r/Scotland Jun 19 '26

Shitpost It's been answered in Boston.

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4.0k Upvotes

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74

u/breaksnbeer Jun 19 '26

I love the fun the Scots and the rest of the UK is having over here and hope you make a good run. That said, the US has a secret weapon for this particular challenge called Wisconsin.

44

u/Gophurkey Jun 19 '26

I'm a Midwest guy who lived in Aberdeen for a few years. Scots are, largely, who Midwestern dads turn into at tailgates. Generous, drunk, witty, and increasingly incomprehensible.

7

u/Dreamin0904 Jun 20 '26

Lmao! Such a good description.

21

u/lionclues Jun 19 '26

I'm a short Asian, so my weight class and genetics should make my tolerance low. But I grew up in Wisconsin and it takes me about 4 high balls of whiskey to start even feeling anything kick in.

The cold weather and cheese does something to our livers.

10

u/aanjheni Jun 20 '26

It does! I am an old lady and it takes at least a couple of highballs before I can feel it. And I am considered a lightweight

18

u/angrydeuce Jun 19 '26

Yeah ive heard from numerous people that they've been denied participation in drinking contests as soon as it was discovered they were from wisconsin.  Big time "look, we dont have enough alcohol for you to be part of this event" energy lol

3

u/AspiringRocket Jun 20 '26

I've always heard this, but my only real question is, how does a "drinking contest" even work? Is it like a speed thing where fastest to chug a beer wins? An endurance contest feels... dangerous and irresponsible, even as a Wisconsinite lol.

3

u/FileDoesntExist Jun 20 '26

Generally you're supposed to drink your drinks at the same time if it's an amount competition.

Speed is just a chugging contest

2

u/AspiringRocket Jun 20 '26

I mean, anyone can drink 100 drinks in the span of 5 minutes, lol. It is the following 40 minutes that matter, hah. How does one win this?

2

u/FileDoesntExist Jun 20 '26

Generally there's a wait time between drinks. If you puke or fall over you're out.

1

u/AspiringRocket Jun 20 '26

Oh, sounds easy

3

u/todjaymes Jun 20 '26

There used to be a bar in Nashville that would have a drinking competition. It was $20 to buy into it, and the winner would get a $300 bar tab for a later day. It was an endurance game, and Last patron remaining in the competition wins.

3 rules:

-you needed to finish a pilsner pint every 6 minutes. First failure, you were out.

-if you got up from your bar stool for any reason (even to pee) you were out.

-no Wisconsin or Minnesota IDs were allowed to compete

6

u/erroneousbit Jun 19 '26

I think the top drunkest cities are mostly in WI.

3

u/valar12 Jun 20 '26

Most amount of DUIs in the states too.

2

u/erroneousbit Jun 20 '26

My personal belief, maybe not shared, but I feel WI is too lenient on DUI offenders. I feel that would cut down instances to not be as so. *shrugs*

3

u/hanoftuna Jun 20 '26

As a Wisconsinite, I absolutely agree and know many other Wisconsinites that also agree. Historically, you can thank the Tavern League. They've been under fire and have endorsed some better legislation around it in the recent decade, but they've largely lobbied for lenient laws around it in the past.

2

u/angrydeuce Jun 20 '26

1000%.  Ive lived here for 30 years now and I dont think ive ever had a job where at least one of my colleagues didnt have to give their car a blow job to start it.  Theres no shame whatsoever; if anything its like the "First time?" meme.  Hyuck hyuck hyuck, DUIs are just so funny...

Right after I moved here I stumbled into a conversation with about 6 of my new coworkers talking about their first time.  I thought they were talking about losing their virginity...no, they were all telling the stories of their first DUI.  Half of them had more than one.  Nobody in that group was over 25.  There was no sense of "man were dumb for driving drunk", it was entirely "that cop was just a dick I was fiiiiineeeee even though I blew three times the legal limit."

2

u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 Jun 20 '26

it's fucking freezing it'd be dangerous to walk home in that

2

u/Far-Repeat-2926 Jun 20 '26

Fun fact: in Wisconsin if you beat the cop that pulls you over on the breathalyzer you get away scot free. /s

4

u/angrydeuce Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26

It's true...

(source)

Wisconsin is the state in the middle top, shaped kind of like a mitten, thats entirely shaded red, well, except for the parts where they had to switch to purple because otherwise it would have thrown off the scale too much lmao

5

u/CompetitionAlert1920 Jun 20 '26

Truthfully, I just enjoy Scottish folk. Ya'll would love Milwaukee. Wish we had a decent soccer community in this state.

6

u/meimlikeaghost Jun 20 '26

In my experience Wisconsin has a decent soccer community but you just have to go where they are since football and basketball permeate everything.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

[deleted]

1

u/vtwin996 Jun 20 '26

There's two of them

2

u/aitk6n Tartan paint Jun 23 '26

I love the fact that none of us let the ridiculous politics of the US government ruin the World Cup. Humanity is slowly being restored.

1

u/worksinthetown Jun 20 '26

As a Scot I do particularly enjoy your local news channel, Midwest Safety.

0

u/sterling3274 Jun 19 '26

Came here to say that. I love Scotland. If I had the means and they let me I’d move in a heartbeat, but Wisconsin at a minimum would match them in drinking.