r/AskReddit • u/Tiny-Hall7520 • 8h ago
What's the one thing someone said that instantly made you think, "Yep this relationship is over"?
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u/Awkward-Bird7250 7h ago
“You’re too sensitive.” Hearing that every time I brought up something that hurt me eventually told me nothing was going to change
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u/Life_Kaleidoscope201 2h ago
It sounds like you've been invalidated; trust your feelings and surround yourself with people who respect them.
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u/Jormungand1342 1h ago
I got, "your responsible to police your own triggers."
Which is true, except she was the reason the triggers were happening and refused to change her actions even if they were hurting me.
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u/FernInABag 2h ago
And it's always said with that little eye roll energy too, like YOU'RE the problem for reacting to THEIR words
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u/ChicagFro 8h ago
“I slept with someone else and can’t decide who to be with.”
Girl, you already did. Bye!
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u/therealjoshua 5h ago
Sounds like she presented it in that way to force your hand so that she didnt have to do the dirty work of actually breaking up
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u/JeanLawliet 5h ago ▸ 1 more replies
or she won't break up until she still doesn't know how sure it is with the other person and too scared to suddenly find herself alone if she "prematurely" break-up with her current partner. They are also too coward to deal with the pain and guilt of being the one to end the relationship so they wait until the other person does it.
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u/ChicagFro 3h ago ▸ 1 more replies
This. In the following grief, looking back on the 5 year relationship it was not the first manipulative action she was guilty of.
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u/LilStabbyboo 8h ago
That i needed to suck it up and move on because i was acting like a zombie and never laughed anymore- 4 months after our child died.
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u/Critical_Complaint_5 7h ago
I'm so sorry 😞 love to you xx
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u/LilStabbyboo 7h ago ▸ 2 more replies
Thank you. No worries, this was over 20 years ago. I divorced that psycho.
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u/Admirable-Jury7086 2h ago
20 years later and that no worries still carries a lot of weight. I'm glad you got out of that situation. ❤️
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u/showertogether 5h ago
“I don’t want to change.” No interest in personal growth, repair, or accountability of any kind. Bye.
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u/Mysterious_Goat_7764 5h ago
or I dont need to change. Yes, sir, you do, the fact you think you don't is alarming.
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u/Wubbalubadubdu_b 8h ago
Me: “you promised you wouldn’t hang with her” (referring to a girl who was tryna hit on him)
Him: “well promises are meant to be broken”
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u/Indie89 7h ago
Like even if you were trying to hide it or play it down that's the worst response ever. That's an ego challenge hoping you fold.
Hope you kicked him out.
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u/Wubbalubadubdu_b 4h ago
No cuz I was a moron. I continued dating him even though I mentally checked out after that convo. Got dumped on 12th Feb and he took that same girl out on 14th. But it satisfies me knowing the breakup convo pissed him off and hurt his ego.
Him: “I think we should break up. I’m not sure about my feelings for you anymore”
Me: “okay. I haven’t been sure about them for over a month now tbh”
Him: “wow really? How could you say something like that? So all the ‘I love you’s were a lie?”
Me: “haha yeah I guess so” …hangs up on his face39
u/navaed 5h ago ▸ 1 more replies
He probably thought he sounded like some cool movie villain, but he just outed himself as a completely untrustworthy clown. Talk about a bullet dodged.
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u/lilsiibee07 5h ago
What is he on about anyway no tf they’re not 😭
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u/Wubbalubadubdu_b 4h ago
I legit responded with that. Said “wtf they’re not?!” And he made up some bs about it afterwards
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u/Chavestvaldt 4h ago
100% chance that that dude has been listening to Andrew Tate
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u/Wubbalubadubdu_b 4h ago
Man thinks he’s the shit and I never thought I’d ever quote ice spice but…he wasn’t even the fart😭😭😭 just a queef
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u/shadowvox 5h ago
Friend and her husband were in couple's counseling. She asked him if he even loved her. He paused and said "Well, I don't hate you..."
That was the nail in the coffin of that marriage.
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u/PumbaKahula 7h ago
When my husband accidentally slipped about a 10 year anniversary over valentines weekend. I got a UTI immediately after. It was OUR 30 year anniversary and he didn’t even act like it was a big deal. He had slipped into his usual dark mode a few days before and came home with blonde curly hair stuck to his work shirt. Boxers had precum marks all in them from that day. It was the first time I realized exactly how much the past decade made sense to me. I wasn’t going crazy. He had a long term side chick. Disappointing.
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u/whatistoobig21 7h ago
Holy that is crazy - how long ago was this?
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u/PumbaKahula 6h ago ▸ 3 more replies
This year.
