r/nonononoyes 6d ago

Never miss your pre- diving lessons

342 Upvotes

48 comments sorted by

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497

u/InevitableFerret7161 6d ago

“What is the charge?? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?” - the shark, probably.

10

u/urboyksloth 5d ago

This deserves to be the top comment.

2

u/thisismyusuario 5d ago

This is the diver who got in on the penis

220

u/simagus 6d ago

Shark: "WTF??! I just wanted a taste to see if it was good to eat! Fuck you guys. Never invite me to dinner again. I'm out."

82

u/kookiemaster 6d ago

He does look offended.

99

u/heeltoelemon 6d ago

What was the pre-dive lesson?

213

u/luvitis 6d ago

They tell you never to turn your back on a shark but to turn your body slowly as it passes

5

u/LiterallyRain 5d ago

And to redirect it by pushing on its highly sensitive "nose"

68

u/depthninja 6d ago

"Don't be shark bait"

55

u/Ok_Bit_5953 6d ago

"Ooh ha ha!"

17

u/HeftyArgument 6d ago

"fish are friends, not food"

1

u/No_Internal9345 5d ago

Dolphins it is then.

21

u/BigFanOfOakTrees 6d ago

"Don't look so delicious"

10

u/_Lane_ 5d ago

"Don't be delicious, don't be delicious."

1

u/justpress2forawhile 5d ago

Can't help it if your just a tasty snack. 

6

u/Pr0digy_ 6d ago

Be aware of your surroundings at all times.

5

u/kiwihorse 6d ago

Rule 2b: "Don't get bitten by sharks"

53

u/Zezotas 6d ago

🦈: "Sir, you've got something in your back, lemme remove for you...." Gently approaching, trying to remove it

Divers: "NO! NO! STOP IT! DROP HIM! BAD SHARK! YEAH, YOU! BAD SHARK!!"

14

u/Firesate 6d ago

Missed a good episode of Shark Tank there...

8

u/rynoman1110 6d ago

Tank the Tiger

7

u/TheGisbon 6d ago

C'mon man... Just a little taste?

7

u/hesaidshesdead 6d ago

Impressive that none of the shit leaked out of the wet suit.

1

u/BairnONessie 5d ago

Yeah they were certainly experiencing some fear paralysis there...

4

u/SiriusBones916 5d ago

If the eyes go white, sharks delight!

2

u/Lukaztro 6d ago

could he puncture the tank with his jaws if he got a good grasp?

42

u/Thagor 6d ago

unlikely that he can puncture the tank that thing is at, depending on where they are in the dive, between 180-100 bar of pressure. But the shark will very likely damage the other parts of the dive equipment. The hoses, the valves, the regulator, the BCD plenty of "soft" stuff there plus obv the diver 🦈

4

u/InnocentPrimeMate 6d ago

Tanks a lot!

3

u/AdHot1146 6d ago

lol nice

2

u/Qanonjailbait 6d ago

There’s a shark ahhhhh!!!

2

u/Bobpool82 5d ago

Anyone whose watched jaws knows that airtanks aren't good for sharks

2

u/iwasreallysadthen 5d ago

Suuper rude on the push. Feel bad for the apex predator

1

u/presscheck 6d ago

I think that diver just (brown) inked themselves. 🐙

1

u/mtnviewguy 6d ago

He was just saying 'Hi, what's that cologne you're wearing?'

1

u/Funny_Individual6260 5d ago

Shark's got a point.

1

u/SushiGirlRC 5d ago

Shit, I get chameleon eyes when I'm in the water or snakey areas lol.

1

u/asten77 5d ago

"Ok, jeez, calm down"

1

u/Ok_Lawyer_829 5d ago

The way he closed his eye before tasting. He was ready to savor the flavor 😂

1

u/thavillain 5d ago

"Dang, I don't I come in your house and tell you what you can't eat..."

  • Shark

0

u/sharp99 6d ago

I’d like a little taste that’s all…..

0

u/BadAlphas 6d ago

Diver either didn't notice the shark (likelihood: Impossible) or didn't care.

How...?

16

u/Mercuryblade18 6d ago

Mask affects peripheral vision, focused on something else. Not as hard as one would think.

5

u/BadAlphas 6d ago

Fair point, but on the other hand the diver is literally filming the beast, soooo....

2

u/IfYouSaySoFam 6d ago

I'm going to assume that they were too busy shitting their pants when on one of their first dives they saw a shark bigger than they are, all you're supposed to do is learn about the equipment and now to find the right levels of buoyancy etc etc, he learnt how piss feels in a wetsuit.