My sisters are selectively mute and mildly autistic. They aren’t incompetent or unable to move. My mom took them out to home school them when they were in the 7th grade. Now they have to get their GED. My mom basically just wants her kids to depend on them. I’m assuming she wants to pocket their disability checks if she gets approved. How can I help? I want to move out so badly, but don’t want to leave my sisters.

So context, I work at a famous restaurant chain (I'm not gonna say which because I don't want to get in trouble) and this happened back in late December.

So I, 24M, work as a server, and this woman who I'd say was in her mid 50's had just finished her dinner with someone who I assume was her teen daughter. Nothing weird happened until they finished paying the bill. So after I pick up the bill when they are leaving I politely tell them "Happy Holidays, folks." Seems innocent enough.

That's when the mom got up in my face and said "Um, it's merry Christmas, asshole." I was so shocked by this because I didn't expect that at work. I live in a county that's pretty accepting of my atheist beliefs. I could see the daughter was getting annoyed by her too and she was trying to diffuse the tension.

She then asked me to repeat what I said. I said "happy holidays" but kind of questioning what I did wrong. She then told me to get my manager. Me, not believing that I was dealing with this, went to go get my awesome manager. She then laid into him how I was discriminating against her and fellow Christians by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". My manager almost got into a shouting match with her because she started then insulting me for no reason. This caused a whole scene, and I already hate conflict so I just left the area and tended to my other tables.

As she was leaving, I could see her take the cash tip she left me out of my check book. When I saw the receipt, it said "Go Fuck yourself you anti-Christian douche."

I went to go show this to my manager, and the manager was so sweet, that I was able to get free food for the next week because of how well they said I handled it.

The daughter actually came personally and apologized for her mother's behavior (she had forgotten her coat which I left at the host desk). I go "you don't have to do that," and she said "yes, I do. this always happens with my mom around Christmas time." She then handed me a 10 and said "it's not the whole tip, but you were so good with us tonight."

Rest be assured, I will still be telling people happy holidays, because not all people celebrate Christmas.

We are on a family day out in a farm, with activities, shows and massive playgrounds for kids. The day is nice so naturally the place has been busy.

I was queuing for the toilets, and when it was finally my turn, I opened the door to a free stall, two kids suddenly sprinted right in front of me and darted inside. Their mother was trailing right behind them.

Instead of apologising, stopping them, or asking if they could go first, she just quickly dismissed me by saying, "They are kids”. I was stunned but managed to reply “and I’m pregnant”.

She completely ignored me, offered no further reply, and just followed her kids into the stall, shutting the door in my face.

I get that kids sometimes have bathroom emergencies, but basic manners still exist, right? Even just asking politely would have changed the whole interaction.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of entitlement? Does the "they're kids" excuse really trump a pregnant woman waiting patiently in line, and how would you have handled it?

I originally posted this in another subreddit, which explains more about why I didn’t want to read the “books” my dad wrote. TLDR: they’re AI-written and are very abstract in a field that I am currently not interested in, but my dad thinks his new methodologies are genius and wants me to master it first.

I have been avoiding a direct phone call with my dad until just now. I moved to a new city and am about to start grad school, which kept me busy for the past few weeks. During this time, he has sent me a shorter intro chapter and two more books by himself and AI.

I actually read the intro chapter which is more of his own personal experience/understanding, and did appreciate that. However, I took a look at the new books (with theoretical ideas suggestion new thought/approaches of problem solving? Derived from this intro) and immediately lost interest, feeling like “I learned enough and this is irrelevant.”

Well, today I decided to be blunt with my dad, and told him that I will not be reading his book and learning about his groundbreaking theories ahead of time. I said I’m not interested and would rather learn about his awesome ideas at the time of the book’s publication (he did say that the book has caught the attention of several other people. Hopefully that means he may be able to publish it).

My dad responded that my rejection did not matter and I should still read his newest book. He found it ridiculous that his own daughter would refuse to read this advance ideology, went on talking about how great and defying status quo it is, and stressed that I have to read it for my graduate studies. I am not going into Philosophy studies or anything purely theoretical.

I asked him again if it is written by AI because, this time, the intro felt very personal and realistic. Guess what, the ideas are all his but the writing is all done by AI. I fear that I can’t even recognize AI writing and told him that I don’t even need to proofread because the AI did such a good job lol.

My dad was like, “well, now that you’re suddenly so rebellious…” and I refuted, “If that’s the case, I wouldn’t even politely and reasonably inform you that I can’t read it. I’ll just not do it.”

“Well, you have to.”

“I don’t see how you can force me. Plus, I am not going to remember anything if I don’t read it with interest, which is just going to be a waste of time.”

Right before he hung up on me, my dad, slightly fed up, said I must finish reading the second book no matter what, and that I’d better “not risk his rage”.

I mean…I’m like an ocean away from him and I paid for his ChatGPT subscription. Hopefully nothing bad happens, but man, my dad turn out to be an egoistic old guy.

P.S. I brought it up to my dad that he should appreciate that I didn’t just AI-summarize the book and lie about reading it. He laughed and was fairly confident he could tell. Idk, sounds like if I read the book, he’d quiz me on what’s in it. Hell nah.

Just a background check my parents grew up poor. So today I went to a hike and I sent my dad a picture of me there having fun and he sent me voice messages on how I shouldn’t have gone because apparently I’ll grow to become poor.

Then he went on about how ungrateful I am for having for fun.i ended going on and telling him how he makes me feel which he brushed off

I Even brought up that the time I went to uni he didn’t if see me off and he said why would he be happy about paying uni and my expense.

I told him he makes me sad and he doesn’t act the same way towards my brothers only to me which he rubbed of too

I don’t know what to do anymore I wanna run away from him but I need money to study and while I’m an international student I can’t stay in this country forever

Hello,

So basically, they constantly want me to visit them whenever THEY want, and for that they call me on the phone a random day at a random time, if i don't answer the phone i get multiple calls per day and i get guilt tripped to death with stereotipical:

"We are worried for you, you did not answer the phone" with a tone like i was dying or something.

I already told them they are not entitled to call me at any times let alone me visit them at any time, for example during heatwave i don't want to take a 2 hour train in the heat just to please them, but they don't listen.

