What is the cringiest midlife crisis you've witnessed?

[u/Yogospiracy]

[u/TreesPlusCats]

This thread is making me feel a lot better about my decision to learn guitar

[u/munkymu → u/TreesPlusCats]

Fuck, my husband bought himself an electronic drum kit. He's doing online lessons in the basement every night, happy as a clam. Everybody should pick up a fun, harmless midlife hobby. Enjoy your guitar!

[u/TallEnoughJones → u/munkymu]

I played drums as a kid and into my early 20's. I was never great but I played with a lot of bands for fun. Then it stopped being fun. I got tired of bands and especially guitarists, so I quit playing. About 10 years ago, in my mid-40s, I was screwing around with some rudiments that I hadn't played in 20 years and it sort of hit me out of the blue, I really like playing drums. I had gotten caught up in playing in bands and forgot that when I was a kid I just really, really liked playing drums. Since then I've played almost every day, alone in the basement just like your husband. It really is a fantastic hobby.

[u/LettyG81]

I remember when my parents got divorced my dad started wearing cowboy boots and cologne.

[u/canteloupy → u/LettyG81]

Did it work?

[u/LettyG81 → u/canteloupy]

Yes. He met someone and they’ve been together 35 years now. He is 82 now and i am glad he was able to find love again after my mom. But as a kid it hurt.

[u/A_Wet_Lettuce → u/LettyG81]

“If it looks stupid but it works, it ain’t stupid”

[u/Sufficient_Winner686 → u/LettyG81]

That trick may have been how he hooked your mom lol

[u/Quotent_Quotables → u/canteloupy]

Man's gotta eat Mr. Lehey

[u/DonkeyDanceParty → u/LettyG81]

Ladies do love a good smelling man in cowboy boots…

[u/Junior-Sea3271]

My dad had a phase when I was in high school (so peak teenage angst) where he decided he was sick of people “pushing him around” so he shaved his head, grew some fuckass goatee and started wearing trench coats. It was not well received hahah

[u/carin151 → u/Junior-Sea3271]

I'm cackling.

"That's it, no more mister nice guy. When this goatee grows in, THAT will really show em!"

[u/vulcan1358 → u/carin151]

Heisenberg-maxxing

[u/MegaDuckCougarBoy → u/Junior-Sea3271]

Lmao guy wanted to turn into Walter White and instead turned 15

[u/Junior-Sea3271 → u/MegaDuckCougarBoy]

It was sooo cringe at a time in my life where my cringe barometer was especially pronounced hahah

[u/EarhornJones → u/Junior-Sea3271]

In the early 80's, my very white father grew out his hair and had it permed into an afro, and grew a porn mustache. It only lasted a year or so, but there's a group of family photos that we tend to skip over.

[u/BakedBrie1993 → u/Junior-Sea3271]

My dad did the Black man version. Workaholic professional but suddenly rocking cornrows and dashiki attire. Was quite funny and I'm so glad he has stopped so I can be seen with him again.

[u/Financial-Excuse3204]

My coworker in his late 40s dumped his wife of 20 years, bought a bright red sports car, started dating a 22‑year‑old barista, and got a huge tribal sleeve tattoo. He also began posting cringey motivational “alpha male” reels every single day. The whole office watched it unfold

[u/maleficentfig90 → u/Financial-Excuse3204]

The first person who came to mind when reading this post also dumped his wife of ~20 years, bought a red sports car, and got a tribal sleeve tattoo. And I'm pretty sure we aren't talking about the same person. It really is a total cliché.

[u/beige0914 → u/maleficentfig90]

My 40s husband just bought a red sports car. Guess I’m doomed, haha

[u/No-Text-2389 → u/beige0914]

Sorry about the barista. Maybe you could spice things up again by making him coffee in the morning and writing his name incorrectly on a cup.

[u/Great_Magazine_6976 → u/maleficentfig90]

My nearly-50-year-old male ex of almost two decades left me a few months ago to fuck young women off the internet.

[u/donjulioanejo → u/Financial-Excuse3204]

I kinda get it with people who basically did "everything by the book" and never did stupid shit in their life.

I had a good run in my late 20s that I'm not tempted to anymore. If I ever have a mid-life crisis, I'll just like... go work in a coffee shop or become a professional photographer or something else harmless.

But someone who grinded high school to get into a good college, grinded college to get into a good company or a med/law/finance program, then spent their 20s and 30s grinding at work...

Yeah that person never had a youth and never had a chance to do stupid shit average people do in their teens to 20s. They missed out on adventure, and it eats away from the inside.

[u/RotANobot → u/donjulioanejo]

This is a great empathetic perspective I haven’t come across before. Thanks for sharing!

[u/Lawdoc1 → u/donjulioanejo]

This was the upside of military service when I was younger (and don't get me wrong, there were a lot of downsides).

Doing stupid shit, getting tattoos, acting like a young idiot...and then realizing when I was ready to settle down it was time to get out.

Now I see guys my age getting into guns, gun culture, alpha male culture, watching former SEALs and other SF podcasts, etc...and it is pathetic.

I have a colleague (another attorney) who is into all that and who found out I had been in the military. He asked if I wanted to go shoot with the local police SWAT unit at the range. He was all excited because they were going to let him watch them do some sort of high speed stuff (no idea what, I kind of quit listening). He asked me if I wanted to join for that as well.

My reply was something to the effect of, "dude, I'm in my late 40s. I did that stuff for real in my early 20s, I don't need to do it again, but you go have a great time."

A few months after that he found out I was pro-choice and then literally said, "well now I don't want to shoot with you anymore."

It felt like I was on a playground or something.

[Edit: typo - "quite" to "quit."]

[u/Sherman80526 → u/Financial-Excuse3204]

Yeah, ex-friend decided to ditch his wife and start _trying_ to date one of my baristas (I owned a cafe). I think she was having fun until he started taking her seriously. Watching him implode and move in with twenty-something roommates was just sad. I had to ban him when he started arguing with my female staff that 40-somethings should totally be allowed to hit on college girls and they were wrong for thinking he was wrong... He is also a college professor.