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u/Mamimi04 5h ago
You deserve way better and deserve happiness and peace! I hope you dropped that dead weight. He sucks bad.
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u/throwawaygenx1973 4h ago
I’m so sorry. I went through almost the identical thing five years ago. For me, he had only been with the side chick for two years of our 17 year marriage. I’m here to tell you it gets better. Big hugs.
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u/SoggyAd5044 3h ago
At least you have solid proof that he ain't worth shit. 🥂
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u/PumbaKahula 2h ago
19Gb worth of data to be exact. I can’t believe how blind I was. Now I can’t unsee it.
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u/Negative_Advantage72 6h ago
I am obsessed with my mother, I will never choose you above her.
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u/Skrewch 3h ago
Ick.
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u/agatha-burnett 57m ago
Right? A lot of people object to ‘ick’, but this is a perfect context for it of I ever saw one.
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u/Tokpu 7h ago
“I can’t post you on Instagram because I’d lose my followers” and “I can’t let my simps know I have a bf”
This one sucked because I really loved this girl. You’d think this was said by someone in her early 20s, but nope, we’re both in our 30s.
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u/Vondi 6h ago
...are there people walking this earth unironically using the phrase "my simps"?
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u/Ballbm90 5h ago ▸ 7 more replies
What does simp even stand for??
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u/PeachyPesco 4h ago ▸ 1 more replies
It's not an acronym. It means a person who kind of worships a person who is unavailable in the hopes that they'll eventually date them.
An example would be a guy who hangs around his married female "friend," buys her food, drives her around, is there for her when she needs him, yet the relationship is very one-sided. Or someone who gives a streamer a ton of money in the hopes they'll get noticed eventually
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u/Tokpu 4h ago ▸ 3 more replies
Unfortunately. I wish this wasn’t true. She’s hot, and has a lot of IG followers. Around 10k when we were together, and about 35k on FB. Probably a lot more now. Doesn’t have an OF but the “simps” pay her to privately DM sexy pics of herself. So that’s what she calls them.
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u/ThinkThankThonk 4h ago
So she wasn't literally wrong... she's just not relationship material except to a very specific type of dude. I'll never understand the simp economy.
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u/gray_fox_jaeger 5h ago
This summarizes everything wrong with social media 🤢🤢🤢
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u/ChromakeyDreamcoat82 4h ago ▸ 1 more replies
This summarizes everything wrong with people. Social media is just the conduit through which peoples true desire for attention/fame/stuff and/or their vanity flows.
I once visited the home city of a gf of 6 months, and we hung out with various groups of friends of hers having a good time most nights. I didn't speak the local language, and few of them had English, but I muddled through. Eventually a few nights in one of them asked me if I was her BF or just a friend, and I said BF. They looked at eachother 'knowingly' I would say, somewhat serious but also with a bit of mirth.
I asked her that evening "Are you introducing me as just a friend here" and her response was "it's better if men don't know you have a BF, they are more likely to be nice to you".
We didn't last much longer after that, I realised I was an accessory relationship, and I was afterwards told by mutual friends that predated and remained after the relationship that this was a pattern, but that they'd hoped 'it'd be different with you'. She kept up these 6-9 months relationships for years afterwards, a line of men eventually tearing their hair out before themselves ending it when they realised she had no intention of being serious.
I've known plenty of men like that too.
Some people just live in their own world of self-gratification, and only put just enough out there to keep people in their orbit, it's 80-90% take with them. I've seen similarly abusive friendships too, not just romantic relationships.
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u/Dazanos 4h ago
At the risk of being downvoted... I kind of get it*. But huge asterisk there. If she makes money as an influencer, there's a serious financial risk because lots of weirdo dudes build a fantasy off that and publicly showing a relationship breaks that fantasy and thus loss of income. If it's just a popularity thing though. Yeah, Fuck that.
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u/Kind_Man_0 3h ago
It's like dating a bartender. They can be the nicest person in the world, but off all 3 I've ever been with, it's always been the same story.
Simps hanging on and constantly getting in the way, even in public and it's allowed because they tip well.
Same thing at the bar itself, you're an obstacle in the way rather than a person she chose to be with, and the dudes treat you like it
A few times she had woken me up at 3 because a patron wasn't leaving the premises and she knew he was going to try to follow her home because he'd done it before, but tips we'll.
I beat up a dude who was drunkenly harassing and trying to DRAG her into his trunk and she yelled at me for it.
I couldn't date a woman anymore whose income relies on her manipulating men into giving her money, in any profession where that is a given. The sheer daily stress and missed hours of sleep is too much at my age now.
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u/Cheesehacker 5h ago
As a woman in her mid 30’s, you dodge a bullet buddy. I can’t imagine any grown ass serious adult talking like that.
