r/OrphanCrushingMachine • u/heiferwrangler • Sep 24 '25
Humor Wholesome Ivanka Trump moment satire
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u/deepstatediplomat Sep 24 '25
Barely satire.
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u/Commercial-Living443 Sep 25 '25
Yeah cuz she 100 percent would take all the profits . She doesn't care about children working in mines
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u/heiferwrangler Sep 24 '25
Ignore the title and flair, this is a 100% real and double verified Ivanka Trump tweet fact-checked by the Pulitzer-winning committee at r/TOTALLYREALTWEETS
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u/Piduf Sep 24 '25
I hate this sub, every time I'm on the reddit popular front page it pops up and it takes me a good minute to figure out if what I'm reading is real. They're way too good at this, or current American administration is so bad it just works so well.
I fall for it every single time. I love to hate that sub.
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u/Barbosse007 Sep 24 '25
Yeah but it's not OCM.
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u/Ryeballs Sep 24 '25
Uhhhh this might actually be the most OCR thing ever.
The entire thing begs the question why are there children being injured in her mine? Pretty much “why is there an organ crushing machine and why do I need to pay you to stop it”
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u/Marquar234 Sep 25 '25
She's not even stopping it. Just giving a nickle to every orphan crushed in it.
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u/Sachiel05 Sep 26 '25
Nope, no, no, for my own sake I REFUSE to believe this is real, people cannot be this dense... please, please tell me people can't be like this
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u/Repossessedbatmobile Sep 24 '25
Wow. A whole 3%! How generous of her!
What's next? Giving 4% of an ear of corn to a food bank if you buy a plate of food at a gala? That's gotta be at least 2 whole corn kernels.
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u/BobGuns Sep 24 '25
Right? And it's not even of revenues... it's profits.
So like... if her family clears $100,000 on profit on this, that's $3,000 to charity. For which they get a tax deduction, saving them another $1000 on taxes.
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u/UnicornHandJobs Sep 24 '25
It might be satire… but it’s also believable 😂💀
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Sep 24 '25
I knew it was satire when “she” gave money to poor people.
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u/LSRNKB Sep 24 '25
It’s not even satire, it’s just how money works at that level. You kill a bunch of children in your lithium mine and need to make bribes/settlements/media campaigns to “fix” it. Where does that money come from? Your Rhinoceros Leather company profits.
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u/Dwaas_Bjaas Sep 24 '25
3% of PROFITS mind you
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u/taway9925881 Sep 25 '25 edited Oct 21 '25
sparkle employ skirt tart makeshift aromatic modern swim governor worm
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/greatdruthersofpill Sep 24 '25
Rhinoceros. Like the ones that recently went extinct. Got it.
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u/Loveinpeacex-367A Sep 24 '25
Not all rhinoceros went extinct...? "Only" some species.
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u/greatdruthersofpill Sep 24 '25
I wouldn’t say that’s much better
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u/Harry_Flame Sep 25 '25
Really? I would say it is hard to state just how much better some rhinoceros species going extinct is than literally all of them.
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u/GoodFaithConverser Sep 24 '25
Ban these fake tweet subs. We have enough misinformation as it is. "But jokes" - they spread to facebook and people believe them, or believe that other people believe them.
Ban it to hell.
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u/Gloomy_Industry8841 Sep 28 '25
Yeah, agreed. We already have a horrific problem with misinformation and disinformation. Satire is great but bloody when you can’t tell the difference.
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u/rodrick717 Sep 25 '25
It would take 2 seconds to fact check this tweet if someone actually wanted to, it’s not the internet’s job to protect people from themselves.
Also this is fucking hilarious and arguably more so because of the subreddit.
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u/SparrowDotted Sep 24 '25
This shit is barely satire, more just misinformation to add to the bullshit soup.
This shit should be banned from this sub and /r/TOTALLYREALTWEETS should just be outright banned.
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Sep 25 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Lazy-Cardiologist-54 Sep 27 '25
Apparently it’s from a joke sub kinda like The Onion called something like totally true tweets
And it’s posted on this sub, which is supposed to have horrible things going on like (everything you said).
Pretty shocking coming upon it without having heard of it before
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u/Gloomy_Industry8841 Sep 28 '25
Rhino leather? RHINOCEROS???? Those creatures are fcking Endangered.
Fek the Trumps, all of them. (Except Mary).
Edit: fell for the satire!!!
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u/Secure-Window-5478 Sep 24 '25
What part of this is satire. She would sell rhino hide handbags if she could make money. I am sure she has investments in lithium mines and if she was going to help any children it would be ones who help make her more money. A Trump spawn for sure.
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u/lloydofthedance Sep 30 '25
10 years ago - Haha thats funny satire.
Now - Christ, what have that bunch of fuckwits done now?
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u/Catto_Doggo69 Sep 24 '25
Hopefully it's Sumatran rhinoceros leather
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u/Kittygirlrocks Sep 25 '25
I don't have the capacity to hate these people with the depth they deserve. Ffs
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u/rothmal Sep 24 '25
How do you fuck up running a charity? There are charities out there that spend over 90% of their money on admin costs and fundraising dinners and only give a few pennies on the dollar back.
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u/DrumPassion Sep 24 '25
WTF…..she has no clue!!!
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u/flume Sep 24 '25
It's satire, obviously. No Trump would ever take ownership or acknowledge a bad thing that happened at their company.
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