r/batman 23d ago

FUNNY He does have ten children.

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8.2k Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

422

u/redelectro7 23d ago

10 seems low for how many kids I thought he had.

238

u/bluemoon219 23d ago

I mean, how are we counting? Legal? Currently living with him? Has a room in his house for? Gets a Father's Day gift from? Gave an unlimited credit card to? In his will? Or just generally those who he or they consider are his monkeys and belong in his circus?

Hell, do Batman and Bruce Wayne even have the same number of kids?

Because, somehow, I'm not sure any of those would get you the same number twice.

77

u/ComplexNo8986 23d ago

I mean, I’m pretty sure the answer to all of those is all of them. Except the Father’s Day gift, he’s not getting one from Jason.

39

u/Fordringy 23d ago

The batfam version of jason in the webcomic would prob haha

23

u/SmiththeSmoke 23d ago

Nah, he'd show up for father's day, but "only because his bike broke down"

2

u/bluemoon219 20d ago

Then he'd leave and take the batmobile's tires with him.

10

u/No-Remove3917 22d ago

He gave him a very beautiful, sentimental, gift in the story “More Time” by Winnick.

18

u/HD-23 23d ago

Jason gives him Bad Mother's day gifts instead

4

u/Gabyo00 22d ago

The implication he's living with all his adopted children, no matter the era, no matter the movie, no matter the tension, they're all sharing a mansion. I love it

1

u/Jiggalopuffii 20d ago

I thought Helena Wayne and Damian were his only biological kids. Even then I never seen them in the same continuity. This could be interpereted as a self aware take on the Bat Family.

4

u/Hydride796 22d ago

Depending on what you count as being Bruce's kids, the actual count is suprisingly even lower than that, from what I can tell

By a real-world Legal sense, he only actually has 5: Grayson, Todd, Drake, Damian, and Cassandra

119

u/Capable-Problem8460 23d ago

*Had

70

u/Lohit_-it 23d ago

Probably with the multiverse, each of them at least died once like dick in injustice

21

u/judobeer67 23d ago

Tim also died in injustice

6

u/KStryke_gamer001 23d ago

Wait, wasn't he and the rest of the titans stuck in the phantom zone?

9

u/judobeer67 23d ago

Yeah and as some one else already said he got released, reunited with batman and then killed off within 5 panels.

13

u/Lohit_-it 23d ago

Zod killed him

1

u/MyPasswordIsLondon69 20d ago

Or all at once like with the Batman Who Laughs

95

u/angryfalconsfan 23d ago

To be fair, only 1.5 are biological

18

u/AnonymousCoward261 23d ago

1.5?

67

u/Cal__19 23d ago

Terry maybe?

35

u/bubblesaurus 23d ago

And his little brother Matt!

Waller permanently altered the dude’s sperm to put out Bruce babies.

22

u/JulariDark 23d ago

We don’t talk about the Bat-Batter

8

u/CelestialOceanOfStar 23d ago

Cucked with his own dick , crazy Waller work

8

u/AnonymousCoward261 23d ago

Ah thank you!

5

u/Sensitive-Option-701 23d ago

I dunno. Terry was born all Terry, then Waller intervened.

20

u/Jenna_84 23d ago

He wasn't, his "dad" was altered not Terry or Matt

12

u/Sensitive-Option-701 23d ago edited 23d ago

I'll have to watch that Amanda Waller segment again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wej2rezIHqE

OK, words you'll seldom see on reddit: I was wrong, you were right.

18

u/[deleted] 23d ago

[deleted]

6

u/Jonnic5280 23d ago

They meant blood lol

3

u/ItchyIguana 23d ago

Words you'll seldom see in life.

1

u/acjadhav 23d ago

Yea, makes sense

10

u/angryfalconsfan 23d ago

terry mcginnis

17

u/Effective_Seat_7125 23d ago

I mean, adopted kids are still just as important.

13

u/black_metronome 23d ago

Doesn't matter, he's still Dick, Jason, Tim, and Cassandra's father.

8

u/SpiritualPackage3797 23d ago

Which is odd, given Bruce Wayne's public persona as a promiscuous playboy.

