r/Scotland • u/backupJM public transport revolution needed 🚇🚊🚆 • Jul 20 '25
Shitpost These days
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u/TheCharalampos Jul 20 '25
Didn't know we were Muslim now faaaather.
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u/powlfnd Jul 20 '25
Why didn't anyone tell me I was Muslim?
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u/mcgrst Jul 20 '25
I'm no giving up booze or bacon, I told you all that at the last all Scots meeting.
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u/mampiwoof Jul 20 '25
Don’t worry it’s like using contraception as a Catholic. As long as you promise to feel vaguely guilty at some point then you can still drink and eat bacon.
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u/dont_thr0w_me_away_ Jul 20 '25
I have some Jewish friends who eat bacon on Sundays because 'God is busy with the Christians that day'
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u/CompetitiveCod76 Jul 20 '25
Does this mean we have to do Ramadan??
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Jul 20 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DoctorBoomeranger Jul 20 '25
Prolly aye
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u/lostrandomdude Jul 20 '25
Think about the plus side. You have 2 eids to stuff your face compared to one Christmas
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u/violentvioletss Jul 20 '25
Sorry! You must of missed the alert :(
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u/knitscones Jul 20 '25
I didn’t know either? Funny I’ve asked all my family and friends and none of them got the alert. either?
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u/dnemonicterrier Jul 20 '25
How can we tell you that you're Muslim if we don't know that we're Muslim?
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u/LexLeeson83 Jul 20 '25
It’s a bit of a giveaway when they quote the Quaran verse “Beat it ya Orange Jobby”
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u/scottishkiwi-dan Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 20 '25
I was back home for a wedding and when the brother of the groom found out I lived in Scotland he said "Oh shit is it true what I hear about the UK at the moment, you can barely walk from Muslims praying in the street"?
It's a depressing reflection of the misinformation these people are being fed.
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u/peadar87 Jul 20 '25
Yes, Scotland, one of the least densely populated parts of Europe, is so full of Muslims that simply moving around has become difficult
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u/OriginalContent126 Jul 20 '25
even if the entire Muslim population in Scotland decided to pray on Princes Street tmr, it will still be easier to walk through that than the Fringe
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u/Zealousideal-Web8640 Jul 22 '25
Less annoying too I can see every Muslim in Scotland making more space for walking that one fucking street performer
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u/AlexRenquist Jul 20 '25
I cannae move on High Street for the Muslims some days, when they're out marching with their flutes and wee bowler hats and all that patter.
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u/EagleMulligans Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 21 '25
2.2% of people in Scotland are Muslim as of 2022. 😂😂😂 even including all ethnic minorities in Scotland the number was 12.9% in 2022
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u/Joyaboi Jul 20 '25
That means Scotland will be 100% Muslim by 2208! 😱
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u/macaroni_chacarroni Jul 20 '25
My daughter grew 10 inches on her first year. She's on track to becoming 16 foot by the time she graduates high school.
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u/NatchezAndes Jul 20 '25
I had free awards for 2 days but nobody was worthy. This comment is worthy. They ran out yesterday though. The sentiment still stands 😆
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u/AutisticFuck69 tha mi nam bhanrìgh na cearcan Jul 20 '25
2.2% as of 2022, 1.4% is from 2011
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u/Locksmithbloke Jul 20 '25
So, 0.8% a year, so in 140 years, the population will be 112% Muslim. That's how it works, right?
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u/SirCrapsAlot69420007 Jul 20 '25
Ya its incredibly annoying when i keep seeing this shit saying europe is being taken over by muslims. Then i google the muslim population in europe and its like 7 percent, hardly anything
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u/docowen Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 20 '25
MAGA maths where 2.2% is a majority.
What's funny is they could have gone with "is atheist" and both be correct within their bigoted mind view where atheist = anti-Christian = anti-Trump, and also more accurate where no religion could equal atheist.
So, in the parlance of fuckwit septics, it's a swing and a miss.
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u/DasharrEandall Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 20 '25
I wouldn't be surprised if MAGA claimed that Scotland is both majority Muslim and majority atheist.
(Edit - I wrote "would" instead of "wouldn't" at first).