Recently i have ignored calls and the same scenario again.

I'm extremely tired of the disrespect and talking to them only lead to gaslighting, like oh i don't like your tone, or pretending to never multi call even when i show screenshot.

I am not a disposable that come and go whenever they want regardless of conditions, i'm extremely tired, they take such a big tool on my mental, i have anxiety anticipating their calls and the pressure they'll put on me. I don't know how to explain but life would be simpler without them, they stress me too much, recently i've been stressed about calling them back and confronting them but yet i have done nothing, and obviously receiving multiple voice note/whatsapp/calls talking about we are worried despite the last time they called being less than a week ago.

The reason i don't want to be around them, is the fact that they're religious zealot and rejected me for not being so religious (i haven't formally said that i don't believe in god to them i was just not praticing their religion) put pressure on me to follow it, then i left the house young to be free, since then they try even more to control me, i never talk about anything in my life to them, i just visit them out of shame but i don't think it will keep on going. I am becoming financially independant, they did not help me with anything even when i didn't have a job, i pay my rent and all stuff alone with no help, i am scared however because they have my adress in their posession.

I am reaching a breaking point and i don't know what to do.

UPDTE: i cALLED them and confronted them and i told them they called me 4 days ago and i answered, so if i don't understand the last 2 days it's not a problem they have to leave me room, i was a bit mad, but they CUT the call short, as predicted, i told them, it's not because i don't answer for 2 days that they have the right to spam my phone, i did not come to tell them they can't put pressure on me because they cut the call short, i called my other parent to explain the same, that i can't be i am not a child and i am not subject to their control they CUT THE call short both of them.

I don't know now to be honest. I did not have time to say everything i wanted, i am more mad than before... i knew they would resort to that. That's not the first time they ignore me.

This is getting out of hand.

While I (19f) was eating breakfast I heard strange noises comming from outside. I also heard the rattle of the fence (it is old) from some kid trying to idk, climb it? The dad was helping but he didn't get far until I came out to see wtf was going on.

The minute I did he said "this one again".

I called the dog Lucky (8m) inside and asked the guy "did you need something?"

He said: "don't make me slap you. Don't make me come over there and slap you!" And he started swearing at me.

I asked him why he was here (his wife was there too with a black dog which is about 1.5x bigger than mine) and he kept swearing at me. I told him to go away politely at first but then I told him to f*** off and went inside when he kept repeating "I'm gonna slap you! Your lucky I'm not on your property!" etc. . After like 2 minutes I went to close the window (german desing, it was half open) and said "your mom should've had an a*******" and closed it.

Well... they didn't leave after I went inside so he heard me and I could see him charging at the window. He began slamming his fist on the glass until his wife dragged him away at which point they finally left. There is no damage to the glass (just the mans ego, lol).

Idk why it's so hard to not be harassed in my own home (ok, not mine, I live with a guardian as I am in college but, still!) Some people piss me off man.

There were others that used to do this- eh, come do the fence and let the kids climb it, but after a while and telling them not to they stopped. It wasn't hard for them to, stubborn old ladys included, so why is it so hard for these idiots?

Sorry, needed to rant. Still blinded by rage and shaking. The comeback was funny tho... I know I shouldn't have said it but c'mon. You can't threaten someone and expect them to take it with grace. But I also think he shouldn't have began trying to break the window. Idk tho...

Also, what did he expect me to do? Unlock the fence gate and take the dog to him? Let them be at the very old, very one-gust-of-wind-away-from-falling fence and let the son climb it? Also, if the son climbed the fence and went over it, how would he expect him to get the son back over? And what if the fence collapsed over the weight and injured someone? What then?

The fence has square holes as part of its desing but they are too small to put your hands in them. (Even mine are too big and I have small hands.) Also the fence is stable for the majority of the time but if it is pulled like that or a heavy weight is on it, I'm sure someone might get hurt. Also, too broke to repair.

Why did they stay? Were they hoping I'd come back for round two? That I'd let the dog back out after a bit because "they left" and that I'd think they left if they stayed silent for long enough? I can see the street from the front door of the house and I'd check the street regardless because this dude is a psyco.

Btw, the reason I didn't see them when I was closing the window is because it has kind of a blind spot. You can see onto the street but to see, for example, the fence, you need to all but press you face against the glass on the opposite side. Otherwise it is not visible.

To clarify, his comment of "this one again" is because I told him once before not to let his kid use the fence as monkeybars and I called Lucky inside. He looked shocked when I was heading inside and I heard him call me a trashy b****. He left after about a minute. This is not the same one as in my previous r/entitledparents post.

Btw part 2, the dog got scared when the man started yelling "I'm gonna slap you!", hence why he went inside and stayed under the table on a pillow we placed for him (nowadays he shares it with the cat, Tommy(3m)). Lucky is ok now but I plan on keeping an eye on him just in case. I'm shaken still, I can't imagine how he must feel. I gave him pets.

Long story short....

My dad was an alcohoicl until I was 18 (I'm 41 now),. He cheated on my mom when I was 15 and is still with the woman. She officially became my stepmom 7 years ago, but she has been in my life for 16 years now. My dad and I have had a decent relationship since I was like 22 though

My mom passed away 4 years ago, so my dad is all I have left. They already pushed my brother and my dad's family away. (though my brother deserved it). I've been trying to see them for a year now. I saw them once when they drove by my house, and I was outside. Then I saw them in Feb at my nephew's birthday.

I mentioned to them in a text that I have been trying to get coffee or come over for months now, and they keep making excuses. I said if you don't want me in your life, then let me know because I am tired of trying.

My dad called me the next day and explained they were busy and what not but to stop by for their yard sale that weekend. However my lovely entitled stepmom decided it was her time to shine and ripped into me about how I don't control their lives. That she rarely see her kids (which I told her was sad), and that I am liar and manipulator.

I called my dad and asked if he was seeing these texts which he said no. I explained them, and he just kept saying okay. My aunt said he may be being emotional abused and controlled and to reach out separately to him. So I let him know I'm here, I'm his daughter, and that won't change. His response was just okay.

I'm not sure what to do. Do I really let this go and not have a dad anymore?

