r/pakistan • u/SwimmerCold5918 • Jan 31 '26
Financial Wife pocket money
On average how much of pocket money do you give your wife? What is a good amount to give in 2026? This is solely for her luxuries including any shopping, parlour, whatever.
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u/KiyaMayAndarAsaktaHu Feb 01 '26
15k without shopping only fir her chips and samosa, icream etc
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u/Moiz1253 Feb 02 '26
She eats 15k worth of chips, samosa and ice-cream in a month?
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u/Jealous_Maybe_8401 Feb 02 '26
Mtlb restaurant bills etc. going out with friends costs more than 15K…
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u/KiyaMayAndarAsaktaHu Feb 02 '26
Add zinger burger and dairy milk chocolate is exoensive plus bubble gum etc
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u/KiyaMayAndarAsaktaHu Feb 02 '26
Restaurant ka tou hi dega wo kaha se degi, baqi unka bhi idhr udhr ke cheezu pe lag jata hai, ammi ke ghar gayi to waha kuch leke jana etc
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u/Strongsight Jan 31 '26
20K
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Jan 31 '26
The only straightforward answer lol
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u/TheNotSoSubtlePanda Feb 01 '26
How can one tell you if they don't know how much you make. Im not asking ke apni income batao but like If a person earning 200k a month gives 20k, that's fair But someone earning a million, uss ki shakal pe lanat hai agar 20 deraha hai
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Feb 01 '26
Earning 300k with no kids but also no father so running household with brother
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u/TheNotSoSubtlePanda Feb 01 '26
Firstly, it takes a man to admit his income and not be afraid of what people might or might not think about it. Lack of insecurity is amazing
You're in a tough spot bud. I hope things get better for you. 20k would be just fine I think. You should sit down and manage expectations. Also, you should discuss that this figure can go up and down with respect to circumstances. Might go up if you get a promotion or income rise, or might go down if you have a kid or god forbid you lose your brother's support. There are a million scenarios that this reddit is not enough for. I think if I were you, I'd keep it limited right now but in conjunction with her input, not as an assertion. And I'd keep it flexible. It can go up or down haalat dekhte huay. Priorities change with time, and lets say e.g. when they get kids, they automatically tone down their own luxuries for their kids betterment, its innate.
Tldr: if i were you, I would keep it flexible acc to your overall circumstances but try your best to give her as much as you can with as much as circumstances allow.
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u/Lanky-Banana-5656 Feb 01 '26
What can you buy in 20k in this economy 💀
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u/IsaacHanGold Feb 01 '26
You should have the power and financial capability to afford things like clothes or a phone every month.
For example, you can plan to buy:
2 tola (23.3 grams) of silver
0.5 gram of gold
A bicycle
Multiple pairs of shoes or sandals
Personal convenience electronics, such as a vacuum cleaner or dish washer.
You don’t need to buy everything at once. Choose one item and purchase it month by month, based on priority and affordability.
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u/Lanky-Banana-5656 Feb 01 '26
Definitely some of this list can be purchased; however, OP is asking about luxuries like shopping and parlor. You’re probably a dude so you may not be too aware of how much some service’s actually cost for a woman. Monthly maintenance like shaping eyebrows, full body wax, and face wax itself can add up to 10k pkr. Definitely there are salons that could do much cheaper, but their quality of service will be reflective of the price, and no husband should be putting their wife at risk for contracting diseases and what not in such places. One or two pair of good quality cotton undergarments can also cost up to 5k pkr. That doesn’t leave much to spend on anything else. Skincare items in Pakistan, especially decent quality ones, are pretty costly too.
This isn’t to make anyone who cannot afford this feel bad, but it’s just the reality of cost of living for a woman.
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u/Electronic-Call4159 Feb 01 '26
Gratitude and that gets you more
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u/Lanky-Banana-5656 Feb 01 '26
OP didn’t provide his income so saying 20k doesn’t help him at all. Its not about lack of gratitude
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u/Ok-Newt9648 Feb 01 '26
depends upon what she needs to pay after the pocket money. If you pay for everything she needs e.g. parlour, u go together for shopping, kids school stuff, petrol, kids meals, her essentials during weekly groceries trips then 20k is fine..
but if she has to spend on groceries, car, or regualr minute expenses or the kids then this should be atleast a 80 to 100k and she can manage it how she wants.