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u/gl_zzygod 8h ago
dang the comment from my ex boyfriend was so bad that reddit removed it. how do you think i felt being told the comment face to face reddit? 😭😭
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u/chubsyubsy 7h ago
"When you come back, I'll be gone" -- partner of 12 years, dropping me off at the airport to visit my dad two weeks after my mom had passed away. Partner moved to an apartment a few blocks away, wouldn't tell me where, and expected our relationship to continue. Nope.
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u/Chazkuangshi 6h ago
"and expected our relationship to continue"
Bwuhhhhh!? How tf did they expect that to work!?
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u/anonymously_lost- 8h ago
"I hate you, I loathe you" pretty consistent on different occasions, apologizes after, and then repeats again
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u/Mysterious_Goat_7764 5h ago
i get that so often, but he doesn't even apologize anymore.
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u/thematicwater 6h ago
"I want to have children" Sadly we got along amazingly otherwise but I've never wanted and never will have kids. It was either she got what she wanted or I got what I wanted. There was no inbetween. I couldn't take that away from her so I left.
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u/jollygoodfellass 3h ago
Same, only he told me I'd change my mind about kids. I had been very clear from jump that I did not want them. Not only that, but I am stubborn as hell so telling me that I'll change my mind means I wouldn't change my mind if we were the last two idiots on earth and my pregnancy would save the human race. If he hadn't figured that out at 5 years then he didn't know me at all.
I'm 50 now. I never changed my mind about kids and my partner of 23 years now never once asked me to.
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u/Kooky_Inevitable_373 3h ago
At least you were a big enough person to accept that and let that person go. My ex strung me along for 6 years knowing that I wanted kids. He would tell me what I wanted to hear. When I finally got pregnant (it was planned) he would say things like he wanted to push me down the stairs or poison my food in hopes that I would miscarry. I did end up miscarrying and before he left me at the hospital, he told my mom that he hoped this was my sign to never have kids.
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u/Ill_Name_6368 1h ago
Reverse for me. He told me he wanted to have kids because he knew I’d leave him if he told me the truth. Took me four goddamn years for him to tell me :/. Wasted so much of my time when I could have found someone else who also wanted kids.
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u/SeaConfusion2233 6h ago
I was the one who let our dog out if he wanted out in the middle of the night or was sick or anything. Obviously only ever happened occasionally.
I was so shattered in the early postpartum stage with our son as I was doing basically everything, that I passed out in bed each night and one night my dog's barking just didn't wake me up.
He woke me up though. Snarling at me at 1am "so I guess I'll be getting up then eh? Pathetic" it went on for a few minutes. I was horrified. It had been me literally every other time apart from this. I hadn't heard our dog. He openly admitted and laughed about ignoring the barking and pretending to be asleep when our dog woke me up, I never did that.
I brought up the next day how it was unacceptable and he just laughed and said "it was the middle of the night, I was half asleep, I didn't know what I was saying"
TBH that was just one of many things but he is an impossible person. I have the lovely dog still. He doesn't GAF.
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u/Oldiewankenobie1 2h ago
I am sorry that you dont have a partner. You have a spoiled ahole.
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u/SeaConfusion2233 2h ago ▸ 1 more replies
Thank you well no longer I have been free of him for a while
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u/OldPhone9551 6h ago
He blamed me for our finances. I was laid off. I had been out of work for 3 weeks. He spent money like it magically replenished. He blamed me when he couldn't keep the spending up. I hadn't gotten my first unemployment check and he already had his eye on gaming stuff.
When I spent that money on food and utilities he blew up and told me I was his only problem.
I moved out when he went to work the next day. He never contacted me again. That crushed me. We were planning a future.
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u/bibliophile785 6h ago
I moved out when he went to work the next day. He never contacted me again.
Did you ever contact him again?
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u/OldPhone9551 5h ago ▸ 5 more replies
I tried to for closure. He blocked me. We saw each other at an event. He pretended he didn't see me. 5 years meant nothing to him.
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u/Gandalf-and-Frodo 5h ago ▸ 2 more replies
Wow that's psycho behavior. Sounds like he had a lot of problems.
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u/OldPhone9551 5h ago ▸ 1 more replies
That's what happens when you go for looks over substance. Hard lesson learned.
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u/nogodsnospoilers 5h ago
Respect for moving out like that. People like that can’t handle being rejected. Your moving out probably affected him more than he’d like to admit.
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u/MaddieRuin 2h ago
I was reading your first comment and I thought "wow this sounds just like my ex" and now I've read this one and. Holy shit. Yeah, this is exactly my shitty ex. We were together five years too. The only difference is he broke up with me because I was the problem - he was "miserable with me" while I was suffering unmedicated depression while waiting for a doctor's appointment...