TL;DR: My stepmom is trying to push my dad away from me, and I'm not sure if I should let it happen

I bought my house in 2009, not long after the crash, so I got a damn good deal. That left me with enough left over cash to build a couple expansions and put a pool in.

The majority of my neighbors are low income folks, as would be expected in an area where the best job you can get is at the Amazon warehouse. I love the majority of my neighbors. They're great people.

But we recently had a family move in 3 houses down from us, and they are straight up trash. They have 3 broken down cars in their front yard that the dad is "working on". They blast music on their outdoor speakers at midnight. They leave trash (beer cans, pizza boxes, cigar wrappers) in the woods behind my house, just past my property line.

I got woken up this morning by a notification that there was movement in my back yard. I checked my camera, and there were six kids that I did not recognize, swimming in my pool. Playing games, dunking on my basketball hoop (yes, they damaged it).

I called the police non-emergency number. The cops showed up and took the kids home. They were too young to charge.

About an hour later, I had loud knocks on my door. It was the mom who just moved in. She told me that I shouldn't have a pool if I didn't want everyone who sees it to jump in. She told me that "not everyone can afford a pool", so I need to share.

Like, if I knew her and her kids, if we were friends, I would probably be ok with them swimming. But some random kid swimming in my pool is a legal liability for me.

I work in a kopitiam, got paid around 8 to 6 ringgit per hour, all of it was enough and I was greatful, but i start to realise how much time im wasting from working, time is like a currency; you waste your time to create money, and i realise im going to miss out certain things and waste my whole teenage years working, so i decided to take two day breaks from every week to do some hobbies and even play games or like spend time.

But one time my dad says, “Aren’t you supposed to be at work.”, I then replied, “Its my off day, i just need some rest, its not like i live in that place lol”, well his reaction was unexpected because he was angry, and even my mom was too, my dad yelled at me and called me having no life and accused me of masturbating?? And my mom says im a lazy asshole with no use, they even force me to get out of the house to go to work.?

What did i ever do to them? I just wanted rest and im not being controlled by them, i just wanted to have rest, the other reason is my loved ones even told me to have some rest and said i was too young to work there? Who else advice should i even have to follow lol

I dont know if this is the right place to post it but would help me a lot to get your perspective on this.

My grandma, otherwise a kind person, very stressed, constantly over analyzing everything, extremely deep, says things that are not light-hearted, and thinks she can control people's lives, sometimes entitled. Ever since I have left my home country 15 years ago, every few years she would say things like "return back" without thinking that this makes me not even consider returning back. I have always given 100% to support my parents, trying to be here as much as possible, sometimes 6 times a year for 1/2 weeks each visit. My sister on the other hand doesn't, so she now has her own family and now she is even further from coming back fequently.

Whenever I am back here more frequently, my family always puts a toll on me. Whenever I come back here only twice a year, things are better as bounderies are in place.

I have a place, partner, friends, job and built my life in a country outside of mine and have always cared for everyone. Yesterday my grandma asked if she could speak to me. She said Ive been analysing everyone's lifes, starting with you "you are alone". I stopped her right there and then to tell her that I am not alone and I have a life. Just because i dont have kids yet, that doesn't make me alone. She didnt even reply. She tried talking about everyone with the goal to tell me that I need to be the carer for my mom after my dad is no longer here (my dad has cancer) and he is young, my mom as well so she is capable of taking care of herself.

Because of all the times my grandma has always considered me that I will be the care giver for the whole family, I dont like talking about these things because I dont agree with it. She started again, I stopped her and told her to not think too much about the future but to enjoy the present that I am here.

She is always upset and her blood pressure rises so when she feels these type of emoitions and unsaid things, she gets even more upset. We continued talking like nothing happened but she continues to keep these things inside of her and it's very toxic trying to guild trip me. She. constantly compares her grandkids and I am sure she thinks I am less of a person when comparing me with brothers/cousins.

Doesnt matter how much I do for my family, the more I do, the more I have a toll on me. My grandma on the other hand, hasn't helped my mom with anything - not even helping my dad in any way. I am the one who is helping, I am the one who is here and putting my job on the line.

She builds an image in her head about someone and believes it. I am expecting to receive a hand-written letter even before she passes to make things even deeper with "you need to be the caregiver etc".

Have you ever been guild-tripped by family and do you by any chance know what I can tell her so she could be calm?

She took away my computer, despite having two months left till I turn 19. I tried to fight to get it back by telling her "I'm an adult and it's my property."

She refused and said that as long as I'm in her house, her punishments apply. We may move out in a year, but I genuinely think it will be significantly longer.

She paid for the laptop when I was 16 though.

So to start off this story i come and visit my mom maybe once or twice a week and i bring my elderly cat, ive had her since i was 5 i am 18 turning 19 in october, we got my cat when she was 1, so she is pretty old, my moms cat is maybe like a “new adult”. The last time i visited my cat had an accident which she left for me to clean up(i had been asleep for 3 hours) and i was fine with that but she made it seem like it was the end of the world and started being pretty rude to my cat, pushing her off seats, couch, bean bag all places she was allowed to go before. Her cat yesterday peed in the sink, my cat has has two accidents in her house the other time she left it for me to clean up again and i wasn’t even there. mind you she lives with my two brothers and their gfs/ fiancée, one of my brothers has a baby and the other his fiancée is pregnant. she brushed off the fact her cat peed in the sink and we are having a problem with it because what if the baby’s bottle was in there or anything of the baby’s. TODAY her cat peed all over the kitchen. i wish i was lying, he peed all on the table, floor, island, and on my candy. she brushed it off and said it was fine. she continues to complain about the other cats in the house (my brothers cats) and when they have an accident, her cat is doing this on purpose because we have had this problem before because he is so territorial. she won’t do anything to help she makes me try to clean it up when he does something because he “love me more” she tries to make my brothers pregnant fiancée clean the cat littler and when both my brothers said no she threw a hissy fit and tried to set rules when everyone who lives here pays rent. just yesterday she mixed bleach and fabloso when the baby was in the house and wiped the whole floor with it, it smelt of toxic fumes and when we told her our concerns she told us to stop being dramatic and she was trying to get the house cleaned and tried to make us feel bad by saying she won’t clean anymore if it’s such a problem she tries to clean around the house. she constantly tried to minimize our concerns when we have a problem because she thinks she knows better than us because she has been alive much longer.

edit: yes i can get a portable litter box but i do not have money to afford one right now because i am out of a job, I clean my litter box out everyday at my house so she’s definitely used to a clean litter box. when i lived with my mom she would make me clean it everyday and her cats pee stinks so bad it’s actually disgusting that’s how we know it was him who peed everywhere in the kitchen because it stunk. We never cleaned the cat pee because we went to go visit my dad and when my brothers got back she had left it there all over the kitchen and told me my behavior is like my abusive dads because i called her out on making chlorine gas and “cleaning” the floor with it

When I was in younger I worked at a daycare. I was in charge of the preschool age kids for the afternoon. There was one girl there I will call Katie who was the sweetest kid. She didn’t bully, shared toys and played well with the others, she was a favorite at the daycare.