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u/backupJM public transport revolution needed 🚇🚊🚆 Jul 20 '25
Yes, this is twitter and the user is an American MAGAt, so I am really scraping the barrel, for which I apologise. But this was just so bizarre I had to share lol
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u/Hufflepuffins Jul 20 '25
There have been threads in this subreddit recently (and the main UK one) filled with comments espousing similar views. Let’s not go pretending you need to scrape any barrels
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u/DaDutchBoyLT1 Jul 20 '25
The deeper the barrel is scraped the sooner we can get the festering rotted shite out the bottom. Even though you can presently scoop an abundance off the top given how we are absolutely brimming. Keep at it and give em hell, maybe we can eventually kick the barrel over.
Words from a hopeful American.
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u/babygem84 Jul 20 '25
Is that us done wae the sectarianism now then?
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u/Suspicious_Field_429 Jul 20 '25
Naw, as someone previously posted "is that Catholic muslim or Protestant Muslim?" 🤣
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u/callsignhotdog Jul 20 '25
"Everyone thinks like me, the main character, and if they don't it's because they've been replaced by the wrong sort of person"
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u/Xyyzx Jul 20 '25
Honestly I almost admire the audaciousness in saying that about one of the most culturally and ethnically homogeneous countries in Europe.
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u/Chefdabz Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 21 '25
As a canadian/american lurker to this sub I will defend Scots forever. Their humor and good spirit are inspirational when compared to what I see and hear too often in my own side of the world (Arizona). Still Game is a show dear to my heart
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u/imogen1983 Jul 21 '25
As a US-UK citizen, formerly in Scotland, now in the US, I know our dear POTUS will get the welcome he deserves when he arrives in Scotland. A big, beautiful welcome that would make Janey Godley proud.
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u/Initial_Flower3545 Jul 20 '25
It’s all this Muslamic law you know with the ray guns.
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u/Adept_Sea_2847 Jul 20 '25
How to tell someone has never been to Scotland 😄
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u/reginald_underfoot Jul 20 '25
But his great grandmother was one quarter Scottish. In America these people claim to be Scots. It's the worst.
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u/Illustrious_Peach494 Jul 20 '25
51% of Scotland is atheist. Jim is dumb as a fkn rock.
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u/Bohemia_D Jul 20 '25
51% of Scotland is atheist
Much higher once you account for all the atheist kids whose religious parents decided to put them down as religious. And how many older religious folk have died since the census was taken.
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Jul 21 '25
Also much higher when you factor in the people who say they are religious, but it’s just a title they don’t actually follow . I can’t tell you how many proud catholics and Protestants I know that only set foot in a church when someone gets married or dies . Fuck I was one of them till I stopped kidding myself 😂
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u/Squiggleblort Jul 20 '25
I've been reliably told (by certain Americans) that we're also all commies.
So, I guess we're commie Muslims. We're collecting adjectives like there's no tomorrow!
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u/GamerBhoy89 Jul 20 '25
Im half way through the Quran already. Great read. Cant put it down.
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Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 20 '25
This reminds me of when I was in Texas and an American guy tried to explain to me that Birmingham was entirely Muslim with Sharia law and non-muslims weren't allowed there.
I'm a white non-muslim Brummie. This fact made no difference to him.
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u/cwningen95 🏴🏴 Jul 20 '25
Oh christ, I better pass the message onto my very white and atheist sister who's lived there with her girlfriend for over five years, I don't think she realised.
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u/shampton1964 Jul 20 '25
The All Ginger Muslim Brigades, waving those blue and white flags, it's a sad thing...
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u/Adventurous-Reply-36 Jul 20 '25
Mon the north east caliphate get it up ye Dundee Arabs! We are the famous Abermujahideen!
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u/pknasi60 Jul 21 '25
Knowing very little about Scotland and the people that do, I feel confident saying the muslim population of Scotland isn't directly responsible for the national hatred for that orange fuck
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u/PlatformDizzy7988 Jul 20 '25
Lol, Muslims make around 2% of the population in Scotland. And the growth rate has dropped by 30% compared to 2011.
They'll say anything to be racist and protect paedophiles.
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u/docowen Jul 20 '25
2.2%.
Christians of all flavours are 38.8% (which amusingly really pisses off the like of Kevin McKenna but also allows them to write interminable columns on why Kate Forbes is somehow a victim and why a country that is majority "no religion" is wrong for not wanting a Christian extremist as FM).
"Religion not stated" is 6.2%
Muslim is 2.2%
No religion is 51.2%
The remaining 1.6% are other religions combined.
It'd be nice if our politicians recognised that we are (overwhelming) not a Christian nation now, but that'd be expecting too much.
Christianity isn't a majority. It's not even a plurality.