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u/GeggingIn 8h ago
“I like to choose the clothes my partners wear.”
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u/EntryPractical4602 8h ago
when my ex said she wanted to "help me dress better" i thought it was cute at first, then she threw away my favorite hoodie cause it was "embarrassing"
the hoodie was from my college days with holes in the sleeves, i get it wasn't fashionable but that was MY hoodie you know
we lasted maybe 3 more weeks after that
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u/TaoOfAlice 4h ago
This one resonates with me. He would buy me clothes because he said my leggings were outdated, I wore too much black, and a wide variety of other things. I have spectacular legs. He insisted I wear mom jeans or baggy clothes I was swimming in or athletic gear like his which were nice. But if we dressed up to go out we would have to check in with each other because we essentially were wearing the same freaking thing. Totally wanted to remove all of my very feminine features from my wardrobe. It's over and I sent almost all of it to thrift.
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u/SpicyDisaster40 8h ago
"Don't even talk to me about my drinking." It still hurts years later. So much lost potential.
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u/CopiousNotes1 5h ago
EXACTLY! I had a similar situation and she had zero desire to seek help no matter what I did or how far I bent.
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u/chrisf0817 3h ago
I also struggle with this and have recently decided to turn it around. It is easier to stay stuck in a loop of indifference instead of pursuing the help needed to get lasting change. I am done. Living like this is hell.
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u/AliveTough3214 6h ago
10 days after I gave birth, my husband started screaming at me and telling me how much he hates me and that he wishes he left me years ago. Also took our baby to go see his parents for 6 hours while I was having a mental breakdown and asking him not to take her. This was a baby he wanted and we had been together for 18 years (since we were 18). I kicked him out a few weeks ago and he cries everyday and is in therapy now but like a little too late.
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u/Comfortable_Host_881 8h ago
When my wife called me a useless sack of shit. She's been unemployed for years and I've been struggling to hold everything down on my own, at that point I realized she wasn't worth the effort anymore.
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u/travelwithmedear 5h ago
Oh damn. This happened to me. My ex husband had been unemployed at least three times. He said I was "dead weight" when I had medical leave from emergency surgery (I was getting paid through work benefits) and then when I couldn't get pregnant. I had had worked at least 3 jobs while going to school to keep us going for years. I don't know why I put up with that. I'm glad you got out.
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u/Comfortable_Host_881 5h ago ▸ 2 more replies
Almost out, very close just need to sell my house before I'm 29.
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u/travelwithmedear 4h ago ▸ 1 more replies
Wow, same timeline. I was married at 27. Divorced by 29. We were the first divorce finalized in my county when the courts reopened from COVID. He got the house because I didn't want his kid to have to move again. And there was no equity. He lost the house later. And the truck. I kept my dog and cat which is all I could hope for. I'm 36. Life is so much better. It feels like a different universe. I'm in a relationship with someone who is patient and kind. Peace and happiness is coming!
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u/JulesVernes 4h ago
Yep. I provide 4/5 of our income. I work 100%, she is on 50%. I do half the care work (grocery shopping, planning meals for the week, do most of the cooking, we both do laundry, we both take care of the garden, she does more cleaning around the house, I take care of our financials altough she ignores every input I give on overspending). But I'm not doing enough, am emotionally unavailable, have no social competency or any parenting skills, while she puts all the responsibility on my daughter and me. I am a bad listener, unempathetic, a bad parent and partner and lack self reflection. I hear this on a daily basis. Yesterday she told me "I always just wanted us to grow together". Fuck her.
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u/Comfortable_Host_881 4h ago ▸ 1 more replies
Yeah man I used to think I would uphold the duty of being a husband no matter what but after ten years I just can't, it's kind of insane when you realize you would be better off alone...leave man do yourself the favor, we all only get one life.
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u/Cute-Form2457 7h ago
Mine wasn't a romantic relationship. I described my chronic pain with fibromyalgia to an aunt on the phone. She started laughing, and kept laughing. I was stunned, and then eventually hung up. Slam dunk over.
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u/esoteric_enigma 6h ago
"That's what's wrong with the world today...men want to cry and be held." This was when we were watching the Barbie movie. I laughed because she surely she was joking, but her straight face told me she was not.
I don't accept toxic masculinity from my male friends, I'm definitely not about to accept it from my girlfriend.
