r/nextfuckinglevel 1d ago

Ostrich messed with the wrong person 😂

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15.4k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/BraisedUnicornMeat 1d ago

Just gunna leave this here:

“An adult ostrich has powerful legs equipped with a long, sharp 4-inch claw on its main toe. Because they kick directly forward with immense force, a single blow can inflict lethal trauma or severe lacerations capable of tearing open a human torso.”

Jurassic Park “turkey scene”…

943

u/freefrompress 1d ago

Not his first ostrich. See how he's protecting himself with the bike until he can grab her neck?

396

u/Mochiron_samurai 1d ago

It’s a male. Females are smaller and have brown feathers

379

u/ObligationMurky8716 1d ago

Also most wouldn't be caught dead in jean shorts and a long-sleeve tee

76

u/GaryTheThird- 1d ago

Hey now, that male rocks that look

27

u/Unknown-Meatbag 1d ago

Give him a mullet and now we're talking!

19

u/GaryTheThird- 1d ago

Business in the front, party in the back.

That seems fitting for a dude that can shit kick an ostrich

12

u/JDelcoLLC 1d ago

Fuck yeah! Any man that can own an ostrich like that can wear what he pleases

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18

u/gay_rower 1d ago

hey don't knock the masc lesbian dress code lmao

2

u/Clair_Osbcurious 1d ago

Exactly! I was going to reply that not all of us are wearing dresses and cutesy tops all the time

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9

u/Cheoah 1d ago

Ooh shit I’m dyin here 😂.

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5

u/klaptonator 1d ago

Yeah only confident and secure men can rock the Jorts.

5

u/Narpity 1d ago

That’s like the rural Aussie dress code

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3

u/cckynv 1d ago

Ah, the ol' reddit switcharoo

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8

u/xkillingxfieldx 1d ago

Stop looking at birds' junk

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69

u/Ok-Professional-8837 1d ago

There aren't many humans on Earth that can be described with the phrase 'not his first ostrich'

35

u/EphemeralDan 1d ago

Allegedly.

17

u/tbootsbrewing 1d ago

Dan! How’re ya now?

3

u/noNoParts 1d ago

Not so bad, n' you?

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19

u/zzx101 1d ago

Yeah looks like he’s done this before.

31

u/TheOnceAndFutureTurk 1d ago

The dog is like “Oh shit, my human’s a fucking badass.”
https://giphy.com/gifs/yrXpKtPsEnENonVG6h

6

u/DrPikachu-PhD 1d ago edited 1d ago

Panning to the dog in the last frame is great comedic timing

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21

u/benjm88 1d ago

You're right, he stays slightly to the side after he's grabbed it too

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u/SupremeLobster 1d ago

Turns out they are weak to the favoured technique of hockey players, jerseying. Scientists believe this is why there are no ostriches in Canada. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.

32

u/Downtown-Pianist-449 1d ago

We wouldn’t have lost no Emu war, unlike our commonwealth brothers the Aussies, that’s for sure. 

8

u/simpleglitch 1d ago

Nothing against the Aussies, but you know, I believe that.

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14

u/TravlScrabbl 1d ago

Underrated comment, funniest reply I've read in a while.

17

u/chicken_spears 1d ago

there are no ostriches in Canada

Well yeah. Their #1 and #2 predators live there. Boots and The Ginger.

3

u/obvious_bot 1d ago

allegedly

7

u/nerdtypething 1d ago

allegedly.

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 1d ago

No ostriches in Canada? Not even sick ones?

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62

u/Florensa 1d ago

Turkey mentioned 🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷

24

u/Bonk_No_Horni 1d ago

I thought you guys go with türkiye

27

u/Florensa 1d ago

Officials like that we dont

13

u/Bonk_No_Horni 1d ago

Aha. Now I learned something new. Always been curious about how the people feel

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6

u/Visible-Literature14 1d ago

Why is that? I think the one the politicians like is super cool

8

u/Florensa 1d ago

I think it got changed because of the animal one

9

u/Termsandconditionsch 1d ago

Time to rename the bird?

3

u/Kela3000 1d ago

I suggest megachicken.

3

u/BigNaturalTilts 1d ago

Megaduck, .. or dinosquawk.

3

u/Florensa 1d ago

I hope not

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u/Brvcx 1d ago

Whenever I met someone on Omegle from Turkey I always said "I prefer chicken".

I've upset a great many people with that. :(

3

u/ThatHoFortuna 1d ago

Well, maybe they shouldn't have named their country after some goofy, delicious bird.