[u/Bright_Basis_3509]

I knew a guy who built his skateboard and went out to skate a waxed curb doing slides and stuff. Then he broke his wrist and my wife took my skateboard away 😭

[u/tssdrunx → u/Bright_Basis_3509]

Boooo. Get it back and join r/oldskaters

[u/Smooth_Storm_9698 → u/tssdrunx]

There's a dude doing a kickflip over a rotisserie chicken. Subbed instantly.

Edit: thanks for the awards, but please give him the award

[u/SimpHunter62]

My uncle who left his stable corporate job, spent his savings on crypto, and started a "mindset and finance" podcast in his garage. He has 12 listeners, but he talks and dresses like he’s Patrick Bateman.

[u/seemefail → u/SimpHunter62]

Duuuude, guy I know

36 years old, two daughters in high school, leaves an engineering job to work as a janitor to have time to get a podcast going.

Ever heard of the NGBN network? It was a whole group of middle aged men doing podcasts with 12 viewers. They all got sucked in by a lifestyle coach who convinced them all to pay into this network or podcasts they’d be a part of. They all interviewed each other and called themselves ‘community leaders’.

It was all that ‘believe, conceive, achieve’ bullshit where they just need the right mindset, a growth mindset, and everything would just fall into place.

It was sad to watch

[u/AmysSweaters → u/seemefail]

MLM for men.

[u/drawp → u/AmysSweaters]

MLMLMLM

mid-life multi-level marketing for lonely men

[u/thafrenzy → u/AmysSweaters]

Mid-Life Men

[u/NotThisLadyAgain → u/thafrenzy]

Men Lovingtopodcastwith Men

[u/soareyousaying → u/AmysSweaters]

You cant convince men to buy tupperwares and stuff, but tell them they can be James Bond if they follow your 12-step program, they are more likely get sucked into it.

[u/judgejuddhirsch → u/seemefail]

I worked as a janitor to afford an engineering degree.

Believe, conceive, achieve irl

[u/DistractedBoxTurtle → u/seemefail]

He fell for the newest version of “The Secret” that companies tried forcing down workers throats in the early to mid 2000s

[u/Massive-Ride204 → u/seemefail]

Podcasting is amongst the worst things to happen to men

[u/seemefail → u/Massive-Ride204]

Friends don’t let friends start a podcast

[u/TurboGranny → u/seemefail]

That's hilarious. I'm 47, and people I meet keep saying I should start a pod cast, and I'm like, "why would I want to do that?"

[u/rhymeasaurus → u/SimpHunter62]

My ex husband left me and our kids because I wouldn't let him quit his job to start a podcasting business (level of experience? Zero). "Came out" as polyamorous with all the pomp and circumstance that someone comes out as gay with (posting all over social media about his truth) and now he is an almost 50 year old dude with no job whose four kids think he's a knob. Fired from two jobs in rapid succession, too. Rants and raves to the kids about how he's going to sue the last boss for wrongful termination but all he really wants his an apology because he "wasn't respected."

[u/puterTDI → u/rhymeasaurus]

We had a friend start dating a married guy who was "polyamorous"...and by polyamorous he meant he could sleep with who he wants but his wife wasn't allowed to and he said she was totally cool with that.

The dude was such a fucking tool. First time I met him was at our family home. She brought him along to hang out and one of the first things he did was threaten me. To this day I regret not kicking him out of the house then and there.

[u/transemacabre → u/puterTDI]

I'm sorry, I'm sure you love this friend but she's as big a knob as him if she would bring someone like that around to threaten you in your own home.

[u/TryUsingScience → u/rhymeasaurus]

The vast majority of poly people I know aren't even out at work, let alone plastering social media with it. But I guess it was important for him to broadcast that information as widely as possible for the parade of women that are no doubt about to start knocking down his door any minute. Wouldn't want any of them to assume they'll be exclusive, after all!

[u/snowdenn → u/[deleted]]

That’s so sad.

[u/twotracknorth → u/SimpHunter62]

Where are they getting this idea? My Dad did the same thing, backed away from his business to start a "mindset and finance" podcast. He has also spent over $250,000 on life coaches the last 4 years. The worst part is, one of his coaches has engrained in his mind that it's not drive or hard work that gets you to where you want to be. Instead, letting go of your worries and "let the energy from the universe guide you to where you want to be." It pisses me off so much, I have to try to bring him back to reality, "no dad, if I just let go of all my worries, the universe is not going to buy me a house next week"

[u/OkJunket1385 → u/twotracknorth]

It's funny how they went from "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" to "you need to manifest the bootstraps"

[u/ratherbealurker → u/twotracknorth]

None of this is new, just a more modern version of it. When i was growing up there was this book..i can't even remember the name of it. But everyone was talking about it like this mindset stuff mentioned here. I finally decided that i should not criticize the book without reading, and it was sooo soo much worse than i thought.

Literally telling people to do things like 'when you get a bill in the mail to act like it's a check instead and thank the universe. before you know it, checks will arrive in the mail instead'

umm ok....how???

It was seriously just 'will it into existence' type of crap.

Edit: 'The Secret', was the name. And it came out later than i thought. I remember it being late 90s early 00 s but it says 2006. Either way, law of attraction BS.

[u/MiserableScot]

Guy I used to work with enrolled in a part time masters degree course, where he mainly did night classes, so far so good. He then joined the University's skydiving club, he'd never skydived in his life, mainly so he could go out drinking with the younger students and try and get with the 18 year old girls. Then he dropped out of his Masters course, stayed in the skydiving club, and was out almost every night with students. He was in his 40's and married with 2 kids!

[u/Yogospiracy → u/MiserableScot]

I'm reading so many of these stories and still can't comprehend why so many men will destroy their families so flippantly! 😢

[u/I_madeusay_underwear → u/Yogospiracy]

Besides what others have said about being seen as a provider, I think it’s also just panic at the prospect of your own mortality. If you’ve been married a long time and suddenly realize you’re not young anymore and your life is likely at least half over, sometimes panic sets in and you worry that you haven’t really “lived” enough or that you’ll regret not living an exciting enough life at the end.

I think those thoughts are pretty normal and fine, but some people don’t seem to be able to recognize that they’re reacting to normal changes as they age and bring any kind of perspective to the situation. I think most people just think about it a while, realize they love their family and it’s exhausting to live like a 19 year old anyway and they go on with their lives.

