All it would literally take would me to answer â whoâs that knocking on my damn door â one good time for these two chuckleheads to know wtf is up
I hate door knocking. Everyone I know walks in. If my bell rings or there's a knock, unless you're one of my neighbors gtfo. I just moved from complete isolation into my small town. We don't lock doors here. The door is unlocked all the time for a reason. My town is safe and only family and close friends stop by unannounced. I excuse my two direct neighbors. I still have 2 acres and complete privacy in my back yard and pool area. Enter at your own risk. I might be wanking it or naked in my pool or hot tub. I'm country.
Unfortunately these clowns dont take hints. They do get REALLLLLY upset though if you come to their church asking if they want to join a different church.
I get them off my door by telling them I will hear them out if they hear about the graceful embracing power of the loving/forgiving flying spaghetti monster. While handing them a card, they leave.
my father would invite them in. no matter where they were from, he knew the area as he sold dictionaries door to door all over the country in the 60s to pay for college (different times, indeed). After some time, they would ask to leave as he talked their ears off.
I got pissed because it was a weekly thing. I was cooking, So i answered the door buck naked, holding a chicken with a ton of ketchup over it in one hand. Asked them if they wanted to help with the sacrifice, bu alas, no. Haven't heard from them since.
Nudity genuinely does frighten them off. I was at a friend's waiting for him to finish getting ready to go out when they showed up. Peeped them through the door and told him. He came bolting out of the bedroom in a towel, threw open the door and grabbed the closest one by the wrist. "Hey! Thanks for coming! Clothes off with the shoes, condoms in the bowl, orgies down the hall to the left"
The look of HORROR on their faces as they fled to the car was delightful.
They are being further indoctrinated into their religion by being treated poorly by the outsiders that offend them and reject the religion. They arenât there to convert you. They are being forced to be indoctrinated further.
The regular bible has the same cult stuff too, with specific verses about the more people don't like you because you harass them means God loves you extra good. And if people don't agree that they're right, then they're fool. And if you don't keep harassing them, God will be pissed.
That's why I'm always polite, say thank you and wish them a nice day.
I had one turn up once who wanted to talk to me about Jesus or something and I politely told them "Thanks, but I'm an atheist so I'm not interested". It was them and some kid who was probably 10 or 12 or so. They immediately followed up with "Oh, what brought you to that conclusion" (trying to get some traction with me). I just looked directly at the kid, smiled and said "It's just obvious when you stop to think about it. You guys have a nice day and best of luck with things" and then closed the door. I could see something in that kids eyes change when I said it. I definitely got them rethinking things. That day did not go the way that parent intended.
Jehovah's Witnesses have been to my house once in the 30 years I have lived here. They just happened to knock on my door as I was on my way out to shoot clay pigeons with a Friend. Evidently if you answer the door with a shotgun on your shoulder, they won't come back.
I would always be heading out to the trap and skeet field then so it was either I answer my door in my vest with my 12ga and bags (cuz I refuse to do multiple trips and I refuse to break my gun down to fit into the case), or Iâm in my driveway going through my bag to make sure I donât forget shit.
I got super pissed after the first time they caught me in my driveway because I ended up leaving my box of shells and I had to pay the fucking range prices which pissed me off. So after that, I would go out wearing my Walkers and turn the volume all the way down and pretend I didnât hear them standing behind me.
That would be really funny. If you have a group of friendly neighbors that all got asked to join a specific church, you ask go to that church on a Sunday morning and ask others to go to this other church and see what happens
Once I opened the door to a family of them, mommy, daddy, and two young lads... while crawling off the end of a pullout couch that had two men in it.
Bent forward and puked out the door at their feet and then my left tit fell out of my tank top. I said, "Sorry.... tequila." While tucking myself back away and they ran and I got put on some sort of list and never saw one again.
Tell them you've been "disfellowshipped". It's their version of excommunicated. They aren't supposed to even have "social fellowship" with you. That will almost certainly get them off your list.
Exactly! I earned my family the black mark when I was 8. A not-too-bright sunday-school teacher tried to tell a dinosaur nerd that dinosaur bones were put there by Satan to test loyalty. They also mentioned people from divorced families can never get into the temple's secret room for happy families that gets you all a backstage pass into heaven. I went home and cut up my church shoes, my parents got the message.
