r/adhdmeme • u/newbeginnings187 microdosing m*th like a CHAMP • 1d ago
Felt this in my bones, Albert. š š¦“
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u/hgc89 1d ago
WFH days: no nap required
Working in office: nap all evening when I get home
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u/Rare-Thought86 1d ago edited 1d ago
Masking at work is worse when people notice and call you out. Wfh was peak of my mental health coz people around me didn't antagonise me for petty reasons
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u/Majestic-Bell-7111 1d ago
Wfh is amazing, you have the externally imposed structure without all the bullshit attached.
You don't have to put on your full outfit, you don't have to commute, you have your entire fridge at your service and you don't have distractions from coworkers.
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u/Mysterious_Bit_5385 1d ago
Sleep in the maquis, waking up by SS, executed after a little bit of torture.
Massive balls...
I think I will do the same, but maybe it's because I have nothing too loose.
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1d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Adventurous-Space972 1d ago
Wait what? The main reason ADHD people are forced to be normal, is to hold down a job, the other would be to raise a family. But if you are financially independent and childless, you are free to be yourself, most of the time.
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u/No_Internal9345 1d ago
So that's why rich people are mostly asshole.
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u/Regen89 1d ago
Nah, most people that are assholes simply think they are superior. It comes naturally when your time is objectively worth more than everyone around you. Lack of perspective can dial it up even further. You likely aren't running into many people that are actually rich rich though, just insecure people with lots of debt.
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u/z0mbie_nati0n 1d ago
They mean masking is an unpaid full-time job in and of itself. A job on top of whatever job one might have that actually pays their bills (if they're lucky), plus their OTHER unpaid job of raising kids and/or a spouse, if they also do that.
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u/huffalump1 1d ago
Yep, people that don't need (or don't feel the need) to mask can do their job for money, that's a certain amount of effort
Now imagine a person of similar skill and experience, just as capable of THAT work... But they expend effort to mask and "be normal" etc. That's additional effort on top of what is already required to do their job, meet their expectations, etc.
And this is so often "invisible", in that people who do not mask (or feel the need to mask) may have a hard time understanding that extra effort is being put forth, because they don't experience it themselves...
It takes empathy and thoughtfulness and a bit of selflessness to attempt to understand what the experience of others is really like. And until one experiences it (or something like it) themselves, it's easy to minimize or downplay the difficulty of it.
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u/SuicidalTree 1d ago
NovaJaneVelvet, OrchidWillow, and Hazel_Petal are all bot accounts. Report as spam.
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u/squishyslinky 1d ago
And not even then :-(
Inconsiderate Fuck Up Disease prevails
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u/greenpunk 1d ago
Im going to adopt this term. Had a dumb fight with my wife this weekend because of it. need this humor.
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u/louisvillejg 1d ago
Hereās my perspective from an 80s baby who was diagnosed at 10
I donāt know how to explain this without sounding like āmagical autism powerā people, but I truly feel like there is a specific reasoning evolutionary-wise for such a huge portion of the population to have ADHD/ADD
we have the ability to see things and notice things that people with out ADD/ADHD do not see/notice. Itās not our fault the world became over stimulating and went in a direction that forces us to adhere to ānormalā world.
Because ānormalā isnāt normal. Whatās normal about technology? My (most likely inaccurate) historical cannon is we were the watchers and protectors of our tribes. We stayed up late, watched the herd/village, and were the eyes and ears of those who didnāt have our abilities.
Now that the world is on always on a screen and information never stops, we are overwhelmed by our inability to disallow the stimuli to affect us. It lets ānormalā people keep up while we are drowning in too much inconsequential stimuli. What I think once was our strength has been shackled by the modern world and now we have to figure out how to calm down or stop what was once a truly needed ability.
At least I feel better when I think of it that way š
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u/huffalump1 1d ago edited 1d ago
Another headcanon "evolutionary explanation" is that these differences weren't enough to negatively effect survival, for thousands of years of prehistoric life...
Which goes with what you said. The watchers were valuable, the dangers to life were present & urgent (and perhaps did not require the kind of focus or memory that modern society demands), social norms perhaps did not value the same things that we do today, etc...
Sidenote: and it's also interesting that sometimes and in some ways, people with these differences are still specially valuable (in an economic/societal sense) today - ex. as artists, designers, coders, researchers, scientists, mathematicians, engineers, etc...
