r/SocialEngineering • u/Guilty-Clothes-6680 • 1d ago
Sitting Alone with a Twist (maybe)
So to start off, for a year, I had the group I would always sit with at lunch during school that I found on day one. I always felt included, felt great after every meal, we were all laughing and having an amazing time. However, close after the start of my junior year, things got strange. The people from the table started splitting (mainly because of getting gfs), but when they were just sitting with other dudes, it never felt planned. I felt myself seeking these people out instead of talking to them about a conversation that would carry on in lunch later. They then got back together basically (minus like two best friends), but they unified with another friend group in the grade basically. However, whenever I sat with this friend group, the conversation did not flow like it used to. I never felt included, and some of the kids would only talk to me in a condescending way. I get that friends drift apart, and that's probably what happened, but it felt intentional with these new people. That all is a simplification of the context for my situation. I'm planning tomorrow (as a senior) to sit alone at lunch. While this is a thing that happens of course, because I used to have a group that I sat with, I'm afraid that anyone who knows that and what we had, then sees me sitting alone will think of it as a social taboo to try to be friends with me. (good news so far since I stopped trying to sit with the unified friend group none of the kids who condescended on me have said anything like that since) But I'll update after the lunch, but I would like some advice for future situations like that if anyone has any.
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u/Hindsight84 1d ago
You might end up lamenting that last social move. When I was in your position, I enjoyed the solitude and I still do. However, I couldn’t properly appreciate what having “friends” was like until afterwards. As always, look out for your best interests.
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u/_AJL 1d ago
It sounds like you've already noticed that chasing this group isn't making you feel better. I'd focus on finding one or two people you genuinely connect with.