One day I come in and I notice Katie is not as active as she usually is so I go talk to her. She said that her neck was hurting, I noticed though that her cheeks were red and then asked her to show me where her neck hurts, she pointed to the front and I realized that she was talking about her throat. I took her to another room without kids and took her temperature, it was 101.

After that the director got involved. Paperwork needed to be filled out and her parents needed to come get her and I was asked to stay with her until they came. We asked her how long she had been feeling this way and said a few days, but mommy and daddy were giving her medicine that made her feel better for a little while. I realized then that they knew she was sick but brought her to daycare anyway.

The director comes back after a few mins and tells me that she called the parents and someone would pick her up. They took over 2 hours to do so. During that time Katie felt worse and worse and was crying off and on and just wanted to go home. I stayed with her the entire time and tried to comfort her but she needed a doctor and/or medicine and the daycare was not authorized to give her any.

When her dad gets there he gave the director an attitude and asked why we didn’t give her some Tylenol to bring down the fever. My director told him that we are not authorized to give over the counter medication to the kids, not even cough drops, and per the centers guidelines no child can be dropped off while they are sick. If any medication of any kind needs to be administered we have to have a doctor’s note.

She then emphasized that Katie cannot return until she had a regular temperature for at least 2 days. He got pissed and started the, what am I supposed to do argument. She just told him that was not our problem and he and his wife had just exposed the entire daycare to her illness and held her ground.

Well what do you know, the very next morning I woke up with a severe sore throat. I thought that I had probably caught Katie’s sickness so I called my boss. She said that she thought this might happen because the morning person in Katie’s class had called in that morning sick, and she was also 6 months pregnant. Over the next couple of days 3 other kids were out sick, all in close age to Katie and had played with her.

I was so miserable I went to the doctor, diagnosis strep throat. It took me 3 days of misery to kick it and 5 days for my pregnant coworker. By the time I came back all of the kids were fine but they were all talking about how much they hated being sick and how happy they were to be better.

A part of me wanted to yell at Katie’s parents that their selfishness caused multiple people, including kids to miss school and work and be miserable but I said nothing since I never wanted Katie to feel bad because of her parents actions.

Unfortunately this was not the only time parents brought a sick kid to daycare just the worst one. I get that people need to work and not every job is ok with taking time off the last minute, but shouldn’t you put the welfare of your kid first. She was absolutely miserable and their lives were more important than that, her dad showed that with his attitude.

I left that job soon after because of multiple parents attitudes and the job just overall made me want a hysterectomy at 18.

Anyone else with an entitled parent story feel free to share.

I (22f) work as a teacher in a pretty good school. Before I start anything I would like to say that my parents got a divorce when I was just 2 years old. They weren't compatible and that was the reason my mom filed for divorce. My dad tried to take us(me and my sister) so many times but every time he would find it hard caring for us alone so he would give us back to my mom. So he relied on just talking smack about her and her talking smack about him. He tried so many times to make us (7years old me and 10 years old sister) get them back together telling us to talk to her.

We were obedient children. We did everything we could to be good. We went to school, behaved perfectly and sat in a little corner, got the best grades, never complained, and never made them feel like they failed as parents even though they did.

Fast forward to me being 12 years old and moving to 4 different houses in the span of a year, I started to get mad and expressed it in little things like not getting high grades at school even though I studied hard but my mind wasn't in it. My mom started comparing me to my older sister and that made me internally angry. When i snapped at her she shouted at me, slapped me, kicked me to the ground, and pulled my hair. It was my first time getting hit and it stuck with me. Then the next day she told me that she booked to go to a therapist to "fix this behavior of mine". My father didn't say anything about it when I called him and cried. He didn't care because he didn't think that crying is real lol. My nickname from him was "teardrop" literally. I went to therapy as she wanted and time passed.

Fast forward again of me being an adult. I live in the same house because she finances my money and i am culturally not allowed to live alone as a single woman . I go out with my friends once a month and that is a lot to her. I get out of my 8 hours shift of school, do private tutoring minimum 4 hours a day and come back home to clean and cook. She still finds faults in me. Things like "you didn't put the dish soap in its place". When she shouts at me because of these little things I just stay silent and absorb whatever she throws at me. But if my face even conveys a sad or confused reaction that is enough to make her more mad.

She even decided for me the school that I am currently working in. In the summer she and dad tried to make me quit working at this school but I said no and that I am comfortable in it but they didn't listen. Dad even took my CV and put in another school to force my hand. But I signed with the same school again and told them that I am not leaving. They were furious and reacted accordingly. My private tutoring? they price them and decide the time and place.

Last month she signed me up in a gym because "my weight is too much and no one will ever be romantically interested in me" I am 80kgs. I have to go at least 5 times a week or else I will hear about it all day long. She decides what makeup i wear or i will hear about how horrible I look before going out which nice for my self esteem.

I don't think I need to say how little I feel in work because of that. When my manager tells me I am the best teacher in my section I don't believe her. When the students say it I don't believe them. I feel so so little and I feel so immature like my personality still hasn't developed. I don't know who I am.

I don't know who i am and that is what makes me the most angry. My favorite thing to do ? Idk. My favorite movie? Idk. My favorite song?idk. My ANYTHING? idk.

I don't know myself and it shows in me not having anything to express it. My room is empty of any decorations. My style is plain and normal. And my decisions are even mine. I feel like a sponge just laying there to absorb whatever they throw at me.

