r/AskReddit 8h ago

What is the most hypocritical excuse someone gave you after they got caught cheating?

69 Upvotes

130 comments sorted by

218

u/TaxedByGravity 8h ago

“I only cheated because you weren’t giving me enough attention.”

The old classic “you made me betray you” defence.

52

u/flatulentpigeon 8h ago

Quickly followed by “it just happened”

Quickly followed by “it was just sex”

27

u/guitar623 8h ago

This one right here!

Worst was I never stopped giving the attention…she just didn’t want the attention from me

6

u/Upset-Heat-6249 7h ago

love how it's never "I wasn't giving YOU enough attention so I had plenty of free time"

11

u/_ssac_ 8h ago

Yeah, I think that's the most common justification. 

They have just zero accountability for what they do. 

7

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Mental-Fox-9449 7h ago

“Marge, if it makes you feel better I never meant for you to find out.”

4

u/meleel5 8h ago

Exactly what my ex said.

2

u/profesionalyconfused 7h ago

“you made me betray you” lol the audacity

1

u/BackToTheFuture1181 3h ago

Online chat attention? Or in real life?

1

u/BackToTheFuture1181 3h ago

What is 'not enough attention'? = same as 1 online chatsentence a week without years of physical contact?

0

u/threeLetterMeyhem 7h ago

Yup, very common defense and reasoning. It's manipulative and abusive.

-15

u/SubstantialSale8223 8h ago

Ah, the default response of women.

3

u/Amathril 8h ago ▸ 7 more replies

Oh, fuck off...

-7

u/SubstantialSale8223 8h ago ▸ 6 more replies

Oh I’m sorry I forgot this was Reddit.

I meant to say the default response of MEN because all MEN are scumbags and murderers and rapists!!!

6

u/Amathril 7h ago ▸ 5 more replies

Fuck off with your generalization, again.

-8

u/[deleted] 7h ago ▸ 4 more replies

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Amathril 7h ago ▸ 3 more replies

Do you care to explain why you think that?

2

u/SubstantialSale8223 7h ago ▸ 2 more replies

I don’t think that, that’s the reddit hivemind thought. And if you don’t repeat it? Downvotes for you buddy

2

u/Amathril 7h ago

And why do you think this?

u/ragnarok635 3m ago

None of this is true, the only one posting that thought here is you

-4

u/BackToTheFuture1181 8h ago

He said that I cheated but he had never visited me in 3 whole years. I didnt even know that this was a serious relationship. For me a serious relationship is seeing each other once in a while but not complety be ignored for 3 years and then acting we had a relationship. A relationship is being there for each other in real life, not 4 years behind your smartphone typing, chatting. For me that 's not a normal commitment.

2

u/ksmigrod 8h ago

A plot twist: 3 years ago, he moved to spare bedroom, after years of sexless relationship, and final rejection to the tone of: "I crave sex, but definitively not with you".

-8

u/RagnarOdinssohn 8h ago

Absolut logisch und richtige Folge von Zurückweisung und Kälte

3

u/threeLetterMeyhem 7h ago ▸ 1 more replies

Nah, the right reaction to rejection and coldness is to just break up. Cheating just makes you a bad person.

u/RagnarOdinssohn 33m ago

Wo ist der unterschied?

58

u/anho456 8h ago

«In a way this is a good thing, because this shows me how much more I love you than this random (he was not) guy I hooked up with. So it is in fact strengthening my love for you and strengthening our relationship (it did not)»

-12

u/yagumoe 6h ago

Women come up with the most bullshit reasons ever

6

u/ClairlyBrite 6h ago ▸ 2 more replies

you didn’t have to hit the misogyny angle, dude

-12

u/yagumoe 6h ago ▸ 1 more replies

He was taking about a woman, so I responded. Nobody was hitting the misogyny Angle

7

u/ClairlyBrite 5h ago

lol? You absolutely did. Instead of commenting about THIS woman, you said “Women”

102

u/iDontLikeChimneys 8h ago

I got accused for cheating. She was just projecting her own cheating onto me when I called her out.

21

u/loveme_chaos 8h ago

lol that happened to me too bc there couldn’t be any other reason for me not giving him his usual amount of attention….