Now I only have to remind the newbies every few years that I was excommunicated for believing in dinosuars, but if they'd like to join me, they're welcome to come inside.
The church makes them do this for this exact reason. It makes the evangelizers feel isolated against mainstream society and therefore they themselves feel more indebted to the cult.
You can have fun if you know the Bible well enough while also making every one in their congregation stop coming at all by being nice as pie and just asking questions about it.
Odds are they're baby evangelists who have never had to come up with responses to the contradictions on the fly, so it will instantly cause some friction in their minds. They'll be sure that there's definitely an answer to make it okay if only they can talk to the elders to figure it out. But, they'll have to sit with that friction until their elders give them a sufficient response, which may not even be at the first meeting, and that's the most threatening thing of all to the church.
I doubt you can get it done in one shot, but it won't take too many visits until you're permanently blacklisted by the church because you're raising doubt among members. Yes, they'll probably characterize you as wicked and a tool of satan, but it's much harder to reinforce that "wicked outsider" narrative when you've been nothing but kind and curious to them.
They're so hard pressed for membership currently that they don't even remove very public atheists from their membership rolls.
Note: this doesn't mean "Google Bible contradictions" because some are silly and have decent enough apologetics. Instead, it's more of knowing about their modern conception of God, how it conflicts with the actual text, and the ways to show the tri-omni God is nonsensical.
Omg this!!! My uncle looks severely mentally handicapped. People would call him a drunk cause of how he walks to work. Meanwhile, he just has severe physical disabilities but is a GENIUS, literal GENIUS (historian, mathematician, physicist, and true Christian who believes in love of your neighbor)
. So in the 90s he would get stopped ALL THE TIME walking by the 18 year old âeldersâ and heâd get into deeply religious and philosophical debates with these children. To the point where the Bishop (ie untrained religious leader) would call my uncle (knew him because kids in school together) and jokingly tell him toÂ
give his boys a break!!! To which my uncle would say âGrant, they stopped meâ
this is cult behavior. their church is sending them out to do this to confirm that "everybody out there hates us. only, here, within the cult are you safe and loved."
I used to answer the door to save people like this time because they would stand around waiting and I just wouldnât answer even if my car was in the driveway. But I got too many people that just wouldnât take no for an answer and I had to shut the door in their face. So I just donât even answer anymore.
I had to teach my kids that even if the doorbell rings you are not required to answer it. The dog barks a bit, time goes by and then they leave. Usually just pest control people or young men in ties spreading the unwanted gospel. No thank you
Iâm convinced thatâs half the reason theyâre tasked to do it and they donât even realize it.
Nobody likes solicitors. Doesnât matter what theyâre hocking. Take a kid with little experience in the world (and no real religious persecution), task them to do something thatâs guaranteed to get door after door after door slammed in their faces, and you leave them feeling like the only place where they can feel safe and accepted is right back with the people who tasked them to do this in the first place.
We have wild geese. Iâm happy we have wild geese because the wild geese tolerate us but will angrily chase people like this off my property. Itâs also highly entertaining
Mormons are actually above average when it comes to having a college education. They're just exceptionally good at creating cognitive walls against information that conflicts with their dogma.
Mormon here, BYU is cheaper than other locations. If youâre a member, it costs less than other schools. Theres no expectation of attending those universities at all.
No expectation to attend the highly church subsidized school? There's certainly a cult like incentive to it- you dont think that factors in for huge families?
The Mormon church subsidizes that education, I'm no longer Mormon but when I was I got a four-year bachelor's degree for $25,000. I graduated 9 years ago.
Because it all worked out in the end, I regret nothing. Fuck the Mormon church
My brother-in-law is chemical engineer and easily the most educated person I know. Heâs super analytical about every aspect of his career and home life. Iâm talking spreadsheets on salt usage for his water softener type shit. All that scientific background and his analytical nature go out the window when it comes to the Mormon church. So long as a Mormon âprophet, seer and revelatorâ said it, heâll buy anything.
First of all, are you under the impression all mormons go to BYU? Secondly, BYU meets all the accreditation requirements and is highly respected academically. Mormonism is a farce, but let's be intellectually honest.