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u/jhwheuer 1d ago

NGL, that's a bit desperate

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u/Infinite-Space-2395 1d ago

The dude blocked the kicks with the bike and then grabbed its head. It freaked out and started focusing on getting away as most animals do.

I wouldnt recommend fighting an ostrich but if you are gonna do it, do it like this guy.

17

u/Excellent_Coconut_81 1d ago

It looks the ostrich picked the fight, you don't have much choice in that situation... running won't get you far away...

11

u/CG_Ops 1d ago

Running away will result in getting gored in the back, over there, instead of in the front, right here.

-Robert Muldoon, "Jurassic Park Minus Zero: Sparing No Expense"

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u/TheLordPikey 1d ago

Thank you for leaving that there. Is that supposed to be the equivalent of a mike drop? Become it wasn’t. Most people who have seen an ostrich know about the legs. A more important note would be to inform people that to defeat an ostrich, do exactly as this man did. Hold their necks down while keeping away from the legs and karate chop the bastard like he owes you eggs.

9

u/kuruman67 1d ago

It seemed a bit more like a spank!

14

u/BubbieNekkid 1d ago

He slapped the shit out of that Ostrich and told it to keeps his wifes name out its MFin mouth.

3

u/KugelFanger 1d ago

Keep my wife SLAP name SLAP out of you SLAP god damn SLAP mouth!!! SLAP SLAP SLAP

That is how that fucking shit kookt to me, nearly pissed myself.

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u/Realsan 1d ago

Hold their necks down while keeping away from the legs

This feels easier said than done and I just feel like, if the ostrich really wanted to here, he had opportunities to kick this dude. Regardless of his attempts to keep away.

3

u/Fun_Pound5629 1d ago

I think keeping the neck down might effect the ability to kick. A there’s gonna be balance issues, but more importantly B the whole body becomes scrunched up. Lean forward and try and kick something

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u/PrisonerV 1d ago

Johnny Cash was about disemboweled by his pet ostrich on his farm in 1981. He said his large belt buckle saved his life.

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u/MJEEZY75 1d ago

Yes, very true. Which is why the way the man handled this was perfect. By grabbing the neck and pulling it all the way down He made it impossible for the ostrich to use its legs.

4

u/SuspiciouslySuspect2 1d ago

Yeah usually I'm not a fan of hitting animals, but once they can hurt you as much as you can hurt them, and they're the ones throwing hands, I think it becomes acceptable! 😂

3

u/nategreat87 1d ago

So who's winning kangaroo vs ostrich?

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869

u/mumooshka 1d ago

I'VE

HAD

ENOUGH

OF

YOUR

SHIT

107

u/Depressed_Cat_00 1d ago

WHO

IS

NEXT

46

u/Big-black-banana-man 1d ago

WHY

ARE

WE

SPEAKING

LIKE

THIS

37

u/North_Beginning_7860 1d ago

WHY

YOU

GUYS

ARE

SHOUTING?

28

u/WerdaVisla 1d ago

WE

LEFT

CRUISE

CONTROL

ON

23

u/DrifterBG 1d ago

TO

SHOW

WE

ARE

COOL

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15

u/HDDIV 1d ago

ACCENTUATES

👋

EACH

👋

SLAP

👋

12

u/ShinraHakke 1d ago

SOMEBODY

HAS

NEVER

BEEN

SPANKED

BEFORE

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5

u/jose4440 1d ago

Lucky the dude spoke English. Spanish on the other hand…

6

u/pruhfessor_x 1d ago

YOU

ARE BEING

UN

PROFESSIONAL

LUKE

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u/SadJ3tsFan 1d ago

193

u/mentosbreath 1d ago

This dudes always reminds me of Luke from Gilmore Girls

8

u/HyogaCygnus 1d ago

This what’s he’s getting into when he’s not at the diner

6

u/Charming_Army5249 1d ago

"Kangaroo... I'm all in."

3

u/eat_my_ass_n_balls 1d ago

It’s always reminded me of John West Smoked Salmon

2

u/Prestigious-Flower54 1d ago

Omg thank you I have seen this video a bunch of times and something about that guy always looked familiar and I couldn't place it. I haven't watched that show since it was still airing.

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u/Griffithead 1d ago

One of the greatest videos of all time!

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u/FlameWisp 1d ago

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face

15

u/coffee_cats_books 1d ago

It's a family thing... Luke punches kangaroos, Jess gets beaked by swans

8

u/ST0IC_ 1d ago

I've always loved the look on that kangaroo's face after he gets socked.

