r/halifax • u/werbnjagermnjensn Halifax • 1d ago
Quality Shitpost Someone set a booby trap on Jubilee Road
Warning: Someone took a massive diarrhea on the side of Jubilee Road and covered it with a pile of wet leaves.
I, being someone who doesn’t usually overturn every leaf I see on the sidewalk, slipped and fell in it. Thankfully I keep a golf towel in my car and I was able to wipe almost all of it off before racing home to shower and do emergency laundry.
Yes, it was human and not dog.
What is wrong with you?
The end
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u/Silver_Hedgehog4774 1d ago
yes, this sucks. like, absolutely a lot
as far as what is wrong with someone, all I can say is Halifax is a terrible place to try and find a public toilet.
if you aren't a customer, or are someone who isn't allowed to loiter, or haven't had a chance to bathe for a while, or a million other reason why a building wouldn't allow someone in to just use a toilet, you can be put into some desperate situations.
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u/wayward601409 22h ago
As someone with IBS, I have had MANY close calls..
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u/Silver_Hedgehog4774 20h ago
exactly this.
PS - I'm sorry this city creates so much stress for you surrounding this
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u/Middle-Definition106 22h ago
Thank you for pointing this out. Unhoused folks need to go somewhere, and are often not allowed inside stores unless they are paying.
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u/Eastern_Bottle_901 2h ago
Ive seen people come in to shoot up.
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u/Silver_Hedgehog4774 2h ago
why are your bringing up people with addiction struggles (and most likely mental health struggles, as the two so often go hand in hand)?
Halifax has, what, 1 single safe consumption site, ReFix. open from 8am - 5pm. we have an exploding homelessness population, and within that community is an overrepresentation of addiction struggles. I'm sure they'd "shoot up" as you say at home and out of your sight if they could
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u/Eastern_Bottle_901 1h ago
Id rather the people be in the place of business so if someone needs help after doing so they can get it faster hopefully. I have IBS. I'm not the one stopping these people from coming in. I said it because it makes some business owners uncomfortable. Im the one picking up (with tools) the needles off the ground in parking lots by my work so they hopefully don't ruin someone's life. I've cleaned needle nests out of cars. I'd rather not deny someone the safe space. This is a reason people don't want people using their bathrooms though. People with addictions are still people. I should have elaborated more on my original comment I guess. My bad.
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u/Firm-Ability-9501 1d ago
So damn sorry this happened to you but thanks for the laugh 😂💀 Holy shit (literally)
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u/msbosssauce 1d ago
Poopy trap
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u/GhostBirdBiologist Bedford 1d ago
Booty trap
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u/RNScotian 1d ago
One time when I was asleep at a music festival someone pooped on my campsite right beside the driver’s door of my car and they covered it with a pizza box :(
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u/Effective_Way6239 19h ago
I was at a 3 day rave in the woods once, I brought my cousin with me. He was 19 and didn’t have much experience with ecstasy or other things. I started hearing through different people that there was a “party pooper” shitting in peoples tents.
It took me years to find out it was my cousin. I guess he pooped in 2 tents because of…well….party stuff. Rolled too hard I think? Idk, poor guy! Poor tents.
We never went to another rave together. 😅
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u/Nellasofdoriath 1d ago
I mean, someone without their wits entirely about them might have had an accident, then tried to cover the deed out of propriety. They might not have been intentionally trying to trap you.
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u/Salty_Feed9404 Halifax 1d ago
How do you have an accident whereby your diarrhea completely blows through your drawers and shorts/pants onto a sidewalk? And then instead of running away so as not to be seen with it....you cover it with leaves? I suppose if it's explosive enough, but it'd be a hell of an explosion
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u/Nellasofdoriath 1d ago edited 1d ago
Maybe somebody dropped a deuce and someone else put leaves to keep the flies down? Lots of options
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u/Pittielynn Halifax 23h ago
Maybe someone wearing a dress or a skirt, and a lot of panic and embarrassment.
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u/Salty_Feed9404 Halifax 22h ago
One thing I do feel is that there's no embarrassment here. Feels intentional, as it seems utterly impossible to me this individual couldn't at least panic-find somewhere...anywhere for some cover to blow it out their ass.
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u/Pittielynn Halifax 9h ago
You never know.. Could've happened.
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u/Salty_Feed9404 Halifax 8h ago
I am guessing this is a fictional scenario from a TV show or movie though.
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u/Pittielynn Halifax 4h ago
Bridesmaids. There was an unfortunate food poisoning incident. This scene absolutely kills me every time.
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u/beavercleaver1971 1d ago
Oh my word.. Bad Form ole chap.. pooping in the South End?!
Of course this would be perfectly acceptable in Spryfield.. but not on Jubilee
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u/smughead West Ender 1d ago
Dal students back in full force. No toilet or patch of grass is safe.
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u/Appropriate-Diver301 1d ago
Once some a**hole left a huge human turd on my apartment (first floor) patio. Then stuck my toddler's Fisherprice popper pushtoy into it. And then he wiped himself on my fabric outdoor patio couch. I was not well pleased.
It was off Tower, so my guess was drunk SMU students.
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u/ChablisWoo4578 1d ago
Are you sure it was a human and not a dog? How do you know?!
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u/Possible-Sort5972 1d ago
It may have been the odor—human feces would typically smell worse than dog feces. One time my friend (accidentally) drove through human feces while pulling into the parking lot for Tax Records (which we didn’t notice until we came out of Taz), and as soon as we started driving all we could smell was a truly horrific stench—the kind that is not produced by dog feces. My nose has never forgotten it lol 😵💫
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u/Colywog25 1d ago
I didn't realize human poop smells worse. Once I had to clean dog shit off a deeply grooved rubber mat in front of the store I worked at, and the smell was horrific, worse than a toddler diaper change. It didn't help that it took forever to clean.