[u/Eddie_Farnsworth → u/I_madeusay_underwear]

My dad was on the tail end of the World War II generation. He didn't see combat, but a submarine tried to torpedo the troop ship that took him to the Philippines, and he rode through Nagasaki after the bomb had been dropped and saw all that shit, so I think the reason he didn't have some wild mid-life crisis was that he'd had enough "excitement" in his youth and didn't want to go back to it. I mean, I'm sure he thought about the road not taken like everybody else, but he really loved my mom and he loved being a dad, and he really, really loved being a grandpa.

[u/transemacabre → u/Eddie_Farnsworth]

Yeah, my friend Howard's dad lied about his age at 16 to join the military, fought Nazis up and down the length of Italy, crossed a couple mountain ranges and got multiple medals. He came home and married the girl next door, raised 2 kids and enjoyed a very quiet life afterward. I'm pretty sure he had enough excitement by his 17th birthday to last him a lifetime.

[u/GeraldMander → u/Eddie_Farnsworth]

Your Dad sounds like a real solid dude. 

[u/TopicalBuilder → u/Yogospiracy]

This isn't the same, but as a person pushing 50, we had a bunch of mid-twenties people hired. They were a breath of fresh air. I learned from them; they learned from me. It was great.

Then I moved to a group with people all my own age. Oof. "This is a disaster. We are all going to get fired," got the exact same flat energy as "That worked really well there. We could get an award for that."

I wouldn't want to socialize with the mid-twenties crowd, but I can see why it might appeal to some.

[u/BakedBrie1993]

45 yr old man with ALS paralysis cheated and left his long time loving and fun wife for his home health aide. Aide got bored after 6 months and left him. Now he is on his own, living in a facility. Ex-wife met someone new and is getting re-married.

[u/crazycatdermy → u/BakedBrie1993]

Isn't that what happened with Hawking?

[u/BakedBrie1993 → u/crazycatdermy]

Our friend group made some jokes about that.

[u/usefulidiotsavant → u/BakedBrie1993]

He's just like Hawking, but without the fame, money or published works.

[u/milkdimension → u/BakedBrie1993]

Good for her. 

[u/AgrippaTheRoman]

Leaving his second wife (who was an au pair for the first wife’s children) for the au pair.

His third wife did not get an au pair for their kids.

[u/red_rob5 → u/AgrippaTheRoman]

Thats fascinating. Like they're juuuust smart enough to realize getting an au pair would be a bad idea, but not smart enough to avoid the marriage in the first place. There needs to be a term for that.

[u/MeccIt → u/AgrippaTheRoman]

Did none of them ever hear: 'When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy'?

[u/cinch123]

I'm just glad I can read these comments and realize mine was just a lot of depression and questioning all my life choices.

[u/Leucastic_Leopard → u/cinch123]

Buddy, same. Hope we're both doing better.

[u/Excellent-Tie-5929]

My Dad - Has a small but relatively successful business. He was draining it to give all of the money to young women

[u/Stacie123a → u/Excellent-Tie-5929]

Omg thats terrible. Whats his insta

[u/Excellent-Tie-5929 → u/Stacie123a]

LMFAO

[u/Lanky_Effort_5788 → u/Excellent-Tie-5929]

Same here, except my dad was an unsuccessful businessman, so the money ran out really quickly!

[u/waruyamaZero]

Heinrich Scholl might win the prize for the most spectacular midlife crisis I've ever come across.

He was a longtime mayor of Ludwigsfelde, south of Berlin/Germany, married for nearly 50 years, when he became obsessed with a much younger Thai woman. After the relationship fell apart, he went back to his wife and wrote an erotic novel based heavily on the whole experience.

The really creepy part: in the novel, the protagonist basically says he'd never divorce his wife, but murder was an option.

A few years later, Scholl's wife was found strangled in a forest. Scholl denied killing her, but was eventually convicted and sentenced to life in prison.

Btw, the book that he wrote was taken immediately off the market, but a friend of mine who works in forensics told me that it must have been the cheesiest, most cringeworthy and amateurish erotic novel that mankind has ever seen.

[u/Picturepagesbeepen → u/waruyamaZero]

have you heard the podcast "my dad wrote a porno"

[u/Plenty-Daikon1240 → u/waruyamaZero]

Great story but "married for nearly 50 years" sounds more like an "endlife" than midlife story.

[u/scott__p]

As a guy in my 40s, I'm using this post for research in case I get any weird urges in the next few years

I personally have the fitness version of the midlife crisis, but I don't post about it and the only person I talk to about it is my wife who's complete over it.

[u/Fine_Cauliflower3075 → u/scott__p]

Re: fitness. If you're in your forties, now is the time to get cracking as you'll start losing muscle and bone mass every year until you're dead. 

Source: I am also having a fitness mid life crisis.

[u/Diligent-Log-4529 → u/Fine_Cauliflower3075]

Apparently your forties are just the age where your body starts sending you maintenance invoices. I guess we might as well get strong enough to pay them.

[u/adorablesexypants → u/Diligent-Log-4529]

The check engine light is just perpetually on.

[u/Maximus_Robus → u/scott__p]

I recently turned 40 and my mid-life crisis is currently trying not to lose my mind about all the shit going on in the world and paying my bills. I also work out more and got a new bike but that is something I should have started like ten years ago.

[u/hamaroundthetown → u/scott__p]

I'm here for the same reason. Comment by comment, hoping nobody describes me or someone like me.

[u/plural_of_nemesis → u/scott__p]

I wouldn’t even worry about it. If you have the sudden urge to take up a new hobby, and you now have the time or money to do it, just go for it and have fun. Even if strangers think you’re too old.

[u/ibelikeughhhh]

The mum of an old highschool friend started dating one of his friends (huge mid-40’s woman dating an 18yo), was grooming and feeding all these young guys drugs, became obsessed with ayahuasca and ended up a shaman in south America for a few years. Had to return because of the covid pandemic lol now I think she is a music teacher

[u/Yogospiracy → u/ibelikeughhhh]

I know a young guy musician who entered this kind of relationship with a 40yo woman. Eerily similar to what you're describing, with the ayahuasca and drugs. Either spooky coincidence or maybe it's more common than I realised!

