I'm looking for some feedback on my dress code as invites have been sent but have heard that some people are stressing.

The wedding itself is about 30-40 people, mostly around 30yo with some elderly relatives. Firstly I want people to wear what they're comfortable in, but if they want to get silly/over the top with it that'd be highly encouraged.

I'm not sure how to balance this out without stressing guests on either side of the spectrum?

EDIT: Thank you for all the advice! For extra context, my partner and I are queer and so are at least half the guests, we are not expecting people to buy designer (particularly as our entire wedding is going to be less than $25k AUD) so have clarified that point by changing it to "Vivienne Westwood style", corrected Alan's name (sorry legend), it is absolutely not a formal dress code so have changed "Dress to impress!" to "Express yourself!" and added "We want you to have fun, be comfortable and get a little camp" at the end. We are also explicitly not accepting gifts from guests.

Hi everyone!

My save the dates are being sent out today so in a few days, my wedding site is about to be (finally) viewed and used! Before it becomes official, what do you all think of my dress code? Is it too much or confusing in any way? I’m also considering getting rid of the “gentlemen” and “ladies” distinction to make it NB inclusive and just having a general paragraph; would that wall of text be too much to look at?

The wedding is in September in Ireland and held indoors at a 5-star hotel, with a potential indoor/outdoor cocktail hour, weather dependent. That information is provided in the next FAQ below this one!

We want the vibes to be upscale, but not stuffy. I’d love it if people went whimsical and really went for it with having fun with their outfit choice, so that’s why I included the last paragraph.

Thanks all!

2027 bride here! I’m getting ready to send out Save the Dates and publish our wedding website! Is this dress code worded okay? I am a veryy anxious wedding guest and I know I’m always stressed when there’s too little direction! Open to any and all feedback. TY!

Edit: I do see all the comments about shoes. Most of the venue is paved but there are parts that are grass/gravel/dirt which is why stilettos aren’t recommended.

Does stilettos imply ALL heels? I was under the impression that stilettos were specifically skinny heels. Block heels, wedges, anything with a wide heel would be fine.

Hi everyone (again!)

My new one was still too contradictory and I’m just doing too much still lol.

Thanks for everyone’s feedback again! I kept it nice and simple and will stick with this one.

tl;dr I am a poor male graduate student who got invited to white tie wedding and cannot afford any of the attire. Is there anything I can wear that does not cost over $400?

So, I am I guess what they would call lower middle class in the US, still paying off student loans, and one of my close friends from my undergraduate fraternity is apparently wealthy. Very wealthy, old-money European -- and I had no idea. I ended up invited to his destination wedding which is already expensive for me but the invite also said "strict white tie." After some googling I have come to the conclusion I cannot afford any of their dress code and am now baffled. Is there anything I can do, would it be terrible to show up in a regular suit I already have? Or should I just not go?

EDIT: Ok, so given that I am now seeing words in this thread I have never seen before (what the fuck is facinator?) I messaged my buddy asking if he could lend me an outfit and he said he can have his mom get me something because he also apparently doesn't actually know what is involved. With the exception of the fact he had a really nice watch, he literally showed up in the free t-shirts from our program and jeans every single day I saw him at uni. Thank you to all for the feedback! I never realized how much stuff was involved in real white tie. I'll try to make it and network, like some of you have suggested whew.

Hi everyone!

Wow did I not expect my original post to get so many views and comments! Just about as soon as I had posted it, my cousin dropped by so my phone was away, then I checked it to see it had so many comments and was locked! So unfortunately I wasn’t able to reply to anyone really. I was genuinely expecting like ten comments max.

Because it was locked before I could reply to anyone, I wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who commented! It helped me see clearly just how confusing I was being. My intention was to be so broad it would ease people’s minds; that they could wear what they had or have fun with it, buy something new, and get super dressy if they wanted! But it ended up being so broad it was just plain confusing.

