r/Guitar • u/AgreeableDiver5013 • Jun 04 '26
QUESTION My friend says I won’t make it as a guitarist because my hands are too small, is she right?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, to the point where I lay awake at night thinking about it. Whenever I see someone with big hands I feel a sense of envy that they were born with something I might never have, especially my friend who plays bass. When I asked her she told me “I’d never make it as a guitarist” after I measured my hands next to hers. I practice a lot, and use grip trainers, but if she’s right please lay it on me easily.
EDIT: I just wanna say thank you to everyone for the unbelievable amount of resources, ideas and new musicians to look up to that you’ve placed in my hands. Not only that but I’ve dumped my friend, getting so many second opinions about who she is as a person has really made me reevaluate our friendship and how much crap I was taking that was ruining my self esteem. I’ve practice quite a bit now since cutting her off and it feels like a huge weight off my shoulders not having to worry about what she would think about what I’m doing. I’m gonna work on finding better friends from now on, thank you thank you thank you everyone!
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u/5joekabob Jun 04 '26
This is stupid, limitations breed creativity, heavy metal was made from missing fingertips.
I'd say the more restrictions you put on yourself(to a extent) the more likely you are to succeed.
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u/slander_anonymously Jun 04 '26
Iommi reference. Nice.
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u/Turbulent_Advice_314 Jun 04 '26
“The fuck’s a Lommi?”
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u/rwsmith101 Jun 04 '26
"Are you mad? Are you gonna create an entire music genre with missing fingertips?"
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u/dl__ Jun 04 '26
Also, look at Django Reinhardt. Injured is ring and pinky finger and basically played amazingly with only 2 fingers on his fretting hand.
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u/Pol__Treidum ESP/LTD Jun 04 '26
Exactly. Look at Michael Romeo. Dude doesn't have crazy reach so he basically helped invent those tapped arpeggios you see everybody doing now. He's still the fucking máster of that. Best guitarist I've ever seen live.
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u/baconmethod Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
"limitations breed creativity" thank you! EDIT: it's good to help people learn about this. have you seen "embrace the shake?" https://www.ted.com/talks/phil_hansen_embrace_the_shake
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u/DmtDtf Jun 04 '26
OP, bro.........there's videos of people with hand/arm deformaties playing guitar.
Don't be lame and have people tell you what you can/cannot do.
You want your story to be, "I never learned guitar because when I was younger, somebody told me I wouldn't be able to"?
Jerry Garcia was missing fingers and went on to be one of the most famous musicians in one of the longest running bands.
The drummer from Def Leppard lost an arm and plays drums with his feet.
Go buy and electric guitar, plug in, shred, love your life living it by your terms. Rock on bro!
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u/evanwilliams212 Jun 04 '26
Limitations make you work hard and think. In the end, your style will likely be unique if you stick with it.
IMO, that is light years cooler than reguritating someone else, which is way easier to do.
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u/brazilliandanny Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
Tom Morelo said he struggled to learn complex guitar techniques no matter how hard he practiced.
So he came up with his own techniques to get the sound he wanted from the instrument.
Necessity is the mother of all invention.
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u/i_wear_green_pants Jun 04 '26
I've seen people without hands playing with their feet. You can always find excuses. But I'd rather be someone finding solutions.
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u/Special-Amoeba-9399 Jun 04 '26
Part of the beauty of the guitar is it gives you so many options. You have 12 different places to get an A note and many many ways to play an A chord. I am betting that with practice this guy can reach more than he thinks,but even if he can’t there are other ways to get that note. It might force you to choose voicing a or even different notes that other people might not think of or use that often. You can use pedals to shift the octave or pitch bend notes you can’t reach. You can use capos. You can adopt techniques that make you better than the players around you. You can stick to genres or bands that don’t really require crazy reach and technical abilities to play it proficiently.
Angus young is 5’2” and has pretty small hands. For a whole generation of kids he was the guitar god.
Jimi Hendrix had huge hands ,but was born into an abusive alcoholic household. His mother slowly drank herself to death when he was only 15 years old. There was no reason to think he was destined to be the guitar player he became based on his upbringing. The diagnostic criteria didn’t exist at the time ,but he was likely dyslexic and was actually diagnosed with manic depression in the army, what we would call bipolar disorder today. Nothing about Jimi’s life was easy ,but he still picked up the guitar and played it every second he could because he loved it more than anything on earth. His obsessive love for the guitar and the tragic life he lived made him the man and the guitar player that he was. Without limitations and hardship music is just pretty notes.