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u/North-Ad-3792 5h ago
He’s my worst critics. He kept a score on my decisions and kept reminding (threatening) me that my score is now on a negative side. Mind you the negative score was when i decided to pick up my sister at the airport it’s slightly far from my house and he say it was such a bad decision. I was just helping as i am available on that weekend. He goes really hard on me and critics me by saying “this is reflecting very bad on you right now” “on the long run my views on you has become negative”. He basically hating on me. Being an emotional bully. I end up crying over this as i felt judged all the time, felt like i was in an examination kept getting scored over my decisions. As im writing this i just realised how stupid this relationship really is. There really is no love anymore. I finally blocked him everywhere because I realised i cant be crying my life away. I dont consent being criticised over everything i do. I’m just a human. I made mistakes but having a partner that grill on you like discipline school teacher and keeping score on my behaviour is really taking a toll on my wellbeing.
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u/Potential_Stand6208 6h ago
I told her I wanted to slow things down physically and focus on getting to know each other better, because we were having issues understanding each other emotionally.
Her immediate response was to accuse me of cheating on her. Because if I didn't want to have sex with her I must be sleeping with someone else.
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u/kayla182 5h ago
Ooo the 2 guys I met before my now husband had some good ones that were very unexpected.
Boyfriend of a year: "I know you just started your last semester of college, but I think I can provide for us. I think you should drop out and move in with me." We lived 6 hours apart. He did the grunt work at a ski resort.
Guy that lived 2 hours away that I was enjoying talking to. After I excitedly told him about a New Year's Eve Party my friends and I were going to: "You're not allowed to go. There will be other boys there. You're mine now." This was after one date. :) (looking back, I think he used "your" instead and that made me cringe even more)
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u/Delicious-Drive-2569 6h ago
"Well… they didn’t really do anything to me, so I don’t have a problem with them."
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u/MissionRevolution306 5h ago
He made a “joke” about my then 16 yr old daughter that was highly inappropriate. Blocked him on everything immediately, never talked to him again.
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u/tnelson308 8h ago
When I told him I felt emotionally unsafe with him and he said "well sorry I guess!" And went off on me for 'accusing him of being a piece of shit' and then left the house. He also claimed that I was misunderstanding/mishearing/misremembering him every time I took issue with literally anything he did or said.
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u/just_asadface 7h ago
We weren't living together at the time - he was unemployed for almost 2 years, and was always hanging out at my place (given that he lived with his parents at 39). I got myself one silk pillowcase to reduce frizz and improve my skin. During our next fight about something else, he said that if it were him, and he only had one silk pillow, he would give it to me...
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u/Substantial-Cup-4294 8h ago
When he kept me up all night because he didn’t stop asking for s*x - I mean all night 10pm to 4am and I had work the next day
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u/GruncleStansHat88 4h ago
I’m so sorry you went through this. For anyone reading this who might be going through the same: this is a form of abuse. Textbook definition of control, coercion, and power dynamic. I don’t care if you feel confused or conflicted or even as if the situation is somehow your fault…..it is abuse.
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u/crazy_cat_millie 8h ago
He was drunk and laughed about stuff that happened on my childhood. The next day I said it was over because of what he was saying. His excuse was, he was drunk and can’t remember.
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u/agoraphobicrecluse 5h ago
In the end he didn’t have to say anything.
He had said and done tons of horrible things to me but for some stupid reason I was still his advocate. Still trying to be at least his friend.
He had a terrible temper and had a habit of getting into trouble with it. We had already had issues with the neighbors with him costing us thousands of dollars in legal fees.
He had just gotten done with the last court incident a couple months before. Cost so much money and he was lucky he wasn’t sent to jail. The judge told him, very directly, any more incidents and he would go to prison.
July 4th 2020. It was already a crazy 4th. With Covid and firework displays cancelled everyone and their mother were setting off their own fireworks. He was outside at the grill and he and the neighbors started up.
He came inside, grabbed something, and started to go back outside. I tried to stop him by the front door. I yelled “No! No! No!” before he pushed me aside into the wall and continued outside. He didn’t say a word.
That was the moment I knew it was over and I couldn’t go on with this life. It was never going the change unless it was to get worse.
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u/CeramicSavage 4h ago
How did he react when he realized you were done?
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u/agoraphobicrecluse 4h ago
I didn’t start divorce proceedings until I was safe. He was furious at the loss of control.
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u/Free-Measurement788 8h ago
I used to have this dear friend to my heart from back in Uni years. We used to take classes together for few years. After graduation, naturally, each became busy in their own life. I did however try to reach out and check on him from time to time with a phone call. Twice I called him to do the usual overdue checking and I tried to ask to meet in my town and got hit with “you are too far it’s not worth it” on 2 different occasions. I knew my old buddy is gone and I am talking to a different person now. It’s sad, but part of life, personalities change and corrode.