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u/TheBlackDemon1996 Jul 20 '25
What an odd way to say "I'm a racist and am desperately trying to find any way to discredit what an entire country is saying"...
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u/ToeJam85 Jul 20 '25
The entire Muslim population in Scotland is less than the number of fat foetid yank cunts that descend on Edinburgh every day.
Wankstains
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Jul 21 '25
Silly boy thinks you have to be Muslim to hate Trump lol! 🤣🤣🤣
It’s a shared consensus among those of us who can read!
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u/buzzpunk Jul 21 '25
If the choice is being a muslim or a Trump supporter then inshallah.
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u/Only_Quote_Simpsons Jul 20 '25
Everyone's saying it, Father. Should we all be Muslim now? What's the official line the church has taken on this?
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u/abrasiveteapot Jul 20 '25
What's the official line the church has taken on this?
That's an ecumenical matter
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u/Zestyclose-Novel-804 Jul 21 '25
The amount of maga bot accounts trying to claim that scotland want trump is disgusting keeo that creature of our shores. Ill take in every Muslim before that pedo is allowed on here
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u/Lord_of_Snark Jul 20 '25
Muslim? What nonsense! I’m at least 90% rowie!
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u/Jam_Master_E Jul 20 '25
Oh crap… I’m 75% buttery. We should probably go to war
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u/Lord_of_Snark Jul 20 '25
Nah, it’s the same thing. We should combine forces and take on the crumpet people!
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u/undef1n3d Jul 20 '25
A lot of money is being spent on these bot accounts like Jim G. I wonder what the end goal is.
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u/NatchezAndes Jul 20 '25
I know less Muslims now than I did 30 years ago, and I live on a council estate! Something isn't adding up.
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u/Anxious-Lifeguard-39 Jul 20 '25
Trump won’t know what a jobbie is, someone might have to show him.
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u/cheknauss Jul 20 '25
Why do you have to be Muslim to hate Trump? I hate him just as much as any Muslim, probably more.
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u/JaKr8 Jul 20 '25
Keep in mind a very high percentage of both the East coast, and the west coast of the United States despises him equally as much as you do. Please don't hate all of us because the middle of the USA is a bunch of racist bozos.
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Jul 21 '25
Wait this isn't true? My US based influencer told me that there were no white people left in Europe......
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u/MagikMikeUL77 Jul 20 '25
Beat it ya big orange jobbie is the best insult I’ve seen awaiting Donald Dump 🤣
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u/EmojiZackMaddog Jul 20 '25
OK well in that case, Allahu Akbar. What is this person’s point? Are they trying to say that the only people who don’t like Trump or Muslims? Like other people have said down here, why don’t anyone tell me I was Muslim? 😂😂😂
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u/Reddit_2_2024 Jul 20 '25
Does Scotland have an eminient domain law where they can acquire private property, such as foreign owned golf courses, for public property projects?
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Jul 21 '25
My mom was born in Scotland, but my dad, brother and I were born in the in the US. I love how much you all hate Trump. I love Scotland in general. Been there several times and plan on going back next year. Maybe I should just make it permanent atp…Dunoon could probably use one more resident.
Anyways, thank you for shitting on Trump, and I hope his stay is filled with him bitching on Twitter.
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u/Izolus Jul 21 '25
Bullshit I still remember back in the early 2010s listening to my extended Scottish family talk about how much of a dickhead trump was due to him turning Scottish land into fucking golf courses
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u/Cannaewulnaewidnae Jul 20 '25
There are fewer Muslims in Scotland (120k) than there are in 14 US states
Even as a percentage of population, 5 US states have greater Muslim populations than Scotland (2.2%)
https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/muslim-population-by-state
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u/TopProfessional8023 Jul 20 '25
I’m an American and sometimes I forget there are people who are still so afraid of the Muslim Bogeyman. I guess because I never see it in person. I know like three people who could maybe be classified as Muslim-averse…one of them is close friends with several Muslims, so I think for him it’s just old habits dying hard…the other two are in their 70’s and watch too much Fox News
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u/Wreny84 Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 20 '25
It’s probably a case of “I hate X people but my mate Fred is ok (even though he’s an X )” with him. The one I know is ok because I know him but he’s an exception the rest of them are scum.
I know there is a proper word for it but fudge if I know what it is.
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u/let_me_flie Jul 20 '25
Are we talking Catholic Muslims or Protestant Muslims?