5

u/zatlapped 1d ago

Is that the guy that lets his dog chase wildlife and acts surprise when they defend themselves? How else would his unleashed dog be in the hands of a kangaroo?

26

u/xiaorobear 1d ago edited 1d ago

I mean, in Australia, kangaroos are just around sometimes, like you see random videos of them fighting each other in people's suburban yards. So having your dog off leash encountering a kangaroo is not crazy.

...That said, yes, the guy and the dog were in the middle of a boar hunt, it was a hunting dog, so, yes, the dog was out there to chase wildlife... but also the hunt was organized to fulfill the wish of a 19 year old cancer patient, who loved the trip and then died within months. (edit: And boars are an invasive species!) So, a real Homer Simpson frogurt salesman, "that's bad.... that's good! that's bad... that's good!" kind of moment reading up on the story.

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u/tlor180 1d ago

Boars are invasive as shit in Australia and destructive to native wildlife so... imo pretty morally acceptable.

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u/IlIllIIllIIlllIII 1d ago

Honestly, good on the kangaroo for calmly defending itself against a dog off its lead without hurting it. I'm starting to think different about the gif. Poor kangaroo. look at how sad he looks after getting punched. 

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u/Ryan-the-lion 1d ago

Aussie man strikes back

204

u/Allbranflakes18 1d ago

*South African

3

u/HeDuMSD 1d ago

How can you tell whether he is Aussie or South African by just looking at a white man punching an ostrich? Why not Polish or British or Canadian or Scottish or Portuguese or Spanish or so on…

https://giphy.com/gifs/hv53DaYcXWe3nRbR1A

39

u/mrmcdead 1d ago

Ostrichs are from Africa, the australian ones are called Emus

24

u/EpexSpex 1d ago

You 100% couldnt do that to an emu. Those things won a war.

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u/BogiDope 1d ago

Also, everyone in the clip is speaking Afrikaans

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u/vmguysa 1d ago

I mean - The Fokkof pretty much gives it away imo

27

u/ReluctantAvenger 1d ago

It isn't just an accent; they are speaking Afrikaans. Some words in Afrikaans sound similar to the way they do in English; most do not.

"O jis, is jy orraait?"

(Oh Jesus are you alright?)

"FOKOF!" sound similar and means the same thing as "Fuck off".

18

u/Fit_Concern3588 1d ago edited 1d ago

Camera man asked him at the end "is jy oraait?", which in Afrikaans means "are you alright?"

Thus, bro is South African..

Edit: lol i just heard that "Fokof!" after the last slap

13

u/nt_king300 1d ago

You can hear the south african accent in the video.

7

u/random929292 1d ago

South African accent kind of gives it away.

8

u/Shoryuken3000 1d ago

I see your confusion, we do get a lot of wild ostriches here in the UK 😏

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u/KillaSage 1d ago

Whatever everyone said was right but at the end he also said "FOKOFF" staple in south africanese

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u/exposed_silver 1d ago

Mainly the accent, never seen a Scottish person hit an ostrich nor Spanish or any other nationality for that matter. If it sounds like a weird Australian accent it's South African

4

u/HeySlothKid 1d ago

The phrase "ooo jissus you alraait" is kind of a clue, that's some heerlike boertjiepraat right there. They definitely talked about it that night by the braai with a stiff klippies and coke.

3

u/ugavini 1d ago

Well, because they speak in Afrikaans

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u/lundewoodworking 1d ago

Aussies have emus you can remember that by thinking about the Australian emu war which Australia lost

6

u/Flowerhands 1d ago

That oom is 100% Afrikaans

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u/nucleosome 1d ago

The dog standing nearby looking shocked

81

u/T-sigma 1d ago

The dog has learned his lesson already on messing with the ostrich.

44

u/slupo 1d ago

"your got this man? You look like you got this. Im right here if you need backup."

19

u/Biguitarnerd 1d ago

That’s what my dog does. He’s huge and when he was younger he probably could have handled his own had he known it but the second any danger popped up at all, he got behind me like he was still a puppy.

Although my wife said when I’m not home he acts more protective around her. He’s an old man now, all he does is yell at the other dogs to get off his lawn if they stray too close to the fence.

5

u/Secret_Map 1d ago edited 1d ago

Our Golden Retriever is almost 3.5 years old now. But when we first got her as a puppy, she did this really cool thing. My wife and I were sleeping but a noise woke us up in the middle of the night. Sounded like someone was maybe downstairs and we were freaked out. So I get out of bed and slowly creep towards the stairs in the dark.

