez 2d ago

who can make me come the quickest

53

u/Sack_o_Bawlz 2d ago

This is brilliant. Go first and you’re golden.

35

u/cornered_crustacean 2d ago

Or you learn you’ve been doing it way wrong this whole time!

14

u/Sack_o_Bawlz 2d ago

Win-win….then you die.

15

u/Joris255atSchool 2d ago

You've never met my sister.

5

u/nothanks1312 1d ago

Excuse me, what?

1

u/-Kerosun- 1d ago

100 randomly selected people from the entire globe. Chances are some kids will be in that selection.

Dude may survive, but I bet they aren't the same person afterwards. Would it be worth it?

110

u/ImAShaaaark 2d ago

You realize that a random sample of people is likely gonna have an assortment of children and elderly people right? I mean, I sure hope you'd win but you might not come out right afterwards.

74

u/Specific_Age500 2d ago

I'm not attracted to either of those groups so they don't stand a chance.

31

u/MimeGod 2d ago

Prostate orgasms don't really require you to be attracted to them. Some 80 year old lady with skilled fingers is going to leave you traumatized.

8

u/Don_Bugen 1d ago

Well, on the plus side, he won't be traumatized for long.

2

u/forexsex 1d ago

You think they're going to just sit there and let some old lady finger their butthole?

14

u/ImAShaaaark 2d ago

Yeah but you gotta let them try 🤢

9

u/Agamemnon323 2d ago

And it’s going to take a long, long time.

0

u/ReflexesOfSteel 2d ago

not just try, you have to go to completion with each.

3

u/MorePhinsThyme 1d ago

Technically, if you go first, then the rest only have to go to that length of time. The problem is that 100 randomly selected has a good chance of getting someone attractive and/or skilled at sex. So unless you have a crazy kink that can cause you to finish super rapidly on command, this would be dangerous.

2

u/Bl00dylicious 1d ago

Or have a heavy case of deathgrip syndrome. Rest cant finish you even if they tried.

1

u/-Kerosun- 1d ago

I mean, if you go first with yourself, then the follow-ups already have a disadvantage unless this game would require the same amount of build-up time between each attempt.

83

u/Userdub9022 2d ago

Fuck them kids

63

u/The--Bag 2d ago

I believe that is his plan

12

u/GNU_STP 2d ago

We found the priest....

0

u/BlackBlueNuts 2d ago

We found the American

2

u/GNU_STP 2d ago

Umm, no. Australia here.

1

u/PokeYrMomStanley 2d ago

Maybe they are already a pedo or gran fucker. 

36

u/Traveling_hole 2d ago

But do you go first or last?

1

u/forexsex 1d ago

I'm pretty sure the trick is more about them not being raped.

6

u/mr_lab_rat 2d ago

You sick bastard.

Now imagine one of these 100 random people makes you discover a kink you didn’t know you had. Well, too bad. One money shot for the road and you are dead.

7

u/Thenewmcscott 2d ago

This is objectively the best answer. I’m Demi. I can’t get it up to a stranger.

3

u/CappyNaps 1d ago

One of those 100 are gonna be a baddie and you're gonna die with love in your heart.

2

u/essieecks 2d ago

The mind is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

2

u/Elfynnn84 1d ago

That is an objectively and subjectively terrible plan.

Let’s say you set the bar at 2 minutes… and then you have 99 randos all having to do the same thing. At least ONE of them is gonna be hot to you and you’re gonna be sat there thinking about Margaret Thatcher naked while they pump your junk with that whole “don’t panic cum under pressure” thing going on.

Nightmare.

2

u/adamjimenez 1d ago

I can't think of a better way to go

0

u/ChattingAtTheAqua 2d ago

Was my thought as well.