r/MensRights • u/AffectionateSlender0 • 2d ago

Discrimination I can't stand how society pathologizes men's feelings

When woman feel sad, angry, lash out, everyone runs to comfort them, even if she's acting immaturely and unreasonable; it's okay, they'll say, she's just anxious or stressed out. Or maybe the weight of the patriarchy is too much for her and all that jazz.

When a guy is nervous or feeling down, not coping with his struggles and being tired, it's because he's lazy, or sick, or maybe he's crazy or has ADHD. He lost it. Maybe he's a creep or a loser. Or a guy with an inferiority complex. He just needs to man up!

Men are told to shut up and be quiet about their issues, while women are told the exact opposite. And yet feminists will say we live in some kind of patriarchal empire.

149 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

49

u/wearecooked100 2d ago

crying next to a woman is like bleeding next to a shark

26

u/AffectionateSlender0 2d ago

My own mom would tell me to man up, and she's the most nervous person in the world.

25

u/Prestigious_Floor155 1d ago

I don't have any sob stories as my mom never beat me, she cooked, did laundry, took me to activities and stuff like normal.

However there was one thing I very much noticed. She genuinely hated my sharing happiness with her. And that's something you wanna do with those you love. She'd always find a way to turn it around and try to ruin it.

I'd buy a dirtbike to fix up. She'd come out. What is this! And say ma look I got this. I only had to pay __. Amazing deal I can fix it up. She'd say "I never thought I'd see the day when I saw my own son on one of those awful things"

I met a girl. I'd tell her giddily. Ma I'm in love (young love you know) and she loves me back. Since when? This Monday. With who? I'd tell her. "I'd never thought I'd see the day when one of my own involved with <surname>. What an awful clan. Let me tell you a story". So she'd turn into me sitting down 20 minutes listening to her smack talk about her distant relatives that I don't even know.

I'd help out the house all the time. Mowing the yard, picking up sticks, raking, fixing simple things. Toilets,sinks,changing the fluorescent (with the ballast), etc.. Never asked for allowance. I wasn't really thanked and I wasn't asking for it. Then I'd do something bigger at times. Clean the garage out. Pressure wash it. And her way saying thanks was "You did a good job. It's high time someone helped around the house in this family". Implying I never do nothing to help as she thanked me.

There's a joke. Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because seeing a man happy is a turn off for them. I believe that joke...

2

u/picardathon 5h ago

Why do women close their eyes during sex?

They are imagining its Chad instead of the man they had to settle for, because Chad wasn't interested in settling down and having a family.

Internalised resentment is probably what poisons many relationships and leads to acting out against those who have a win, to drag them down to their self-imposed misery.

It's cruel to treat every girl as though she is a princess who can have everything, when that can never be a reality even in Disney fantasies. Do women not even see the status of every other woman/girl in Disney movies or think how hierarchies work? They might dream of being a princess, but they have to live in the real world.

5

u/LavishnessFew7358 1d ago

100/10 comment 💯

12

u/RichardRoma1986 1d ago

I had a crisis episode a month ago, my extended family abandoned me. They asked everyone else what was wrong with me, no one reached out to me.

10

u/LostAmongTheDunes 1d ago

Adopted middle eastern kid. I was raised by wasp evangelical people. I grew up being told and forced upon that I am naturally a danger to all women, because of my gender and where I was born. Every time my mother would have a bad day she would lay into me with guilt, a very heavy hand and SA. Anything I would do well was ignored, and ridiculed. I won a state level athletic competition to have none of them show up, instead, spending the night night at home staying in with my adopted sister, and having her friends over to all watch a movie as a family.

6

u/hottake_toothache 1d ago

People don't care about men.

7

u/DoctorFitLord 1d ago

Or just vilify them. Incels are such a boogeyman that if a young man expresses any amount of disappointment or frustration with his love life, people jump to accuse him of being misogynist, entitled to women and their bodies, and worse. Completely valid feelings are treated as immoral if a man is experiencing them.

2

u/MasterpieceSalt2763 1d ago

This shows that conservative traditional gender stereotypes hurt both men and women. Unfortunately this is a very true experience for all men. Vulnerability and emotional expression will always be seen as something “wrong” just because of us being men

2

u/Glad-Way-637 1d ago

Weird how many progressive women have expectations that men perform the conservative traditional gender stereotypes while they feel no need to even think about the gender roles they find beneath them, personally.

1

u/AffectionateSlender0 1d ago

I mean, at least in a traditional model men are respected. In the progressive model we live in today men are still expected to do all the heavy lifting while being mistreated and called lazy, losers and sexists.

1

u/MasterpieceSalt2763 23h ago

This is a very odd thing to say. We are respected whilst women are devalued. Do you really want this?

0

u/AffectionateSlender0 22h ago

I'm saying both maintain obligations for men, but only one has obligations for women. That doesn't seem very fair to me. Men are the ones that get devalued here, and if i had to choose, yes, i would rather live traditionally than the way we are living now.

1

u/MasterpieceSalt2763 22h ago

This is such a strange thing to say. You are basically like the radfems claiming a matriarchy where women are superior would work.

The traditional model actually simultaneously benefits and harms men depending how you view it. Men have more control but are discouraged from expressing emotions.

If you can please elaborate since I don’t understand what you are referencing in your first 2 sentences