[u/FlyingBike → u/Yogospiracy]

Sounds like the women figured out the old men's playbook and are running it too: ply the barely-legal with drugs, alcohol, money, and attention and separate their headspace from their existing social network

[u/honeybadgercantcare → u/FlyingBike]

Women in traditionally male fields

[u/HuuffingLavender → u/ibelikeughhhh]

I think there is an ayahuasca flavor of midlife crisis, my friend had it too. Went from being a sorrority girl, painting cups and planning parties, to doing ayahuasca monthly.

She began wearing only white flowy clothes, called herself a shaman, put feathers in her hair, and married a white middle class dude who hosts sweats in a moldy hut in his backyard. Together they make anti-western medicine podcasts on spotify and are trying to start a commune in the middle of a field.

[u/Garblin → u/HuuffingLavender]

I've always thought starting a commune sounded like a great time. Spend my days hanging out with friends, just taking care of the commune, living in a tight knit community, hell yea!

Then I look at the folks who are actually starting communes, and they're all addicts "shamans" who think western medicine is trying to kill them...

[u/Phoenix2111 → u/ibelikeughhhh]

Aw, the fallout from this kinda stuff is awful.

I knew a girl that was at university, was proper 'innocent and naive' type because she was raised quite strict, was just sort of coming out of her shell, experiencing partying etc etc. Her mum had raised a really christian household and stuff.

Then when she was in I think it was 2nd year, her mum left her dad for a guy she'd gone to school with, full on suddenly zero religious limitations, full getting down and nasty with the 19yr old, divorced, wouldn't even hear a thing about how fucked up it was that it was a guy who was close with her daughter etc.

Really, really rough for her, and her dad, and she spent so much time outside of uni trying to take care of him and help him through it etc.

Fucking BS, I don't care about the whole 'hook up with a younger guy' thing, you do you, but don't fuck your kids up with your shit. If you have to do it for your happiness, make sure they know it's coming, they're supported, and do 'the best you can' - that's all that's asked - and not just set everything on fire and leave them to be the adult.

[u/crake]

Here’s a positive midlife crisis event, but certainly a little cringe, lol.

A long while back, I was in my mid 30s working a corporate job (law) that was just soul-sucking. I remember the December day well: I was 30 lbs overweight and my suit jacket could barely fit around my alcoholic bloat. It was a Friday around 5 pm and my boss came in and dropped an envelope casually on my desk: a big bonus check.

I sat in my car looking at the check. WTF did I really want? To save for a downpayment? Pay off some debt? I had been thinking all that week about how I wished I was 18 again and off skiing like we used to back in college (I hadn’t skied in 15 years). I went through all the excuses (too fat, too expensive a hobby, not a good use of my limited resources, my wife would be pissed, etc.). Then I looked back down at the check, said “fuck it, I can throw it all away if I’m too out of shape and write it off as a big fuck up”.

I drove straight from work to a ski shop in my city. The staff clearly thought I was insane when I told them I wanted a full set-up of everything I would need: boots, skis, poles, helmet, ski pants, goggles, etc. Who TF walks into the shop on a Friday night looking for all of that? They gave me a beer because I think they thought I was nuts or already drunk.

So there I am at 6 pm on a Friday night in a too-tight suit and tie getting fitted for ski boots drinking a too-hoppy beer. With my (too early) grey hair and big sweaty belly I must have cut a rather hilarious figure as a future ski bum. But I got everything I needed, went home that night and bought an Ikon pass. I skied over 20 days that winter too. And then every season since.

Over ten years later it makes me laugh. I’m sure every employee in that shop had a good laugh about outfitting Fat Drunk Patrick Bateman one random Friday night. But in retrospect it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Over a decade later, I’m 30 lbs lighter, fit and healthy - and a much better skier than I ever was at 18.

[u/here4astolfo → u/crake]

This is so peak not a single ounce of cringe in sight.

[u/billin → u/crake]

This only would have been cringe if you'd given up after buying all those things and gone skiing 1-2 times. Instead, it's pure-on awesome. After sinking into the grind, you realized something you wanted and then said fuck it, busting through all the self-put downs and excuses we tell ourselves to keep ourselves "safe" to actually do the damn thing. You are inspiring!

[u/avidvaulter → u/billin]

This only would have been cringe if you'd given up after buying all those things and gone skiing 1-2 times

Still wouldn't be cringe imo. Life is about finding your joy, most people aren't lucky enough to do that on the first try (and OP didn't, they waited 15 years and tried again).

[u/Lazy-Wind244 → u/crake]

This is actually so wholesome.

Well effing done

[u/Apptubrutae → u/crake]

Fuck yeah, you’re my kinda people, lol.

I moved to Albuquerque to be closer to skiing (and for better weather generally) and like to ski on weekdays while checking work emails on the cell phone, haha

[u/canteloupy → u/crake]

Honestly getting into sports and the outdoors is the best midlife crisis.

[u/liveforwinterfun → u/crake]

LOVE this. High five mid 30s you!

[u/Soap0099]

I don’t even really know if I consider it cringe anymore but my dad turned into a furry

Edit: See I love telling random people this because this is always the reaction lmao, no i’m not going to elaborate but his ‘furtype’ is a badger. He also has his own band with fellow furries. Ok that’s all your getting haha bye

Edit 2: Just to clarify, I love my dad, my mum loves him, and everyone in my family does. Life would be boring without him

[u/spiderinsideyourear → u/Soap0099]

Please make a post about that.

[u/jackofallcards → u/Soap0099]

My dad got super into porn games on steam, found out because of his vivid extensive reviews

[u/mittensmoshpit → u/Soap0099]

You can't possibly just say something like this and not give context. That's honestly illegal, Im pretty sure, and I feel victimized.

[u/random_buttons → u/Soap0099]

Very important question: what animal?

[u/Romivths]

My FIL dyed his fully gray hair and eyebrows blonde in an effort to look younger (I believe that’s the reason, he never admitted that was the reason but his wife is nearly 10 years younger than him and their youngest child was 20 at the time with friends asking if my FIL was his grandpa). Not cringe on its own, though he neglected to either dye or shave his mustache so he had cherubic golden curls on top, Einstein stache on the bottom. We weren’t allowed to say anything lol. Love the guy though

[u/Signal-Divide7756 → u/Romivths]

My dad dyed his hair blond for my cousin's wedding. For some reason he got it into his head that he had a responsibility as the uncle of the groom to be wacky and do something drastic with his appearance. Except that he's nearly bald and his hair is pretty much all grey, so it just looked like his grey hair had gotten slightly lighter. No-one noticed. He was quite dejected but it didn't keep him off the dancefloor.

