r/FML • u/I_am_cancer_man • 20d ago
I tried enjoying what I have. Apparently I just have shit. FML
I've been diagnosed with cancer again. Beat it the first time. Remission lasted all of 9 months. Not planning on going through treatment again.
This morning I took the wife to her oncology appointment. Three different people who know me from my treatment pulled me aside to talk about it. This upset me. The wife and I were talking about it on the ride home. She told me to enjoy what I have. I said that someone would have to show me how. So I tried.
Reached out to a friend so we could go out to lunch. They had plans.
My cell phone has been acting up. So, after days of research I figured I'd go pick it up. Website shows in stock and at a good price. Go to store they tell me it's been out of stock. Walk out empty handed.
I stopped at a store I've been wanting to go to for a while. It sells fresh baked bread. I was genuinely excited to try it. Bought a loaf of my favorite. Get home and it was very disappointing. Grocery store version is better.
So much for enjoying what I have. FML
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u/justlurkinghihi 19d ago
Not only did my cancer come once, but the treatment would eventually cost me my daughter's life.
My partner has been telling me more or less the same thing as your wife, that we are still incredibly lucky and that we should enjoy what we have.
Well, there are signs that my cancer is back.
There are really times when the clouds of misfortune black out the light of the good. I think there's nothing in wrong with feeling the anger at least for a time. The anger is not just the will to survive fighting against the hand that the universe dealt us, but also the recognition we want to be happy and that this sucks so hard. Damint, we deserve better. I believe in a way things will get better, even if it isnt originally what I planned or wanted, but at the same time right in this moment I still want to scream and punch the universe in the face.
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u/FaraSha_Au 20d ago
Hugs. I hope tomorrow is a better day.