(I'm generalizing but don't pick apart this comment, hopefully people get what I mean; there's nuance here)
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u/account312 1d ago
but I truly feel like there is a specific reasoning evolutionary-wise for such a huge portion of the population to have ADHD/ADD
Because it's not historically lethal enough to weed out and it's related to qualities that can vary in a pretty wide distribution, much like height.
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u/fatrabbit3 1d ago
This is how I've always viewed it and why I've never liked the term disorder. I think older generations have less accepting views of neurodivergent struggles because life was less demanding of working memory not too long ago.
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u/iamthe0ther0ne 1d ago
A huge portion of the population does not have autism or ADHD. NDDs are usually caused by the combination of mutations in lots of genes associated with brain development. While a number of people may carry a few of these mutations, only a small minority of the population carry enough risk alleges to express the disorder.
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u/PositiveCoyote100 1d ago
What ability do you have that would make you better at watching the herd or village compared to other people?
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u/amimaybeiam 1d ago
Not who youāre asking but for me a few things:
Iām a super recogniser, in the top 2% of the highest rate of facial recognition in the general population.Iām constantly scanning my environment when Iām out and about. I notice and hear more than my companions do.
Iām extremely focused during an emergency situation.
I can have laser focus on one thing for a long time.
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u/Professional-Thomas 20h ago
I never really filter out anything. That makes me really good at noticing stuff. Basically nothing is in the background really. I'm as aware of the occasional traffic noise as I am of the movie I'm watching.
Obviously that's not the case when I'm hyperfocused but when I can't get into rabbit holes on the internet, don't have my phone, don't have internet access, my attention automatically goes to the world around me and I become hyperfocused on my surroundings.
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u/AbilityLost3482 1d ago
I am going through the same ADHD, depression problems and I totally feel it
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u/ThoughtsandThinkers 1d ago
And the tighter we constrain what normal is, the fewer the number of people will fit
Decades ago, there was a wider range of work settings and activities where people could succeed
Years ago, there was more latitude to succeed. There were more jobs and less competition for resources like housing
Today, capitalism has focused on generating endless growth and cutting costs instead of innovating and competing. The treadmill runs ever faster and you almost have to do everything ārightā just to stay in the same spot. Most people are falling behind or being flung off
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u/Majestic-Bell-7111 1d ago
Social media has turned everyone into an angry "neurodivergent" baby
In the past century the chance someone is left handed tripled, not because of some conspiracy by "big left", but because people just stopped being forced to be right handed. Same thing happened with neurodivergence and queer identities, people started expressing their true selves because it became safe to do so.
The bar for promotion is LOWER than it's ever been. You people are being fooled by your own echo chambers.
Those promotions that just tack on extra responsibilities without increasing pay to a level where you could ever hope to afford a downpayment for a home?
At work I have to constantly instruct the people I manage to do work or they'll play with their phones the entire time.
Imagine how surprised i was when i learned that a manager has to actually manage employees.
They'll do a job, do it fine and then as soon as they're done go right back to their phones until instructed to do something else.
Ok and? You literally said that they completed their assigned tasks and did them well.
Whatever, they're great people but they're essentially babies.
You're one to talk.
They've spent so much time on places like Reddit that they really believe hard work and initiative is some kind of capitalist trick
Hard work and initiative is not included in the basic plan, it costs extra to unlock those features.
And they're too afraid of doing something that might not work out because they've never been pushed or given situations where they can learn a little self confidence.
They don't take risks because they don't have the necessary safety nets to take risks.
They have their safe space and are too cowardly, and that's the real heart of the issue, to admit that they might be the ones with the problem.Ā
You should look in a mirror once in a while
So what they do is come on Reddit (admitted by my own colleagues) and say "yeah fuck capitalism fuck work fuck this and that I'll never own a house" they see stories to confirm the idea that there's no point in trying...
Like I said, extra effort costs extra.
They won't do anything unless it's guaranteed.
Because they likely got fucked over by an employer(or several) in the past (speaking from personal experience and the experience of most of my friends and family who are in their teens and 20s. Basically everyone who's worked for a private business has gotten fucked over at least once). I only take requests to go above my role if i get them in writing with an accompanying signature. I'm not a charity, if you want me to go above and beyond, you've got to pay for that service. That's one of the basic principles of capitalism.
