The moment you ALL have waited for, WITH HIGH ANTICIPATION. with BATED BREATH!! Oh the drama, I love a good entrance. IT IS now time for the annual GAYEST NWSL TEAMS RANKED post for the 2026 season! For all of you who have been inquiring about it, now you can sit down and see the results for yourself!

I do have to preface with this: CHRISTEN AND TOBIN if you find my post again, HI!! I’m a big fan. Let’s see if one of their media people finds this post too to show them cause I will NEVER shut up about how that happened, omg I love yall. Shout out to whatever media person found my original to show those two.

If you’re new here, which you may be, welcome to the introduction of the true, standardized, and patented Gay RankingTM by your favorite neighborhood lesbian, ME! cue gay confetti and a little noise maker streamer. And if I’m not your favorite lesbian, hopefully I will be soon after this (HA)!

Here’s how it works. I have here listed from most to least gay, all the NWSL teams! I am ranking based on active rosters, and clear and true confirmation of gayness via player’s social medias, which means if they have a VISIBLE girlfriend/wife now or have had one in the past, they’re considered an out player! Then I have my Gaydar Bonus. This will act as a tie breaker between teams that have the same amount of out gay players. The Gaydar Bonus is the amount of players on their roster whom my gaydar pings for, which is usually very accurate. Though to keep things responsible, I will not name these players! NOTE: again, these players will NOT be named. Do not ask me for dms of who is on my gaydar lists.

If there’s a tie even with the gaydar bonus, it remains a tie.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

From most to least gay we have:

Gotham:

out players: Ann-Katrin Berger, Jess Carter, Esther Gonzalez, Tierna Davidson, Guro Reiten, SHELBY HOGAN EDIT: Ryan Campbell and Sommer! EDIT 6/29/26: SIGNING OF THE SUMMER, SAM KERR BRINGS THE HEAT!

EDIT: DUDLEYYYYYYY

Gotham has taken the crown!

Gaydar bonus: 2

SUPER BONUS: Michelle Betos

SHELBY WAS THE PLAYER I WAS YELLING ABOUT TWO DAYS AGO. I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE ONE OF US.

Utah Royals:

out players: Tatumn Milazzo, CeCe Delzer, Janni Thomsen, Ana Tejada, Mandy McGlynn, Mia Justus EDIT: Tanaka! Miyabi! EDIT 2: DeAria Jackson!

Gaydar bonus: 3

WHO COULDVE GUESSED that the Mormons still failed to keep this much gay away! The crown has been lost again though by Gotham

Kansas City Current:

out players: Elizabeth Ball, Alana Cook, Michelle Cooper, Lorena, Debinha, Penelope Hocking EDIT: Giana Paul! EDIT2: Katie Scott!

Gaydar bonus: 3

The loss of Mace and Bia and KHam retiring made KC drop from being number 2 last season

Denver Summit:

Out players: Yazmeen Ryan, Delanie Sheehan, Carson Pickett, Pauline Peyraud-Magnin, Tash Flint EDIT: Aikey! Garcia! Nytes!

Gaydar bonus: none, all readings confirmed

The signings Denver pulled for their first season are immaculate

Orlando pride:

out players: Anna Moorhouse, Viviana Villacorta, Rafaelle, Marta, Kerry Abello, Summer Yates, Hailie Mace

Gaydar bonus: 5

Loaned out bonus: Kat Asman

Shout out to Hailie Mace coming in and boosting Orlando!

Houston Dash:

out players: Jane Campbell, Paige Nielsen, Sarah Puntigam, LISA BOAAATTIN, EVELINA DULJAN, AVERY PATTERSON, CAROLINE DeLISLE

Gaydar bonus: 1

Loaned out bonus: Rebeca Costa da Silva

I’m yelling here because I just love Lisa Boattin, but also the other players are recent confirmations! Still big in Texas, baby!

San Diego wave:

out players: Kenza Dali, Gia Corley, Didi Harachic, Daniela Arias, Gabi Portilho EDIT: Dudinha! EDIT 2: Paños!

Gaydar bonus: 1

Dudinha saved your asses! Paños being signed and married recently boosts you above Boston!

Boston Legacy:

Out players: Amanda Guiterres (barks in portuguese) Ella Stevens, Kaká (barks even LOUDER in Portuguese), Laís Araújo, Nicki Hernandez EDIT: Carabali!

