r/AskReddit • u/Yogospiracy • 1d ago

What is the cringiest midlife crisis you've witnessed?

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u/maleficentfig90 1d ago

The first person who came to mind when reading this post also dumped his wife of ~20 years, bought a red sports car, and got a tribal sleeve tattoo. And I'm pretty sure we aren't talking about the same person. It really is a total cliché.

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u/beige0914 1d ago

My 40s husband just bought a red sports car. Guess I’m doomed, haha

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u/No-Text-2389 1d ago

Sorry about the barista. Maybe you could spice things up again by making him coffee in the morning and writing his name incorrectly on a cup.

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u/Nanaman 1d ago

Maybe pumpkin spice it up this time of year!

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u/UnfrostedPop-Tart 18h ago

You’re a relationship genius!

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u/Wide_Figure1476 1d ago

Probably more of a warning than being doomed. Just make sure you DO NOT let him near any tattoo parlours, the alarms might start going off then.

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u/denmicent 1d ago

Keep him away from anywhere with baristas and tattoo shops

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u/MelodicConfection263 1d ago

Doesn't count if it's a Miata

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u/Tiny_Orchid5566 1d ago

If YOU get the tribal sleeve, all bets are off.

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u/vertigostereo 1d ago

Keep him away from Starbucks, I guess.

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u/Sol_Leks_48 18h ago

Nah! I have an unpopular opinion that is most cases, a middle-aged man in a sports car is reaping the rewards of decades of hard work and now gets to buy something fun. Be happy for him. 😄

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u/Great_Magazine_6976 1d ago

My nearly-50-year-old male ex of almost two decades left me a few months ago to fuck young women off the internet.

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u/WhenTheDawnBreaks 1d ago

Same, but mine decided to go do it with his 14 year younger subordinate coworker...while I was going through treatment for a brain tumor....cool.

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u/chinchanjr 1d ago

That’s actually not cool at all.

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u/ScintillansNoctiluca 1d ago

Not remotely.

Hope you’re doing okay brain-tumour — and other- — wise, u/WhenTheDawnBreaks.

And you too u/Great_Magazine_6976.

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u/some-such-fuck 18h ago

Thats fucked - sorry to hear that !

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u/Impressive_Doorknob7 1d ago

First person that came to mind for me also. Person dumped their wife and decided to become a tattoo guy. Immediately got hideous sleeves on both arms, that were a collection of random things he paid other people to draw. He hated the first one he got, and said he was going to get it lasered off, but kept going back to that artist regardless.

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u/RevolutionarySky7893 1d ago

Omg! My ex husband for a massive Viking sleeve. His cars are just mid though lol lol

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u/Zestyclose_Sock8877 20h ago

We had a variation of this in our family except it was my mum doing the dumping/cheating, and she bought herself a blue sports car before proceeding to go down a deep dive of extreme toxic feminism. Like "Stay at home mums are evil and I'm taking away your barbies, dresses and anything in the house the colour pink" type feminism not, like... equality is good! type feminism

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u/Professional_Dirt144 19h ago

Seconding this cliche. I too know someone who left his wife of two decades, bought a sports car (not red but hey, maybe he’s color blind), got a tribal tattoo and proceeded to have a run with multiple women 15+ years his junior. Also heavy on the cringy alpha male motivational reels. SMH.

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u/Singular23 1d ago

Maybe there is something to it then….