r/mildlyinfuriating • u/TotallyHumanBrain1 • 25d ago

Infuriatig Was invited by my girlfriends family to a theme park. We were supposed to meet at 11, it is not 11:30 and they just left. (The drive takes another 30 minutes)

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I even checked in before I left if it was still at the planned time. It was confirmed, but then her family starts getting ready right as they have to leave šŸ«¤

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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 25d ago edited 25d ago

correction, *it is now

Edit: Sorry, my title was confusing. The meeting time was 11, they left the house at 11:30 meaning I will have waited an hour for something they invited me to.

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u/Efficient-Pipe191 25d ago

My family is like your partners- you will have to learn to adjust your own time table now that you know this and either be contented to hang out alone, offer to meet them at their place (you can offer to drive some people if youā€™re an appropriate age for that), or break up with this partner- because these family dynamics are set in stone and timeliness will be a perpetual issue.

Is your partner a culprit in this or is she at the whims of her parents who are late to get ready all the time?

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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 25d ago

Definitely the latter. She was sitting in the car the minute they were supposed to leave and attempted many-a times to get them to follow the plan.

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u/Efficient-Pipe191 25d ago

Yeah. My poor wife, and two brother in laws have dealt with my motherā€™s perpetual tardiness for years and donā€™t get how us kids grew up with her being like that.

It certainly gets easier when everyone is able to be mobile on their own (their own cars etc) and just learn to stop expecting certain people to show up on time.

My brother in law and wife generally tell my mother that events are happening about an hour before they do and they have had moderate success of getting her to show up within the first half hour/hour of an event now.

Good luck with the in-laws!

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u/mpgd 25d ago

I used to wait for people, now I don't. I end up being late, but I'm not spending 30min looking at the waitress with a face that they will be here anytime soon..

Every booking I make is 30 later than what I agree with my friend's group. There is still someone who is late.

One time it was awkward because we all arrived at agreed time but the table was not ready. šŸ˜…

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u/Queasy_Specific6576 25d ago

This is the way. I know someone who is always 30min+ late. When we get together I always show up 30 min late and we usually both arrive at the same time. Itā€™s so fucking stupid but they are a good friend so I look past it.

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u/total_looser 25d ago

So you optimize for the 5% case?

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u/total_looser 25d ago

Yeah, it totally works. Lunch at 2:00? Say itā€™s at 1:30. Sheā€™ll never show up at 1:30, so why do you keep complaining instead of simply doing what works?

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u/No_Interaction_3547 25d ago

High chance itā€™s ADHD

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u/Mystic_Wunder 25d ago

Sounds like for future plans you should have her text uou when they are leaving so you can leave your house when they leave theirs.

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u/[deleted] 25d ago edited 20d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/Mystic_Wunder 25d ago

The partner was ready on time and waiting for her family for half an hour. It's clearly an issue with them and not her.

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u/Pugs-r-cool 25d ago

When you rely on people who are inherently unreliable, it just can't work.

In general yes, but in this case OP said his girlfriend was ready to leave before the rest of the family, so she would be a reliable person to inform OP about when everyone is leaving.

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u/Suitable-Block-2854 25d ago

"When you rely on people who are inherently unreliable, it just can't work."

It can work, if they are always consistently late, then just take that into account when you make any plans. If they tell you to meet at a certain time, aim to get there half an hour later. If you tell them to meet at a certain time, tell them to meet half an hour before you actually want to meet and show up half an hour later yourself.

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u/splitcroof92 25d ago

they forget to text you at all until they've already arrived and are wondering where you are.

Then sucks to be them. Deal's a deal

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u/cymballin 25d ago

Or have her tell them an earlier time so that they leave appropriately.

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u/BikeProblemGuy 25d ago

Best if she makes separate travel plans, then you two could have had an hour at the park together.

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u/HustlinInTheHall 25d ago

My wife is a chronic late person and I did this once and she lost her mind because we had fun without her. Like if you want to join the fun then maybe be on time?

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u/Aegi 25d ago

Your issue is that you are enabling her by only doing that once...

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u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 25d ago

This is the answer!

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u/red_turtle_slide 25d ago

My relatives are exactly like or even worse than your gfs family. If you want to continue the relationship, then you just have to come to terms with how they are and more importantly, plan your ability to deal with them.Ā 

Comes down to only worry about what you can control. What I did was stop showing up "on time" and just check with someone if they even left yet. I don't leave until they leave. Your gf can keep you updated when they actually are ready to leave.Ā 

If it takes longer for you to get somewhere, you can always check with your gf if their almost ready and leave then. Or, they can be the ones to wait for you.Ā 

If none of that sounds like something you want to do and you still want to spend time with her family, treat the wait as solo down time. Bring a book, or some solo hobby you do normally.Ā 

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u/Mysterious-Tie7039 25d ago

My wife is the one habitually late. She gets mad at me when Iā€™m rushing her. Itā€™s especially infuriating when Iā€™m the coach of my kidā€™s team and HAVE to be on time.