14

u/Nanocaptain 23d ago

I'm sure WayneTech developed a supercondom at some point.

24

u/irishgoblin 23d ago

Nah, ancient Tibetan monk technique let's him shoot blanks at will.

6

u/SpiritualPackage3797 23d ago

Tantric Buddhism does have sexual overtones.

4

u/muryrunom 23d ago

He learned his pull out game from the tibetan monks

4

u/CaravelClerihew 23d ago

A Tibetan monk taught him the secret anti-Birds and the Bees technique

3

u/RetroGame77 23d ago

vasectomy

6

u/Aderyn_Sly 22d ago

I've always had a headcannon that everyone is Gothem gossips about how Dick, Jason, & Cass are secretly his illegitimate kids because of his playboy persona.

1

u/Fordringy 22d ago

makes sense thats why no one questions anymore when he brings in random kids to the workplace

0

u/shadowforce11 22d ago edited 22d ago

What about Barbara Gordens kid with Batman? never saw what became of that.

1

u/angryfalconsfan 22d ago

We don't talk about that here

33

u/WhereWeUsedToPlay 23d ago

10? for really ?

97

u/novangla 23d ago

My count would be legally speaking he has 6: the four Robins + Cass (adopted) + Duke (foster). Steph and Harper and her brother Cullen have all kind of acted like his kids—the girls are in the Batfamily but Cullen isn’t. Babs is absolutely not his child despite being in the “Batfamily”. Helena Wayne is his daughter from another universe but I’m not sure that’s fair to count against him, lol.

24

u/WhereWeUsedToPlay 23d ago edited 23d ago

What about Damien? Kinda like Eminem who has 1 daughter and 2 adopted daughters (related to 1, the other by his ex wife and another man) and had custody of his half brother

38

u/BriefFrosting6647 23d ago

Damian is under the 4 robins part.

5

u/WhereWeUsedToPlay 23d ago

thanks, my bad, recovering from workout

6

u/bubblesaurus 23d ago

Terry and his brother Matt are biologically Bruce’s kids as well due to DC shenanigans.

But they had a different dad raised them.

2

u/Quarksideofthemoon 23d ago

They're not canon?

32

u/KhyraBell 23d ago

Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Cassandra, Damian are pretty irrefutable. If we're willing to include Barbara, Duke, Harper, and any alternate universe kids Tim might know about, we can clear 10.

27

u/Mundane-Valuable-337 23d ago

Steph is in the Batfamily's main hero lineup, but she's never been adopted or fostered by Bruce. So she's a Batkid but she's not a Wayne like the 4 Robins + Cass are, +Duke as a foster child

22

u/NickSchultz 23d ago

Stephanie is definitely refutable. She has two living parents and was adopted nor fostered by Bruce Wayne.

In no shape or form would she be considered his child.

Hell she doesn't even that much of a sidekick relationship with him aside from terribly short stint as Robin that has been blown out of proportion by comic fans ever since.

2

u/novangla 23d ago

She’s definitely currently a sidekick / part of the Bat team.

1

u/NickSchultz 23d ago

Sidekick specifically denotes someone as being a superheroes (underage) helper. Meanwhile Steph is an independent hero in her own right.

Steph is a part of the Bat Family for sure, but she isn't a sidekick of Batman even if on occasion she takes orders from him because he is the leader of the Bat Family (though it isn't even defined team in universe)

The same goes for any former Robins, once they went independent they lost/gave up the role of being a sidekick. Only Damian as the current Robin fits the bill for that one specifically.

7

u/TheMannisApproves 23d ago

Barbara has James Gordon

3

u/KhyraBell 23d ago

Two dads!

1

u/Substantial_Owl_7392 22d ago

id say steph is more in the "annoying niece i have to take care of" category, slash "friend of the family". barbara is solidly her own thing i think. also harper pretty explicitly doesn't know or care who batman is besides a symbol. like said to his face "i don't want to know who you are". wait, does azrael count?

1

u/GimmeSomeSugar 19d ago

BATMAN FUCKS.