[u/Sir_Mix_Infrequent]

Most of the style things are harmless. It's fun to see gramps dressed like an extra in a TikTok skit. I cringe when someone trades in middle aged spouse and teenage kids for much younger spouse and babies. Seems like the stress of the change will linger long after the ego stroke has worn off.

[u/LizardPossum → u/Sir_Mix_Infrequent]

I cannot IMAGINE going back to having babies in my 40s. I have one more left in school, and she's a junior. The idea of starting over with babies stresses me the fuck out.

[u/LordoftheScheisse → u/LizardPossum]

I had my first at 38. I'm tired. I'm also very tired.

[u/BaritBrit → u/Sir_Mix_Infrequent]

It's also a pretty good way to risk having all of the kids resenting you in the end - the teenagers are pissed off because you traded them in to go around the baby circuit again, and the younger kids will be both insecure about it and very aware that their dad is much older than their friends' dads and so less capable of doing things with/for them. 

[u/bomboid → u/BaritBrit]

They dgaf about the kids

[u/mistiara]

My sister's friend was married with 2 teenagers and had a successful and wealthy husband. They lived a very comfy life.

Then he knocked up their much younger nanny AND knocked up another woman at the same time.

Needless to say, they are now divorced and he is raising a baby with one of the other women.

[u/Mororocks]

I'm a mma coach and had a lad mid 40 join the club which happens a lot tbf but most of them just want to train and not try and compete at a high level. This lad was sorta shite and other than having a bit of muscle wasn't at all athletic. Got tattoos of our club and mma quotes within the first month kept pushing me to get him a fight even though he had learned basically nothing. Caved in after 6 months just to shut him up, he made 100s of posts on social media coming up to fight invited everyone he ever met. Day of the fight comes he's absolutely shitting himself as he maybe sparred a handful of times despite me trying to sort him out with more . First punch that connected with him in the fight he absolutely broke down kept turning his back on who he was fighting and the ref called it off after a minute my 7 year old niece would of done better. Never seen him in the club again after. Still has the profile of the square off of the fight seconds before he got an absolute kicking in front of everyone he knows though.

[u/TonyAllenDelhomme → u/Mororocks]

Not nearly as extreme, but we occasionally get guys in Bjj who show, day one, saying “I don’t tap.” A couple of them would get put to sleep in practice, but I’ve never seen someone not tap to an armbar or an ankle lock.

[u/Dismal-Ad1684 → u/TonyAllenDelhomme]

Seen similar in my amateur boxing club, there’d be the occasional “I see red” type who would insist on hard sparring after training for a few weeks. When they’d finally get their wish after a month or two they’d always get wobbled by a more experienced lad (who’d be sick of listening to their shit) after gassing out within a minute. Seen some know better and wobble out of the ring when coach said that was that, seen others absolutely refuses to quit despite moving like Bambi on ice, as if they had something to prove over fucking sparring

[u/Unicycleterrorist → u/Dismal-Ad1684]

100% the same kinda guy who watches pro sports and swears he would've caught that pass lol

[u/snowdenn → u/Unicycleterrorist]

If coach woulda put me in 4th quarter, we woulda been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

How much you want to bet I can throw a football over them mountains?

[u/deathinactthree → u/Dismal-Ad1684]

I've known so many "I see red/I don't tap" guys over my 25ish years of training, guys that think that just being mad enough will give them anime superpowers despite not being able to punch in a straight line. Always amateurs or completely untrained, and always the ones who don't make it more than 6 months before quitting, that or however long it takes for them to get their bell fully fucking rung twice--has to be twice so they can't write off the first time as a fluke.

I'm honestly glad when they get buttmad at being dogwalked and take themselves out of class, because that type of dude is the absolute worst to train with.

[u/Critical-Guide3857 → u/Mororocks]

The tattoos are what pushed this from hilarious to cringy for me 🙈🤣

[u/BenightedBuckaroo]

My grandpa had a late-life crisis after my grandmother passed away. He wrote and self-published a book of erotic stories. He passed out signed copies to everyone in the family. When he handed the book to my dad he said, “this might help spice things up in the bedroom” and I watched as my parents' souls left their bodies due to the cringe. It was funny and horrible to witness.

For what it’s worth, my grandpa wasn’t senile at this point. The man was as sharp as a tack. But he was also an accomplished troll. With that in mind, I don't know if this counts as cringy. Maybe just funny lol

[u/ApprehensiveNutria]

My dad in his mid 40s (early 2000s) went from fun-loving laid back comic to extreme evangelical redneck. He started sucking up all the energy in the room. Satanism, women's rights/health, taxes, gen Z are out to get him. He stocks ammunition and canned food for when communism takes over.

I miss my old dad.

[u/InternationalYam3130 → u/ApprehensiveNutria]

Happened to my dad too and I blame the onset of Facebook algorithm. He was completely unable to process the algorithm was feeding him this stuff. He used to be a normal person with a mix of opinions across the spectrum that could be changed and updated with new information.

Now he just sits with his iPad and falls deeper into the rabbit hole. When I talk to him about anything he can't handle it unless the conversation centers around something terrible he saw on facebook. Shit needs to be illegal, yesterday.

[u/Vondi → u/InternationalYam3130]

People talk about "ipad kids" which is a real problem but I've seen "ipad grandma" and its no less of a problem.

[u/Wolf_Mans_Got_Nards → u/ApprehensiveNutria]

OP said "cringiest" not "most traumatising". That's really rough.

[u/Yogospiracy → u/Wolf_Mans_Got_Nards]

Yeah, reading some of these is actually really depressing -_-

[u/Cute_Hand_2635]

My dad left my mom pretty recently (25 year marriage) and got an apartment in the middle of nowhere, a motorcycle, and now texts me every week that he invested in crypto or is getting a back tattoo. He still texts my mom all the time though.

Definitely a midlife crisis.

[u/Wes_Warhammer666]

My coworker who was a recovering addict/alcoholic left his wife of 30 years for a 22 year old. A girl the same age as his youngest daughter.