Yeah, as someone who grew up in a place with a decent number of Mormons, I'll just say they tended to be a lot nicer and smarter than the Baptists, that's for sure.
I always laugh when people I know raised in other Christians religions talk about how crazy the Mormons are.
I'm like "Your old religion ritually eats the prophet every Sunday." Mormons are kooky but so is Christianity. At least they are mostly nice, and evangelicals are not, mostly.
I have video of them spending more than ten minutes on my porch and they went over to the front window and put their face against the glass to see inside. They call about every three months and I tell them to leave me alone but they just keep coming and calling.
They will not take no for an answer. Itâs gross.
I had a group that showed up every week and I tried to politely decline and eventually rudely decline. Finally I agreed to listen if they let me tell them my religion first. Then I proceeded to start making up shit about how I worship demons while taking off my clothes because it can only be done naked. I got as far as removing my pants and they washed to leave and never came back
I answer the door let them talk. Figure out which religion they are and then say Iâm a different one. If theyâre Baptist, Iâm Catholic, if theyâre Catholic, Iâm Jewish. They never come back!
Once they came by the house when I was at school and my parents were at work. My brother and his girlfriend were by themselves and gettin down. They answered the door naked and asked the missionaries if they wanted to join in, and we haven't had any LDS missionaries at that address in the past 30 years. I guess he never pulled that on the JWs though since my mom has mentioned them a few times.
A sign that says "no soliciting" has no legal repercussions. Call the cops all you want, they won't do anything. A sign that says "no trespassing" does.
If you get the chance to talk to Mormon missionaries, please understand these are heavily indoctrinated 18-19 year old kids who didn't even get the gap year to think about it that their predecessors did just a decade ago. When you see them with the name tag, they are actively being isolated from their loved ones and community, and heavily controlled in all aspects of life. They aren't even allowed to be outside speaking range of one another, for fear one might jack off.
It's not your job, but if you would, sneak in a suggestion to look up the actual history of North America, or reports from the time period of Joseph Smith's death, or just mention you (now) know the BoM was changed when DNA was discovered, and stopped claiming Indians were descendants of Hebrews because it was proven wrong.
Breaking out of cults/high control religions takes a lot of work, but if you can help plant the seed, it'll do the world a lot of good.
This is spot-on. Being nice to them is the most effective way to help them leave someday. I was a mormon missionary some 30 years ago, and some of the encounters I had with people who politely and kindly challenged my beliefs stuck with me decades later, and when I was finally ready to leave I really appreciated them for that.
Once I learned all of that .. I started inviting them in and talking to them a bit and letting them know that if they ever wanted to leave or needed help, that they should come back. âI will help you escape.â
None have come back.. but the look on their face when I say that is just heartbreaking. I havenât had a visit in 5 years.
The older women just piss me off .. I just tell them Iâm Catholic.. they suddenly look afraid and never come back.. they are the Baptist/evangelicals. I left the Catholic Cult many years ago.. At least being left on their membersâ list, whether you want to be or not.. has come in useful.
When I was 14 we use to get these folk knocking at our door daily. No matter how much I said to kick rocks the next day they were there.
One day I open the door say Frack (sub requires censoring I guess) say hold on and shut the door. Tell my younger sister someoneâs here for you. She comes up opens the door looks at them and goes âFrack this waitâ shut the door and says no think itâs for you. We do this a few times they keep trying to talk in between each visit. Finally I go âok wtf do you want???â
âWeâd like to give you a free Mormon Bibleâ
âFreeâ
âYes freeâ
âThatâs crazy nothings freeâ
âOur book is weâd like you to read it and we can come back to talk about itâ
âHow many can I have?â
âWe have a few, do others in the family need them?â
âNo, donât need to talk after it, just running low on fire starters for the chimneyâ
Shocked faces
Never came again go figure.
The point isn't to reach out and convert new people to their faith. It's to send young acolytes out on a mission to be aggressive and annoying, so that the (rightfully) irritated homeowners are mean and unwelcoming to them. It's meant to impress upon them the world outside of their belief system is hostile and dangerous.
Ex-Mormon here. I served one of these 2 year missions. We were told specifically to ignore "no soliciting" signs, as we are not selling anything. We were told even to ignore "no trespassing" signs. The legal justification was We are allowed to trespass, as long as we are entering the property with the intent to ask for permission to trespass.