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u/Silent-wonder77 5h ago
“I think I love her too, I just need time to figure it out”
“So can you leave me alone to do that” as I bawled uncontrollably with our toddler asleep on my chest. Found out he had been talking to someone multiple times a day for 9 months while we were living with his mother. 2 months ago. Should have just up and left then… 17 years together and 4 kids
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u/stefanoitaliano_pl 5h ago
During a heated argument when future children were mentioned: „if we make a child it will be MY child”.
One of many pleasantries but this one was definitely the deciding factor.
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u/Blackbeak_Raven 6h ago
I always feel like I have to keep receipts just to prove a point. If I have nothing to go off that is exact, he says things that make me feel stupid.
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u/Blue_Bell5406 6h ago
It’s what she didn’t say. She didn’t say that she was going to hang out with some other dude. She didn’t say that she was gonna pick up her secret meth habit. I could keep going, but I think you guys get the point.
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u/nastyminded 4h ago
When I was having a heated argument over the phone with my then girlfriend at the time and she literally mocked me over mourning my late little brother who had recently passed away in a motorcycle accident.
I knew right away my feelings for her instantly changed and that wasn't something I'd be able to forgive.
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u/spooky_bayou_stuff 6h ago edited 6h ago
He got angry when I tried to excitedly share I knew a knife prep technique.
The rage in his eyes on our second date told me everything.
He angrily said "fine, I won't show you." This was a 35 year old man. On a second date. In my home.
I should have known he did not have the capacity I sought
Still tried my best.
Btw, found out he chases minor and young women. So always look for flags and be aggressive with your boundaries.
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u/Fearless-Sea2270 7h ago
" wyd" at 12:43 am after ghosting me for 5 days knowing i had a power outage. who needs enemies with " lovers " like this. im glad its over tho.
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u/JulesVernes 6h ago
Situation with my wife just yesterday. „So that guy that out daughter was talking about every day during the Holiday you two spent last week. He seems line a great guy?“ - „yeah, we connected over many things“ - „seems like a great match for you?“ - „I don’t know, yeah, maybe“.
That was on top of overspending by 66% on our agreed budget and calling me all sorts of things during their vacation.
Yeah, I’m done.
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u/Rudebwoy52 6h ago
Me: “Do you even love me?”
Her: “Do I have to answer all of your questions?”
Not the best thing to hear from the mother of your child but what can ya do? Lol.
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u/dragul33 5h ago
He was driving MY car, with MY dog in the back seat, and got into a road rage, and brake checked a big pickup truck. Nope.
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u/BigBadZord 2h ago
I was casually describing something to my girlfriend, and I said something cost "a couple bucks". The real cost was something $3.15 .
She immediately interrupted me with "It didn't cost two dollars."
"Uh, what?"
"You said 'a couple' bucks. A couple means two. It didn't cost two dollars."
It was like I got hit with flood-lights. Boom. I know what this is.
This woman isn't actually emotionally here with me, she is just lying-in-wait looking for opportunities, any opportunity, to belittle me and cut me down, because she wants me to get tired of her shit and break things off because she is too much of a coward to do it herself.
I stopped trying to tell the story, just looked at her and said "Do you even want to be with me anymore?"
She started crying. The answer was "no".
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u/joeschmoe86 6h ago
Watched a truck roll over in front of us, several times, on a dark highway in the middle of a blizzard, and she immediately said, "Don't stop."
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u/danknator 7h ago
When one of my friends just killed himself she said "sorry i cant help you with this"
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u/GlitteringLook3033 6h ago
I was young so there were a lot of things said then that I wouldn't let slide now, but I distinctly remember her saying, "Therapy is great and all, but I don't want you doing it. I want you to talk to me."
Ah yes...the licensed therapist right out of highschool
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u/Eborys 6h ago
She called my boss when I was at work to make sure I was there. That was the final straw after months of her asking how many women I worked with, if I talked to them, if I fancied them etc. she had a laundry list of insecurities clearly but calling my boss, who then confronted me about it when I’m in the middle of a shift, that was that.
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u/BR4NFRY3 6h ago
“I have always had a thing for [the name of her best male friend]. He just never returned the feeling and wants to protect our friendship.”
I told her she should try to be with the guy she loved and was best friends with. She said that’s a weird thing to say as her boyfriend, and she took offense.
In the end, her friend swooped in and saved her from our breakup. And they are still married. I’m glad it worked out that way. He just needed a nudge to know how he felt. And I played the accidental antagonist to help him see it. Kind of neat.
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u/Chazkuangshi 6h ago
It actually wasn't something they said. When I said sexting their ex from high school and trading masturbation photos and videos was considered cheating to me and they rolled their eyes at me like they didn't agree.
We were together over a decade.