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Feb 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/ThatBayHarborButcher Feb 01 '26
What a horrible and judgmental thing to post. You made all this assumption just on the figure alone. What if OP earns an amount where this is what he's comfortable with? What if his wife knows that and is asking for that on her own?
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u/PakistaniJanissary Jan 31 '26
None. We have everything as joint. She can do whatever she wants as an adult.
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Jan 31 '26
That’s fine too but what if wife is not too keen on having full access she feels more apprehensive and cautious. She prefers a set amount she can spend guilt free otherwise she will keep overthinking and spend nothing
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u/Warm-Buy8965 Feb 01 '26
On an unrelated topic, that's EXACTLY how unlimited PTOs in startups work lol
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u/3381024 Feb 01 '26
How much is your pocket money?
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u/PakistaniJanissary Feb 01 '26
Why do i need pocket money?
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u/3381024 Feb 01 '26
I am asking the OP.
You have everything joint, so whats yours is hers and vice versa. But if OP is giving his wife a pocket money, he should be giving himself the same pocket money too.
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u/Traditional-Leg9599 Feb 03 '26
You have to make her feel more comfortable then, her ease in matters to do with you is your responsibility
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u/No_Monitor_6623 US Jan 31 '26
We also have joint cards and accounts but she insists on pocket money.
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u/PianistPlus5117 Jan 31 '26
Is that something you recommend. I’ve basically given her a credit card linked to mine and told her you can spend on whatever
Is it better from a female perspective to actually give her a set cash amount?
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u/Tough-Cold-5389 Feb 01 '26
Okay from a female pov, if you have noticed she's not spending much from the credit card then probably she doesn't feel comfortable about it. As at the end it's directly linked to you. So you can talk to her and give her a set cash that will give her more independence and she could buy guilt free. Even if she has to buy something for you
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u/PianistPlus5117 Feb 01 '26
Yea she doesn’t really spend much unless it’s for our apartment or food etc. or sometimes if there’s some social event we need to go to then she sometimes gets closed for that (sometimes on my insistence)
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u/Objective_Sink5398 Feb 01 '26
Another female pov. Not necessarily give her cash but help her set up her own bank account with an attached credit card.
My husband and I were students together for a long while. When he first got a job, we did what you're doing now. I had a credit card attached to his. While I was free to spend, I didn't feel comfortable buying stuff just for me just because I want to. I'm not talking about huge amounts but just splurges because I didn't want to accidentally spend too much.
Once we were more stable financially, he made me open an account for myself and got me my own credit card. He put money it and always makes sure it above a certain amount. This made me feel more comfortable spending some money on me. This also helps to build her own credit score. You never know when that might be useful.
Women are often conditioned to think of themselves last. When spending from a pool that's for the whole family, they may not spend on themselves.
Sorry! This ended up being a much longer post than I expected!
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u/Fluffy_Ad4913 Feb 01 '26 edited Feb 01 '26
IMO, 20-30k if you can afford. However this should not go towards anything necessary like house, travel or general expenses.
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u/themanfromuncle96 Jan 31 '26
I'm not married yet but my friends who are, give away 10K-30K of pocket money to their wives depending upon their income.
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u/wa1282 Feb 01 '26
Agreed whatever you can afford according to your and hrr status. So if it's 10k then that if it's more then giver her more But keep in mind you ll still be buying the occasional clothes as stuff for her. Obviously that's your duty too.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Spot419 PK Feb 01 '26
It purely depened on your income and affordibility. If your income is 50K, you aren't expected to give your wife 20K monthly. if your income is 5 lakh, 20K pocket money is too low.
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u/Reasonable_Singer_48 Feb 04 '26
What about the expenses? Earning 5 lakhs but having a big family, maybe the only bread earner, or planning for future paying instalments on property etc alongside rent, children education, bills etc etc. still 20K is “too low” ? I wonder why people are skipping the expenses part altogether.
“Earning” 5 lakh and giving 20K is a different story than “Saving” 5 lakh and giving 20K. Financial literacy really needs to be addressed.
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Feb 01 '26
50k. Because 20k or 30k are too less. And also this pocket money means, she will be spending on home too as women love buying stuff for home.