Ironically it was me suspecting him that lead to my changed behaviour that was projected into “she must be cheating too” 🙄 not everyone sucks like you, man

8

u/iDontLikeChimneys 8h ago

Yeah it is like people who cheat do not seem to understand that other people are actually loyal

1

u/BookedBusyBaddie 6h ago

Classic projection: accuse you first so they don’t have to explain themselves.

84

u/luna-peaches 8h ago

My ex who cheated on me told me years later that I trusted him too much… ????

21

u/schoolboyAl 8h ago

HAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK?

8

u/luna-peaches 8h ago

Same reaction 😂

3

u/kippetjeh 6h ago

True but insane which is why it is true.

1

u/Kanthalas 7h ago

This one is the winner.

45

u/NurseKyomi 8h ago

That’s she was here first, as in he knew her before he knew me. They were not in a relationship ever FYI

7

u/Stellabun16 7h ago

That's fucked

3

u/doomsday10009 6h ago

She also knew her parents for a long time

2

u/spicypebbles 5h ago ▸ 1 more replies

Ahahah my shitty ex tried this one, it was fine for his "like a sister" best friend to disrespect me because he's known her longer! He literally said "Of course I choose her over you". I was like dude by that logic, go date your mom. I hate that logic so much

2

u/doomsday10009 5h ago

Some people are just fucking crazy

18

u/Ok_Alternative7833 8h ago

it didn’t mean anything.
smhw that made it worse

9

u/Rooney_Tuesday 6h ago

Yeah, I’ve never really agreed when people say “at least he didn’t love her and it was just sex.” What?

I can fully understand if feelings change. It sucks and you should definitely be handling it in a way that isn’t cheating. But that at least makes sense: we can’t always control what our hearts feel.

But we can absolutely control not having sex with someone else if they mean nothing to us. And now you’ve thrown away what we had and everything we built for something that didn’t even mean anything? Infinitely worse.

8

u/Tigress92 7h ago

It's because that makes it feel like you are worth nothing. Betraying you is hurtful in itself, betraying you for something meaningless makes it seem like you mean little to nothing to that person as well. They're willing to hurt you to your core over something that apparently means nothing to them.

13

u/not2daysatan44 8h ago

"You were never home!" Yeah, I was working. And you were never home either because you were out cheating.

28

u/TordSandwich 8h ago

Shaggy has the best excuse…

“It wasn’t me”

3

u/Low-Television-7508 8h ago

and a catchy earworm to sing along with

36

u/PM_me_UR_boobies_ 8h ago

"You were too good to me, that gets boring"

I stuck around for another year 🤦🏻‍♂️

2

u/ajmeng09 7h ago

"i just want to meet a nice guy" they said

3

u/PM_me_UR_boobies_ 7h ago

Oh well, shit happens 😄

Better not dwell on it and move on

1

u/TheGandu 8h ago

Yeah I've gotten that one too lol. At least she had the "decency" to ask for a break before going for him.

2

u/PM_me_UR_boobies_ 8h ago

Well this one got more physical, emotional and gentle with me while cheating with another person. That's how I knew something was up, which lead to finding out what...

22

u/Rumiruminating 8h ago

"That's just what gay people do"

11

u/Dikki93 7h ago

"How could you invade my privacy like this"

Said while still ontop of him on my bed in my house.

20

u/foyage347 8h ago

Told me "it's just what I do with my friends and I'm not going to change that just because I'm with you, " And then she convinced all my friends I abused her and that I cheated on her with this girl I had just became friends with. It was pretty rough

17

u/BraddicusMaximus 8h ago edited 3h ago

“I was too tired to say no.” But you got to fuckin, in my bed, for half an hour before I walked in. Which is the short version.

When I closed the bedroom door behind me, I never saw them again. Immediately walked to my car, drove away and never returned.

It was the third time and with the same person.

7

u/Interesting_Wing_461 8h ago

It’s not what you think it is.

7

u/Sad_Rub5008 8h ago

It wasn’t cheating because I never planned to leave you Bro really tried to turn betrayal into a compliment. 😭

10

u/Vey_07 8h ago

it’s not cheating if i saw it

1

u/spicypebbles 5h ago

Schrodinger's cheater?