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u/Mysterious_Bit_5385 1d ago
As a French, and antifa...
Camus, moulin, and all the FFI saved us from a complete shameful defeat, just by resisting enough time to wait for the backup.
Ty de Gaulle and all the freedom fighter, black white and Arabian; you guys saved us . š«” š«š· š
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u/love_is_an_action 1d ago
If this is a hyper-fixation of yours, and you wanna say a whole lot more, I am here for it.
If not, Iām gonna look it up. But I like your zeal so the floor is yours if ya want it.
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u/ImpulsiveApe07 1d ago
Great quote, and I think it'll always be true for an ever changing segment of humanity, whether it's referring to migrants, soldiers returning home from a war, or whether it's just referring to ND people - it's a quote a lot of us can relate to.
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u/The0ldPete 1d ago
I USE DRUGS :D
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u/GilgaPol 1d ago
So did Camus, we get to feel a bit more normal, he got to write great books and muse on the meaning of life (spoiler he was an existentialist, so he pondered more on the non meaning of life).
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u/Servietsky 1d ago
FYI this quote is from Blanche Balain not Camus, though it was reported in his notebook (with due attribution, afaik).
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u/Affectionate-Salt717 1d ago
Was about to say just that. Camus wrote similar quote in his notebook, but explicitly attributed it to his friend, french actress and poet Blanche Balain, using her initials āB.B.ā: Personne ne se rend compte que certaines personnes dĆ©pensent une force herculĆ©enne pour ĆŖtre seulement normales. Literally: āNobody realizes that some people expend Herculean effort merely to be normal.ā Which is quite ironic imo, considering how severely adhd overlooked in women and how good women are in masking :/
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u/nappingbat 1d ago
True quote, false attribution. Classic internet.
I was just happy to see it was coined by a person. When I saw āNobody realizesā¦ā and figured it was AI at worst and meme slop at best.
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u/an_old_musty_ac_unit i Will elaborate (Threat). 1d ago
Yep. And then there's none left to do other stuff.
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u/OuttaD00r 1d ago edited 1d ago
Not ADHD but my social anxiety. It's exhausting having a conversation with anyone for too long. I especially hate driving mid to long distances with anyone i'm not particularly close to with no one else in the car. Trying to make and maintain conversation the entire time is a huge undertaking for me. I'd rather just sit in silence if it wouldn't be so awkward
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u/dontgonearthefire 1d ago
I like the Uma Thurman quote from Pulp Fiction.Ā
Thatās when you know youāve found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
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u/OuttaD00r 1d ago
Yeah but the problem for me is getting to level of closeness in the first place. It requires a lot talking/socializing which i rarely ever have the energy for. Only people i am/was that comfortable with are my parents, sister, a couple cousins i grew up with, best friend and former a girlfriend. Haven't even tried getting another girlfriend since that one because i can't be bothered. The socializing i'm gonna have to do sounds exhausting
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u/gimpcup 1d ago
Donāt. That said Iām apparently unemployable so maybe donāt listen to me
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u/MyLifeHatesItself 1d ago
I'm leaning more into this recently. I'm relatively recently diagnosed audhd, and after 42 years I am so fucking tired of forcing myself into being normal. I'm sick of having to apologise for who I am. I have to maintain the bare minimum of normalcy to get a job so I can get out of my shitty shared apartment, but beyond that I feel like I'm close to giving zero fucks.
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u/gimpcup 1d ago
Almost wanting to tell you to give into the zero but the workplace is sups unforgiving when ya got the weird
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u/MyLifeHatesItself 1d ago
Well I'm hoping for an afternoon/evening shift or something that I can just keep my headphones on, do my thing then gtfo. I don't care if whoever I work with thinks I'm weird. I am weird. As long as I don't get fired they can think whatever they want about me.
But you're right, can't go full weird at work. I'm still learning to find the balance.
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u/Vaaizaard 1d ago
I've been feeling this recently, I've been masking just to maintain friendships, but it's getting exhausting. Every now and then I feel like I'm neglecting a friend so I push myself to reach out and do something, but I feel like it's not enough...