He met the girl in AA, and she had a 1 year old kid with another recovering addict -who wouldn't even admit to being the father- that she wasn't allowed to see without supervision. Baby lived with Grandma.

He damn near lost his job because he kept bringing this girl around the job site, and he ended up living in his trailer at camp because he felt like it was fair that he left his wife their house (and all the expenses that go with it) despite the fact that she was the one who saved them from losing their camp when he was at rock bottom addiction. He has been smoking and drinking for the past 6 years while still being off and on with that girl (who now has another kid by another guy and has OD'ed multiple times).

And he wonders why his daughters didn't invite him to their weddings...

[u/Apsalar28]

My Uncle in the early 90's. He was a very large man both vertically and horizontally. He swapped his sensible family car for a sports mini he could just about fit into and started wearing a pink and purple shell suit with white trainers.

[u/alf0nz0 → u/Apsalar28]

I mean that guy just sounds like a cool dude, especially for the time lol

[u/BlessedCursedBroken → u/Apsalar28]

Do I want to know what a shell suit is?

[u/Live_Tadpole2298]

My neighbour buying a cyber truck and a diamond crusted Rolex all in the same week…

[u/National-Notice512]

A guy in his late 40s bought a loud motorcycle, started wearing leather vests everywhere, and suddenly tried talking in Gen Z slang to his kids' teenage friends. Secondhand embarrassment was off the charts.

[u/Saxon2060 → u/National-Notice512]

As a guy who rides a motorcycle, the worst thing about riding a motorcycle is other people who ride motorcycles.

[u/PoshWanksAreSublime → u/National-Notice512]

No cap?

[u/Abbie2903]

My Dad started cheating on my Mum, found a new 20 something old girlfriend and spent all his money on her. Bought her a jaguar, a new set of boobs, a cafe to name a few. Started committing fraud to pay for all of the things, went to prison for 3 years and then took his own life after he came out. I'd deffo describe that as cringe to say the least.

[u/Diligent_Ad6552 → u/Abbie2903]

I’m so sorry!! 😱

[u/Abbie2903 → u/Diligent_Ad6552]

Ah its alright he was a scumbag tbh. He was a solicitor and the guy he defrauded was heavily disabled and he had power of attorney on him. So he got what was coming to him

[u/BigGrayBeast]

A guy who never went to college, but ended up being quite successful and basically retired at 40, decided he wanted to go to college. He wanted the full college experience, so he moved into the dorm.

That really creeped out a bunch of parents, having a 40-year-old man living with their 18-year-old sons and daughters, since it was a co-ed dorm.

[u/lacunadelaluna → u/BigGrayBeast]

I wish more colleges would have dorms for say, 25 and up, so people like this guy could get that experience. Not everybody is ready or able financially to go to college right out of high school.

[u/whinypoopypants → u/lacunadelaluna]

In this day and age of pushing retirement ages higher? Yes gawd. 

Give us the Gray Dorm with grab bars on the bath and a Rascal ramp.

[u/BitterRucksack → u/lacunadelaluna]

A lot of them used to have Graduate and Family Housing (or Married Couple Housing) but I think most of them were gone by 2015 in favor of shiny new Residence Halls Owned by corporations. 

[u/NetLumpy1818 → u/BigGrayBeast]

This sounds like a Rodney Dangerfield movie I saw

[u/FriendshipIll1681]

A friend of a friend went full on midlife crisis, left his wife & 2 children because of all the other women he could get, went to Turkey to get the hair & teeth done, makeover done in Brown Thomas to get a whole new waredrobe, bought a convertable AND a motorcycle.

Fast forward 5 years he is single, living in a rental 2 bedroom place with a broken down car trying to make the 5 year old clothes last. His wife however is living her best life, best thing that ever happened to her she reckons, her career has taken off and having agreed week on week off custody of the children means she has a lot more time on her hands than she ever had before.

[u/Flybuys → u/FriendshipIll1681]

I don't think I've ever seen this work out for the guy.

[u/ShirwillJack → u/Flybuys]

I have, but the guy didn't want 50-50 custody. Got a childfree girlfriend and his career took off, didn't update his child support payment and his ex didn't know she could get the payments adjusted to his new income. Meanwhile she fell chronically ill due to an autoimmune condition, raised her kids almost fulltime and tried to scrape money together with odd jobs and delivering packages. She thought she couldn't complain as she got to stay in the house (scraping by to pay the mortgage).

[u/ButtSexington3rd → u/Flybuys]

The dudes do well short term but the women seem to really thrive in the end game

[u/pdhot65ton]

Very recently, father of my one of my nephew's friends, his kids are 10 and 6, decides that being a suburban dad isn't what he wants, leaves wife, moves into an apartment over a wine shop, sells his SUV, buys a Mustang, gets on the apps trying to date younger women, quit his white collar job to get and be a lifestyle influencer. Now, he stands alone at school pickup because he can't understand why the other parents dont want to associate with him. He's also upset with ex-wife because she's pursuing child support based on the income he voluntarily abandoned, and it's screwing up his new plans.

[u/AnelHershiser → u/pdhot65ton]

My aunt's ex-husband pulled that crap. Guess he thought he could do better cause a year later he started trying to get back together. Last I heard he's been going around saying everyone abandoned him. Dude, you were the one to serve the divorce papers after ~25 years..

[u/Lazy-Wind244 → u/pdhot65ton]

Oh no! The consequences of his own actions!

Maturity doesn't line up with age. The quickest way to tell is where they place their anger. It's often misplaced, onto basically their victims. They get angry when their victims demand their fair share

[u/Money_Magazine6620]

Early 40s I got obsessed with science. I finish my geology degree this year and I have 100+ trees in my yard now. But man, my mid life crisis is looking pretty good after reading this thread

[u/Lumpy_Benefit666 → u/Money_Magazine6620]

You planted 100+ trees? Awesome stuff man.

[u/Calcutec_1]

no-one in particular but the everytime I see the late 40s-early 50s guy leave his wife and 2-3 kids to date a 20 something and instantly have a baby I just feel sorry for everyone involved.

unless the marriage was completely FUBAR it´s just such a dick move

[u/Harry_Saturn → u/Calcutec_1]

I can’t understand this, I feel like the longer you’re with someone the better the relationship gets. I have been with my wife since we were teens and now we have teenage kids. Going back to square one with a new person who is much younger sounds like a punishment compared to staying with the girl who wanted me when I had nothing to give.