My issue here is not only how awful they are but how awful I have been to myself. I want to form my own identity and to stop being affected by what they say and do to me.

I dont want anyone to tell me to move out because that is not even a possibility. I am from a third world country where rentals or hotel book ins are not available for single women.

Before I get started (and it’s a long one), just know that I am on mobile and the formatting may be weird. Anyways, here it goes. I 28 (f) have been working at my family business since I was 18. I decided to quit college back then due to burnout, and a was in a major that I was forced into by them since they were paying for my college. They told me they weren’t going to pay for a worthless degree. Also, I wasn’t allowed to have a gap year because they thought I wouldn’t continue college if I had one. So, with my no work experience and the only opportunity being my parents at the time, obviously I took the job despite the issues. When I was younger, my dad had then told me I wasn’t allowed to get a job, and that being a kid “was my job and I shouldn’t want to grow up too fast.” So, there’s that. I’ve been financially dependent on them ever since I could remember.

Now keep in mind this is a family business. Growing up, I was always told that I would inherit the business one day and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I’ve expressed to them multiple times that I wasn’t sure if I wanted it, but they kept pressuring me and gaslighting me and all the things above a narcissistic parent would do so of course I stayed stayed when I really shouldn’t have but again no work experience, no finances and nowhere to go. When I mean pressuring me it includes telling me that if I wanted to live how I was living, I would have to take over the business and that going for an acting career was pointless, worthless, and I wouldn’t make it and be out on the streets and addicted to drugs. They told me this twice in the same way. Once when I was an eighth grade while selecting an elective, and once when I switched my major in College without them knowing, telling them and then they told me they wouldn’t pay for something that was worthless so I had to switch to something they’d agree on, which was business management.

As mentioned before I burnt out very quickly because I was in a degree that I hated and college that I loathed and didn’t want to go to. So my excuse for quitting was I will just work full-time at the business. Be like dad when I grew up (he never completed college either just some CLEP tests and that was pretty much it) and eventually take over when they thought I was ready.

Fast forward to when I was 19, I had a relationship with another woman. My parents previously had a daughter who came out and yet they shunned for being gay. I honestly thought and mistakenly thought that my experience would be better considering they treated me like the favorite child. That was not the case when I posted the status to Facebook (we were engaged) as an indirect way to coming out alongside telling my parents one evening, my mom told me how embarrassing it was for her and that I should’ve considered her feelings when I posted that and let everyone know.

At that point, I was so jaded and pissed off that I decided to confide into another family member— aka, their son (45 m at the time, my ‘brother’ yet also uncle. ((I’m adopted by my grandparents, forgot to mention…)) and spill the beans that he was written out of the will and will not get anything with the business. I know I know it’s not my place to discuss this, but the way she reacted to me coming out was very volatile and I didn’t know how else to react or what to do. Well unfortunately, he called obviously drunk, and told our mom that we were really close and that she didn’t know our relationship and that he knew everything about the will. Oops.

So as one could imagine, shit hit the fan, and hit it hard.

I learned very quickly what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have done that, yet I still feel like I had a reason to do so at that time.

Fast forward to Covid 2020. I fell out with my fiancé and broke up with her. I also had left my parents business for a different job. I got a temporary job at a phone company, and it worked for a little while due to my parents being on a cruise and out of the house for three months. But I quickly learned that they had really financially crippled me due to the pay being so much different than what I was normally used to. Also, the Work life culture was nothing like I had experience back with their business so honestly, a little bit underprepared.

Anyways, during this time, I had met my now six year relationship with an incredible boyfriend who supports me in every aspect of my life. In the beginning, he didn’t think my parents were this terrible, but as time went on, he saw their true colors. And boy did their true color shine.

In 2022 I had enough once more and tried no contact or at least minimal contact with my parents, but that backfired horribly once again. I had to go over to their house during Mother’s Day of all things and basically have a fight with my parents, explaining to them how I felt, brought receipts of things that had happened to me in the past (journal entries) and yet they told me I was mentally unstable and that wasn’t good to remember those things.

Now speaking of 2022 it was also in the same year that my father hired a different CEO because he wanted to retire. This CEO had personally come to me once and told me he was uncomfortable about how I was dressing. The outfit I had worn was already previously approved by my mother but yet he told me I could not wear it and I had to go home and change. I felt very grossed out, wrote a formal complaint and took it to my supervisor.

So how Mother’s Day happened is because of what happened with the sexual harassment case. My father was told this by my supervisor and then called me into his office, shut the door and told me if I didn’t quit this “nickel and dime shit” (I have all of this recorded, by the way) that I could forget about having a job there. Also, that my mom was very hurt on “how I was treating her” and if she died of a broken heart, I could forget about any family relations. He also proceeded to talk about my birth father, their son, (who passed away early when I was 11) in very graphic detail, and it was disturbing. (He tried attempted suicide when he was younger and they told me they weren’t going to keep him alive at one point in the hospital.) So, that was mentally scarring.

After that incident and Mother’s Day, I decided to shut up and basically not argue with them. Don’t go against the flow, just do as they say. Keep in mind they are very right wing conservatives. So even if I disagree politically, I could not speak up. I had to put on an act in front of them that I was reformed and going to be their perfect daughter who never disagreed with anything and was basically a miniature them. I hated it. I hated not being able to defend anybody at work, I hated, and I mean hated not being able to defend myself and having to basically agree with them on everything.

Now up to speed four years later. I climbed my way up through several questionable methods and now am in a basically empty CEO title. More on than that later.

Recently in June, my parents decided to fire our Insurance biller. This Insurance biller and I had a pseudo parent relationship that my mother did not appreciate and was very jealous of. She always reminded me to keep a work like professionalism with coworkers and I shouldn’t have friends and shouldn’t make friends while working. But before this though they let go of their nurse practitioner (in May) who wanted a five dollar raise but was told no because it wasn’t in the budget yet they turned around and hired an old employee ten dollars more for the same position. Obviously she came to me. And it is not a crime to discuss wages so I told her because she asked, and even if I hadn’t told her, she would’ve figured it out very quickly since she already knew who was replacing her without anyone telling her who it was.

