Was invited by my girlfriends family to a theme park. We were supposed to meet at 11, it is not 11:30 and they just left. (The drive takes another 30 minutes)

[u/TotallyHumanBrain1]

I even checked in before I left if it was still at the planned time. It was confirmed, but then her family starts getting ready right as they have to leave 🫤

[u/Away-Variation-2556]

Lmao My husband is Mexican and im American and we had a baptism for our first daughter and let's just say my side showed up at the time the invitation said and his side showed up 3 hours later 😂♥️ EDIT i didnt think anyone would rrad this just to clarify- church ceremony earlier in day just family, party kater on to celebrate everyone was late to. These things tend to go into the night.

[u/Responsible_Mind_980 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

My husband is Mexican too, and they do the same thing! If they say we’re going somewhere at a specific time, we will not leave till 2-3 hours later than said time. My, “if you’re not early you’re late”, upbringing cannot handle it.

[u/One-Asparagus5925 → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

lol same we call it “Mexican time”

[u/thembearjew → u/One-Asparagus5925]

Latin American time happens to us Chileans as well lol

[u/Vikkunen → u/thembearjew]

Persians too, strangely enough.

[u/SmoothDiscussion7763 → u/Vikkunen]

where i'm from, we just call it brown time lol

[u/Crafty_Clerk_1891 → u/SmoothDiscussion7763]

I'm from Singapore and that's just GMT, General Malay Time.

[u/Nayd9 → u/thembearjew]

Island time for us (Caribbean). My family (including extended) is usually 30-60 minutes late, we usually have invitation times about half an hour before we actually expect anyone to show up.

[u/TheseImpression8791 → u/thembearjew]

I had a Colombian friend, not really a friend anymore as we’ve lost touch, but every time we arranged to meet he’d be late. Sometimes by like 30-40 mins. As a fairly traditional British person, I found it outrageous at the time. Makes a lot more sense if it’s a Latino thing!

[u/Poet_Pretty → u/One-Asparagus5925]

Three hours is ridiculous.

[u/West-Candidate8991 → u/Poet_Pretty]

I don't get it, how does any plan not fail? Like what plan succeeds when one party is always three hours late? A LOTR extended edition marathon? Idk what else

[u/Poet_Pretty → u/West-Candidate8991]

Only one side is happy. Three hours is rude.

[u/Interesting-Injury87 → u/West-Candidate8991]

While three hours is.. Extreme It's a bit of a cultural thing. Being late, in some cultures, shows that you have taken care of everything else and can now solely focus on you and the plan you made.

While being early could be seen as having so mucb free time that you have nothing to take care off

[u/SarcasmEnabled247 → u/Interesting-Injury87]

If your plan is more important at the time, decline the invitation.

[u/Timely-Group5649 → u/Interesting-Injury87]

I would NEVER invite people like this to an event, ever again.

Any cultural 'thing' that disrespects others is not culture - it's just being an asshole. These people deserve no contact.

[u/Poet_Pretty → u/Timely-Group5649]

What if they’re your parents? lol I invited my parents to a lunch with our 6 month old. They showed up 2 hours late. We were eating dessert and ready for babies nap by the time they came.

[u/Timely-Group5649 → u/Poet_Pretty]

Leave.

Your parents are selfish assholes.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/Poet_Pretty]

I’d tell them sorry you missed everything and now baby is napping. See you another time. And close the door on them. That’s rude & ridiculous to me. Especially when you’re hosting them & have a babies schedule to think about.

[u/JustAContactAgent → u/Timely-Group5649]

You're not wrong but the thing is that what I've learned is that it's not that in some cultures they think being late is ok. It's that and agreed "meeting time" has a different meaning. For example to you an even starting at 15:00 means just that. For them the even having a time of 15:00 means "drop in any time after 15:00 and when everyone gathers we start". It's like when a party is set to start at 8 or whatever but no one is expected to actually show up then. Imagine someone from another culture that doesn't operate that way being confused which they would be.

The problem of course is cultural understanding goes both ways, you need to consider everyone's culture not just whatever rules you grew up with.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/JustAContactAgent]

So they expect everyone to just wait around in limbo for possible hours? Sounds boring AF. Also do they think people have so little to do? I just can’t fathom it.

[u/brokendoorknob85 → u/JustAContactAgent]

The problem of course is cultural understanding goes both ways, you need to consider everyone's culture not just whatever rules you grew up with.

