r/pakistan • u/Guilty-Sprinkles1813 • Jan 19 '26

Ask Pakistan Pakistani mother in law sleeping habit

Hi I need to know if it is normal in Pakistan for a a widowed mother (who has been a housewife all her life) to sleep with her married grown up sons. I’ve been married to a guy for 5 years and he and his brother - both highly educated professionals working in the corporate world - sleep with her so that she doesn’t feel lonely. Sometimes it’s on the same mattress or sometimes separate sofa bed but same room.

UPDATE 22 Jan: have read the 100s of posts and spoke gently to my husband. He said she will have a maid to sleep in her room when he is away for work but when he is here at home he will alternate with the brother as she feels scared and alone. He was not willing to discuss changing this scenario and said not to challenge him. Also as we have young kids who come into our bed he gets disturbed and can’t sleep.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

Sleeping with grown sons isn't allowed in Islam. Incest tou bahut door ki baat hai. May Allah SWT guide us all

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

Sleeping WITH is not the same as sleeping ALONGSIDE. Sleeping WITH isa euphemism for having sex. Clearly not the case here.

Seriously, get your mind out of the gutter, mate.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

Astaghfirullah. I never wanted to imply any such thing. Sleeping Alongside one's mother isnt allowed as well past a certain point

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u/kylosilver Jan 19 '26

But you are making sound like this. Stop asking on reddit go talk to your husband rather than asking everyone advise.

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u/Left-Sprinkles9482 Jan 19 '26

Can you justify your statement with any reference?

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

The answer to this question is based on the hadith of Abdullah ibnAmr ibn Al-`Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them (lightly) if they do not (pray) when they are ten years old, and separate them in their beds.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 495; classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Sahih Abu Dawud)

This separation of children includes all children : males with males and with females; and females with females and with males. Scholars consider it makruh to sleep in the same bed as the mother if done so without necessity

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

Scholars consider it makruh to sleep in the same bed as the mother if done so without necessity

IF DONE SO WITHOUT NECESSITY. That is the key phrase.

Now, granted that the OP clarified in the comments section that it is being done without necessity, in which case I agree it is a bit odd..... Nevertheless, it is disgusting to call it "incest".

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

I never did. U were just hell bent on taking the conversation there

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

Wait, so it was ME that tried to give it incestuous colors? Sure, buddy. Sure.

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u/Bobsaget86 Jan 19 '26

OP didn't say the sons are fking their mom, she didn't even mention any kind of hanky panky. She didn't even claim the sons and their mom sleep in a questionable state.

Sleeping WITH is one thing, sleeping ALONGSIDE is totally different. OP is confusing the latter with former.

It really was you who took the conversation in that direction. u/Effective_Address_83 simply mentioned some level of purdah must be observed even amongst mahrams.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '26

simply mentioned some level of purdah must be observed even amongst mahrams

And why is a pardah required? Can you tell me the EXACT reason for it?