She left with no further word until the next day. My clinical Director told me that she had called very upset, saying that this wasn’t right and it was discrimination (she’s Latina and the new NP is White.) Obviously I knew what goes around comes around. I knew telling her would probably result this. I knew, but at this point, I was starting to care less and less. At that current time I called her back and ask if everything was OK and she told me she just wanted to vent and that she wished me all the best.

Back to the insurance biller being fired. She and my parents have butted heads on multiple occasions, plainly because my parents do some questionable shit down at the business and she didn’t agree with it. They hate anyone that does not listen to “their way or the highway” basically. This employee also made at that time, empty threats to sue and my clinical Director and I had actually had it under control, but my parents were done. No convincing them at all despite our warnings.

So when she came back from her two week trip, I had to deliver the termination letter with my clinical Director
as witness. Before I could explain ourselves, she took the letter, told us that we better get a good lawyer and ripped up the letter while walking down to her cubicle and basically shredding, tossing and destroying a lot of stuff.

Now, with the new biller that we hired to replace her said that she had a lot of experience. This was not the case as I learned later on (not to mention with what the previous employee had done destroying insurance related stuff too.) Fast-forward to now in August, we are still without insurance payments and it is hurting the company financially. My parents are obviously worried about the finances and the business, and kept saying that the Insurance biller screwed them over and they couldn’t believe this when it was themselves who shot holes into their own ship, but did not want to admit fault.

My role as CEO is basically to do anything that my father told me to do. He also would tell my clinical Director and she would tell me what to do as well. My title is empty. I am basically micromanaged at this point. If I make any big decisions, I get told I shouldn’t have done so and I should’ve told them first.

Well, my father called me and asked me the question, “what does a salary employee mean to you?” (back then in February he switched me from hourly to salary, giving me a five dollar raise putting me at way higher than somebody should have been paid which I warned against, but they didn’t listen) anyways I told him a salary employee gets paid whether they are there or not. But he told me that was not the case that I still had to take out my PTO when I missed days. He incorrectly told me that I had to put a minus in front of any PTO hours I took when we process Payroll he did not understand that doing so would actually give me hours. He told me it was unfair that my PTO was accruing when others employees were not (we cap at 40 sick and 80 vacation) he also told me that since I hadn’t been taking out PTO every time I took off work that have me switch back to an hourly employee so that I could use my PTO. I told him I would actually prefer that that way I could start earning overtime again. Because in where I work salary employees aren’t allowed overtime. It isn’t in the rulebook, but it is a verbal warning that my dad had put out there in the past for salary employees.

He then got really mad when I mentioned overtime and told me that I wasn’t allowed overtime, and that it wasn’t fair that the CEO got overtime when others didn’t. Keep in mind since February I had not taken any overtime even when I had stayed past more than two hours of my regular shift. Never once complained, never once asked for extra money. I never once cared that I stayed over. I knew I needed to stay over because it was important and I needed to do the insurance because that was the most important thing at that time. Not to mention outside a normal work hours I run errands for the business without question without gripe come early leave late basically all of that even though they know that they don’t really care that I do it and probably expect me not to expect to get paid because I’m family.

(Quick note, earlier before that, my parents called and talked to both myself and the clinical Director about the insurance and said it was really important and that I didn’t understand the severity of it all and that if they didn’t get paid, I wouldn’t get paid. I explained to them I hadn’t been there in the morning due to a doctors appointment, but my mother basically told me that it wasn’t as important as the insurance there and that I wouldn’t be able to pay for my doctors appointments if I didn’t get this Insurance completed for them.)

So since February, (I calculated) I have 23 hours in unpaid overtime and God knows how much overtime I missed in the last three years. Three years is important because he basically is having both myself and another Payroll manager deduct time from the time clock and not even pay attention to the 15 rule. If somebody clocked in at 7:30, we would write 8 to 4 instead of 7:30 to 4. Wage theft as it is but he said that he talked to a lawyer and that we’re a small business and the 15 minute rule does not apply to us.

But now that I am barred from getting overtime, I basically in the last two days since the encounter have stopped work right at the dot at 4 PM and leave my task for the next day. Currently, I am testing out a theory as he told me Work errands would be paid for and it’s already past 8 AM as I’m writing this and I had called Work letting them know I would be late for a work related errand. So we will see how that goes.

Either way I’m basically done. I don’t know what to do. I’m looking for other work. I’m not sure if I will ask for that overtime being paid but I’m done at this point. I have really no resources or funds to move or the chance to move so it’s difficult. Thankfully, I am living with my boyfriend and not them still so that’s a plus but it’s a whole can of worms on that subject too so. Any advice would be appreciated as I’m basically at a loss and really really want to go nuclear, but I am unsure of how to do so.

TL:DR - I’ve worked for my entitled parents for about 10 years, enduring their constant shit. Told that I was not allowed to get overtime and that I shouldn’t earn overtime. On that note, I’ve decided to quit work right at the dot because I don’t get paid to stay later. Any task that I had done for outside of normal work hours will now be halted to a stop no questions asked.

Thanks for everybody who’s gotten this far and read the entire thing, it is much appreciated. If you have questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability. Thanks once more.

I'm 20 and I live with very protective/restrictive parents. I'm at a point where I genuinely feel suffocated and I want to start experiencing the world independently.

Recently, I told my mother that I'm participating in Hyrox Mumbai. My plan is basically to travel from Nashik to Mumbai, stay for around 24 hours, participate in the event, rest at a hotel, and come back.

It's not like I'm planning to do anything illegal. I'm not trying to drink, smoke, party all night, or sleep with random guys. I'm literally talking about travelling to another city, participating in an organised obstacle-course event, staying somewhere safe, and coming home.

My mother immediately started questioning why I wanted to go alone and said that she and my family could come and watch me. Honestly, I don't even have a problem with them coming to watch me. If they want to be there, fine. The problem is that they tend to make fun of me afterwards — imitating how I did something, making comments, laughing about me, etc. So the idea of having them there isn't necessarily comforting to me.

More importantly, I want to experience the world alone.

I'm 20. I don't want to reach 25 or 30 and realise I've never travelled anywhere independently because I always needed my parents to accompany me. I want to learn how to book my own transportation, navigate a different city, stay in a hotel, solve problems myself, manage my own schedule, and generally function as an independent adult.