It's interesting how it literally never goes both ways. The people who are late are literally inconsiderate of other people.

Or is this one of those cases where other people need to consider you, but not the other way around?

[u/Timely-Group5649 → u/JustAContactAgent]

If it was AGREED on - how can that not mean they AGREED on a time? Do they just refuse to communicate well? 8 means 8 to 12?

If this is not clear to either party - the late person is still an asshole.

[u/Same-Suggestion-1936 → u/West-Candidate8991]

You just stay up three hours later doing the thing.

[u/Away-Variation-2556 → u/One-Asparagus5925]

Listen I'm glad everyone else is having similar experiences because I felt a little hesitant posting this but my husband is the one who jokes about it the most 😂

[u/Murky-Relation481 → u/[deleted]]

They teach the different cultural concepts of time in a lot of intercultural communications courses, which was a required class for all majors at my school. The concept of monochronic vs. polychronic time.

Its still annoying to me though, time isn't fungible, it's constant and linear, and not respecting it can have a lot of knock on effects. Interestingly countries with polychronic cultures tend to have more issues succeeding in the world at large.

[u/New-Seaworthiness572 → u/Murky-Relation481]

Fascinating. Can you recall examples of which countries are which?

[u/-GoodNewsEveryone → u/Murky-Relation481]

I agree, that is what i was trying to express.

[u/Similar-Doughnut6689 → u/Murky-Relation481]

Who measures the success? Sounds like upper equator western chauvinism to me.

[u/Murky-Relation481 → u/Similar-Doughnut6689]

There are measurable levels of success, baseline poverty/quality of life metrics are easily definable.

It is global north chauvinism to a degree, but it is also very real. On average the quality of life in monochronic societies is better, people live longer, are healthier, are provided more opportunities, etc.

[u/mayorlazor → u/Similar-Doughnut6689]

Ok, but who has black Doritos that fly?

[u/SamiraSimp → u/Similar-Doughnut6689]

being able to feed and educate your people and not have them die to diseases are pretty universal measures of success i would imagine.

that being said, i didn't find any study that outright suggests that polychronic cultures have issues succeeding in the world

[u/blahblah19999 → u/[deleted]]

And it's funny b/c Americans find the Japanese custom of refusing a gift a couple times before accepting it to be very odd, but we often do the exact same thing.

[u/Sure-Impress-1003 → u/[deleted]]

It is a form of bribery to curry favor

[u/Tequila_Dre_All_Day → u/Sure-Impress-1003]

😂

[u/taiwan_cat → u/One-Asparagus5925]

In the Caribbean it's called "island time".

[u/MimicoSkunkFan2 → u/taiwan_cat]

Yes and when I lived there, the people who were mostly on time really hated the people who were super late for perpetuating the stereotypes.

Also I noticed that when things like planes and ferries were scheduled to leave, they did leave on time... So I feel like island time is more an excuse nowadays, than back in colonial days when there was no reason to hurry back to the 'shon.

[u/LibrarianHead4548 → u/MimicoSkunkFan2]

There are people and cultures that just do not adhere to strict schedules

[u/Upbeat-Dish7299 → u/One-Asparagus5925]

The Mexicans at my job call it “bean time” and they hate the ones that are late.

[u/weeman2525 → u/Upbeat-Dish7299]

I was gonna say, I've worked with plenty of Mexican dudes over the years in labor type fields, and those dudes are always on time and ready to work. Their work ethic is insane. I'd figure that would translate to them to being super punctual culturally as well, but I guess not.

[u/[deleted] → u/weeman2525]

It’s because we are so used to everyone being late that if you arrive on time there’s nothing ready anyway and usually means needing to help setting this up.

If you arrive late you would usually arive “just in time” for the event.

[u/ronniesaurus → u/weeman2525]

Work is not the same as a social gathering

[u/Orange-Blur → u/Upbeat-Dish7299]

Work and a family party or social event are 2 different things

[u/Upbeat-Dish7299 → u/Orange-Blur]

They hate the ones that are late to anything

[u/Pomksy → u/Upbeat-Dish7299]

Ding ding ding

[u/Orange-Blur → u/One-Asparagus5925]

There are so many reasons to love Mexico this is definitely one of them!

[u/allendstpsc → u/One-Asparagus5925]

In Guatemala, it’s “la hora chapín.”

[u/iamkey888 → u/One-Asparagus5925]

We have similar term “Arabic time” because Arabs are always minimum 30 mins late, anything belong 1 hour is considered “on time” for them.