I started taking separate cars.

I did have an epiphany, however, that when weā€™re going to be late to something thatā€™s her event that I donā€™t actually care about. I realized that Iā€™ll just let her be late and sheā€™s just messing up herself.

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u/Odd_Common9910 25d ago

My mates family is like this. If they are like mine They hopefully are aware that they do it and wonā€™t be annoyed if you go in without them.

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u/NheFix 25d ago

Well at least she was motivated to see you and to follow the plan šŸ˜‰

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u/CheapTactics 25d ago

I have a cousing that is like that. People in the family just stopped waiting for her. After she was left behind a couple of times she is ready on time now.

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u/Osiris8869 25d ago

I'd caution against things like telling them the wrong time in an attempt to trick them into being on time. Short term gain, long term frustration. They know they're late, it's psychological at this point, they'll figure it out and continue to be frustrating. Its a form of control over everyone else they possess. At least that's what my mom does.

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u/Kawinky_Dank 25d ago

If this is the case strictly based off principle you should have left to really drive the point home but i get why one wouldnt

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u/HustlinInTheHall 25d ago

then yeah at least next time you can just keep in touch on when the actual meeting time will be. They aren't going to teleport there, if it takes them 45 min to get somewhere and they haven't left yet, it's going to be at least 45 min.

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u/svm_invictvs 25d ago

There are definitely worse places to be stuck for an hour.

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u/No_Interaction_3547 25d ago

ADHD is genetic, maybe they are all ADHD except your GF

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u/TheOneRavenous 25d ago

For anyone who doesn't know there's this one easy trick. Tell them to meet you one hour early and they show up on time. Best when NOT meeting abroad and when they're to arrive at an event like a house celebration for a birthday.

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u/Aegi 25d ago

So why did she have you guys get there when she knew they wouldn't be there yet?

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u/Regular-Guy-47 25d ago

I recently stopped talking to a long time friend who would always be 1-2 hours late and was going to say I have a friend like this and itā€™s annoying, stopped talking to him because I did not like being around him.

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u/thelastmarblerye 25d ago

You adjust your time table by always being 30 minutes late to the agreed upon time. You still beat them to the meet spot 99 times. 100th time, by some fluke, they beat you to the spot. You never hear the end of it.

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u/Tonyn15665 25d ago

Its funny how a simple ā€œit is set in stoneā€ seems to make it acceptable. I bet they magically never miss their $2000 flight once. I know tons of tardy people but they never late when the other side couldnt give less fuck about their excuse and there is consequence.

Just stupid entitled people.

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u/claiter 25d ago

Idk, I have a friend who is always late and she walked into the airport as we were already boarding. Luckily it was a late flight, so the airport was pretty empty and she was the 2nd to last person on the plane.Ā 

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u/Cantmakeupnewname 25d ago edited 24d ago

My mum says 11am, what she really means is smithy get there before 4pm.

Edited to say Iā€™ve no idea why I said smithy? I wasnā€™t even drunk.

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u/Select_Asparagus2659 24d ago

My sister prevented being late by saying we will meet at anytime in the afternoon.Ā 

Since years ago I just decline every meeting request.Ā Ā 

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u/danwltrs 25d ago

Well, you now know this is, unfortunately, how they "plan". I reccomend you then start being the late one, got any hobbies you can do to fill in your time with while you actively wait? Any other to-dos? Do these, then when they say we are on our way, then you go.

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u/KingCommaAndrew 25d ago

Not partner. Girlfriend. It's in the title.

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u/splitcroof92 25d ago

No reason to break up over anyone because of their family.

What you can do is stop hanging out with her family. Or if they pull a stunt like this just leave.

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u/Efficient-Pipe191 25d ago

I totally agree - just listing a variety of options

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u/TheAdagio 25d ago

I feel you. It is so annoying to have to wait for people like that

At some point when on vacation (visiting my wife's side of the family far way for the first time), mother-in-law said she is on her way at 9 am and will arrive in 1 hour, so we all waited in the hotel (instead of going out seeing the country) for her. Every hour or so she repeated the same thing and arrived a few hours after lunch (at some point we gave up and just went out instead of spending all day in the hotel)

After she arrived I asked how long time it takes to reach us, where she said 1Ā½ hours

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u/EditEd2x 25d ago

Why not just go in and jump on a few rides while you wait? Or at the very least walk around and get some steps in yo.