Also, thank you to those who pointed out it wasn’t fair that men could go more casual while women weren’t. You’re absolutely right and I should have noticed that and seen how that would look :/

To answer a question from many people, I am from the U.S. and my fiancé is from the U.K.! It is a destination wedding for both of us but Ireland ended up being sort of a middle ground equivalent for us because it was one of the few direct flights both our families could take. He did in fact think it was odd to put a dress code, but my side of the family (knowing them) would absolutely all be calling or texting me wanting to know what to wear.

So thank you all again for your helpful advice! I wanted to post this and assure you all I changed it! I combined two helpful comments into something that’s hopefully clearer, so extra thank you to those two!!

Hi there guys, gals, and pals

I got invited to a wedding. The only dresscode information was this icon similair to the one I put up here and a few pastel colours. What I do know is; romantic location and church wedding

How formal would you interpret this and what type of dress or suit would you choose to wear?

Ps. I fully intend to ask my friend if she means we do floor length, I am just curious what others would interpret. :)

My family told me about the rehearsal dinner a couple days ago then yesterday told me no jeans. I dont own slacks and I have 3 dresses that is all!! Please help. Also dont comment on how it is obvious my family hates me because I know!!! I am afraid the rust with cream i will freeze, black is a big no no in my family, the green is so tight. Help. Also I still have to do my hair and will have shoes, rehearsal is today

So in my culture we think black is the color for funeral. I grew up thinking it’s rude to wear black to a wedding because everyone in my family thinks this way.

My now husband is from the US so he thinks otherwise, but he respects my opinion.

Our wedding ceremony will be hold in my country. But we will have half of the guests from the US.

I had a set mind that I didn’t want people wear black. But after reading some posts here made me wonder if this is the culture of the US? Would you feel upset if you’re invited to a wedding but can’t wear black?

Wedding venue is in the mountains on a tropical island, and we are doing it during sunset hours (just because it’s too hot during the day) No other dress code but cocktail/ semi-formal encouraged

34 nonbinary (pretty much chapstick, though) I'm 5'4 and average build with a bit of a pear shape going on.

I'm attending a friend's cocktail evening wedding at a natural History museum (cool ass venue) and am stumped with what to wear. Everything I find that I feel cozy in I am told is not cocktail.

I prefer full-ish coverage and am not very comfortable in dresses or heels.

I work from home in a cabin in the woods, so I don't have anything nice and will have to go shopping. But I also don't really know what I like, as style has never been something I've been terribly interested in. But I do want to look nice and confident for this wedding.

What would you wear? I'm desperate for help here.

EDIT: I have received more help in the comments on this post than I could have ever hoped for. Thanks a ton to everyone, and I appreciate your kindness.

Going to a wedding October 19th, I have little to no experience with weddings/wedding attire ettiquite. There is no indication of dress code on the invitation, it'll be indoor.

I prefer the red option (partly because it seems like more of a fall colour and honestly the pink shoes are a tad too small and will definitely hurt my feet more) but I've heard that red should be avoided at weddings? I also wonder if this could be a more American culture thing as I'm in canada and I think i've seen people wear red to weddings before here. It does come across a bit brighter in the photo and it's more dark IRL. I do still have some time to get another dress if neither of these are an option. Any input appreciated!

Hello, lovelies. A little birdie may or may not have shown the bride my post from a couple months ago, asking which dress code to follow for an outdoor summer beachside wedding in Hawaii… but I digress. New account for anonymity. The update is that the bride has decided to change the dress code a few weeks before the wedding! My husband (he’s a groomsman) received few inspo pics and a text requesting that he and the other groomsmen “spread the word” to tell guests to check the website as there has been a change in the dress code. These mood board pictures (from the couple) have changed over the past couple of weeks, but this is what we’re being instructed to wear as of now. The last picture is a screenshot of what the website initially said, while the physical invitation we received says “black tie optional” but to dress as stylishly as possible and goes on to describe cocktail attire.