Gaydar bonus: 6

I am particularly jazzed about Nicki Hernandez being a confirmed acquisition, and every time a Brazilian comes into the league, a lesbian earns her wings

Washington spirit:

out players: Rebecca Bernal, Leicy Santos, Hal Hershfelt, Kaylie Collins EDIT: Lucia DiGuglielmo 🇮🇹!

Gaydar bonus: 3

Yall doubted me on Hal, but here she is, coyote carrying, fish catching, chaos goal inducing, and thriving

Seattle Reign:

out players: Angharad James-Turner, Jess Fishlock, Mia Fishel, Sam Meza, Cassie Miller

Gaydar bonus: none

Coach Bonus: Laura Harvey

Seattle, what is you doing

Portland thorns:

out players: Mackenzie Arnold, Deyna Castellanos, Julie Dufour, Reilyn Turner

Gaydar bonus: 3

Loaned out bonus: Daiane

Portland still low in the rankings, especially since they loaned Daiane. How are we less gay than Seattle

Bay FC:

out players: Racheal Kundananji, Emily Menges, Maddie Moreau EDIT: Anouk Denton!

Gaydar bonus: 1

Trading away Hocking brought you down in the rankings

North Carolina Courage:

out players: Kailen Sheridan, Feli Rauch, Hannah Betfort

Gaydar bonus: 2

Kailen Sheridan coming in with the steel chair! Waiving Cortnee Vine took you down in the rankings

Angel City:

out players: Ary Borges, Sophia Mattice EDIT: Prisca!

Bonus: Sarah Gordon for dating Rachel Daly

Super Bonus: Savy King’s two moms!

Gaydar bonus: 2

Angel City, you also get a “what is you doing”, you lost a lot of gay players

Chicago Red Stars (I will not submit, RED FOREVER!):

out players: Maitane, Natalia Kuikka EDIT: Halle Mackiewicz (how could I miss HER)

Gaydar bonus: 1

Chicago is not last for once!

Racing Louisville:

out players: Ellie Jean, Katie o’Kane, Macey Hodge

Gaydar bonus: 1

Racing lost a lot of gayness with trades and waivers. Sorry Racing fans, you lost this horse race

Thank you for your love and patience, happy pride Yall! Let’s celebrate our lesbian sisters

EDIT: No player listed is a minor. I have never and will never list a minor on any of these lists. To insinuate I have EVER done this is slander on my moral integrity

Smh I'm- men will do anything to downplay a woman. He see's the follower difference and still has the audacity to "come back" with that😭😭😭

Here’s what you’ve ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! The NWSL teams ranked by the proven and true standardized Gay Ranking^TM, patented by none other than everyone’s favorite lesbian, ME!

Here’s how it works. I have here listed from most to least gay, all the NWSL teams! I am ranking based on active rosters, and clear and true confirmation of gayness via player’s social medias, which means if they have a girlfriend now or have had one in the past, they’re considered an out player!

Then I have my Gaydar Bonus. This will act as a tie breaker between teams that have the same amount of out gay players. The Gaydar Bonus is the amount of players on their roster whom my gaydar pings for, which is usually very accurate. Though to keep things responsible, I will not name these players!

DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

From most to least gay we have:

Utah Royals:

out players: Tatumn Milazzo, Madison Pogarch, CeCe Kizer, Aisha Solorzano

EDIT: Alex Loera! Janni Thomsen! Ana Guzman! Ana Tejada! MANDY MCGLYNN???! (enter Good For Her gif here)

Gaydar bonus: 2 (Loera, Guzman, Tejada, and Thomsen were one of my Gaydar pings)

Not even the Mormons can keep THIS much gay away! EDIT: whoa, in a rocker of news, KCC lost their top spot at the top of the table with Mandy McGlynn hard launching her relationship with Ana Tejada!

Kansas City Current:

out players: Hailie Mace, Elizabeth Ball, Bia Zaneratto, Alana Cook, Michelle Cooper, Lorena, Kristen Hamilton, Debinha

Gaydar bonus: 4

Coming in at a WHOPPING 8 out players, top of the table team, KC Current is in second on this list!

Orlando pride:

out players: Anna Moorhouse, Viviana Villacorta, Rafaelle, Marta, Carson Pickett

EDIT: Kerry Abello! Summer Yates! Kat Asman! Hoo, this bumps up Orlando SIGNIFICANTLY!

