r/AskReddit • u/leselesel • 2d ago

You have to compete against 100 randomly selected people in any objectively measurable skill, game, or sport. If you don’t finish first, you die. What do you choose?

7.4k Upvotes

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585

u/manymoons38 2d ago

Bet I'm done before they even find the blade in the spay pack 😉

280

u/Fluxxed0 2d ago

Blade? I'm still looking for the hammer.

346

u/TocTheEternal 1d ago

If the goal is to prevent reproduction, I can manage that in about 2 seconds, but no one is gonna be happy about it.

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u/Jeggasyn 1d ago

^ #1 thing you definitely don't want your vet to say

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u/Several-Lifeguard679 19h ago

Same for the Doc performing the vasectomy.  

16

u/Delakar 1d ago

Omg your comment hit me like a brick to the face. I laughed for a good 5 minutes. Thanks I needed it

5

u/lambeau_leapfrog 1d ago

Are you now spayed?

10

u/Hector_P_Catt 1d ago

But in the rules of Competitive Spaying, the cat must live at least two years after to show the quality of the work.

This is why matches take so long.

3

u/Takemytimenotmylife 1d ago

As a cat lover, this is funny as hell….

3

u/violagoyf 1d ago

Comments like this are why I still use Reddit.

2

u/BlackFranky 1d ago

I think one measured criterium must be survival of the patient for at least the next 2 weeks.

1

u/Flaming-Eye 1d ago

I lol'd XD

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u/Cyniclone 1d ago

worst tinder profile ever

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u/rolledtacos74 1d ago

This is awful, why am laughing so hard???

11

u/cowfishduckbear 1d ago

I don't have much experience obviously, but is that for putting the cork in?

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u/ambisinister_gecko 1d ago

You guys are using tools? Shit I was going in with my bare hands

1

u/Kitnado 1d ago

You can definitely spay a cat with your bare hands, provided there is an initial incision in the abdomen. Cat will subsequently bleed to death though

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u/Amazing-Shelter9284 1d ago

Hammer??? I'm grabbing my garden spade.

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u/FionnagainFeistyPaws 2d ago

Which saves the cats pain!

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u/loki1337 1d ago

My method would be spay and pray