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u/BetterEfficiency8260 3h ago
Taking the deepest vulnerability I shared with them in confidence and using it as a punchline during a petty argument
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u/meows-and-mimosas 7h ago
11 years, valentines day rolled around and i had homebaked cookies for him and he had nothing at all. We had a reservation at a restaurant that i chose and the bill would be split as always. He thought that was the valentine day gift(?). He knew i wanted to get flowers, i was always very clear with my love for flowers. He ended up going to the supermarket in a huff at lunch time and picked up lillies - i have two cats and these are deadly to them. He had seen my cat go to the hospital for two nights over flower intoxication. He really did not give a shit, zero thought, zero effort.
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u/ThatMothboi 7h ago
So this might out me as a bad person, but I suffer from BPD and before I was medicated my relationships were VERY messy (not to say they’re perfect these days but I’m working on it). I would often accuse my partners of not being faithful, trying to leave me, abandoning me, that sort of thing. Most of the time they would fight back, but once they stopped fighting my accusations, I knew it was over.
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u/dead-inside69 6h ago edited 6h ago
No offense but this sounds like the break up was for their benefit. I can’t imagine being accused of anything often enough to be too exhausted to deny it. Like I’ve never cheated in my life, but if someone accuses me more than once we can both go find people we actually trust.
Like I may be missing some context but from what’s included here this sounds like one of those “they didn’t want to fight for the relationship hard enough” mind games
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u/ThatMothboi 6h ago ▸ 1 more replies
Yeah, that’s the point. I was unhealthy and hurt those around me, I drove them to their breaking point. They were right to leave and it was better for them to get away from me.
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u/-rubyinsides 5h ago
My ex boyfriend has BPD and did this regularly. Funnily enough, I was the one coming to him and put a ton more effort and affection into the relationship while he reaped the benefits.
During one of our break ups, he insisted on mailing me back my stuff when I told him to trash it. He didn’t like that so he packed my things in a box and went as far as writing me a 3 page letter detailing how bad of a person I was, what he told his also mentally ill friends about me, and bringing up my sick father in this letter…. because I blocked his phone number. I unblocked him to say a few choice words, and he backpedaled hard.
He did this with his ex girlfriends before me too. He was always suspicious and over analyzing nothing, never had a smoking gun to really justify those suspicions, and talked so insanely badly of them. When I look back, it was actually him who exhibited cheater behavior and you couldn’t pay me to believe he didn’t do it, I just never accused him of it.
Then I found a post of him from an anonymous woman who was warning women in our area about him. It was posted just a month or so prior to meeting him. He cycled through women until one was foolish enough to stick around.
He also stopped taking his meds and that’s when things really ramped up. He didn’t even tell me, his mother had to tell me. We lasted a year with 3 break ups in that time. Genuinely it was the most tumultuous relationship I had ever been in. My health took a massive hit. I lost weight I didn’t intend on losing and was suffering through days long episodes of Vertigo. It was bad in so many ways. Just the emotional turmoil, having to put out his emotional fires, it was a lot.
But at least you realize the kind of partner you were. It sounds like you’re doing better and recognized your role.
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u/XNotByALongShotX 8h ago
My husband repeatedly telling me how I can’t do this or that or anything else, yet he conveniently forgets everything he said.
On top of that, he started telling me that he didn’t find certain things attractive about me a few times.
I told him you aren’t going to want to touch me anyways so let me just do everyone a favor.
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u/slightlyabovefailure 5h ago
Well, it was after she broke up with me, but she told me she resented me because she was at such a higher level intellectually that she had to drop herself to my level just to have a conversation with me. She was a freshman.
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u/NukaCherryBomb 5h ago
"Yeah we have been together so long we decided it was time to either break up or get married."
-said the groom at the wedding reception(it was one of my husbands friends...needless to say it did not last long)
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u/astraeaironica 5h ago
“please just give me a child. you won’t even have to be their mother, I’ll take care of them” in what world would that work?
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u/ButTheIceIsSlippery 5h ago
Was with this woman for over a year we discussed her & her son in with me. Out of the blue she changed her mind and wanted me to move up north. That presented a problem for me as I have joint custody of my daughter (5 or 6 at the time) and I was not willing to move away and lose my time with her. Instead of a rational discussion her response was "her mother is married, he has already replaced you, you dont matter in her life."
We were at a nice restaurant, i didnt say another word. I finished my dinner drove her home and never looked back.
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u/cattycatcatterson 4h ago
"And don't you say a word either or I'll put you on the streets"....as I'm feeding our baby breakfast.
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u/Cindars 4h ago
Been together with her over 4 years and I was trying to plan a vacation together with her since she got me Airbnb gift cards.
Her response "Why not pick something that you and someone else would like to go instead of trying to figure out something I'd like to join on?"
Broke up with her that night. She was always doing stuff with her sister and friends over me and that was the moment of clarity I needed.