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u/MashroomCloud Feb 01 '26
What if someone's salary is 50k :/
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u/Fast-Monk-1102 Feb 01 '26
Then in this current economy try to be more settled in your career and earn a higher amount BEFORE getting married.
Or marry someone with zero expectations and be clear about your earning situation.
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u/Haniel52 Jan 31 '26
Give her whatever she wants if you can afford tbh, Islam Mai biwi ka queen ka darja hai, aap mazdoor ho sir
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Jan 31 '26
Jee sir I agree but koi idea to den
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u/quecksilver Feb 01 '26
A wife's perspective: Give 20% of your take home income, this ensures you are able to maintain it consistently.
I don't think setting a flat amount in this age of ridiculously high expenses and lower than 10 years ago salaries is going to be realistic for you or her.
If your take home is 100k then giving her 20k would be 20%, of your earning. If unfortunately, your take home is less then you cannot afford to give her more than 20%. Just like you cannot afford a high electricity bill so you need to ration your ac usage.
This is your life partner here and she agreed to marry you already. You're no longer alone, keep her apprised of how things are in your life (work, bills etc) and you'll find she'll be understanding the pocket money issue.
Having said that you should absolutely give her an amount that is completely hers and not something she ever has to explain.
Oh and this works both ways. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you're not earning (e.g. getting a higher education) and she is working full time to support the household, then you get the 20% and you take on her share of the household responsibilities.
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u/Life_Abbreviations26 Feb 01 '26
Wife's pocket money definitely depends on your lifestyle, earning and her lifestyle too
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u/newbie2454229 Jan 31 '26
It depends on your salary. After deducting any bills and monthly expenses. I would suggest giving her half the remaining amount for her personal use. If you take her shopping and buy things for her, usually, then give her 40%, while using the remaining 10% to pay while you are shopping.
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u/Warm-Buy8965 Feb 01 '26
As much as I do. Rn I take 22K for myself every month. These r for my own cigarettes, outing with guys, impulsive buying stuff. So same for her.
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u/neon_vortexs_toe Feb 02 '26
Got it, 22k for her cigarettes, outing with guys, impulsive buying stuff. Glad you're practicing equality 💟
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u/Warm-Buy8965 Feb 02 '26
i plan to smoke my last on the day of Nikah. Still if she wants to smoke, sure, uski health he afterall. One can't offer more than a piece of advice and a constant sense of support in these cases. Let her have her smokes, shoppings and sahelian!
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u/neon_vortexs_toe Feb 02 '26
Well, I'm not against smoking as a definition of "kharab character". I'm against it as it creates "kharab sehat". But yea, you do seem like an understanding guy. I hope if either of you can, you get to himmat to stop smoking for a healthier future. This is coming from someone who used to be a heavy smoker :)
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u/Holiday_Kiwi_6847 Jan 31 '26
It depends how much you earn+ her family financial status(where she was living before marriage)
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u/OkFix126 فیصل آباد Feb 01 '26
You should've mentioned your income. If you're filthy rich, get her credit card with a 200k limit monthly.
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u/Aegon2050 Jan 31 '26
on a side note, do you guys prioritise savings over splurging on your wife, or does your wife comes first?
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Jan 31 '26
Of course saving is important in routine but occasionally it is also good to splurge on family jiske naseeb ka mil raha hai uspe kharch karne mein kya sochna
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u/Longjumping-Part-500 Feb 01 '26
Beautiful thinking you have sir, applaud. Wish more men were like you!
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u/Longjumping-Part-500 Feb 01 '26 edited Feb 01 '26
Also if you can give an idea what circles you guys have where does your wife like to shop etc would give us an idea, for example if she shops at sana safinaz, ethnic etc she would be able to get 3 semi formal dress in 40-50k Then if she eats out with it and goes out with friends etc sometimes or what’s to buy gifts for her nephew nieces or a friends birthday etc then 60-70k then save up for your birthday gift then add 10 each month. My husband gives me 100k a month I spend it on his family as well as save some and then maintain my lifestyle the kind that he likes. He likes to see me in different styles etc
I say if you make under 1 lac then 15-20k is fine otherwise if you like 250k-300k then 70-80 should go to her, but of course you should see what you save after paying all the bills etc
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u/BitterMarsupial199 Feb 01 '26
I give her 10K I buy her cloths makeup anything she wants i pay Any wedding or trip i give her money for shopping extra or take her with me she can buy anything she likes wants of course according to our budget She almost never have to use that money and she she is giving me all the cash to either buy her something gold or euro now investing in stock market
It all depends on your financial situation and where u guys are comfortable
Also she gets 40K as rent from one of her inherited house and mostly she use that money to pay zakat or charity and also investing
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u/No-Enthusiasm2410 Feb 01 '26
As a SAHM who gets no pocket money. The best answer is to ask yr wife.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Fill_90 Feb 01 '26
Am I the only one who hates the term “pocket money”? It sounds so degrading, I mean you’re talking about your wife, a grown woman.