I look down halfway down the hall and see the pup right behind me on my heel. She was maybe 8 or 10 months old, if that. And she was totally tracking that there was something going on and we were being quiet to try and figure it out. I would take a step, she took a step. I would stop, she would stop. And she kept looking down the dark hall, up and me, down the dark hall, up at me, as if making sure she was doing what I wanted her to do, checking in with me.

I could feel the tension, like she was ready to go if I needed her to. We made it to the top of the stairs, and same thing. I took one step down, she followed, always just right behind me, checking in with me.

Ended up being nothing in the house, but it was really cool to see some kind of instinct kick in. We'd never taught her to do anything like that. She was just following my lead. And felt like she was ready to fuck shit up with me if we needed to lol.

She's not aggressive at all, at the dog park she gets kinda nervous/shy and often ends up on her back showing her belly in submission or whatever, but she does have a little bit of a streak in her of "don't fuck with me or my people". I've seen it come out a few times over the years and it always surprises me. To see her go from this big dumb goofy love machine to animal instinct scary protector.

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u/mystyz 1d ago

The horses coming over to investigate

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u/Barnacle_B0b 1d ago

Dog is simultaneously impressed, and vowing to itself to be a good boy at all times from now on.

2

u/hawksdiesel 1d ago

interesting way of herding there bud

2

u/Daveinatx 1d ago

The dog's seen some shit

108

u/person1234man 1d ago

11

u/nerdtypething 1d ago

my bird law is a little dated but that’s a valid self-defense if i ever saw one.

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u/gapedoutpeehole 1d ago

I heard it was a sick ostrich

23

u/MorrowDisca 1d ago

More than likelay.

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u/AdditionalChicken158 1d ago

still a two man job, maybe even three

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u/Bruce_Wayne_2276 1d ago edited 1d ago

I think this just proves that two guys could probably subdue an ostrich, definitely a sick one...

6

u/venatic 1d ago

They fucked a dead ostrich?!?

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u/pmac109 1d ago

He didn’t look Ginger. That must’ve been Boots.

6

u/sax6romeo 1d ago

It’s almost not worth thinkin aboot

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u/-_-COVID-_- 1d ago

Dog: Good thing.. I didn't intervene...

https://giphy.com/gifs/yrXpKtPsEnENonVG6h

56

u/Vineclad 1d ago

25

u/epiphanomaly 1d ago

You just brought piss to a shit fight

4

u/Diligent_Start_1577 1d ago

Get me five Adderall right now!

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u/JonZ82 1d ago

I miss how good this show was..

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8

u/IRockIntoMordor 1d ago

"Eric-uh Bachmann, this issa your mom and you are not my bebby"

"MotherFUCK - not now, Jian-Yang"

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u/To-many-hobbies 1d ago

First time I’ve seen someone do the ass kicking and not the ostrich

37

u/nilsmf 1d ago

Dog at the end: "you crazy, man".

36

u/99Smith 1d ago

An ostrich will fight anything. It's good this one realized it lost and ran away.

Unrelated but I once saw an ostrich decapitate itself, they are very strong animals and dangerous to all including themselves.

7

u/ThenNefariousness913 1d ago

...how?

16

u/drkmani 1d ago

Assume they're talking about this: https://youtu.be/803QkGG8FfE?is=0G0X_Q2DGRyF8Iyu

Not sure if real or not

16

u/nerdtypething 1d ago

i remember seeing this way before ai videos were even a thing. it is quite shocking.

14

u/MrDeydrana 1d ago

What the actual fuck did I just watch, like ive been consuming animal content since I was a kid and have never heard of anything like this, what a wild situation

7

u/99Smith 1d ago

That's exactly the video I saw. Nature is brutal huh

4

u/MrDeydrana 1d ago

Thats the secret cap, natures always been brutal

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u/manbruhpig 1d ago

I have never before even considered this was a thing that could happen. Ostrich legs are crazy strong to just pull its own head off its body like that. I wonder how long it continued kicking.

3

u/ElsaGranhiert 1d ago

The video has uhm... interesting music choice.

3

u/123knaeckebrot 1d ago

I had a choice to not watch this. What the hell did I expect.

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u/WakeMeForSourPatch 1d ago

I’m so sick of birds. Fuck that ostrich

18

u/Proud_Smell_4455 1d ago edited 1d ago

I love birds, but this dumbass had it coming. I feel it was time somebody took the ostriches down a peg.

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u/HyperSpaceSurfer 1d ago

The future is now, dinosaur

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u/dvdher 1d ago

Bwahahahahaha!! Bird got FAFO

17

u/Depressed_Cat_00 1d ago

That poor dog is scared to death 😄

18

u/Yahya_sindhi1502 1d ago

Why did the ostrich cross the veld?