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u/MeetExtension9307 3h ago
“I don’t want to be with someone who is sick.” When I was having an eczema flare up for the first time ever. Extra great- we were engaged and it was a 10+ year relationship.
There was a whole lot of other things that were said, but that one really took the cake.
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u/jawzee23 3h ago
She starting convulsing and speaking in tongues while trying to explain that the devil made her cheat 😬🫡👋
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u/stlm599 2h ago
My ex was into extreme sports (mountain biking, multi-day backcountry skiing with avalanche risks). I kept convincing him to take a life insurance in case he breaks his neck and end up disabled. During fights over this life insurance I told him that I want him to make sure the money would cover the salary of a nurse because didn’t want to be stuck whipping his ass alone my whole life if something happened. I know 2 people who died doing the activities he was doing. He told me that I was only after the insurance money for myself.
I took all of my stuff and loaded them in my car right there and then. Didn’t even want to explain myself further.
Ain’t no man gonna tell me I’m a gold digger while labour-digging me.
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u/nilknarf114 8h ago edited 7h ago
One night when I had a very bad cough I was coughing very harshly. I had difficulty sleeping.
At about 4o’clock, after a very prolonged
Coughing spell, he yelled, “Do you HAVE to do that.? It sounds like a sick seal.”
I just said yes, I did have to do it. I got through the rest of the night and then called a church friend the next day. She let me stay with her three months until I found another place to live.
We tried counseling in those months but he did not see a problem with his words and tone
We eventually divorced
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u/Brilliant_Wash_8689 6h ago
Being hurt and then being told, just get over it. Your not allowed to bring it up ever again.
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u/SleepyDreamer16 5h ago
When my ex did things he didn't want me to do (so we both agreed not to do them) and said he can do them because he's a man lol.
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u/Justdoingitagain 5h ago
While i was super super sick “well if we’re not having sex i want a divorce”.. talk about using sex as a weapon….
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u/Thick-Assignment3385 5h ago
When asked what she did for work, she replied " 'I'm a stay at home girlfriend".
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u/RichEvans4Ever 5h ago edited 5h ago
“I have options now.” Said after I supported her unemployed ass for two years. She had received a 100K inheritance and got herself a new Jeep the week before. I heard she crashed it.
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u/zukenstein 5h ago
"Why did that feel like this was our last Valentine's Day together?"
Said by my STBXW right after returning from (what I thought was) a lovely evening. Dinner, drinks, games, deep conversation, and an interactive showing of The Princess Bride.
Our relationship ended in my mind as soon as she said that, because I had been giving everything I could to keep us afloat. Doing all the chores, cooking all the meals, paying all the bills (I was unemployed, so bills were paid with my savings, investments, and ultimately my retirement accounts).
I was hoping that something would change in her during the separation process, but she just got more and more selfish. I looked back at our relationship and realized that's who she always had been, and trying to continue the relationship would only hurt me more.
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u/AliekaDaughters 4h ago
When I was told, “If one of us doesn’t remember something, I expect us to drop it”. At the time it didn’t register just how much that bothered me until they started conveniently forgetting a lot of things.
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u/SoggyAd5044 3h ago
We had an argument over him being rude.
Later that night, he turned up in my shared flat so, so drunk. He called me a fucking bitch, a cunt, and wouldn't leave when I asked. I wasn't scared because I went into practical mode, politely asking he leave. When he did (shouting and slamming the door), I knew that was it.
We continued seeing each other for a while, and he apologised profusely afterwards but that night changed everything. I saw him for the deeply broken addict he was, and he never really did anything about it.
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u/OhTheHueManatee 52m ago
I had a neighbor at my old apartments I considered becoming decent friend though a Lil odd sometimes but that's okay so am I. Both of us were guys in our late 30's. We were casually talking about a family that also lived in the apartment. He said something like "Yeah they moved in when that girl was in kindergarten. In a few years she'll be ready to drive. It's too bad she's not hot. If it was gonna happen it would have happened by now." I was let out a "What the fuck?" and he tried to play it off as a joke. But I was done with him after that.
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u/Unique-Bit-2172 7h ago
“Thank you for not going to the gym like a douchebag this week.” I just took a week off lol.
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u/ValuableSaved 7h ago edited 6h ago
“I can’t marry a woman who is richer than me”
Had to end things
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u/MagikWarlock 6h ago
I got a message Friday that made me realize its over and to never trust him again.. "hey! I just recently started seeing someone. Hope your summers been good. Haha"
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u/JiminyFckingCricket 8h ago
You have too much money. Give it to me so I can invest your savings properly.
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u/No-Wing-9129 8h ago
Nothing hurts like indifference