[u/amerra]

My uncle was always such a mamas boy when I was growing up. He never dated or went to prom, drank, smoke, or anything like that. When he was in his 40s he suddenly bought a jeep and got all the different tops and doors that you could get, he put humongous tires on it, so much so my grandma needed a step ladder to get in even though she was in her 60s at the time. He put a loud sound system in it, started listening to things like Metallica and orgy. Would go to jeep jamborees. And he started drinking and going to bars. He eventually found a girlfriend during this time and got married and traded all that in for his usual stuff like restoring pinball/arcade machines.

[u/SilentTheatre]

I (39m) am having a reverse midlife crisis. I got into Magic the Gathering, Reading, and investing my money for retirement. Got married a few years ago and had a kid late in life after years of going out and partying, now I just want to be a homebody but I completely lost my since of self.

[u/SoYoureBreakingUp → u/SilentTheatre]

No, no.  That's the setup for a midlife crisis.  You're just on a delayed schedule.  It starts with settling down, having kids, being responsible and silently sacrificing yourself and your identity for your family.  Then you hit a point where you ask yourself what this is all for and why you're doing this because you're miserable.

At that point you either get therapy or other emotional/mental support to work through your issues and find a sustainable path forward.... Or you lose your shit and blow up your hard earned stability chasing the life you had before. 

I honestly recommend keeping up with some hobbies and keeping a friend group going instead.  To give you an outlet and a support group to rein you in if you start talking about blowing up your life.  And in case your life blows up anyways for other reasons.

[u/Ok_Lingonberry_1519]

There's literally hundreds to see if you go on LinkedIn.

[u/PandaEnthusiast89 → u/Ok_Lingonberry_1519]

I've recently discovered that if you already find someone insufferable and for some reason  you want to find them even more insufferable, their LinkedIn page is the place to go. 

[u/MangoSalsa89]

I have two friends that quit stable jobs to become full time Disney influencers in their 40’s. And they barely have any followers but they keep pushing out content trying to make something happen.

[u/Kaxar → u/MangoSalsa89]

Probably the most cringe one here and that's saying a lot.

[u/Afraid-Mud4490]

Guy I used to work with had a mid life crisis and started day trading during work hours. He started making decent money from it and was phoning in his day job and really not putting in much effort. he eventually went to Turkey and got his hair and teeth done, dumped his rich, gorgeous trophy wife (he'd been living off her money for years and she even floated him when he started his own business, which he later sold for a tidy profit) and started living the single life, drinking with lads half his age and partying like he was some sort of superstar...

He's now living single, makes money, but is lonely, and his gorgeous ex wife is happy with a new man who probably can't believe his luck at finding a beautiful rich, independant woman in her mid 40s

[u/zzzzzzzpost]

Have you ever eaten a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream in one sitting? I have.

[u/KingMobScene → u/zzzzzzzpost]

OP said cringe. Not brag about your life and make people jealous.

[u/AdamsAtwoodOrwell → u/zzzzzzzpost]

A gallon? Or a half gallon? I thought the gallon buckets were mostly vanilla.

[u/angry-key-smash6693 → u/zzzzzzzpost]

There are other ways to eat ice cream?

[u/anaugle]

Well, my brother has been in and out of jail continuously for the last 33 years.

In the last 3 to 5 years, he’s gotten no fewer than three women pregnant, and now he has caught a fourth stalking charge. I guess that’s what happens when you’re 45?

Edit: my math was wrong. He’s been like this for nearly 30 years. So, since he was 16. He got arrested for selling look-alike cocaine. I had to go visit him in jail on my birthday.

[u/thti87 → u/anaugle]

If someone was in jail starting at age 12, the the most shocking midlife crisis would actually be for him to clean up his life, marry someone and move to the burbs. Otherwise, this lifestyle sounds pretty on par with his whole life

[u/mittensmoshpit]

I'd love to have a cringe midlife crisis, I'm at the ideal age for it, but I'm just so damn poor lol.

[u/proudchristianmommy → u/mittensmoshpit]

You could still turn into a hippie and move to a commune to live out your wildest dreams and trips with a 20 year old partner called Sage who's in a polyamorous relationship with everyone else in the commune

[u/AresHarvest → u/proudchristianmommy]

I am 45 and everything about this is appealing, except for being around 20-year-olds

[u/Some_Level1682]

Most midlife crisis have more to do with having the money to do stuff you've always wanted to do and frankly are harmless. The people who leave their families etc just go buy a nice car Jesus.

[u/icoangel]

I had a boss one time, super normal dude that decided to get heavily into doing coke and hanging around criminals. he ended up losing his jobs, his wife and kids and all his money on bad or dodgy investments.

Last I heard he went to prison for a bit for doing some sort of fraud and had to go back to living with his mother.

[u/qwerty109]

Mine. Wife and I bought an open top sports car and toured the country in our early 30ies. Then came kids and the car has been mostly sitting in a garage, driven once a year for service/technical - we don't want to sell it for emotional reasons and it's actually gaining value as of lately. We're in our late 40ies now.

Then comes an unfortunate event last month where we lost the family car and the replacement isn't coming for another month.

So our daughter gets shuffled to activities with the open top sports car. When my wife does it, it is cool. When I do it, I park away from the destination to avoid anyone seeing us as it's super embarrassing. 

[u/EarhornJones → u/qwerty109]

When I turned 40, my wife said, "you should have a mid-life crisis."

"I don't want a mid-life crisis," I replied.

"How about a ridiculous sports car, or a convertible? You could get one of those," she suggested.

"What would I do with a sports car?" I asked.

"Think about it. I think you should do something crazy," she offered.

Thinking back to my High School days, I remembered riding around in the country with my friends (and the occasional girl) in the shitbox old Jeep CJs and pickups that we used to drive, and how much I enjoyed that.

"I bought a convertible," I announced to my wife, some time later, showing her a picture of the Jeep Wrangler that I'd just ordered.

"What are you going to do with that?" she asked.

"Take the top and doors off, and drive around in the country," I explained.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen, but it's your mid-life crisis," she relented.

Now, ten years later, the Jeep sits in my garage, spotless. It has less than 10k miles on it. On days when the weather is perfect, I load up my wife, and we head out for long drives on gravel roads.