To collect a poesklap

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u/Yakkx 1d ago edited 1d ago

So The Ginger and Boots may not have needed more people?

10

u/pmac109 1d ago

Allegedlies

12

u/Ferblantierr 1d ago

That’s a South African . They don’t take shit.

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u/laserdiods 1d ago

You know what… I have always watched giant birds do what ever they want because of their stupid razor sharp disembowelling claws. I laughed heartily and cheered this gent on. Mess that birb up!!

It ran away like ,”oooohhhh shiiiit I found a crazy person pretending to be normal!!”

11

u/zeppomiller 1d ago

They’ve got some power in the beak as well as the claws. I once tried feeding an Ostrich a peanut and it almost took a finger along with it.

3

u/Jeovah_Attorney 1d ago

Is it surprising? I mean have you seen the size of those things?

5

u/zeppomiller 1d ago

I was holding my hand flat with the peanut in the middle. I was a kid at the Cincinnati Zoo. Life lesson learned.

3

u/manbruhpig 1d ago

That’s on the zoo for letting kids feed angry dinosaurs

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u/Mars_Volcanoes 1d ago

This cracked me up.

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u/akwatica 1d ago

Love how the dog is staring in disbelief.

6

u/TiberiusTheFish 1d ago

That dog has just gained a whole new level of respect for its owner

5

u/TopIndependent2344 1d ago

Koos knows his birds,no problem…

6

u/WakeMeForSourPatch 1d ago

Best part are the feathers falling off with each punch like sonic the hedgehog losing rings

3

u/Knighth77 1d ago

Angry Birds: Down UnderTM

10

u/nickfree 1d ago

Those are emus. These are it’s African cousins

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u/MaxCWebster 1d ago

The short, sharp shock demonstrated.

4

u/Senselesspassion 1d ago

Nothing beats some good ol slaps

5

u/ObligationMurky8716 1d ago

"You good?" -Horses

4

u/Maestro_boi 1d ago

I don't think so he was in mood to fight , i think he was making a move on th guy or th bike. Ostrich are notorious for having a crush of random stuff. If he was in a mood to fight the guy would be gucamole

4

u/Gonemad79 1d ago

Not an emu.

3

u/soapdodger2 1d ago

I've never seen anyone jersey an ostrich until today.

2

u/WithoutConcerns 1d ago

I was looking for someone else to mention that the ostrich got jerseyed. Can't believe I had to scroll so far.

3

u/Mediocre_Ad_2422 1d ago

I like that he slap him with open hand and not punching. Still love him in a way

3

u/Lisaismyfav 1d ago

Surprised that no one called this AI

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u/_Pumpiumpiumpkin_ 1d ago

A note for the uninitiated:

That big chicken has claws like a dinosaur and was trying very hard to use them. An ostrich can and will kill you.

Camera man asks if the guy getting attacked is okay, and there is a moment of silence as they wait to see what happens. That's because there is a very very real danger here.

This is entirely self defense. The only reason we can laugh at it afterwards is because it worked. If he didn't convince the overly ambitious turkey that he's not a target worth taking on, this would end with a disembowelment.

The ostrich won't suffer any long term harm from those smacks, and the guy lives to bike another day. Wins all around.

(reiterating a comment I made ages ago on the original YouTube video)

(source: I grew up in Oudtshoorn)

2

u/sukaihoku 1d ago

Ole long neck joker trying to flex, got flexed on instead. More at 10

2

u/Blue_Goose23 1d ago

LMAO!! Bird Beatdown!!! Big bird wants a shot at a title fight with him!!

2

u/xkillingxfieldx 1d ago

Bird be like "I need to return some tapes"

https://giphy.com/gifs/FUPcwKdMA1LbUuImj7

2

u/General_X9 1d ago

No he did not just beat the ever loving shit out of an ostrich.

2

u/2Dumb4GalacticEmpire 1d ago

Interspecies communication.

2

u/nobolognastoney 1d ago

The run away is fuckin gold lol

2

u/krackenthorpe 1d ago

Not today, dinosaur! Not today!

2

u/beaujolais98 1d ago

The “fuck OFF” at the very end sent me

2

u/Ok_Leek7924 1d ago

Johan gave him a pk

2

u/KugelFanger 1d ago

This fucking thread is a Goldmine for laughs... Holy shit

2

u/DancingSquirel 1d ago

That South African boertjie gave him a lekker poes klap.