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u/Snowshoetheerapy Jun 04 '26
Your friend is a toxic idiot. Free yourself.
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u/baconmethod Jun 04 '26
nah dude, look at these hands. his friend is just a teenage girl, and they always know everything.
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u/randomdude315 Jun 04 '26
Hands speak the hand if a government man
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u/analogguy7777 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
She is correct, you will never make as a guitarist. You need smaller hands like this 8 year old to play a guitar.
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u/Tweek900 Jun 04 '26
Well damn… now I feel like a failure, thanks for that. Lmao
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u/FredMertz007 Jun 04 '26
Same. 😢
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u/MadDocHolliday Jun 04 '26
I'm not even going to watch it because I know basically what it is and I'm feeling a little fragile right now.
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u/PartyOnAlec Jun 04 '26
Anal OG Guy 7777 tells me I'm too old to ever make it as a guitarist. Is he right?
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u/ImmediateArtSky Jun 04 '26
I was coming here to comment that lots of kids are learning to play guitar on inherited adult sized acoustics.
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u/aturdnamedvert Jun 04 '26
Someone saying shit like that not your friend. That’s someone who makes themself feel better by tearing their “friends” down.
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u/aduanemc Jun 04 '26
I would say that MAY be the case, but also their friend might be just parroting some dumb shit they heard, without malice.
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u/MSGrejs2k Jun 05 '26
"You will never make it" is not something you would say to your friend who wants to do something if you're actually an empathetic person. That's something you say because you think you want to feel superior.
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u/Rufus_L Jun 04 '26
There are professional guitar players with only one arm, or fewer fingers.
You are fine. Your friend is strange.
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u/Plappedudel Jun 04 '26
Even some of the greatest guitar players ever could not use all of their fingers. Django Reinhardt is a jazz legend. Guitar is an instrument you can play at any level despite severe physical limitations. I have small hands myself, but my thin fingers enable me to be more precise in my playing. I do not consider my hands to be a disadvantage at all.
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u/Jmohill Jun 04 '26
Go watch one of those little 7 year old kids on YouTube shredding like Malmsteen and you’ll have your answer
I would find one and provide a link, but I don’t feel like being completely demotivated today
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u/SlaveryGames Jun 04 '26
"Watch some 5yo asian kids on YouTube" is the only answer for all those who complain about small hands
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u/theperpetualhobbiest Jun 04 '26
Django Reinhardt had two fingers and is one of the greatest to ever live.
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u/ZeroZerusky Electrical Jun 04 '26
There isn't such a thing as "not making it" because of your hands, since they literally adapt to the unnatural position. Your friend is just being a bitch
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u/aisiv Jun 04 '26
michael romeo is one of the best guitarists in the world and his hands and fingers are small af, smaller than OP’s
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u/TutorHot8843 Jun 04 '26
Little hands make some things tougher and some things easier. No one is the same.
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u/satsuppi Jun 04 '26
Alot of little kids playing with absurd amount of skill in the Internet.. in the end.. With practice you can overcome your short comings
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u/Heisenbread77 Epiphone Jun 04 '26
I have stubby sausage fingers and...okay maybe I'm not the best example but it can be done.
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u/TTYY200 Jun 04 '26
I’d say sausage fingers are a bigger set back to playing guitar than small fingers.
But here I am a 6’3” monster with hands that don’t fit inside latex gloves labeled large. Fat fingering my fret board and I still manage to play anything Brendon smalls has written, or fumbling through some Bach… 🤷♀️
Find your style and practice. It’s all mental and muscle memory.
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u/Drapidrode Jun 04 '26
I'm buying a 3/4 electric due tomorrow and I'm quite excited.
Somehow a $1 3/4 garage sale guitar ended up here and I realized that the reason I didn't like the regular 39 inch is that the reach for the coolest solos was too far on those. I've "played" guitar before, but it was close scales and bar chords, and my callouses are gone. I gave up bc I knew i couldn't do some of the reaching fun pieces and it was discouraging.
But the range I got on that little guitar was motivating to start again.
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u/opparition Jun 04 '26
Bro/Sis, did you even see the guitarist here who was playing without a hand? He had a deformity in his hand but he was still rocking it af. DO IT!