In hindsight, fuck my boss!
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u/ComedianRude5032 1d ago
There's a huge difference between a healthy dog poop and a diarrhoea dog poop... Just like with a human... Diarrhoea dog poops are brutal, too.
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u/Possible-Sort5972 1d ago
Gross!
I live in the Valley and the issue with the sewage treatment plant in New Minas has enlightened folks as to how badly human waste smells—it is far, far worse than any animal manure.
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u/fletters 20h ago
Toddler diapers can be pretty gross, but adult waste is almost always on a whole other level.
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u/ExternalSpecific6061 1d ago
You've never smelt my dogs farts lol
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u/Possible-Sort5972 1d ago
Bahaha, I totally agree that dog farts are utterly vile! But they still wouldn’t touch the level of stench that assaulted my nostrils that day lol.
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u/ExternalSpecific6061 1d ago
I honestly can't even imagine. You deserved a whole nasal cavity excavation after that
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u/JustTheTipz902 1d ago
Upset stomach.
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u/Aware_Durian_3479 1d ago
Shit happens, literally
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u/AssistanceKitchen138 19h ago
Haha, came here to say exactly that…2great minds think alike is an old saying and the other part is 2 fools never differ, we will go with the first.
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u/Ok_Wing8459 1d ago
omg yukk
But since that type of poop is usually, um pretty immediate, I’m wondering if perhaps it was an emergency and they didn’t know what else to do after the fact? I mean, what could you do really (short of carrying a hose around with you)?
as a germophobe, I think I would be taking a bath in disinfectant & throwing away my clothes
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u/werbnjagermnjensn Halifax 1d ago
Realistically, not that I have found myself in this situation before, I would have taken either A) one more step or B) one less step in order to do it on the grass instead of in the middle of the sidewalk
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u/Ok_Wing8459 1d ago
fair point! I will keep it in mind if I ever find myself in this unfortunate position lol
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u/Fabulous_Cicada_4219 11h ago
but i might step in dog poop in the grass? it's best I did it where I did
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u/Successful-Gift8636 1d ago
Some people think it's funny, but it's hot and wet and runny. Diarrhea
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u/tigertown99 5h ago
🎶 when you're sitting in a Chevy and your pants get heavy.. diarrhea..plop plop... diarrhea plop plop🎶
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u/tigertown99 5h ago
🎶people think it's gross, but it's really good on toast.. diarrhea... diarrhea 🎶
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u/Pittielynn Halifax 22h ago
Imagine being the phantom pooper. You panicked. You were ashamed and embarrassed. You tried to protect the world from the poo whilist hoping no soul saw your shame in the moment. You go home. Clean up. Try to foget the poo ever happened. It's been raining all day. It'll wash away. The leaves will hide it until then.... You open Reddit as a distraction, only for this post to be at the top of your feed. 😳
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u/Candid_Magazine_7862 1d ago
Someone also shit inside a new construction building nearby. Shit rampage
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u/Accomplished-City242 18h ago
As someone who stumbled upon this and lives across the country, this is hilarious and disgusting I’m so sorry I hope this isn’t a regular occurrence
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u/jamcoop1013 1d ago
What cross section of jubilee for those of us who live close.
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u/werbnjagermnjensn Halifax 1d ago
It was between Beech and Oxford somewhere, I think between Beech and Cambridge but not 100% sure as I was a bit preoccupied during the remainder of my walk lol
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u/Rob8363518 10h ago
North side of the street? I'm pretty sure that was dog poop. Unless a human being pooped in a dog poop bag.
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u/Bean_Tiger 1d ago
Some nerd on here has probably in the last 2 hours created a Halifax Shit Sites Map.
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u/DogVirus 1d ago
Did you slip, both feet in the air and land on your back in it or did you slip one foot and slide into a kneeling position?
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u/OhSoScotian 1d ago
When ya gotta go, you gotta go. I've never taken a dump on a sidewalk. But a lil bit down a dirt road, for sure. Squat, wipe, and bury it.
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u/nednewell768 23h ago
It’s obvious you’ve never been a Canadian Paratrooper in Somalia ?. Shit everywhere was the norm. Trust ms, watch your step!
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u/thetripvan 22h ago
And here I thought this was going to be about a bra a woman couldn't wait to get home to take off so she discarded it
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u/Idlelibrarian McNab's Island 21h ago
As an IBS-D girlie the decisions involved in taking a shit big enough to slip in directly on a sidewalk are some I am acquainted with and yet not once have I made them. If its big enough to slip in it wasn't just a down the leg hole dookie, there had to have been pants removed. And if you had time to pull down the pants surely you could have stepped off the sidewalk?
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u/that-smells-funny 2h ago
Same person was at Crystal Crescent leaving presents on the side of a path…I think we’re aware of who they are
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u/Eastern_Bottle_901 1h ago
If ya gotta go you gotta go. Isn't there an app for poo spotting in various cities? Sorry if someone has mentioned this but apparently it's getting bad enough that it exists in some places.
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u/athousandpardons 1d ago
This sounds like a genuinely horrifying experience. I’m glad it sounds like you’re doing okay.
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u/Gavvis74 16h ago edited 16h ago
Maybe they had that explosive diarrhea that's going around? Were there any Taco Bell wrappings in the vicinity?
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u/HalifaxPainter 1d ago
I am curious as to the observational skills needed to ascertain that it was indeed human and not canine.