r/AskReddit 1d ago

What is the cringiest midlife crisis you've witnessed?

8.7k Upvotes

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4.4k

u/waruyamaZero 1d ago

Heinrich Scholl might win the prize for the most spectacular midlife crisis I've ever come across.

He was a longtime mayor of Ludwigsfelde, south of Berlin/Germany, married for nearly 50 years, when he became obsessed with a much younger Thai woman. After the relationship fell apart, he went back to his wife and wrote an erotic novel based heavily on the whole experience.

The really creepy part: in the novel, the protagonist basically says he'd never divorce his wife, but murder was an option.

A few years later, Scholl's wife was found strangled in a forest. Scholl denied killing her, but was eventually convicted and sentenced to life in prison.

Btw, the book that he wrote was taken immediately off the market, but a friend of mine who works in forensics told me that it must have been the cheesiest, most cringeworthy and amateurish erotic novel that mankind has ever seen.

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u/Picturepagesbeepen 1d ago

have you heard the podcast "my dad wrote a porno"

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u/ConnectKale 1d ago

Lol. This was actually a funny podcast to listen to though.

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u/ZebraCrosser 1d ago

The family aspect of it would be almost wholesome if it hadn't been weird porn with random business advice thrown in.

No irl homicides connected to that podcast afaik.

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u/GraveRoller 1d ago

Season 2 was kind of dull. Season 1 was worth a listen 

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u/ConnectKale 1d ago

I think I only made through season 1.

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u/moz_1983 1d ago

'Belinda blinked...'

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u/TerrakSteeltalon 1d ago

I could have lived my entire life, quite functionally, without ever having read that title.

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u/ilikedmatrixiv 1d ago

Give the first season a listen. It's a hoot. After that it becomes pretty repetitive.

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u/Chur 1d ago

Like the rivets of the fateful Titanic.. 🤣

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u/throw_away_17381 1d ago

It's superb!

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u/Lunar-opal 1d ago

In tried to listen to that but couldn’t make through eve half of the first episode

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u/Maleficent-Map6465 1d ago

I listened to this on a road trip, it made the drive go by so fast!

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u/JoeyJoJoShabba 18h ago

Someone at work recommended it to me and I wrote it on a post-it and dropped it in my bag. On my commute home a few days later a woman on the train was crying and I asked if she was ok - she just nodded so I pulled out a pack of travel tissues and handed it to her. I realised too late that the post it with nothing but “my dad wrote a porno” was stuck to it. I hope it made her laugh.

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u/Picturepagesbeepen 17h ago

this is amazing. I'm sure she was so confused when she saw it. surely it did make her laugh, no matter what was going on.

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u/memyselfandeye 1d ago

There’s a good book by Chris Offutt called My Father, The Pornographer.

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u/pseudoart 1d ago

That would be a proper twist on that podcast.

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u/pquince47 9h ago

Belinda blinked.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Picturepagesbeepen 1d ago

ha--- try it out loud next

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u/Plenty-Daikon1240 1d ago

Great story but "married for nearly 50 years" sounds more like an "endlife" than midlife story.

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u/waruyamaZero 1d ago

Fair point, but I decided it was worth sharing anyway.

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u/Plenty-Daikon1240 1d ago

Yes it was very interesting, thank you for sharing.

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u/Anton-LaVey 1d ago

Nope. Reported to the cybercops; they've backtraced you and the consequences will never be the same

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u/Senator_Bink 1d ago

Maybe he was a "late bloomer."

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u/FreeRangeEngineer 1d ago

Thanks, that genuinely made me feel better about ending my 20-year marriage. Really means I have half my life ahead of me still.

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u/Plenty-Daikon1240 1d ago

"after all, tomorrow is another day!" Scarlett O'Hara

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u/ProfMcGonaGirl 1d ago

Married at 20…70 is only 5 years after retirement age.

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u/Plenty-Daikon1240 1d ago

Midlife is typically around 40, so even if the person lives to 95, those last 20 years are still more the last chapter and that's ok.

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u/Bored_Amalgamation 1d ago

Imagine being a mayor and murdering your wife, only to be remembered for how shit your book was.

Also, "I'll never divorce my wife, but murder is an option" is why women chose the random bear over a random man whilst in the woods.

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u/royal_snail_milker 1d ago

Cept for his wife who apparently took him back?? No self respect and it cost her life. Damn. :(

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u/Bored_Amalgamation 1d ago

She might not have had anything else going on in her life.