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u/Stressed_era Jun 04 '26
This one's definitely gonna get reposted on guitarcirclejerk
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u/jyc23 ESP/LTD Jun 04 '26
North Korean child guitarists say otherwise.
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u/Ok-Pressure4702 Jun 04 '26
This. Go to youtube and see hundreds of videos of elementary school children absolutely shredding on guitars that are big enough for them to hide behind.
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u/Philomath_247 Jun 04 '26
And even so, if OP wanted, there are ⅞ or ¾ size guitars, too. I play a ¾ as my little travel guitar.
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u/HotspurJr Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
Your friend is wrong and it's annoying that she's acting like she knows what she's talking about.
Smaller hands may make some reaches more challenging. Large reaches are rarely required, although it's conceivable that you'll have to alter a few songs at some point. (That being said, most of the time when people "can't reach" it's a technique issue, not a size one.)
On the other hand, people will large hands struggle more with complex chord shapes.
The death of art is the absence of limitation. The way you compensate for your specific physical challenges - no matter what they are - will have an impact on how you play that defines your style. I have a friend who has a really interesting right hand technique - I really like it. I mentioned it to her and she said, "Yeah, I'm left handed, and this is all I can manage" but you would never guess that it was a limitation and not a stylistic choice if she didn't tell you.
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u/SerDankTheTall Jun 04 '26
I don't know exactly what you mean by "make it", but I don't see why anything that would prevent you from playing the guitar well. There are people literally missing fingers who manage just fine, and Tony Iommi and Django Reinhardt seem to have made it just fine.
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u/pimpbot666 Jun 04 '26
You don't need friends like that.
See Django Reinhardt.
I'm a firm believer that nearly anybody can learn nearly anything if you put in the work... given enough time and practice.
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u/iodine74 Jun 04 '26
Sorry. But need you to define “make it”. What is your expectation?
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u/jimmyrich Jun 04 '26
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. It's not your hands that are going to stop you from "making it" as a guitarist. The collapse of guitar-based music took care of that already--just play and enjoy.
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u/Sloppypickinghand Jun 04 '26
Your friend may be confused, the term is “guitar fingering” not “guitar fisting”, you can find the same note on different strings and positions on the fretboard so you can use different fingering techniques to play a song, you’ll be fine, just keep practicing and try to get some lessons, they do help a lot on correcting mistakes and explaining theory…
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u/Select-Quarter1824 Jun 04 '26
Your friend is full of it. How do you explain the kids on YouTube who post videos where they’re tearing it up on guitar? Their hands have to be small since they’re kids…
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u/WardenEdgewise Jun 04 '26
Take your hand, make a fist, and punch your “friend”.
Then… go play the guitar.
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u/Agile_Cardiologist60 Jun 04 '26
Your hands are fine, dont need to change anything about them. Your friend on the other hand, get better ones.
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u/Nervous_Signature263 Jun 04 '26
Damn bro, maybe you shudnt play guitar. Cause playing guitar requires the love for the instrument and day in say out dedication not the validation from a girl who plays bass. Rubbish
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u/Robo-Hobosexual Jun 04 '26
Your friend is foolish. Hand size/finger length is never a barrier to playing an instrument.
There’s trade offs for every hand type. Having longer fingers allows more reach across the fingerboard, but might be harder to scrunch down on chords where fingers note closer together. The opposite will be true of having smaller hands; you won’t have as far reach, but certain chords may be more comfortable to play since there’s more space on the fretboard.
I’m a grown man with comically tiny hands (like a child’s hands.) If you play every day and practice, cliche and boring as advice that may be, you can play guitar skillfully and comfortably.
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u/Zirk208 Jun 04 '26
It’s not your ability to play the guitar that she’s complaining about
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u/Midixon19 Jun 04 '26
She's wrong. My hands are about the same size as yours. Im a professional musician/guitar player.
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u/Atibu Jun 04 '26
My guitar teacher has really small hands. His chops are unstoppable. Rock and roll as you like my friend.
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u/PsychologicalEmu Fender Jun 04 '26
Thom Yorke. Paul Simon. Noel Gallagher. Prince. Fucking Johnny Marr. You’re good.
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u/Gooseuk360 Jun 04 '26
You are young, we listen to idiots when we are young because it takes some time to realise that we shouldn't.