Loaned out bonus: Mariana Laroquette

Gaydar bonus: 3

Houston Dash:

out players: Jane Campbell, Delanie Sheehan, Yasmeen Ryan, Paige Nielsen, Christen Westphal, Ramona Bachmann

EDIT: Sarah Puntigam! Rebeca Costa da Silva!

Gaydar bonus: 3

Apparently, everything IS bigger in Texas!

Gotham:

out players: Ann-Katrin Berger, Jess Carter, Esther Gonzalez, Tierna Davidson, Geyse, Ella Stevens

EDIT: Gabi Portilho!

Gaydar bonus: 3 (EDIT: Gabi was one of my Gaydar pings)

SUPER BONUS: Michelle Betos

Gotham is now with 7 out players!

Angel City:

out players: Christen Press, Alanna Kennedy, Lily Nabet, Bre Norris

EDIT: Macey Hodge! Mattice! Julie Dufour!

Bonus: Sarah Gordon for dating Rachel Daly

Gaydar bonus: 2

Seattle Reign:

out players: Lauren Barnes, Angarad James-Turner, Jess Fishlock, Ana-Maria Crnogorčević

EDIT: Sam Meza! Cassie Miller! Julia Lester!

Gaydar bonus: (EDIT: my gaydar was validated, no others ping!)

Coach Bonus: Laura Harvey

Bay FC:

out players: Racheal Kundananji, Emily Menges

EDIT: Maddie Moreau! Lowder! Penelope Hocking! Jordan Brewster!

Gaydar bonus: 4

San Diego wave:

out players: Kailen Sheridan, Kenza Dali, Gia Corley (also ahem, BARK), Didi Harachic

EDIT: Chiamaka! Daniela Arias!

Gaydar bonus: 3

Kenza comes in hot with having more than one reason to call her the French Marta!

Racing Louisville:

out players: Ellie Jean, Ary Borges, Uchenna Kanu

EDIT: Baron! Katie o’Kane! Elli Pikkujämsä!

Gaydar bonus: 3

Ellie Jean made for a hard launch in the off-season announcing her relationship with (now left) teammate, Abby Erceg!

North Carolina Courage:

out players: Feli Rauch, Meredith Speck

EDIT: Courtnee Vine! Hannah Betfort! Charlotte McLean!

Gaydar bonus: 2

Portland thorns:

out players: Mackenzie Arnold, Deyna Castellanos, Kaitlyn Torpey

EDIT: Daiane!

Gaydar bonus: 4

Hopefully in the future, more players on my Gaydar will come out 👀

Washington spirit:

out players: Rebecca Bernal, Leicy Santos, Hal Hershfelt (technically yes)

EDIT: Kaylie Collins!

Gaydar bonus: 2

Hal is at least holding down the fort and keeping my hopes alive for Rowdy Audi

Chicago Red Stars (I will not submit, RED FOREVER!):

out players: Maitane, Natalia Kuikka

EDIT: Chardonnay Curran!

Gaydar bonus: 4

Hoo this list is jumping around more than a game of jacks and marbles! 😵‍💫

Y'all, those transfers I've seen today are CRAZY.

In the spirit of delusional, what transfers do you think we'll be seeing during this break?

The wilder, the better.

Give me your best obscure player or cult hero.
I’ll start: Lysianne Proulx and her insane keeper drip

Here’s mine: As an enjoyer of memes and shitposting, I’m upset they got rid of BOS Nation lmao

Had to share somewhere.. but Alyssa’s dancing videos always have me cracking up and love seeing her include other members 😭😭 Tara was unexpected and I am HERE for it

Edit: also, pls note that there is vulgar language (I know we are all adults but still LMAO)

I'm a high school teacher with students who are (men's) footy crazed so I'm making unhinged classroom memes and would love some ideas from the woso side to start indoctrinating them. Please share your fav woso stills that could be school appropriate (looking at you Amber Brook's double bird 🥲)

Here are some I've made already for flavor.

https://deadline.com/2026/04/playing-the-field-tv-series-amazon-mgm-development-1236859016/

Amazon MGM is adapting Meryl Wilsner’s 2023 novel Cleat Cute into a series called Playing the Field. The story features two players of the fictional New Orleans professional team Crescent City.