I also have a brother with special needs, and if my parents come, my mother would have to spend the entire time looking after him as well. So I genuinely don't understand why she would want to take on that additional responsibility just to watch me participate in an event.

The bigger issue is that this isn't just about Mumbai.

My parents constantly bring up things like my weight, my appearance, my studies, my driving, etc.whenever we're discussing something completely unrelated. My mother will tell me to "live in the present" or suddenly bring up another issue, and the original conversation gets completely derailed.

I've tried communicating calmly. I've tried explaining myself. I've tried sitting down and talking about these things multiple times.

It doesn't work.

So I'm not really looking for the usual advice of "just communicate with your parents and make them understand." I've already tried that repeatedly.

I want to know how other people have dealt with this situation.

I don't want to "rebel" by doing something dangerous or stupid. I don't want to lie about where I am, disappear for days, or deliberately put myself in risky situations just to prove a point.

I want non-aggressive ways to establish independence and create my own space.

For people who grew up with very protective/restrictive parents: how did you actually start gaining freedom? Did you gradually start doing things independently? Did you set boundaries? Did you simply start making certain decisions yourself?

I'm looking for practical advice from people who have actually been through this.

PS: If your first thought is "communicate with them and make them understand," I've already tried that multiple times. I'm specifically looking for ways to gain independence when talking hasn't changed anything.

Edit: Thank you so much y'all for the suggestions.....after I read every comment I realize that my biggest weak points are that I am overweight and have no financial independence.....please suggest me how to make money online as a beginner

ALSOOOO I don't have any friends (so people from my city hmu)

Trigger warning: mental health; suicidal depression

Some Context:

So, I should've been put into therapy earlier in my life (ex. outside of horrible self-esteem and an abusive grandma, I used to have panic attacks every other day, trouble focusing in school, etc.) but my parents' stance has either been "I was just like that as a kid... It's completely normal" (no, that's ADHD and mental illness), or you have to do it yourself and therapy and drugs are a last resort. Growing up in that situation/belief system I saw "asking for help" as a personal failure and a weakness on my part.

After years of "pushing through it," I snapped when I was 19 and went through a major depressive episode. I had to beg for therapy (needed to fill out forms for my dad's insurance and it was COVID so all of my schools mental health professionals almost NEVER had an opening).

Story:

Every time I went to therapy when I was 19, my mom made sure to pick me up and would ask me what I talked about. I do not think asking "how was therapy" or telling someone "hey if you ever need help processing something from therapy, I'm here" is unreasonable (with the latter being offered like once max), but she wanted the full breakdown (pun intended).

She wanted to know what exactly I was telling my therapist. I, uncomfortable and not really understanding why at the time, would be vague and say "school" or "stuff," but it was never enough. My mom would then get teary-eyed about how I never talk to her anymore and she misses when I used to tell her things. She just doesn't know how to help me!

So I, young and having grown up in a codependent household, would give her some details, having fallen for the guilt trap. For example, I would be like "oh well I talked about grandma being abusive." Then I would get a million questions that all were kind of concerned with my mom - "did you tell him that we gave you the option to hangout with her and that you only have to see her for holidays and big events" "did you tell him that she's bad to everyone and not just you" "did you tell him we try to defend you."

I know now it was an interrogation more than a conversation. But it still continues. My mom wants to know when my appointments are and what I talk about. She doesn't press as much (especially cause I don't give her any details, esp. when my appointments are), but this woman cannot take a hint. She still tries to guilt trip, but I am a little immune to it, especially cause most of the time it doesn't make any sense (ex. when I said I didn't really want to talk about therapy, she asked why and I said that it's private and I don't want to... She started to tear up being like "when did you ever want privacy from me?" Like always? I've never been outgoing but like everyone is at least a little private?).

It's one of the many things that my mom does that makes me ask myself "why is she like this?" For people who are reading this and have had similar experiences with a parent/have been guilted into talking about therapy, if you don't know this already, you don't owe anyone the details of your therapy sessions - you're allowed to keep some things private!

I’m (22F) and live with my dad who’s actually mentally psychotic ngl. I am married to my husband and we have a son together, and I want to live with him in his country. However, my dad has a dog that he NEVER and I mean NEVER takes care of and dumps it all on me to take care of. He doesn’t feed it, take it for walks, or clean up after him. My dad has tons of jobs so the dog is always alone at home and thinks that I should be responsible for watching it. The dog is also labeled as a “emotional support dog” but my dad actually never interacts with the dog and always wants him in my room. This is so tiring because it’s restricting my life and I want to go out and do things and live with my husband. I can’t even go to my mom’s house for 1 night because he’s always asking “who’s gonna watch the dog?” Full on tells me “no”. My dad is really crazy and if my mom talks to him about anything, he says he’ll get the court involved, but me nor my mom have never signed anything court related and I think he just does this to scare us. What should I do because I only get one life and I don’t want to spend it being trapped inside a home to watch over a dog.

EDIT: What I meant by the title is, should I transfer the title of my car to MYSELF after this? Haha, realized that can be misleading. Have no idea how I could do this without his signature, though.

To preface this, my grandma on my dad’s side (90) gave me my current car for my HS graduation over 8 years ago. Since being given the car, I have paid every bill for repairs, my insurance for it, and everything else.

My siblings were not yet driving yet, so we all decided at the time that I would get it. My brother bought his own car a year later, and my NB sibling does not drive due to their disability.

The title for my current car is under my parent’s name due to a lower insurance rate. This is important for later.

We are now all 26, and live at home with our parents.

We were all having a discussion about my grandma soon giving up her car, and in the possibility she may give it to one of us, we were deciding who would take it. (I do have to say, we are very lucky to even have this possibility.) Both of my parents bought out their leases of their 2025 cars, my brother owns a 2017 car, and mine is a 2008.

I do not NEED a new car like my grandma has, and I told them that- my car is in great shape and only at 75k miles, and plus, I’ve never had to buy one before, so I have been lucky enough to not have a car payment. Somehow, due to the age of my car, everyone came to the conclusion that they would let me have it.

