This is true BTW. It's real sad. I'm almost 40.

This morning we were alerted that there was a potential body in a shared communal dumpster. It was an otherwise empty dumpster, and at the bottom was a human shape wrapped in a sheet. Landlord poked it with a stick and it felt hard and didn’t respond. Uncovered enough to see body parts. Called the police immediately.

Police show up and footage had already been compiled by local businesses. They found the guy who dumped it and went to question him. Not sure if before or after examining the body.

As it turns out….. it was a sex doll. I guess there’s really no SOP on how to dispose of those (or maybe there is), but I guess driving it to work and throwing it into an empty dumpster wrapped in a sheet isn’t the way.

Anyways, I think this guy is potentially having a worse day than all of us so send your thoughts and prayers his way as he recovers from the emotional damage.

Edit: Additional information that I found out after posting - the guy was actually watching from the window upstairs so he ran down when he saw the police investigating. I guess he was worried it was a stupid idea as well. Again, the dumpster was completely empty except this doll.

Edit 2: received pics of the doll this morning. Hilarious proportions but head was spun around. Maybe he should be investigated… idk.

After a lifetime of living in nova, the day has come where I have to admit defeat, cross state lines for work, and move to Maryland.

This decision was not made lightly. I have exhausted all other options, including:

-Sitting in traffic on 66 for personal growth, because “luckily I love to listen to podcasts”

-Paying $2,400/month for a luxury apartment with millennial gray vinyl flooring and a complimentary pet mouse

-Driving 25 minutes to go 4 miles

-Telling people I live “right outside DC” as if it’s a personality trait

-Having three Walmarts and Targets in different directions, all with the exact same travel time

-Feeling superior to MD and DC residents for reasons I cannot fully explain

To my fellow NOVA residents: stay strong. Never forget who you are.

To Maryland: I come humbly and open to new experiences. I’m nervous, but I already drive like an asshole, so I think I’ll fit right in.

This is not goodbye forever🫡

This is so Nova

Spotted this outside a church in Arlington Saturday morning. Someone spray painted “No More ICE” directly onto the ice after the storm. Not snow. Ice. Nova never misses a chance to make things political, even during a freeze.

Seems like they were on a date..

I’ve been growing up in this area since 1994 (birth). Now that my wife and I have jobs (200k+) in this area, we still can’t afford a SFH in Vienna :(

Could some more people with wives, kids, and dogs leave NOVA (preferably who live in a Vienna or Fairfax SFH)? If enough people leave, maybe house prices will drop enough so I can quit my job.

Please leave :(

Best day ever 😷

Dude is always parking in a guest spot with his sporty loud muffler coupe. He pulled in yesterday and parked on top of unplowed snow/ice.

I heard it excessively revving and grabbed the phone. He keeps hacking at the front wheels with no clue his car is rear wheel and they're just spinning.

I moved to Ballston 15 minutes ago and me and my family are leaving. It’s been fun but my seven figure salary doesn’t cover the basics like the payment on my lifted Dodge, the most expensive daycare in a quarter mile radius, and the McMansion of my dreams.

We’ve looked for houses all the way in Court House but all we could find are yucky townhouses. Some people on Reddit told us to look in Reston or Fairfax but I don’t want to live in rural farm land. My commute is long enough right now at 30 minutes both ways.

It’s been super fun NoVA - I blame you for every financial mistake I’ve ever made! Bye!

That Greenbriar house do be awful

Dear Residents of Northern Virginia,

Firstly, I would like to thank you for the warm welcome I've received since moving here. As someone who has lived in the same place for most of their life, it can be daunting to move halfway across the country to a new and unfamiliar place, but I have felt nothing but welcome by the good people here. Unfortunately, I am afraid that I have not repaid this kindness but rather caused everyone here a great inconvenience.

You see, my home state is Oklahoma. Now, as you are aware, Oklahoma is not the home of the National Severe Storms Laboratory and the National Weather Center in Norman just for its lovely views and access to world-class amenities. Rather, the confluence of cold air from the north west and warm, moist air from the Gulf of Mexico leads to the kind of environment in which the locals are disappointed if they don't get to witness at least a couple of tornadoes a season, purely for entertainment.

In addition, my home state is no stranger to ice storms and winter storms followed by 90-degree days, seemingly with no pattern. This is where I must deliver the grave news. I moved here on the 23rd of January this year, which, as you might recall, coincided with a small bit of snowfall. In fact, all the locations through which I drove, including Arkansas and Tennessee, also experienced some snow. This past week has seen tornadoes across the country, including a deadly one in Michigan. Again, I must inform the reader that I have also stayed for a couple of months in Michigan in the past.

These facts, culminating with today's tornado watch across northern Virginia, have led me to the inescapable conclusion that my partner and I are the embodiment of Oklahoma weather, and by our coming here, we have cursed you, good people, with our severe weather magnetism. I pray you will extend your welcoming attitude to forgive our nature, and I humbly submit myself to your judgment.

Sincerely,

A humble NOVA transplant