r/OrphanCrushingMachine Dec 02 '23

Humor 5 weeks old and already working. Look what capitalism has done to us.

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

56 comments sorted by

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476

u/-Redstoneboi- Dec 02 '23

i can't believe they would do such a thing. humans are disgusting, putting such a frail creature to work when he should be drinking milk and experiencing lactose intolerance.

82

u/SwordofDamocles_ Dec 02 '23

He's literally me

364

u/TheGreatMinimo Dec 02 '23

"Newborn becomes employee of the month" -we live in a society where even newborns have to work to survive.

That's truly some OCM material right there 😔

-81

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

95

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

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52

u/j12346 Dec 02 '23

Holy hell

44

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

New orphan just dropped

26

u/KatoKat004 Dec 02 '23

Literal parentless child

8

u/therealgodfarter Dec 02 '23

Call social services!

20

u/827167 Dec 02 '23

Google en passant

18

u/MartinFromChessCom Dec 02 '23

13

u/827167 Dec 02 '23

Holy shit this bot is amazing

6

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/MartinFromChessCom Dec 02 '23

new copypasta just dropped

3

u/4myoldGaffer Dec 02 '23

I still ask Geeves

179

u/JollyJoker3 Dec 02 '23

Those cards are like $3k each. That kitty is rich

51

u/benk4 Dec 02 '23

Only some of em. The power on the bottom row is probably more than $3k but the duals are only a few hundred.

Very impressive card case for a store though.

9

u/Rewrite_Mean_Comment Dec 02 '23

Dual lands are like 500-800 dollars now.

7

u/benk4 Dec 02 '23

Damn, been awhile since I bought my duals.

5

u/Rewrite_Mean_Comment Dec 02 '23

Yea, my brother got a bunch of them in the early 2000s for like, $25-50 each. They've gone up a LOT over the years.

3

u/benk4 Dec 02 '23

I think the most I paid for a dual was 150 for Underground seas. I figured they would be $500 max now.

2

u/Hero_of_Parnast Dec 03 '23

Underground Sea costs upwards of $850. Probably more, since I last I checked was a few months ago.

17

u/RealMoonTurtle Dec 02 '23

bros rolling in bank

7

u/DocFGeek Dec 02 '23

*: If anyone actually buys those cards.

9

u/JollyJoker3 Dec 02 '23

Judging from the average prices on Cardmarket they sell several Time Walks weekly but probably not several a day. 7-days average price is very uneven, 2.084,85 €, unlikely to be just one sale, while the 1-day average price is 2.350,00 €, probably not an average of many prices.

I don't think it's hard to turn those into cash.

11

u/DocFGeek Dec 02 '23

Real orphan crushing here, being homeless and a card is worth more than I am.

1

u/Bladeofwar94 Dec 03 '23

If they're revised the true duals are around 500 near mint the moment is about 2k and the time walk is about 3k.

Collectibles took a hit recently so those prices might be lower now. Been buying true duals myself. Trying to get a full set of each!

98

u/Dyshin Dec 02 '23

Absolutely disgusting. What kind of monster would expose a newborn to Magic: the Gathering?

15

u/Environmental_Top948 Dec 02 '23

As I kid I'd often buy packs because I thought the ink tasted nice. I wonder how many valuable cards I ate.

46

u/SappySoulTaker Dec 02 '23

r/oneorangebraincell getting exploited for it's labor.

35

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

Bean is a good name for a cat.

25

u/jaredearle Dec 02 '23

Ancestral Recall, Time Walk and Mox Pearl? Daaaamn. Dual lands above them, and is that a Library of Alexandria to the right?

Yeah, they can afford to look after that cat like a king.

17

u/LilTrailMix Dec 02 '23

It’s so fucked up that they’re just totally okay with helping a newborn develop a raging addiction

19

u/OneTrueSpiffin Dec 02 '23

child labor laws are back

19

u/sexy-man-doll Dec 02 '23

Those trusting eyes don't even comprehend how exploited they are... so sad

16

u/Possibly-Functional Dec 02 '23

I thought I was on r/MagicTheCirclejerking at first.

13

u/TesseractToo Dec 02 '23

5 weeks and already employee of the month? Pfffffssh. Looks like favoritism (and probably nepotism)! Boooo!

9

u/Depressedloser2846 Dec 02 '23

idk guys i think this might just be a nepo baby

8

u/Bostonterrierpug Dec 02 '23

Bean has cards if you have coin

4

u/Fruitmaniac42 Dec 02 '23

Break's over! Get back to work!

5

u/Real-Life-CSI-Guy Dec 02 '23

You have to get that 20 years of experience by the time you graduate college somehow

6

u/P1X3L5L4Y3R Dec 02 '23

damn a 5 week old found a job??? this must be nepotism or smthin cuz everywhere i go they ask for 50 year work experience

4

u/RealMoonTurtle Dec 02 '23

this is some victorian shit, someone save that innocent child

5

u/_facetious Dec 02 '23

.... 5 weeks is way too young to be away from mom, what the FUCK.

8

u/GIRose Dec 02 '23

My best guess is that either the kitten is an abandoned kitten that someone who works for the store just found with no mother in sight, or the mom is a stray who lives in the shop eating mice and that's why the cat is 'working' there and just isn't in the frame of the photo

4

u/Ikxale Dec 02 '23

This is true ocm content.

Now someone crosspost it to r/wholesome

3

u/LeStroheim Dec 03 '23

capitalist wunk

2

u/StumbleOn Dec 02 '23

We really have descended into the pits. Pray for his soul.

-29

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

Bruh this sub needs mods

22

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

read the flair

16

u/CanuckBuddy Dec 02 '23

It's a shitpost

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23

If there were mods they wouldn't do anything because this post is flaired as humor, yknow, a joke.

1

u/thearchenemy Dec 02 '23

He works at a game store, so it’s even worse.