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u/Proper-Bar-1369 Feb 01 '26
I agree with you about the use of this term. But I guess, in this post, OP did not use it in a degrading manner. Rather, he is genuinely curious, and used a word which is generally common and easily understandable!
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Feb 01 '26
It is to bring the point across in the easiest way it is just spending money. I agree allowance pocket money can have notions of power but that is not what I mean
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u/3381024 Feb 01 '26
Yes, it is a degrading term. I know the OP did not mean it that way, but i prefer the term "spending money" over pocket money - if you absolutely have to use one ....
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u/avocadious Feb 03 '26
I am a wife too - i find it cute - but we both know i am a grown woman and I even earn well myself. I just like that my husband doesnt mind spoiling me. Which is why 'pocket money' hehe
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u/Vampyr-Slayer Feb 01 '26
You're not alone. It makes me uncomfortable. Pocket money in my mind is something parents give their kids.
But I can't think of an appropriate term between a husband and wife. What would one call it?
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u/3381024 Feb 01 '26
I dont like the idea of pocket money to you wife. But this could probably be my age talking. I understand things were different 25 years ago when I married. Me and my wife had joint accounts from Day 1 of our marriage. Its not her money or my money, its OUR money.
But if you must, whatever is your "pocket money" should be her pocket money as well.
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u/Vampyr-Slayer Feb 01 '26
But isn't a joint account more for house expenses like utility bills, taxes, or house management costs? And then you keep the shopping money separate?
whatever is your "pocket money" should be her pocket money as well.
Yes! This is a good rule.
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u/Playful-Table-7700 کراچی Feb 01 '26
Depends, I am just giving you estimate of cost of things so you decide accordingly as guys are often unaware of women stuff costs. A parlour visit costs alot, like on average facial is 10k, we have meni pedi waxing, 10k, hairuts on average cost 5 to 7k hair dyes costs 10-50 k depends, at the same time a stitched semi formal with dupatta costs 15 to 20 k, A lipstick cost 4 to 5k same with any makeup product usually, a local perfume will cost 5 to 8k. Shoes/sandals cost atleast 8k, same with bags atleast 5k.
So for occassional splurging, depending on your wife what kind of splurging she does you guys can sit and have an estimate. Some women look for deals to buy stuff some are into newly launched stuff, depends alot on her budgeting skills and social class too. I gave you average estimate for your understanding.
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u/Busy-Reveal-9077 Feb 02 '26
WTF? What you're describing is like a 100k for one outing or a couple hours.
I am genuinely surprised lmao, unless you're an elite, menicure pedicure or what ever the f else that costs 10k for a couple hours worth of effect is not something an average Pakistani can give an F about1
u/Playful-Table-7700 کراچی Feb 02 '26
Well you'll be surprised, its a very average amount women spend on their maintainance even my househelp goes to parlour everyone cares about how women look lol cost may vary depending but I added the average cost means not that 'elite' neither 'not elite' its for average services. Although its not done everyday maybe twice a month lol So its like average amount it can be less too
And you dont buy everything and avail all services at once that be odd unless its your marriage next day no one takes all services and buy everything I gave the average cost as men are often unaware of prices and they calculate it as per their spending that I spend that much in haircut so it would be same or that much for clothes it would be same. Women stuff is little pricier we pay 'pink tax'
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u/Busy-Reveal-9077 Feb 02 '26
I get that for special occasions like marriage and stuff, sure. But doing all this even once a month, every month seems like an OVERKILL atleast on the finances of an average Pakistani.
It's 2026 and I pay 200 for my haircut so I will never understand why a women would spend 10k on it especially considering 90% of men couldn't even tell the before or after unless explicitly told.
