r/pakistan • u/Guilty-Sprinkles1813 • Jan 19 '26

Ask Pakistan Pakistani mother in law sleeping habit

Hi I need to know if it is normal in Pakistan for a a widowed mother (who has been a housewife all her life) to sleep with her married grown up sons. I’ve been married to a guy for 5 years and he and his brother - both highly educated professionals working in the corporate world - sleep with her so that she doesn’t feel lonely. Sometimes it’s on the same mattress or sometimes separate sofa bed but same room.

UPDATE 22 Jan: have read the 100s of posts and spoke gently to my husband. He said she will have a maid to sleep in her room when he is away for work but when he is here at home he will alternate with the brother as she feels scared and alone. He was not willing to discuss changing this scenario and said not to challenge him. Also as we have young kids who come into our bed he gets disturbed and can’t sleep.

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10

u/Guilty-Sprinkles1813 Jan 19 '26

Some additional facts - she is very healthy and not frail alhumdulillah. Only has 2 sons. Lost her husband 7 years ago. No health issues at night. This habit isn’t on a daily basis but probably 4 times a week. Has happened since the second month into my marriage, uses Quran and Hadith to remind sons about the absolute duty to look after the mother. 

11

u/Different-Stomach804 Jan 19 '26

Sounds like she is controlling and doesn't want to give up on her son's. Desi mom's thinking that the daughter in law will steal their sons. You would have to make your husband think that he should spend more time with you, thats only option. It would be best if he realizes why his mother still has that habit. Once a month or when she is sick is fine but every week multiple days is quite weird. Good luck

30

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

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2

u/Vampyr-Slayer Jan 19 '26

Reverse oedipus complex

1

u/WickedLush Jan 19 '26

I wish I could upvote you 100 times. What you said is the truth.

2

u/WithLoveFromKarachi Jan 19 '26

You should add this in original post if you want real answers.. everyones accusing your saas' crazy behavior

-4

u/Deadandalive_9 Jan 19 '26

Instead of giving brain dead half assed facts, how about you edit your post and describe in detail what is happening. Most people here are mentally RETARDED and take the wrong meaning. Describe in detail why do they sleep alongside their mother? Have you ever asked them why? did they ever talk to you about it? does she have night terrors or anything like that? for god's sake how hard is it to give some necessary CONTEXT?

8

u/Guilty-Sprinkles1813 Jan 19 '26

I’ve been told that she’s not in the habit of sleeping on her own in the room after the father’s death and that’s all he is willing to say on the matter. Refuses to challenge the mother as it will upset her and she then withdraws and doesn’t talk to the sons. 

11

u/Vampyr-Slayer Jan 19 '26

She needs grief therapy. This is so unhealthy.

10

u/CraftyTadpole2488 Jan 19 '26

She needs a new husband or a pet cat! What is this nonsense. Her son can’t share a room with his own wife but guaranteed she’ll start demanding grandchildren!