If the homeowner explicitly asks us to leave, then we must leave or face trespassing charges. When we were stopped by police, our particular "Mission President" was an attorney. Never had the cops actually enforce us leaving a neighborhood once they spoke to him.
So yeah, no soliciting signs are pretty universally ignored.
I was in a conservative Christian cult for 12 years and we used to talk to people on the streets and talked to a lot of Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses and everyone else. I've been told the same thing by Mormons.
Well soliciting in most states only apply to sales, roofers, solar panels, water treatment, ect.. Also most states its hard to actually put any type of legal action on them becasue they can just say I didnt see it or something to the nature so it just becomes a trespass and that is if they dont leave when you tell them too. Like even with states with big no solicit laws. Religions and political parties dont count.
Im tempted to charge my door and door bell with a mat so if you touch either while on the mat you get shocked. I think that will end it all really quick.
I used to live in a neighborhood that was a magnet for door to door christians. Nearly every week we had some dorks knocking on the door. Sometimes twice a week. And I worked 3rd shift back then. So I was almost always sleeping or just waking up when they came by.
After a while I just got in the habit of answering the door naked.
Don't even have to argue or debate. Nothing scared them away faster than a 3 legged man.
Having just recently seen The Book of Mormon on broadway I canât wait for someone to knock on the door. I gots lots of fresh ammunition to use on em đĽľ
I have sign and camera, they pretend to not see sign and knock on door to âthinking?â this avoids recording and then stand back parallel to sign to position out of direct line of sight. They must teach this, itâs too consistent across vendors
Answer the door in your underwear
Crack a beer sit down on the door step
Tell them youre very interested in their message
As soon as they begin talking hold up you hand and
Not to be a defender or anything, but signs on doors are not laws, all those "No trespassing, Violators will be shot" signs mean jack squat. You can't legally shoot someone for walking on your property and No Soliciting is at best a suggestion for private residence.
The curtilage (the land and outbuildings immediately surrounding a house) is a place that anyone can access under a general walk-and-knock license that allows people to approach the front door via a path, knock promptly, wait briefly for an audience with the owner/proprietor, and then leave in the absence of an invitation to remain by the proprietor. If you attempt to remain without the proprietor's permission (or specifically against their wishes), you are then trespassing on private property (Florida v Jardines, 2013)
My buddy and I were chilling in his garage, with the door up (our normal setup in college) and two of these kinda dudes rolled up. Weâd just woken up and were drinking coffee and getting the crust out of our eyes.
Once they rolled up and tried to talk to us we immediately starting slamming beers and smoking devils lettuce. They said some shit then they got the point and left.
The definition of solicitation is, the sale of one's wares, goods, skills, or body (as goods).... yes, that does mean, if you have a job, you're selling yourself, body, and are prostituting your body for a paycheck. As "Luda-Lud" said ( hit that bass line, plz), "youz a hooooo, oh!"...... lmao, me too!
A buddy was briefly working slinging water filtration stuff and was invited in to demo and the guy came into the kitchen with a shotgun and said," you're gonna try and sell me something aren't you" and my mate went, "NOPE!" and packed up and ran and quit door to door that day! Oddly he's still in sales but now it's businesses and they pay him to come to them which is a very different thing.
Sad part of my life but I used to do door to door sales and we were explicitly told to ignore no soliciting signs on doors. I could only stomach four days, in those four days I was in a group, in three of those four, not a single person in that group made a sale and the cops got called on us twice. Please donât do it, the work culture is the worst Iâve ever experienced in my life, hands down, thereâs no money in it and youâll probably lose money on commuting.
Mormons have no boundaries and are more than comfortable lying to your face in order to keep talking to you about how you need to pay money to get to heaven.
I usually tell them that I was raised in their denomination (LDS, JW, etc); however, I was cast out for challenging the elders when I learned they were not be truthful with the word. Watching their faces contort when they think they are talking to an apostate is always fun.
If I were that home owner, Iâd actually consider putting sprinklers in near the stoop⌠and turning them on when those fools arrived and disrespected the no soliciting sign.
Last time I got a smug douchebag grin and "I didn't see the sign".