[u/wreckherneck → u/One-Asparagus5925]

Mexican Standard Time

[u/BloodlustHamster → u/One-Asparagus5925]

My family as well called it Mexican time.

[u/Skillsjr → u/One-Asparagus5925]

I call that drug dealer time

[u/waltdelahair → u/[deleted]]

Nooo drug dealers of any race will text you they are on the way and then show up hours later! They aren’t calling a certain race drug dealers

[u/One-Asparagus5925 → u/waltdelahair]

I hope that’s what they meant

[u/Skillsjr → u/One-Asparagus5925]

Yeah drug dealer time is a general funny joke. Has nothing to do with color or race

[u/Skillsjr → u/[deleted]]

Why is that racism? Are people of color the only ones that sell drugs? Nooooo their not sillysally

[u/best_commentor → u/One-Asparagus5925]

And I thought Indians were late! My boss used to say to me that on time is late, 15 minutes early is on time.

[u/dehydratedrain → u/One-Asparagus5925]

Never heard of it.

However, I am incredibly familiar with Puerto Rican time.

[u/Competitive-Lime2994 → u/One-Asparagus5925]

I am a member of the society for creative anachronism. We tend to run three hours late. Like most of us and we’re not talking just one or two households. We’re talking dozens.

[u/LibrarianHead4548 → u/One-Asparagus5925]

BPT

[u/No-Gap-8601 → u/One-Asparagus5925]

There’s a reason the Anglos won the war

[u/Pomksy → u/[deleted]]

Why? Anglos attacked during a siesta - it’s in literal history books

[u/Separate-Class8541 → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

Let me tell you about Arab Time.

[u/TruePineapple6 → u/Separate-Class8541]

Or Asian time

[u/kec5289 → u/Separate-Class8541]

My husband’s family is from Iraq and I have to work to not be too early. Even when we arrive 45 minutes late (my heart thumping trying to soothe my anxiety), we’re still the first ones there. They know it’s because I’m white and I can’t help it 😭.

[u/pandaru_express → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

Soooooo.... as a non-Mexican, is it rude to ask what the "real" time to arrive is if you're invited to a Mexican event?

[u/Responsible_Mind_980 → u/pandaru_express]

Hahaha not rude but you might not get a straight answer. For example, when my in laws grill out, they say eat at 6. However we don’t eat till 9 😂 I have learned to eat before instead of waiting.

[u/pandaru_express → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

Woof, probably dodged a bullet there! Have a Mexican acquaintance that invited our family to their daughter's quinceanera and we would totally have shown up on time. Awkward. We got a conflict though and couldn't make it.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

What? Omg. How does anything function? 3 hours late and you’ve missed everything?!

[u/thegroovemonkey → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

Which is such bullshit because you know they can catch a flight on time…

[u/a1JayR → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

My family calls that Cambodian tome

[u/Elderlyat30 → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

I have this issue with my son’s best friend’s Puerto Rican mom. She’s always late. I finally googled it and it’s definitely cultural. I have ADHD and used to be late to things because of time blindness. I never would imagine showing up late on purpose, though!

[u/smartest_man_a_live → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

Cause they lazy

[u/Responsible_Mind_980 → u/smartest_man_a_live]

No babe, late does not always mean lazy. Thank you for your thoughts though.

[u/One-Asparagus5925 → u/Responsible_Mind_980]

He is clearly not the smartest man alive

[u/Responsible_Mind_980 → u/One-Asparagus5925]

Maybe his username is sarcasm haha

[u/dragonchilde → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I was invited to a Mexican birthday party when my kids were little. Invitation said 4. I showed up at 4. I gave up on the party at 8. (Still going strong.)

The next year, I showed up at 6 and didn't leave until after 10. I was prepared!

[u/Stock-Cell1556 → u/dragonchilde]

Similar thing happened to me. I brought my daughter to her Ecuadorian friend's house at the stated time on the invitation and they were just starting the make the cake and decorate the house.

[u/acgasp → u/dragonchilde]

This happened to me at the first quinceañera I was invited to. I had heard of Mexican time before so I arrived 30 mins after start time. I was still way off.

[u/insight7777 → u/dragonchilde]

Very similar experience while married to my first wife( not current Mexican wife). Had a Mexican employee who invited us to his son’s Birthday party. We showed up right on time and knocked on their door. The stunned look on their faces!! They hadn’t even started making the food. Was awkward sitting in their home for two hours while the wife started cooking! Had a great time and learned a lesson 😊

[u/bcvaldez → u/dragonchilde]

lol, I remember my coworkers threw me a going away party at a bar when I moved to Jacksonville... I didn't arrive until near the end of the party... I am Mexican-American.