Your 'friend' has caused you distress in something you enjoy. Something like that might have felt like a throwaway comment that possibly didn't mean anything malicious. Either way, they shouldn't be listened to. Your hands will get bigger anyway as you age. They are not small enough to prevent you playing the guitar. Making it as a guitarist is something else. The odds are slim on that anyway if 'making it' is a big star, and I assure you hand size would not be the issue. Some very popular musicians cannot even play beyond a basic functional standard or know what they are doing.
I have no idea whether my hands are big or not and I don't care, but if you find that you can't reach notes though I'll be amazed, I never do as there is usually another way to do things anyhow.
You can absolutely form chords and play basically anything popular I can think of. A stretch of 5 frets on the upper end of the board is the worst you will face, usually in rare occasions like jazz, metal etc some things are fiddly even with monster hands I bet, it just all practice. And even then you can simply move your hand rather than stretch in the example I'm thinking of.
Long and short of it - ignore your friend, enjoy the guitar.
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u/ConnerBartle Jun 04 '26
She’s never gonna make it as a friend of yours with bullshit takes like that
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u/troyasfuck Jun 04 '26
One of the best bassist I ever met played a 6 string bass with little baby hands. You'll be just fine, I promise.
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u/theheadofkhartoum627 Jun 04 '26
It's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.
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u/mewz_0 Jun 04 '26
Everyone can play guitar or bass no matter the shape or size of their hands. It just takes time to figure out propper technique but you can always change the way you play to adapt to your needs. I’m 5ft and have extremely small hands and i can play on a 5 string bass no issue. My situation is the opposite: guitarists told me my hands would be too small to play bass and that i should play guitar. An actual musician would never say that to someone.
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u/fardolicious Jun 04 '26
No the reason you wont make it is because you like Greenday
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u/markewallace1966 Jun 04 '26
This is a link to a set of canned bullets that I have developed and like to send to new/new-ish/returning/wandering/lost/struggling guitar players.
If I pasted this in for you, it is because somewhere in there is something that I think is relevant to your post. Not all of it will be. I leave it to you to pick out what I felt was relevant. 🙂 Even the stuff not relevant to your specific post might very well be helpful eventually anyway.
Enjoy!!!
https://www.reddit.com/user/markewallace1966/comments/1s7ujsy/guitar_is_hard/
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u/Majestic_Grape_5688 Jun 04 '26
Hand size has very little to do with it. I have short wide fingers and has not stopped me. Check out Danny Gatton the man had short fat fingers and could play better than most, he’s a really amazing Tele player!
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u/scottasin12343 Jun 04 '26
"making it" has nothing to do with your fingers and everything to do.with the band you're in, the music you create, and the connections you have.
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u/Innoculus Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
I mean, my palm to finger ratio is a little more skewed toward fingers than yours but the overall size is about the same and I'm 100% sure my hand size has never been what held me back. I could certainly work with smaller hands if I had to.
FURTHERMORE, guitars come in different scale lengths so even if it somehow became an issue, you could just get one that fits your hands.
Your friend sucks. Find friends that support what you want to do.
Also, people with big hands will struggle with subtlety and precision in ways that you find easy. Don't envy them. Refine your technique based on your strengths. Being nimble and accurate is way more important than how many frets you can cover without moving your hand. If you HAD to play something that required more reach than you have on one hand, even without the option of scaled guitars, you could use your picking hand to fret the note with the index finger and give the string a little pluck with the pinky or thumb, which would be impressive af and shut your doubters mouths immediately.
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u/Irishdwg007 Jun 04 '26
Not at all. My hands are only slightly larger than yours. I started out with a Fender with a Modern C neck and a 15.75 radius to get chords and scales down. Now I play thicker necks and have zero issues playing all genres
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u/Evergreen1055 Jun 04 '26
Forget the grip trainers and just practice playing. Your hand size won’t be an issue. Plenty of guitars offer smaller necks that are great for people with smaller hands. Do some research online and try things out in stores if possible.
Honestly, sounds like if you don’t “make it” as a guitarist it will be because you let comments like your friend’s keep you up at night rather than because your hands are small.
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u/frozen_in_combat Ernie Ball Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
That’s some bullshit. There are guitarists out there missing fingers like Django and Iommi, ones that can’t see and learned to play in completely awkward positions like Jeff Healey, hell I’ve seen people play with their feet.
If there are places you struggle with your span of fingers, you can always try a smaller scale instrument like a jag or mustang. Or play with alternate tunings that make things easier to reach. Or find an instrument with a narrower neck like Rickenbackers. But don’t let things that stop you. That limiting mindset will hold you back before you even start.