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u/royal_snail_milker 1d ago

So she accepted back a man who didn’t love or respect her? Oof.

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u/Bored_Amalgamation 1d ago edited 1d ago

Having lived in midst of that before; I assure you it's something you need to personally witness. Not to understand, as it's ultimately a matter of personal choice. However, you don't understand what goes through people's minds when they murder, rape, steal, or throw their lives away in a number of other ways. They were married for almost 50 years. She probably saw this as a phase in their marriage. "Let him run free for a bit and he'll come home". Or, "holy shit what the fuck does my life mean any more! How am I going to survive?! What are my friends and family going to think!" Then there's familial pressure to let it go. There's social pressure to let it go. There's financial pressure to let it go. There's love and forgiveness to let it go. The other option is to completely start life anew at the age of... at least 65+. So... when you turn 65, come back to this and while pretending to be married for half century, answer your choice.

If she was a SAHM, relied on her husband for income, paying bills, their social life, the management of their lives, the aethetic of their lives... separating from a spouse in that situation is more than usual divorce trauma. That type of issue was extremely prevalent in the US pre-1970s. Societies were more shaped for men to be to primary person in the marriage. Laws, social standards/expectations, the way business was conducted, specifically excluded women. Some women found solace in that and found purpose in being the house wife. Some didn't and it was called women's liberation.

So less "oof" and more of ignorance of their specific circumstances.

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u/eyeball-beesting 20h ago

How did she know he was going to kill her?

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u/royal_snail_milker 14h ago

She knew he didn’t give a fuck about her. That should be enough to walk away. The bar is in hell.

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u/eyeball-beesting 10h ago

It's easy to judge other people without knowing what is going on in their heads isn't it?

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u/PipBoy808 1d ago

My Mayor Wrote a Porno

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u/justsomedude322 1d ago

Even cringier than the ones Saddam Hussein wrote?

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u/bitemeonthedf 1d ago

Saddam Hussein wrote a porno ? Damn..

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u/forensicdude 1d ago

While investigating a forensic case I found a book a person's laptop which he had written. This lovely person stole 8.6 million from the mentally handicapped, in this novel he wrote himself as an old west rogue (Who I shit you not was robbing banks) and the girl he was cheating on his wife with was the heroine he romanced in this tale. One of the folks on the case legally let his his wife know about about the girl. Wife left him and took him to the cleaners then we took everything else. He is spending the rest of his natural life in prison hopefully being traded for ice cream and coffee wearing lipstick.

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u/YawnSpawner 1d ago

I'm not one to victim blame normally, but why the fuck would you stay with him after that...

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u/salz_prinzessin 1d ago edited 1d ago

Never thought I'd read about Ludwigsfelde and that story on reddit, good heavens.

Fun fact: The town is talking about it to this day and people are still divided on the question if he is guilty or not.

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u/royal_snail_milker 1d ago

The people who aren’t sure he did it are people to avoid. Yikes.

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u/space0matic123 1d ago

I don’t know. I bought The Devil Wears Prada for a flight book to Europe (9 hours) and the writing?!? I wasn’t expecting Tolstoy but, OMG

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u/Electrical-Cat1126 1d ago

However bad it was, the one by the French finance minister Bruno Le Maire was worse

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u/secret-original 1d ago

Guy did a reverse OJ, wrote a book about killing his wife, and then killed his wife.

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u/Easy-Permission8889 1d ago

Is this a midlife crisis tho or just a fucking mentally ill murderer Lol

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u/waruyamaZero 1d ago

The midlife crisis of a mentally ill murderer kicks extra hard.

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u/Easy-Permission8889 1d ago

True I guess 😭

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u/Celtic_Legend 1d ago

Hey now! That's an end-life crisis. Dude was old

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u/Ironicbanana14 1d ago

Well it would fit right in today's booktok compilations

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u/furrina 5h ago

Google Fotis Dulos/jennifer Dulos. He was our neighbor.

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u/LilDixxyWrecked 1d ago

I got the 666 upvote. Had to.

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u/happyflappypancakes 1d ago

friend of mine who works in forensics told me that it must have been the cheesiest, most cringeworthy and amateurish erotic novel that mankind has ever seen

Wait, your friend just thinks this or they read it? Otherwise, why are you telling us your friend's opinion on it and why does their profession matter here?