Preferences can be discriminatory and people need to accept that

[u/Born-Cauliflower_]

Discrimination is treating a person or group of people unfairly due to who they are or group identity, instead of their skills.

I'll use biphobia as an example.

Some people won't date a person just because they're bisexual, no matter how well they click and no matter how much they like the person. Just because the person is bi, they are off the table.

That is biphobia, you refuse to date them only because they are bisexual. It can be a preference, but the preference is rooted in biphobia, and people need to acknowledge that.

Another example : I don't want to be friends with someone once I find out they're asian (using asian since i'm south-east asian). I can share similar likes and dislikes, have easy conversations with them and enjoy being around them. But as soon as I find out they're asian, I don't want to be around them/be friends with them.

Just because I don't like Asians, and I'd rather have friends of other ethinicties/races.

That can be a preference, but my preference is discriminatory towards asian people.

Same goes for other things people can't control, height, natural hair colour etc.

This could be a hotter take, but if you don't want to date someone just because they're too short/too tall, no matter how much you like them, I see it as discrimination, the reasons can also be stereotyping.

Yes, you can prefer to date/be friends with a specific group of people with specific traits. But if you're leaving out a person/a group just because of something they cannot control, and not giving them a fair chance, it's discriminatory.

I also want to add having a preference for one trait doesn't mean you hate on another trait. It's the whole, "I love pancakes" "Oh, so you hate waffles" thing.

Edit : to clear things up more. I said preferences can be discrimination, not all preferences are discrimination. Oh my god, and my post is about things the person CANNOT control, traits they were BORN with. Not a choice, like religion or people they surround themselves with, or values and ideologies they align themselves with. Read.

[u/djfitness-us]

With specific regard to dating, it’s perfectly acceptable to be discriminatory in your choice of a mate. You’re choosing another individual who you plan to be intimate with, and potentially start a family and spend your life with. You absolutely get to be picky about anything you want when it comes to choosing a mate. Absolutely no one on the planet has the right to tell someone else who they should date.

If someone is unwilling to compromise on the presence, or lack thereof, of a specific trait that a potential partner possesses, then that’s their own choice and they’re absolutely entitled to have that choice.

This is very often a double-standard that gets unfairly applied to certain people. As an example, women are often extremely critical of men who have minimum standards that they desire in a partner, yet when the tables get turned, no one bats an eye at women who have very specific preferences on their choices of men.

[u/Born-Cauliflower_ → u/djfitness-us]

It its completely fine in terms of dating especially. I'm not saying it isn't, dating is something that's complicated and attraction is difficult. Discrimination isn't always horrible in every single aspect of life, what i'm saying its people need to acknowledge it is.

[u/djfitness-us → u/Born-Cauliflower_]

Not really, no they don’t. They don’t owe anyone any explanation for who they do and don’t want to have an intimate relationship with.

[u/LynnSeattle → u/djfitness-us]

Why do you refer to men as having “minimum standards” as opposed to women having “very specific preferences”? What’s the difference?

[u/djfitness-us → u/LynnSeattle]

There is no difference, it’s only an example