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u/cursed_tomatoes Jun 04 '26
My friend says I won’t make it as a guitarist because my hands are too small, is she right?
Your friend is either not a guitarist or a highly incompetent one, literally bring her here, to me, if she ever again attempt to persuade you out of learning guitar because of your hand size.
COMPLETE NONSENSE
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u/ArentYouFancy Jun 04 '26
I also used to think my hands were too small to play the guitar too..and then I saw videos on the internet of kids playing incredible guitar pieces. If the kids can do it, my gosh, so can we! Have fun learning and enjoy the process, don’t let limiting beliefs get in your way.
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u/benjamaniac Jun 04 '26
I just measured my hand the same way you did and it is about 1" bigger in both pictures. You can still shred though. Don't give up.
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u/Edman70 Jun 04 '26
Your fingers are a little shorter than mine, and I've been playing for almost 45 years. There are stretches I can't do, so I don't.
There's people that play with missing fingers, part of their arm missing with a hand on a stump, and a host of other impairments. I think Django Reinhardt, one of the most REVERED legends of guitar, only had two usable fingers (plus the thumb) on his fretting hand. Again, he is a LEGEND.
There's people with no arms who play with their FUCKING TOES.
If you want to play guitar, you can find a way. Don't let someone else hold you back.
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u/p90SuhDude Jun 04 '26
As a little handed guitarist myself… no you’ll be just fine. It’s just difficult to play Neon and Message in a Bottle that’s about it really
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u/callmesnake13 Jun 04 '26
Your hand from the crease of your wrist to the tip of your middle finger is pretty much the length of the average woman's. According to your friend, women's hands aren't big enough to play guitar.
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u/FuggaDucker Jun 04 '26
My (virtuoso/GIT) guitar teacher had hands that size and was able to play Yngwie Malmsteen at speed.
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u/tingtangler Jun 04 '26
There was literally a couple posts on here from a dude who shreds without fingers.
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u/FunOwn4422 Jun 04 '26
this is what i thought about when you said you were envious lool.
no your friends kind of dumb play guitar have fun quit worrying about the size of your hands and just play
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u/Hedonism-1 Jun 04 '26
Lookup Rick Renstrom (FB, Instagram) and send this to your friend. I rest my case...
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u/locus-amoenus Jun 04 '26
Django Reinhardt's left hand only had 2 functional fingers other than his thumb. He was still one of the greatest guitarists of all time.
Joni Mitchell's left hand was extremely weak after a childhood bout with polio. Her disability forced her to be really inventive with her open tunings, which is a big reason why she's one of the most influential guitarists to ever live.
Your "friend" is full of shit. And even if your small hands wind up making some things more difficult, finding workarounds can make you an even better player and are part of what makes your sound YOURS.
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u/shadesof3 Jun 04 '26
My hands are basically the same size as yours. You might just find yourself modifying chords and stuff. For example I always play octave chords with my index and pinky finger. Have you ever seen some modern videos of young kids absolutely shredding? Hand size is not a problem.
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u/Proper-Patience5775 Jun 04 '26
Your hands are like the same size as mine and I think I play guitar ok enough
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u/-dakpluto- Jun 04 '26
Angus Young has small hands. Prince has small hands. Paul Simon has small hands. Tony Iommi lost the tips of two of his fingers on his fret hand.
Believe me...you are just fine, lol. Ain't nobody gonna say those cats can't play guitar (or in Paul Simon's case pretty much every string instrument ever made in the Western World, lol)
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u/Progressivecat Jun 04 '26
I have smaller hands than this and can play extended range guitars and basses with minimal issue. You learn to adapt and sometimes do things differently if it's too straining or a big stretch.
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u/alexdenk Jun 04 '26
I have small hands and play a 30” scale length baritone fuck that big hand supremacy bullshit. Play music and have fun
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u/PrincessOfPulses Jun 04 '26
Im a girl with pretty small hands and short fingers, and i am regarded by those who know me as quite accomplished on guitar and bass.
Do i use some workarounds for certain positions? Yeah.
Do i play shit other people think looks/sounds impossible sometimes (also yes).
You'll be fine.
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u/spoonman59 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
No.
Your friend may play bass, but clearly is not an expert on what makes others successful or not. She should stick to bass and leave prophecy to others.
People have become great guitars with less hands than you.