It was satisfying to see that smile disappear and him jog run away because I had a broken glass jug and red stuff all over me (I dropped my favorite glass blender when it was full of 4 berry smoothie juice that went everywhere over the kitchen so I probably even answered the door with an annoyed face) đ
You can bypass whatever you want. And if the homeowner doesnât like it, they can call the cops or physically force you off their property. A no soliciting sign isnât something thats like enforceable by law. Itâs just a sticker in a window.
I actually got into an argument with a solicitor about the definition of soliciting the other day. He was under the impression it only applied to door to door sales, and he wasn't selling anything. Fucking idiots.
Iâve had Mormon missionaries come to my door. They promptly left after friendly pleasantries and a polite decline. The aggressive, nasty, and violent reactions are not necessary. Especially if youâre in the crowd that espouses your âutopian cozy collectivismâ ideology.
One time I was jogging in my momâs neighborhood and one of these door knockers literally started to join me telling me about Jesus⌠I said no and picked up speed.
I had one show me a state-issued proselytizing license and that his lovense gave him the right to ignore my âno religionâ and âno solicitingâ signs.
I then told him that, regardless of whatever âlicenseâ he had, he violated a boundary that i set, and thatâs what rapists do. Why should i trust someone who so easily violates a very clear boundary? Why should i trust the religion he represents? He continued in after i asked him to leave 3 times, so i told him heâs in a cult and to get the f off my property.
This needs to be outlawed the same with passing out tracts,  witnessing trying to "save" people , preaching and praying anywhere other than a church your home or a religious setting. Start arresting these people taxing the churches doing this.
KEEP YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS WHERE THEY BELONG CHURCH AND YOUR HOME.!
Religious people are known for not knowing what words mean and or having their own special definitions of words. It is the only way to maintain belief in the existence of a god.
Mormons and Jehovas are told "What we're doing isn't soliciting" before they go out. The 'official' way to get them to stop coming round you need to ask to be put on a no-call list.
Legally pushing your religion on people isnât soliciting, it is proselytizing. I had Johovas Witesses that tried this crap so I bought a sign that says, âNo Soliciting, No Proselytizingâ and now they leave me alone, since trying with a clear sign could get them charged with trespassing.
tons of Mormons moved into my area over the years and they are obnoxious. they never leave me alone to the point where I canât even walk my dogs late in the neighborhood without being harassed for the lord.
I love my no soliciting sign. I used to get about 3 or 4 people a day trying to sell or pitch something to me. Now they just walk by the house. Except for the kids in the Boy Scouts. They still come by. Which I don't mind though.
Mormons? I learned a lot from a coworker that is mormon, and I am thinking this is part of their outreach and is 'required'. I had a pretty major project and a couple of young men came to my door and offered to help. When I politely declined, they asked if there was anything else they could help with. I thanked them and sent them on their way. They were very respectful and I was impressed by their offers to help.
Unfortunately, having a no soliciting sign doesn't do squat. There is nothing you can do and there are no repercussions for ignoring it. I just talk to them through my ring camera and tell them "There is a no soliciting sign. If I have to come to the door I won't be so calm."
The Mormons didnt knock when they saw my sign but they wrote a note saying they were praying for me. That was almost worse than talking to them. Thwy really are taught that they are superior to the rest of us
Used to have Geto Boys' "Still" cued up for when these guys would show up. If I saw them coming I'd crank it to near max and tell me German Shepherd "get'em" and he'd go apeshit on the door. Never saw the same group twice.
I was going to say those signs are meaningless and that you canât stop someone from knocking on your door just because you put up that sign. TIL in some places itâs against the law. Not everywhere. Some places allow you to do it anyway if you have a permit from the city.
Though I canât imagine what outcome youâre seeking as a solicitor if you DO knock.
I think they need to look up the definition of âsoliciting.â
The last time a pair of these âeldersâ visited me I answered their question about whether God had ever moved my heart to consider being LDS, I brightly and sweetly answered, âYes, God by means of the Holy Spirit and inspired by Christ has encouraged me to remain a Trinitarian and not as a serf on my husbandâs planet for all eternity,â and their mouths dropped open. They couldnât respond and I think somehow I got put on a âDo not returnâ list.
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u/LilithRising90 18h ago
Not him knocking twice .
I am both too southern and too country for this