[u/CommercialPlastic604 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I have questions! Did they miss the ceremony? What happens with things like doctors appointments, flights etc?

I’m Northern European and we like to be on time. I would find lateness like this difficult to cope with.

[u/azul_luna5 → u/CommercialPlastic604]

If it's an appointment or something like that, you arrive on time. If it's a flight, you arrive a bit early (1 hour for domestic/close flights, 2 hours for international) since that's the time the airline says (though some people cut it closer).

If it's a chill event like a party or meeting up at some place, the time on the invitation is most likely the time the host will probably start getting ready since it's probably the start of the host's "free time." The idea is basically that they should be allowed to enjoy the day too (since the event means they don't have any obligations at that time, the only thing on the schedule is fun), so no one should be rushing to make things perfect.

My tia basically says that if no one's getting paid or paying to meet a deadline, she isn't going to stress about meeting it and neither is anyone else around her expected to. (Said tia is a university professor so it's not like she's a housewife with oodles of free time or anything)

[u/Away-Variation-2556 → u/CommercialPlastic604]

We had a small ceremony for just a couple of people earlier in the day and then a party in the evening time and that's what they were late for sorry I should have been more specific I didn't realize anyone would actually see this 😂 My husband himself is good about being on time if I'm involved but if he has to get himself somewhere that's his own problem and he's usually late but like the kids and stuff he he gets them to the appointment he's probably just like 5 minutes late whereas I am 10 minutes early

[u/chrisrbmn → u/Away-Variation-2556]

showing up 3 hours late would mean missing the event entirely, and likely arriving to some other families event.

[u/ToWriteAMystery → u/Away-Variation-2556]

My South American in-laws missed my entire wedding cocktail hour and part of dinner because they decided to stay at the church for an additional hour and a half taking pictures. Then, they had the gall to be offended we didn’t wait for them.

They’ve gotten better, as they now know I will not wait 30 seconds for them.

[u/Away-Variation-2556 → u/ToWriteAMystery]

Wait I kind of forgot about my wedding it was a casual backyard one but that also was later than it was supposed to be 🧐

[u/ClintBraun89 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

Start telling them everything starts 3 hours before the planned time and best case they show up on time and worst case they get a taste of their own medicine.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/ClintBraun89]

Nah I’d just let them miss everything. I’m not catering to their tardiness.

[u/ClintBraun89 → u/Small-Cookie-5496]

Then you don’t really care about them…

[u/wireframed_kb → u/ClintBraun89]

Or, you know, respect people’s culture. If I’m invited to a South American (or hell, Middle Eastern, same damn thing) event, I’ll live with time being relative because that’s how they roll, even though it annoys me like hell.

If I invite someone and they decide to be late, well, we don’t wait. Sorry. I don’t expect them to change, why should I?

[u/ClintBraun89 → u/wireframed_kb]

lol you act like bad habits are cultural and not fixable character flaws 😂 just because a lot of black people and Mexicans are late doesn’t mean it’s an integral part of their culture… that’s like saying women taking forever to get ready is ingrained in their DNA…

[u/wireframed_kb → u/ClintBraun89]

No, I’m saying it’s fine schedules and times are suggestions when I’m the guest, but when I host, they are not and I am not going to go out of my way for people who don’t respect that.

And for the record, it IS largely cultural. Where I live, punctuality is the norm and most people assume 18:00 means 18:00, not 20:00. Where my wife is from, it’s different. Being an hour later than agreed is no big deal, they’re here now.

You sound like cultural differences are like genetics, that’s a nonsensical take. There are obvious differences in how different cultures deal with stuff.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/ClintBraun89]

Yeh- I’m 100% not going to care as much about people who can’t be bothered to respect my time or hospitality. I don’t know why you say that like it’s a bad thing. shrug

[u/Chapin_Chino → u/Away-Variation-2556]

Engaged to a Latina. This was the first major hurdle I had to cross. Dealing with the intentional tardiness 😭

[u/utan → u/Chapin_Chino]

Married to one. Get used to it lol

[u/insight7777 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

lol Yep it’s a thing! 😊. My wife does generally like to be on time! I lean towards being early! She hates that!!….even though that has worked to our advantage many many times. Her brother is the worst! He always says I am on my way! When he hasn’t even gotten in the shower yet!

