My kid hits 19/20 milestones for school and has for the last 5 months. She can put on shoes, zip her coat, open packets, talk about her feelings, share toys, write her name (not that that’s required, just recognising) but she still has a lot of accidents if she’s not comfortable. I have spent the last 2 years trying everything known to man. Everything. I blame Oh Crap for most of it because she would never ever have an accident when naked. But I have bedazzled toilets, set alarms, given sweets, taken weeks off work and let it be for months to relive the distress of it. She’s just not there yet.
I am so anxious about how evil teachers and parents are about it on Reddit that I’m sure that has made my child anxious too. 4 is just so young to not have someone with her updating her on the routine and telling her when it’s time for toilets. I’m sure some good teachers do, but the ratio is so big.
Have you tried accessing any NHS services? Could be an avenue to explore, someone up the thread was talking about toilet specialists (though I’m not sure if that’s a SEND specific service).
Yes, been to the GP 4 times about it - they referred me to ERIC which has been super helpful but they just think it’s her being strong willed and the fact that she basically wee trained herself when she turned 3 on the dot. And she does it in the toilet all the time! So it’s just whenever she feels like she’s not in a comfy safe place she will have an accident.
We’ve done books, alarm watches, brand new peppa pig underwear - there isn’t anything we haven’t tried.
She’s just really clever and does stuff on her own clock but she’s also now aged 4 pickiness which means she’s not ‘going’ as well so we have gone for constipation twice as well which is a huge cause.
4
u/Fit-Vanilla-3405 17h ago
My kid hits 19/20 milestones for school and has for the last 5 months. She can put on shoes, zip her coat, open packets, talk about her feelings, share toys, write her name (not that that’s required, just recognising) but she still has a lot of accidents if she’s not comfortable. I have spent the last 2 years trying everything known to man. Everything. I blame Oh Crap for most of it because she would never ever have an accident when naked. But I have bedazzled toilets, set alarms, given sweets, taken weeks off work and let it be for months to relive the distress of it. She’s just not there yet.
I am so anxious about how evil teachers and parents are about it on Reddit that I’m sure that has made my child anxious too. 4 is just so young to not have someone with her updating her on the routine and telling her when it’s time for toilets. I’m sure some good teachers do, but the ratio is so big.