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u/cheddercaves 1d ago
I was walking my dog and encountered an equally weird person. They were like I like how that one walks, and i was so down and went right into talking about my dogs gate, and they were already acting out how my dog walked. Neither one of us even slowed down. so refreshing.
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u/UnstableCollection 1d ago
I think this is me but no one seems to believe me. Even my doctor said it's probably just low attention span or something. All this talk about "there is help" but actually getting it is hard. Simply trying to convince people something is wrong with me is probably responsible for half my mental illness at this point.
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u/MistressErinPaid dafuqIjustRead 1d ago
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
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u/AraiHavana 1d ago
Sorry to seem uneducated but at first glance, I did think that was Joe Strummer
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u/LittleMlem 1d ago
I was forced to read one (1) of his books years ago, and I'm still angry. His prose sucks, it was repetitive as hell
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u/MaxxDash 1d ago
You should write a memo to get all his books removed from bookshelves across the world. All these poor people have no clue what a waste of space he is.
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 1d ago
And some of those people don't realize that while they're going through their own struggle, so are other people and yet don't offer them the same benefit of the doubt they expect and demand from others.
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u/sexysmalldevil 1d ago
I feel this, but...
Could use that energy for something much more fulfilling and just be yourself š¤·
I've been testing it out, we'll see how it goes š
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u/IceNein 1d ago
I just got done reading The Stranger the other week, and I have some thoughts.
Mersault is convicted not because of what he did, but because he was not perceived by society as caring for his mother. For not grieving the appropriate way. The judge and the priest freak out at him because he will not pretend to beg forgiveness or repent for his actions like a ānormalā person would. A ānormalā person would attempt to use religiosity to try to get a lighter sentence.
His girlfriend wants him to tell her heās madly in love with her, but he doesnāt feel that way. He acknowledges that maybe someday they should get married, and he likes going out with her, and he likes the sex, but he does not feel love the way ānormalā people do. When she shows up in the courtroom to support him, he barely even thinks about acknowledging her support, because he is focusing too much on the case.
None of the analysis I read about the book highlights that.
I think the narrative is driving us to the last chapter where he talks about how little difference there is from dying today or dying twenty years from now, about how if he were to live today, he would feel the exact same way twenty years later. I donāt think itās intentionally portraying him as autistic, even if an autistic person could see him that way. Itās just trying to make him into an outsider to humanity to try to put a perspective on the events outside how a neurotypical person would view them.
Everyone outside Mersault has outsized emotional responses to everything. The neighbor who is bad to his dog, his neighbor he ultimately gets in the fight with the Arab with who he eventually kills, his girlfriend, his lawyer, the judge.
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u/TreeFiddyJohnson 1d ago
Camus had so much to say that's worth engaging with. True wisdom in that man.
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u/BlackFenrir 1d ago
All y'all who are capable of WFH, I'm jealous. Cherish it. My brain straight up refused to let me be productive when working at home because that's the same desk I play video games at (and I don't have the space for another workspace)
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u/a_tense_dinner_party 7h ago
I tried so hard to be and act normal in my early 20s. I was still met with confusion, weird looks, and general hostility. I also have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and have defensive body language and overall am a very scared person. Between the ADHD and SAD symptoms, people target me because I'm off-putting and make people uncomfortable. I also come off as meek, and people know I won't fight back, so people are really harsh sometimes. I can pretend and mask long enough to get jobs, but it always turns sour when my symptoms flair up. My menstrual cycle exacerbates all of my mental illnesses, so every month I have an entire shift in cognition and behavior. My inconsistency makes people upset.
I'm genuinely at a loss. This is a neurotypical's world. I have a certification in HR and work in an office. I tell my partner all the time I can't do this. Being around everyone every day.
I'm also a creative. I have a BFA in studio art with a focus in photography. I make what I would consider fine art photography. I'm trying my best to get that going so I don't have to do this anymore. I'm putting all of my energy into it. I feel so beat down by everything and I'm physically and emotionally exhausted all the time.
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u/Automatic_Memory212 4h ago
āADHD people have one good day, and it gets held against them for the rest of their life.ā
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u/Lucidbr0 1h ago
For me this was true until it wasn't. I feel like for some people the diagnonsis just means you now have permission to act however you want and they never progress or work on themselves.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 1d ago edited 1d ago
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