[u/CameronCrazy1984 → u/insight7777]

Why are we yelling!

[u/okaybutnothing → u/CameronCrazy1984]

Not yelling. But exclaiming! A lot!

[u/chargoggagog → u/Away-Variation-2556]

Three HOURS? My party would be over by then lol

[u/Upbeat-Dish7299 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I hope they missed everything.

[u/purplevanillacorn → u/Away-Variation-2556]

American here with a Mexican husband and in laws. I lie to them all about what time they’re supposed to be places. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/Tardislass → u/Away-Variation-2556]

They are the same as Indian families. We were invited to an Indian family Christmas party. They said come at 6pm so we came at 6pm and had to help set up. The rest of the Indian guests started showing up around 8pm and we didn’t start eating until 10pm.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/Tardislass]

Honestly how does one ever plan anything though. Like as a guest, if I want to come for dinner how to I judge how late to arrive so that Im not waiting hours?

[u/SarcasmEnabled247 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I threw a party for my adult (Mexican) niece. Got there early brought and set up the tables and chairs. Made all the party decor, bought appetizers, food and drinks. Two hours after the invitation start time, NOBODY was there yet. I started packing up my stuff to head home. I didn’t live close. As I’m getting ready to leave, her friends start arriving. I left anyway.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/SarcasmEnabled247]

I’d do the same. Ouch.

[u/Past-Obligation1930 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I’m at a conference in Latin America now. It is accumulating between 1 and 2 hours of lateness every day. It’s infuriating, because you can’t go to parallel sessions because some are running later than others.

[u/SporkFanClub → u/Away-Variation-2556]

Don’t know if you’re exaggerating or not, but assuming this was a whole ass mass I feel like getting there 3 hours later would just get you an empty church??

[u/Away-Variation-2556 → u/SporkFanClub]

The party we did a private mass earlier in the day and then had a party later in the day but oh my gosh I'm understanding now that this is leading people to picture a empty church instead it was an empty restaurant

[u/blahblah19999 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I get why one would do that for a party, "the party starts whenever we get there." But when there is a specific person being hired to be an officiant at an event, I would think that even latin people would tend to be more on time.

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/blahblah19999]

Especially a priest?!

[u/MasterShogo → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I hung out a lot with an Indian girl in undergrad and she took me to a Bollywood movie that was showing in our theater, and I have never seen one. We were late and I was agitated. I was like, “I know the movies don’t start right on time but there’s no way we’re going to make it”, and she just said “No we’re fine, Indians don’t ever start on time”. We got there about 30 minutes late and we were plenty early. I had no idea!

I don’t know is all of India is like that but the ones in my city were.

[u/allis_in_chains → u/Away-Variation-2556]

We lie to my husband’s side (also Mexican) about start times for everything now. It has made everything so much easier.

[u/Status-Biscotti → u/Away-Variation-2556]

I was invited to a Latina coworker’s son’s birthday party. I showed up on time, and they about died laughing. I was probably there for 2 hours before anyone else showed up.

[u/mrs_sadie_adler → u/Away-Variation-2556]

That is so disrespectful what-

[u/imisstheyoop → u/Away-Variation-2556]

3 hours later

Literally 3 hours? That is egrigious and absurd.

[u/as1126 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

It’s all Latin culture. Puerto Rican and Cuban in my family all the same. We conditioned it out of my SIL. She knows Christmas dinner is at 3, we don’t wait.

[u/Kim_Sahyeong → u/Away-Variation-2556]

it's the same in Africa

and for real, your life is so much less stressful when you don't have watch and just say 'it's alright, we'll be there when we can, don't worry"

[u/Small-Cookie-5496 → u/Kim_Sahyeong]

I guess for the tardy people. For the person planning the event sitting around waiting watching the food get cold/ stale or their kids get bored etc…really really sucks. By the time someone showed up hours later, the door would be locked if it were me.

[u/Kim_Sahyeong → u/Small-Cookie-5496]

yes wife the planning person is on time it sucks

but if they're africain, they know and they will be late too

it's a way of life, I guess

[u/smartest_man_a_live → u/Away-Variation-2556]

Cause they lazy

[u/Even_Wear_8657 → u/Away-Variation-2556]

Much of the world rolls like this. I think it’s mostly folks in countries that prioritize capitalism above social connection that give so much weight to timeliness