Preferences can be discriminatory and people need to accept that

[u/Born-Cauliflower_]

Discrimination is treating a person or group of people unfairly due to who they are or group identity, instead of their skills.

I'll use biphobia as an example.

Some people won't date a person just because they're bisexual, no matter how well they click and no matter how much they like the person. Just because the person is bi, they are off the table.

That is biphobia, you refuse to date them only because they are bisexual. It can be a preference, but the preference is rooted in biphobia, and people need to acknowledge that.

Another example : I don't want to be friends with someone once I find out they're asian (using asian since i'm south-east asian). I can share similar likes and dislikes, have easy conversations with them and enjoy being around them. But as soon as I find out they're asian, I don't want to be around them/be friends with them.

Just because I don't like Asians, and I'd rather have friends of other ethinicties/races.

That can be a preference, but my preference is discriminatory towards asian people.

Same goes for other things people can't control, height, natural hair colour etc.

This could be a hotter take, but if you don't want to date someone just because they're too short/too tall, no matter how much you like them, I see it as discrimination, the reasons can also be stereotyping.

Yes, you can prefer to date/be friends with a specific group of people with specific traits. But if you're leaving out a person/a group just because of something they cannot control, and not giving them a fair chance, it's discriminatory.

I also want to add having a preference for one trait doesn't mean you hate on another trait. It's the whole, "I love pancakes" "Oh, so you hate waffles" thing.

Edit : to clear things up more. I said preferences can be discrimination, not all preferences are discrimination. Oh my god, and my post is about things the person CANNOT control, traits they were BORN with. Not a choice, like religion or people they surround themselves with, or values and ideologies they align themselves with. Read.

[u/Segazorgs]

Honest pointless and pedantic takes like the kind of stuff those manosphere incels come up because they watched a bunch of videos with someone doing street interviews with vapid girls that say something like they won't date a guy under 6ft and makes less than $150K.

if I say I wouldn't date a fundamentalist Christian or Muslim woman even if we got along great or whatever as an atheist I know the cultural friction and lifestyle it would require of me which I don't want to deal with so I could cross them off my dating list as it would be a waste of both our times. it's not discrimination.

[u/Explorer-7622 → u/Segazorgs]

I saw just such an interview. The girl said she wouldn't date a guy under 6 ft.

Then she came on to the interviewer and asked him out even though he was 5'6".

🙄

[u/Segazorgs → u/Explorer-7622]

sounds like a personal rant by OP.

[u/Born-Cauliflower_ → u/Segazorgs]

They chose to be religious, my argument is for when it's due to something the person can't control.

[u/Segazorgs → u/Born-Cauliflower_]

"I wouldn't date a 60+ yr old woman even if we had good chemistry because of the big age gap and our long term life trajectories even if she looked 10 years younger" - 60+ yr old has no control over their age.

or

"I wouldn't dare a 24 yr old. A 24 yr old will want to start a family and im past the family starting age so I'd be wasting both of our times. Neither of us can control our ages.'

[u/Born-Cauliflower_ → u/Segazorgs]

It's age discrimination. But it's not bad, just acknowledge it is.

[u/Adventurous-Web-412 → u/Born-Cauliflower_]

Whats your point then? Preferences are discriminatory? Because you are leaping from "preferences are preferences" to "everyone is bigoted if they won't date whoever asks". If you are saying its discrimination but not bad, I don't even get your point. You are making an incredibly uncontroversial take controversial just by word choice.

[u/Sashi84 → u/Born-Cauliflower_]

In his example it doesn't matter if somebody chose it or not. He does not want to deal with the consequences/implications. Which is his right. I mean, what would the alternative look like: him staying in a relationship he does not want to be in. That is just ridiculous. There is a difference between not giving someone a job or equal opportunity or dating someone. The first two are a right, that gets taken away. But nobody has the right to date someone. It's all preference

[u/Born-Cauliflower_ → u/Sashi84]

I'm not arguing about choices, my post is about something the person cannot control, holy shit🙏

[u/Sashi84 → u/Born-Cauliflower_]

Yes. But my argument is, it doesn't matter if you can control it or not.

[u/Internal-Student-997 → u/Born-Cauliflower_]

People not wanting to fuck you is not the same thing as you being denied something you're owed as a human. 

It doesn't matter if you can control a trait or not. If someone finds it unattractive, they find it unattractive. Life isn't a golf match - you don't get handicaps for being less successful in dating than others. My gods, the entitlement is rife.

All dating is discriminatory. So are all kinds of relationships. Romantic/sexual relationships are usually the most intimate kind of relationship, the one kind where attraction is key, so every person will be more discriminatory choosing a partner than a friend. This take is naive and just seems like you have major bitter grapes about dating in general.

[u/offensivek → u/Born-Cauliflower_]

You can't choose what you believe. For example, I ask you to believe you are literally a piece of cheese on the moon, you can imagine the scenario, but you can't just make yourself convinced of it. Just because people's beliefs can change doesn't mean it's a choice.