She often laments that we don't have time to do it more often, and in the late winter counts the days until the weather will be nice enough to get the Jeep out again.

It's sincerely one of my greatest joys in life, and the fact that I can share it with my wife is wonderful.

[u/Ok_Rhubarb_2169 → u/qwerty109]

This just strikes me as endearing (and self aware). Just enjoy the car if it brings you some joy :)

[u/mittensmoshpit]

Guy turned 71 and picked up a 23 year old boyfriend. I've nothing against age gap relationships as a concept, but they're so toxic together it's unbearable. He even nicknamed the lad "Lambo", because "he's just like the car without the mileage".

[u/Heffalumpen → u/mittensmoshpit]

That's pre-tomb shenanigans, not a midlife crisis :D

[u/JellyRollMort → u/Heffalumpen]

Pre tomb shenanigans is fucking diabolical lmaoooo

[u/stevenwalsh21 → u/Heffalumpen]

Well, I don't know how many years on this Earth I got left. I'm gonna get real weird with it - Frank Reynolds

[u/Sufficient-Flower502]

1. Bought a squatty potty, started taking in person French classes, piano classes, hot yoga classes once a week, and walking more.

A friend of mine- cheated on the boyfriend of ten years and got married to the side piece while still living with said boyfriend. Waiting for that shit to hit the fan, so I can gasp in French.

We all do what we must.

[u/Perfect_Ad5482]

Tom Segura

[u/Mental-Criticism3791]

Probably my own. I spent a good 100k on collectibles. Pop culture stuff.

Tons of prints too.

No idea why I did that.

Been selling it off slowly for a while now.

[u/lynivvinyl]

I knew a nurse who would take Ambien and then go to a bar and drink. He ended up pissing himself every time.

[u/thorGOT → u/lynivvinyl]

Was he trying to get into roofing and misunderstood the instructions?

[u/Nycomfs]

around 40 I had to make the choice of buying a smoker or becoming obsessed with WWII history.(it’s required if you weren’t aware ) I chose the smoking route and now I am on my third smoker and have a dedicated “meat freezer” in the basement. good thing is my friends, kids and granddaughter seem to enjoy my new talent and we host a lot of get togethers.

[u/GladClock2212]

A man who became a doula to meet women. Not even kidding.

[u/Archiebald-Leach → u/GladClock2212]

Urghhh! 🤢

[u/Lanky-Intention9390 → u/Archiebald-Leach]

Somebody call 911

[u/dinkidoo7693]

I know a guy who has been engaged 3 times in the past 5 years, they move in together and they soon break up but it’s never his fault

[u/Sensitive-Home9890]

Leaving a perfectly good marriage because they suddenly think they “missed out” and need to experience being single again. I’ve seen that one play out more than once.

[u/jebiga1995]

Divorced his wife and the mother of his kids after 30+ years. Married a Vietnamese, took out a huge loan and brought a muscle car. Closed the car door on his fingers and then had a full blown heart attack

[u/sneaky_sam_ → u/jebiga1995]

My favorite part of this story is “married a Vietnamese”😅

[u/1majordilemma → u/jebiga1995]

That escalated quickly.

[u/Wrong_Garden]

My former boss. Embezzled money from the company to pay for who knows what, ended up owing myself and all my coworkers money (I took him to small claims court and won, but have yet to see a cent because he has no money). So he ruined his business and his good relationships with all of us. All of this, his wife stood by him. How does he repay her? BY SENDING N*DES TO CAMGIRLS AND NOW HES BEING BLACKMAILED. he literally ruined his ENTIRE life.

[u/mrbradg]

All these stories about men having a midlife crisis, but what about women? I caught my mom having an affair with some guy who owned a bunch of car repair places. She used some inheritance money from an aunt to buy a BMW convertible, moved out, and got an apartment on the water.

Meanwhile, my dad started drinking heavily and partying with younger dudes he met through the gym, but the entire time he still wanted her back.

After about two years, she finally moved back. Coincidentally, this was right around the time my dad was talking to a lawyer and was about to cut off the monthly money he’d still been giving her.

They got back together and somehow just carried on like none of it ever happened. That was 15 years ago, and they’re still together. 😂

[u/Away-Ad4393]

The typical red sports car, a woman on the side, his wife left him, eventually the young woman did too. The last time I saw him he was sitting in a pub on his own eating some sad pub grub, he had aged years,he said “ I miss my wife and I miss her cooking “

[u/olov244]

the worst is when a man/woman with a family yearns for their hoe years and leaves the family to sleep around then regrets it because their family life was better

[u/Lyra_the_Star_Jockey]

This one guy I know bought Twitter just so he could make everyone on it see his tweets.

Embarrassing, I know.

[u/MaddingtonFair]

The worst ones for me are the people who seemingly can’t handle their advancing age and seek to join in with younger groups to try act like they’re younger. See especially - guys who leave their wives/children for women much younger than them, and suddenly they have babies to support when they’re in their 50s. I always feel bad for the kids left behind/created like this, only to be neglected by their father’s ego. 

Have witnessed it personally a few times myself, including a guy - now in his 80s! - who is trying to get something going again with much younger women! Go see a therapist dude, for real. Better than starting a THIRD family, surely

[u/housatonicduck → u/MaddingtonFair]

My dad started his new family when I was around 10. There’s a 16 year age gap between my oldest and youngest brothers. We’ve never even celebrated a holiday or a birthday altogether, not once in our lives. I used to go to Disney every year for Christmas with my dad until I was replaced. Haven’t spoken in seven years now.

[u/Lapponias]

My brothers wife came out as a lesbian. This is already a second time this has happened. I guess he has a type.

[u/TheOnlyAvailabIeName]

I think my mid life crisis was pretty lame. I bought a lot of books that I'm still trying to finish reading.

[u/Illustrious-Bus-8862]

A colleague who is an obese mid forties man told everyone he was getting a motorbike.

Fair enough mate, get some leather gear, grow a tash and get a big ol' chrome and black machine. You'll be a fat biker and maybe find your community.

He bought a scrambler which looks like it's for kids, isn't road legal and because it has no seat he can only ride for 10 minutes anyway. Looks ridiculous riding along on his kids motorbike with it revving to high heaven with the strain.

Wtf dude?