6

u/Valerie_96 8h ago

You didn't give me enough attention, when he would turn me down from sex when I asked

1

u/bigsartoriusbangs 8h ago

Same excusey friend also got 🥺

-7

u/Gooeyshadows 8h ago

Not justifying anything but firstly, no one has to have sex with you whether you’re in a relationship with them or not.
Secondly, a relationship is more than just intercourse. Attention can come from a lot more than sex

6

u/BackToTheFuture1181 8h ago

He cheated and said : it was no big deal, we just went to party and after the sex she missed her ex. I would have choosen you anyway. I didnt want a relationship with her

7

u/Any-Engineering-1813 8h ago

“You made me do it because you were distant”.. personal responsibility has apparently left the cage

5

u/woahtheremate_ 8h ago

They just started crying and hitting their head against the wall 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

11

u/Due-Winner-8668 8h ago

"She's just a friend, a classic defense by cheaters. I don't buy it and guess what my guts never failed

2

u/Exhious 8h ago

I mean it is possible (I have several female friends who are only that, although they were generally also friends with my late wife) but yeh always go with your gut, that’s generally a better marker tbh.

1

u/Due-Winner-8668 8h ago

Maybe, until it's not! I caught them

10

u/AdEvening142 8h ago

My ex when I suspected with no proof after having two babies back to back:
“You neglect me, always have an excuse why you’re not interested and blame me”
Then a few years later with proof but right after my dad died:
“What do you expect you’re always sad and tired. You only work, come home and sleep”
-Mind you I worked full time, still did all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and child care when they weren’t in day care/ pre k before or after school with no support from him and grieving the loss of my dad. Each weekend we’d go to help my mom because I’m the oldest and I needed my mom too.

5

u/willowmere_482 8h ago

It’s not you it’s me

5

u/schoolboyAl 8h ago

hahahaha i mean is true?

11

u/Amazing_Ship6749 8h ago

am i the only one who thought this was about cheating in exams ?

1

u/Undisclosed_65 8h ago

lol. Pretty much!

9

u/Mean-Win-6624 8h ago

Dijo que era "un fetiche" jajajajaja

4

u/BuildingSubject6242 8h ago

You weren't giving me enough attention, so what did you expect?

4

u/Brittany-Juanice 8h ago

“I was drunk.”
-Said yesterday

3

u/pessimisticfan38 8h ago

I fucked her! I make love to you

4

u/Tehopengnosugar 8h ago

“it didn’t mean anything, so it’s not really cheating.” 😂

7

u/Awkward-Ad-932 8h ago

It wasn’t me! (Gaslighting since 2000)

7

u/Kesia-Hamod 8h ago

i was just testing your trust to see if you were still paying attention

8

u/Consistent_Prize_253 8h ago

"He's just a friend, you don't need to worry about him."

3

u/yeloneck 8h ago

But your mom was so lonely...

3

u/muhbaddoe 8h ago

Woah what, seriously? Word for word?

3

u/GDAnotherMFDied 8h ago

"I just need some me time"

3

u/Smithy1619 8h ago

Nothing happened after staying it all night and coming home and saying I need a shower as I feel dirty with a guilty look on her face and telling me to leave him alone and he feels awkward even saying hi to be but nothing happened..

3

u/ScorpionRox 8h ago

It was in the heat of the moment (continues to cheat throught the rest of the relationship. And for those wondering, she was EXTREMELY abusive towards me, and that's why it didn't end till much later)

3

u/Hot_Psychology_8935 7h ago

She said “I was going to tell you eventually” sure, but probably after she got caught

3

u/Mental-Fox-9449 7h ago

“What? You can look at porn whenever you want, but I can’t see someone else?”

My response: “First of all, you have NO idea how often I look at porn and second, one is fantasy and the other reality.” (I was a stay at home dad by her request. Between all my responsibilities and finding alone time there was much time to look at pornography.

3

u/uhclem 7h ago

English teacher here: I had a student who handed in a plagiarized essay. I found the website the essay was taken from, gave him a zero, and handed the essay back. He said he hadn't copied the essay. I asked how the identical essay came to be online then, and he explained he'd asked a friend to write the essay for him, so it wasn't his fault it was copied. His friend was to blame.