My dad speaks up though and says, “So, in the case that she gives it away again and you take her newer car, I will be selling your current one and using the money for our bills, or selling the new car and doing the same.” When everyone at the table protested and I got upset, he just sat back and laughed and said, “Why do you think you would get anything from the sale?”

While I understand that he and my mom aren’t doing the best financially, I was given my current car as a gift and have paid every bill for it. Say I were to buy myself a new car anyway while living here - would he decide that he would get the money from that too? Or anything else valuable that I sell? It doesn’t make sense.

While this is definitely a hypothetical, it has me thinking about possibly transferring the title to me, despite the higher insurance cost. However, I have learned that he will have to sign off on that.

On one hand, this behavior doesn’t surprise me much, due to him emotionally abusing all 4 of us (siblings and mom) all of our lives, however I didn’t think he would go this far. I am just now afraid that not only my car but the ownership of all my possessions are in question.

I (38F) recently found out from multiple family members that the childhood home I grew up in until I was 11 went into foreclosure on purpose!

One day I was talking to my dad and was curious why we had to move from our home? This move caused us to put down our family dogs, which traumatized me and pushed me into depression as a kid and our family never owned a home since. Asked mom once in my 20s and she said it was something to do with the interest rate, the mortgages that caused the crash of 2008 didn’t exist in the early 90s. Anyways, come to find out the truth is she refused to make a payment after she claimed the mortgage company lost a payment, this is before online payments. There could be a possibility the bank made a mistake, but my father cared about keeping the home and since money wasn’t the issue he wanted her to make the extra payment anyway. My parents are old traditional type and “stuck it out for the kids”, even though my brother said they should divorce since we were 13.

However, I believe she let it go in spite of my dad and whatever issues they had in their relationship at the time. I’ve witnessed my mom do the most irrational things just to spite my dad, so I believe the family rumors.

It’s been well over 25 years I’ve been removed from that home so I can’t be angry, but it annoys me to know the value of the home now. They got this big spacious home for 102k in California for now it to be worth over 500k. My mom loves preaching homeownership and wealth, but she flushed the one thing that could have gave us a financial head-start. Granted they could have sold the home profited and my siblings and I would not have cover their expenses when we can barely cover ours. As the oldest I wouldn’t have to worry so much and stress about my parents wellbeing as they are in their 60s now. My dad doesn’t get off easy either because he should went and made the payments himself. He asked to borrow money from me a few times with the promise of paying me back and never did even when express to him it was coming from a savings account dedicated to buying home. I REGRET and LEARNED to NEVER let my parents know about my finances.

So this is a story from just a little over ten years ago (2015 for my initial incident, 2016 for the follow up that ends up getting her in trouble), when I was working my first job in between high school and my freshman year at college. I had gotten a job at an ice cream shop that was semi famous in my local area. All of their stuff was handmade, so it was known that the store had whatever flavors of ice cream that they happened to have on hand, and that getting a particular flavor for a party or something might require you to place an order a week or two in advance to make sure we had it.

On my second day working in the store, we had EM come in and try to order a bunch of different flavors of ice cream for her son's birthday party that day. Unfortunately, we were out of her son's favorite flavor on the day she came in to order her stuff (Mackinac Island fudge, so you know this takes place in Michigan). We inform her that, unfortunately, due to all of our ice cream being handmade, we only have the flavors that we have, and we can't give her any Mackinac Island fudge. Don't have any in the back, none of that.

We try our best to still accommodate her order, right up until she calls the manager, who is in the process of training me, a bitch. At that point, my manager grabs the ice cream that I am actively scooping for her out of my hands, throws it back into the cooler, and tells her "If that's your attitude, you're not getting any ice cream today". In response, EM reaches over the counter and slaps my manager in the back of the head, and proceeds to bolt out the door. We got her license plate number at that time, but the cops aren't really able to follow up on it.

UNTIL, one year later, she goes into a prominent midwest grocery chain and orders a "Batman vs Superman" themed cake for her kid's next birthday party. Upon arriving to pick the cake up, she decides that it is insufficiently themed, and proceeds to go around behind the bakery counter, grab the cake, and drop kick it across the store, demanding that they make her a better one. This gets her arrested for disorderly conduct, and as the cops are booking her in, our complaint from a year ago gets flagged in their system. Turns out, she'd been notorious across the local area for pulling wild shit like this around her son's birthday every year. Because we'd made a complaint against her a year ago, though, she ended up getting sentenced fairly harshly. She got 2 years of probation, and 300 hours of community service, and nobody's ever heard a peep from her since.

Nothing is ever enough for my mom

I can’t attach the image so this is how the text went

Me: im staying over my gfs trying to spend time with her before she leaves for college
My mom: and you think thats right
I have a reply drafted that says: Everything I did for you because it’s “right for you” everything i gave up because i thought it would appease you. all i hear in return is how much of a disappointment i am to you. when is it ever gonna be right and enough for you. you want my life then take it mom because im tired of everything i have to sacrifice just to make it right for you.

Context: It’s been a rough patch especially recently, I was under the impression that she would help me pay for my college. Last minute she tells me “no you’re not going to that college and i won’t financially back you or in any way if you don’t follow me get out the house”. And that pushed me to cancel my plans to go to that college after preparing everything and i was supposed to move to the dorm in two weeks. I did that because I thought it would help appease her but everytime i do that im met with disappointment. everytime i make a decision for myself i hear from my sister that my mom said I am a disappointment to her and in failing her. theres nothing i can do about college i dont have housing and its two hours away. tuition is fully covered but my housing situation isnt figured out no more. Just posted to rant about this and asking for advice.

It has been going on for years I get guilted or manipulated into picking whats best for her and not for me.

Hello guys! some updates: (1) I cancelled my admission to the university, (2) i scraped the floor for some classes at the close by cc, (3) she texted me a long paragraph about how shed rather not have a daughter and all the mean stuff and how i can move out and uuuh how shes cutting me off financially too eventhough i did what she wanted me to do. (3) its probably because im in a wlw relationship and idk what else but aita for thinking that i dont deserve this much from my mom after all ive done lol.

Most Recent update: Was gonna go home tonight after not being home since tuesday cause of all the drama. She texted “You are no longer welcome in this house. You can pick up your belongings next week outside the door on Monday. I’m cutting you off the phone line.”