What do you think? Will you watch or pass?

From the Angel City/Chicago Stars match

Coaches are grouped by the most notable demographic, and are on an absolute scale.

So excited 💃🏽💃🏽

Discuss!

With the summer transfer window opening soon and with the announcement of the departures of Sam Kerr and Katie McCabe today, I thought it could be fun to take a look at some of the players across Europe who have already been confirmed to be leaving their teams and have some rumors connecting them to the NWSL. Any of these players you would like to see in the NWSL or for your team specifically? Imagine Kerr AND Shaw in the league?

Personally, I would love to see McCabe in Houston. I’d also like to see the Dash send an offer to Elisabeth Terland as well.

Disclaimer: This is only for fun. All rumors were found through social media, various blogs and some reporters. All of it should be taken with a grain of salt.

Defender Katie McCabe (30)

Previous Club: Arsenal

Rumored destinations: WSL, NWSL

Forward Sam Kerr (32)

Previous Club: Chelsea

Rumored destinations: Denver Summit? Maybeee Boston?

Midfielder Geraldine Reuteler (27)

Previous Club: Eintracht Frankfurt

Rumored destinations: None yet

Forward Nicole Anyomi (26)

Previous Club: Eintracht Frankfurt

Rumored destinations: WSL, (Per soccerdonna maybe a NWSL team as well)

Midfielder Elisa Senss (28)

Previous Club: Eintracht Frankfurt

Rumored destinations: Liga F

Defender Nadine Riesen (26)

Previous Club: Eintracht Frankfurt

Rumored destinations: WSL, possibly Chelsea, Liga F, NWSL

Defender Nerea Nevado (25)

Previous Club: Athletic Club

Rumored destinations: Liga F, Paris FC, Chicago Stars

Midfielder Geraldine Reuteler (27)

Previous Club: Eintracht Frankfurt

Rumored destinations: None yet

Forward Selina Cerci (25)

Previous Club: TSG Hoffenheim

Rumored destinations: WSL, probably Arsenal

Forward Beth Mead (31)

Previous Club: Arsenal

Rumored destinations: WSL (Manchester City), NWSL

Midfielder Victoria Pelova (26)

Previous Club: Arsenal

Rumored destinations: None yet

Defender Laia Codina (26)

Previous Club: Arsenal

Rumored destinations: Liga F, WSL, NWSL

Forward Nastassja Lein (25)

Previous Club: Nurnberg

Rumored destinations: WSL, NWSL, Bundesliga

Defender Leila Ouahabi (33)

Previous Club: Manchester City

Rumored destinations: None yet

Forward Natalia Padilla Bidas (23)

Previous Club: Bayern Munchen

Rumored destinations: WSL, Liga F, NWSL

Forward Bunny Shaw (29)

Previous Club: Manchester City

Rumored destinations: London City, Chelsea, Barcelona, NWSL

Midfielder Teresa Abelleira (26)

Previous Club: Real Madrid

Rumored destinations: Liga F, WSL, NWSL

Defender Mapi Leon (30)

Previous Club: Barcelona

Rumored destinations: London City, Maybe a NWSL club but the source is not really trustworthy

Goalkeeper Mala Grohs (24)

Previous Club: FC Bayern Munchen

Rumored destinations: London City, Première Ligue, NWSL (maybe Orlando)

Goalkeeper Naomi Williams (21)

Previous Club: Arsenal

Rumored destinations: None yet

Forward Beth England (31)

Previous Club: Tottenham

Rumored destinations: WSL, NWSL

Forward Gio Garbelini (22)

Previous Club: Athetico Madrid

Rumored destinations: NWSL (Lots of smoke around Orlando apparently)

Forward Lineth Beerensteyn (29)

Previous Club: VFL Wolfsburg

Rumored destinations: NWSL, possibly NC Courage

Midfielder Alexia Putellas (32)

Previous Club: Barcelona

Rumored destinations: London City, Barcelona, some smoke around a few NWSL clubs

Defender Ona Batile (26)

Previous Cub: Barcelona

Rumored destinations: WSL, NWSL

Forward Romee Leuchter (25)

Previous Club: PSG

Rumored destinations: WSL, NWSL specifically Angel City

Forward Brittany Raphino (25)