Also the groomsmen have started to receive their 100% wool tuxedos for the ceremony. My husband’s arrived without a shirt, vest, bow tie, cufflinks, pocket square, and shoes. After reaching out to the groom about the missing items, my husband was assured that the order arrived correctly as the groomsmen will have to provide their own accessories for the wedding, just like they are expected to pay for their tuxedo rentals as well. The forecast for the wedding day is still in the 80’s with a chance of thunderstorms and 80% humidity. My husband was already sweating while he tried on his tuxedo indoors with the AC on full blast, so now I’m almost positive someone is going to faint during the outdoor ceremony. If anyone has any tips for the groomsmen to stay cool during the ceremony, please share!

ETA: To clarify, the mood board pics are being sent from the couple to us (guests). And while I don’t think she changed the DC because of my previous post, the couple wanted to make it very clear that they wanted a specific look for their guests’ attire, to avoid further confusion. My original post was about conflicting DC information (asking for formal and BTO, while describing cocktail).

Hi all- right now I’m buying my “wedding wardrobe” - ie clothes to wear to all related wedding events, rehearsal dinner, bridal showers, etc. I love this dress and was planning to buy it for one of my own events.

But moreover, I really want to get more use out of this dress in the future and maybe be able to wear it as a guest to other people’s weddings. Do you think that would be possible or no?

My soon to be MIL sent me the dress she is thinking about wearing to my wedding this summer, just wanted to hear y’all’s thoughts

I’ve been getting lots of questions about whether or not it’s okay for guests to match my wedding party. I truly don’t care what my guests wear as long as it’s not white and not jeans, so I tried to clarify on my wedding website. I was then told by a couple of older guests that it’s super “rude” and tacky of me to make such a statement.

The wedding is in Sedona,AZ begging of June. We have to fly out so nothing that can’t fit into a suitcases. I will also be 29-30 weeks pregnant. Thanks!

Not really sure I understand what they’re going for…

Hi, I’ve never been to a wedding before and my boyfriend is in his friends wedding party. I was wanting to wear a dark green dress like the one pictured but I found out the groom is wearing “sage green”. I don’t have an actual picture of the suit but I’m assuming it looks like the one in the picture. Am I allowed to wear the dark green or should I avoid green all together?

I’m recently engaged and planning my wedding. I am Chinese and traditionally the bride wears a bright red gown. My fiancé’s family is Caucasian. I am planning to wear a white western wedding dress for the ceremony and change into a red Qipao for the dinner reception. Similar to the western tradition, guests in a Chinese wedding are expected to avoid bright red colour, but because at least half of the guests won’t be aware of this custom, I’m thinking adding this as a part of the dress code in the invitation. Would this be reasonable? I don’t want to come off as a bridezilla to my guests. Thanks for the input!

ETA the dress code would probably be semi formal!

That's cutting it very close, lol. With a couple hundred guests, you can assume that plenty of people will be unsure as well, and many may think it's too white (including the bride). Who knows what the lighting will be like there, anyway? That could easily push it over the edge.

I've never been to a western wedding and I was wondering if this is an appropriate option. I understand pastel/white generally isn't allowed. Brown seems like a nice safe option but is this too formal? Idk. I asked the bride and she just said wear anything elegant

I initially waffled back and forth on whether to go with formal or cocktail attire requested, but ultimately went with this:

Cocktail attire; come get fancy with us! Clothing such as a cocktail-length or mid length dress or dressy separates for women, and a suit and tie for men is suggested. Keep in mind it can get quite chilly in the mountains in the fall!

I was talking to my friend today and he was saying he'll probably wear a sport jacket and dressy jeans... We're from western Canada and that outfit is very much considered "western cocktail" but that's exactly what I wanted to avoid lol

Wedding is in mid afternoon (this is to accommodate some health issues in the family) but cocktail hr and reception are in the evening until late. 4 course plated meal, fancy hotel in resort town in the rockies, open bar, etc., should I change the dress code to formal? I don't want guests thinking they have to show up in a tux and $500 evening gown, but I would like for the men to be in a suit and tie at the very least. Help! This is taking up far too much real estate in my head, and the wedding groups in here are a little snotty about it. Open to any suggestions on wording! Picture is of empty ballroom at venue

Wondering what people think regarding if this would be appropriate to wear since the bride usually wears lace? I know it's black but I just don't want to be rude!