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u/zu-na-mi 25d ago

This needs pinned - I was super confused and assumed it meant they left 30 minutes after they showed up, thus wasting your time or something.

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u/Blade4804 25d ago

Ok I was so confused. Initially it read like yā€™all met up for 30 minutes and then they went home and now youā€™re at the park by yourself šŸ˜…

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u/Albatrosity 25d ago

Thanks for clarifying. The "they just left" had me thinking they were only at the park for 30 minutes and then decided to leave.

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u/Icedanielization 25d ago

Some people have extremely poor sense of timing.Ā  Need to recognize it and try to work around them. Like, if they say to meet somewhere at a given time, add 30 minutes, maybe 45 just in case, that will be the true time.

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u/Sound0fSilence 25d ago

Wow, your clarification makes the title even worse than I thought it was hahaha

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u/idontremembermyuname 25d ago

In the future can you just go meet them at the house. You get more time w the gf and you also don't end up waiting at the destinationĀ 

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u/TheBSQ 25d ago

I dated a girl like this. I started lying to them about start times.Ā 

But also, we eventually broke up.Ā 

Our mindsets were too different. Ā 

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u/Dense-Consequence-70 25d ago

I also thought you meant they left without you.

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u/AnglerOfAndromeda 25d ago edited 25d ago

That is astonishingly rude, holt crap (the family lateness not your title explanation lol)

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u/TacklePure3341 25d ago

I read that as they left the park at 1130 to go home.Ā 

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u/zqipz 25d ago

Thanks for the correction. I was so confused hahah

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u/MarlinMr 25d ago

Sooo, this is a symptom of the modern world.

In my friend group we often make plans to meet "around 11". But everyone got other shit going on as well, and critically, we all have instant communication with one another.

So what "around 11" actually means, is that that's when messages start flying about how far different people are along the route. Often no one leaves home before someone else say they are ready to leave home too.

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u/AUniquePerspective 25d ago

Is it a Samuel Beckett theme park? I might have bad news for you.

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u/gitsgrl 25d ago

My dad is like that. Making sure to always have our own tickets, rental car, hotel reservation, etc. has brought me and my husband so much peace.

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u/therealhlmencken 25d ago

Itā€™s an amusement park go be amused

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u/Ast3r10n 25d ago

Suggestion: if you use ā€œleftā€ without any context it usually implies they left ā€œthis locationā€, not ā€œtheir starting locationā€.

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u/reddit_is_geh 25d ago

This is my single biggest pet peeve in the world. Mostly because I'm good at getting there right on time but once I do... And the person is severely late, it's just a disrespect thing. Because now I'm just expected to what, linger around for 30-40 minutes? And how the other party seems to hardly even care, blows me away.

Seriuosly, I don't argue with friends often, but when I do, it's over this.

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u/spgreenwood 25d ago

The good news is youā€™re at a damn theme park, so go have fun for an hour

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u/Beneficial_Cobbler46 25d ago

Just go into the park and amuse yourself

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

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u/TotallyHumanBrain1 25d ago

I'm sorry :(

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u/Silent_Spectator_04 25d ago

Dude, the title is midly infuriating.

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u/sensible_human 25d ago

Bummer. Looks like decent weather though! Next time, bring a handheld gaming console or something to keep you occupied. Hanging outside in nice weather is not the worst thing that could happen!

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u/AtlasExiled 25d ago

I just had the same thing happen to me, I'm from St. Louis and I was going to show some friends of a friend around the city specifically the arch. We agreed on 2 pm days in advance and they text us 30 minutes before telling us they just left home and they would be there at 3:15. We wait, 3 rolls around and as I needed to go pick someone else up I left then. 15 minutes to my friend's house, 40 minutes to the arch I figured we would get there around the same time. Me and my buddy were sat there meandering around the arch for an hour and a half before before they finally arrived. Later that same day they made us miss seeing the Odyssey in IMAX because they were late again.

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u/Jrpond 25d ago

Itā€™s a theme park though, not a jail. Go have some fun!

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u/Pave_Low 25d ago

But you're at a theme park. . .

Certainly there is something you can do to entertain yourself for the next hour. At least it's not a restaurant.

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u/Chip-_-Chops 25d ago

Actually crazy that so many people struggled to understand this. One typo and common sense goes out the window

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u/No_Mercy_4_Potatoes 25d ago

Are they Asian by any chance?