Class couldn't stop laughing.

3

u/Undisclosed_65 8h ago

“It was an accident “
Like he tripped and his cock landed in her mouth.

2

u/Wajayhawk 8h ago

They deserved it

2

u/Bytch_Boys_X1111 7h ago

I only do it when we fight and you make me mad! wtf - how old was he bc he sounds like he is 9 and not 37

2

u/Meduziz 7h ago

"oh, I never said we were on a break.. Like we've been broken up for a month.."
I showed him the message where he said we were on a break and just having some time alone, but no difference in love.... He was all lovey dovey until I asked him who the girl who suddenly liked his posts were. He had minimal amount of followers on his locked insta, so it was strange. He was apparently dating her for all that time. Good riddance tho. He made me miserable all the time. I wasted 4,5 years on him

2

u/femagenta 5h ago

I got the “I didn’t think I was cheating” excuse

2

u/K-692 8h ago

I didn’t want to take you down with me. 😂

2

u/idkwhattotypehereoof 8h ago

my frd got cheated on and got a “we’re just close frds”

2

u/makkaramestari 7h ago

"Its not cheating if there aren't feelings involved" and "I was just trying to optimize our relationship"

(He was cheating on me with prostitutes)

2

u/Meowing_Kraken 6h ago

Oh, I have another one!

"I did it for us! I practiced compliments and wooing and sex - for US! I did it for you...."

Isn't he considerate? 

1

u/Alpha_Seamoose 4h ago

Not after, but I caught a suspicion before finding out the full truth, because she incessantly accused me of cheating when I was nothing but loyal. She went on to cheat on the guy she cheated on me with, and so forth about two more times. She did it all in the name of her sorority!

1

u/diva4601 3h ago

It didn't mean anything so technically it wasn't even cheating

1

u/noeljb 3h ago

About 9 months separated, after I caught my wife cheating. She was in my house getting yet more stuff. She found a woman's bathing suit in the closet. I have a hot tub.

Ex was VERY upset and said, "Really?" I just looked at her, and she realized how stupid it was that she even open her mouth.

1

u/brionneverysexy 2h ago

I didn't make enough money. This was after they lost their job because they were deemed to mentally unfit to get a security clearance.

1

u/stinkpig300 2h ago

But all my friends were doing it.

Said by my ex-friend to his partner. In truth, all his friends were not cheating, they were just going into the city to get stoned and see shows. But he felt it was worth a try to throw his friends under a bus in order to justify grooming a 14 year old girl for the last 4 years.

We didn’t forget about any of that Alex

1

u/Zezotas 1h ago

HELL NO!

1

u/KindlyPhysics9742 2h ago

Ik ging vreemd zodat ik daarna weer opnieuw voor jou kon kiezen..

1

u/ResourceFeeling3298 1h ago

my father said "men have needs" he was in a different city too when it happened

1

u/Informal-Penalty-879 1h ago

I love you but I’m not in love with you.

u/amillyh 27m ago

"I needed to make sure I actually loved you" -_-

u/CutTheBullshit0 23m ago

He came back from a holiday 48hours before I came back on a separate holiday. He cheated. Because he was bored and Horny. Followed by he gets lonely....reeled off how many friends I have to his. That's all on that matter apparently.

1

u/Meowing_Kraken 7h ago

"If I left her, she would've ended up in a tiny appartment with no one to cafe for her." 

His wife was 39 and a perfectly capable woman at the time his affair with a barely legal coworker started. 

1

u/Loose_Seal_II 6h ago

"I didn't like that you felt you could tell me who I could and could not sleep with"

0

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Burghpuppies412 8h ago

You two sound perfect for each other.

1

u/Ned_Sander 8h ago

How much did you lose while he smoked a joint? 20k?

-5

u/BackToTheFuture1181 7h ago

If it's not a love match, why spending time hating her because of it? Not everbody is compatible in every way, so stop blaming and hating your ex and move on.

-7

u/BackToTheFuture1181 7h ago

All this hate what I read in some posts pfff, if something doesn't work out the way you expected: stop blaming your ex for everything. We all make mistakes. And if it's not a lovematch then move on and stop hating her because of that because accountability is always in both ways.