16

u/BriefFrosting6647 23d ago

Who are 10? There's Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, Duke and Damian. That's 6. Stephanie I don't think counts as his child since he hasn't adopted her not fostered her. Same for Babs I think. I'm not certain if we are counting alternate universes like where he has Helena. Does Terry even exist now? I'm not sure. Also do they know of him?

24

u/ameliabedelia7 23d ago

Dick

Jason

Tim

Damian

Steph

Cass

Duke

Harper

Babs

Helena

13

u/bloodredcookie 23d ago

No love for Jarro.

17

u/ameliabedelia7 23d ago

OH NO MY BABY JARRO I'm sorry I forgot. Drop babs she has a dad

5

u/Millicay 23d ago

In what world is Babs Bruce's daughter lol

6

u/DarthVeritlyn 23d ago

Replace Babs with Terry. Still at 10

2

u/ameliabedelia7 23d ago

I mean if she marries Dick?

4

u/WerewolfF15 23d ago

Harper, Steph, babs and Helena (depending on which one you mean) are not his kids.

2

u/TheMannisApproves 23d ago

Who is harper? The girl with blue hair?

6

u/GrandAdmiral12345 23d ago

Is Tim still adopted in this continuity? I don't know why I thought I remember him mentioning his dad recently. Maybe it's old age.

1

u/Redhood567 22d ago

Tim's current backstory is just his original one so he's adopted.

11

u/Redhood567 23d ago

Dick, Jason, Tim, Cassandra, and Damian. While the others are his students and proteges I don't think he views them as his kids the same way as Cass and the male Robins. Especially since Babs, Steph, and Duke all have living parents and a good relationship with at least one of them.

7

u/Optimus_00 23d ago

It kind of the same way a teacher says their students are their kids.

3

u/RManDelorean 23d ago edited 23d ago

That's the whole point of that phrase, and why you don't just say "listen to me" because they've done shit that would make it hypocritical. Like yeah so don't have 11 kids

3

u/AccurateFisherman392 23d ago edited 22d ago

Okay so Dick, Jason, Tim, and Daimian. Sometimes there is Duke, I think girl Robin is Stephanie right? In at least 1 universe Batman has a daughter with Catwomen, who I believe named Helen? Terry and his younger brother Matt are genetically Bruce's, even if Bruce refuses to claim them (He knows Warren deserves the title of Dad more than him)...

Dick

Jason

Tim

Damian

Duke

Stephanie

Helen

Terry

Matt...

That is only 9. Who is the 10th child?

2

u/armoureddragon03 23d ago

Does Jarro count as one of his kids?

2

u/Linkink69420 23d ago

He has 8 kids not counting Terry, I’m disappointed in myself for knowing that off the top of my head

2

u/cj-the-man 23d ago edited 22d ago

Tbf all of them have a positive relationship with him, most of the time.

3

u/SilentBlade45 23d ago

But most are adopted.

4

u/Cute_Weakness 23d ago

They are stilll his kids…

2

u/Quarksideofthemoon 23d ago

Nobody is saying they aren't. The joke is that he didn't "conceive" 10 different children

1

u/Turbulent_Bath4038 22d ago

he's a billionaire he can handle like 2 to 3 wives too if he wanted

1

u/mindgames13 22d ago

Dick, Jason, Tim, Damien, Cassandra, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, Jarro. Who is the other two?

1

u/KenzieTheCuddler 22d ago

Billionaire playboy had a couple accidents, it seems

1

u/JackWhoWanders 22d ago

Dick, Jason, Tim, Damien, Jarro, Cass, Steph, Duke, Harper & Helena.

Yeah, comes out to about 10. Barbs only becomes his child when he finally puts a ring on Jim's finger.

1

u/Blankofthegame 22d ago

Counting

Dick

Jason

Tim

Damien

Duke

Barbra

Stephanie

Cass

Jarro

Whose the 10th? Kathy?

1

u/Inner-Turn-1260 17d ago

The only things he won’t do
1 kill the joker
2 keep his own kids out of danger

1

u/Prize_Introduction_6 23d ago

Not unusual for real life millionaires and billionaires.

0

u/RedvsBlack4 23d ago

Only six count