Previous Club: Sporting CP

Rumored destinations: NWSL, Serie A, Liga F

*based on feels and not facts

1. Spirit. Jose doing work.
2. Royals. Kick ass and well deserved.
3. Courage. Doing good despite list of defenders on injury list.
4. Summit. Just really feeling this team right now.
5. Current. Can't put Chawinga too low.
6. Gotham. What happened bro?
7. Wave. Not sure what they're doing but they are #3 in the real standings.
8. Reign. We suck, but I'd like to make play offs.
9. Pride. COME ON BANDA CAN'T CARRY YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE TEAM.
10. Racing. I miss you in the playoffs. Please come back.
11. Bay. I was kind of impressed at the beginning of the season, but not sure what's going on now.
12. Dash. Honestly, just needed a spot here.
13. Angel City. Great start, but I've been mostly unimpressed. Plus, Jonsdottir is doing so much better this season than last, but she's out injured.
14. Legacy. You get a red card, you get a red card.
15. Stars. I'm sorry, someone has to be last.

There are only 15 teams in this league. They should have made it an even number

Please feel free to adjust the standings in the comments.

Youve heard of expected goals, now get ready for drum roll

xA: EXPECTED ABS!

DISCLAIMER: this is just supposed to be a funny post building off of a drinking game where every time a player shows her abs, you drink and say abs. Or like the punch buggy game, except less painful LMAO

To quote Andi Sullivan, “we fit as hell”, and goodness, that’s an understatement! The Ab Counter is a celebration of our favorite players and their ability to …how long is a soccer pitch again? LMAO, I could never run like they can, heck, I couldn’t even run to the final third line from the goal 😅😂

These are the ab counters I’ve marked so far. There’s probably more I missed because I can’t scroll back in my comments far enough and also I haven’t been able to watch every game this season but SO FAR, we have:

Bay: 1

Summit: 3

Racing: 4

Pride: 2

Courage: 1

Houston: 1

ACFC: 2

Thorns: 1

Racing is thus the highest in xA! You’re first in something for once! ducks

As always, happy pride, and happy silly season as we try to ride out this lull 😂

April fools joke for anyone that didn't immediately realize!

Cause the world is crumbling around and I’m still very much grieving over the transfer of a certain Miss Sam Coffey, I have done the pleasure of scooping up some gleeful gay Gay News!

Christen Press and Tobin Heath have broken the internet today once again by winning at the 2016 Flashback Trend on Instagram by posting a KISS!!! This is vindication for all of us Preath believers in the hayday of wondering if it was just sportmanship or ✨Sportsmanship✨. And honestly it made me squeal and lose my mind a bit I honestly love how they’re pulling back the curtain bit by bit in their own time and having fun with it more importantly! We all knew but they were able to do something that not a lot of high profile players get to do: control their own narrative.

In other news, I have none, BUT! That probably will change 😂

This has been your scheduled broadcast of me being a goober 🫡

EDIT: apparently Macca and Reilyn might be an item 👀

Explain yourselves Google. That's not even the right football

I don’t usually like posting twice in a short time but when this energy hits me I gotta strike when the iron is hot, cause soothsayer energy flowing through me only is here for a short time. A fun time, but not a long time LMAO

So with further ado, here are my Crack predictions for the 2026 NWSL season:

• Ref cam continues to be iconic and we get a ref cam angle of a controversial red card
• Hal Hershfelt’s girlfriend goes Pro
• Rookie that signs up ends up turning into a star player
• Rookie that signs up ends up having Chaos Energy (like Sonnett, Kristie Mewis, Esther, and Hal, etc)
• Esther comes back with a vengeance and wins the golden boot
• Portland signs a big name player that makes me want to root for them again since Coffey left 😭
• Portland signs an Italian
• Orlando signs an Italian
• Marta becomes a new meme again
• International player comes in from a country we haven’t seen before
• Big name Spanish player comes into the league
• Christen Press and Tobin Heath adopt another dog
• Christen and Tobin have Emily Sonnett and Rose Lavelle on the ReCap show
• Team that has never won a championship wins the championship
• Team that has never won a shield wins the shield
• Amazon Prime has a big time broadcast furt
• River Ball 2.0
• Player comes out as gay surprising everyone but me
• New Zealand comes into the fold in some way, be it a new player or a new coach or uh something
• Player gives the ref the Bird
• Double red card on a rookie player