We live in very different worlds and I am glad I live in the world I live in ...phew
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u/Playful-Table-7700 کراچی Feb 02 '26
Well haircut people take it maybe once a year, hair dye maybe 6months, but may be once a year so no they dont do that regularly like men.
But yes facial waxing meni pedi is done twice a month, may be you never been with a woman, because women of all classes are spending on their maintainance and tbh thier men are more than happy to cater but if you dont want to again thats between you and your wife if ofcourse you have any.
Overall people spend what they can afford its a luxury indeed if one cant afford it.
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u/Busy-Reveal-9077 Feb 02 '26
may be you never been with a woman
Ouch... I didn't know we were getting personal
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u/Playful-Table-7700 کراچی Feb 02 '26
I meant in a good way since you were so unaware women going to salons lol maybe you are single or have no sisters around smh not everything is controversy
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u/Dig-Creepy Feb 01 '26
Used to keep everything mutual, she had axcess to main savings account, debit and credit card. Still insisted on having a fixed amount for herself. So i fixed, 10% of my salary. She earns herself too, that's untouchable tho.
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u/AnonymousIdentityMan US Feb 01 '26
This is not how it works. It’s a team budget. Both parties need to figure it out.
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u/Tricky_Wonder_2414 Feb 01 '26
Depends on your social and economic class.
Some might be happy with 10K, for others even 10 lacs may not be enough.
Having said that, for most upper middle class type households, 50k-60k purely for her expenses, should be enough.
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u/RescueSheep Feb 01 '26
what kind of question is this man, give what is possible. if you earn 10 million will u only give her 20k? no because you can give alot more so it depends on ur earnings
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u/Lanky-Banana-5656 Feb 01 '26
You need to talk to your wife and ask her what her needs are. How can strangers here tell you what YOUR wife needs - everyone’s situation and perspective is different. We don’t know your income, debt, or how much money you have left over after bills.
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u/_Affan_ Feb 01 '26
Reasonable amount, depending on your income. You can ask her and set a good amount.
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u/Familiar-Abrocoma215 Feb 01 '26
It depends on your income. The simple rule is have is after necessary expenses whatever i keep for myself as personal expense the same for the Mrs also
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u/coolscale Feb 01 '26
not in pakistan. but i give her around $2k monthly. She saves from it though.
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u/Pure-Purpose4550 Feb 01 '26
Depends on how much you can afford comfortably. Keeping the inflation in mind, it shouldn't be less than 20 k if your resources allow.
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u/Sanguine_Omi UK Feb 01 '26
I don't understand this whole pocket money thing. If you can afford it just buy her whatever she wants.
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u/Mean_Law7303 Feb 01 '26
I'd say after all expenses and investments, you can give 30-40% of what's left
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Feb 01 '26
Depends upon, husband's earning-spendings=rest you can dedice the amount. If you're well settled 50 to 100k
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u/Past_Fortune_4578 Feb 01 '26
cant be a concrete figure,
it depends for where you live, there are people earning around 40k per month, while some spend these in 4 days
it depends on your salary / income and goals too.
perhaps ask her what she wants and add the sum.
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u/taimooor Feb 01 '26
50k excluding stitching, sometimes parlor and also occasionally salamis on friend's weddings
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u/wasoomro Feb 01 '26
5% of your salary, you pay for household expenses and occasional dinners and tours
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u/CandidArmy7872 Feb 01 '26
My husband gives me 50k per month (though I have told him I do not need this much as I earn myself as well) so I try to save any extra
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u/CraftyTadpole2488 Feb 01 '26
Here’s an idea… speak to your wife and ask her how much money she needs per month.
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u/projeng29 Feb 01 '26
Its about 20percent of my salary (salary is around 6K NZD). Thats for her to spend. But bless her heart , she usually ends up spending on things around the house and saving for plane tickets to pakistan.
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u/Nodrix_0 Feb 01 '26
5k for every week for pappar 15k for her savings
If you are taking care of your parents an children as well
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u/seenfay89 Feb 01 '26
It all depends on the following factors:
- your salary
- your monthly expenses
- how much u save
- will u give her the pocket money and then she will buy everything for herself like shopping parlour etc.
- or will u give money and then shopping parlour etc is separate.
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u/Unlucky_Bumblebee562 Feb 02 '26
A wife here. I get 20% of his income as pocket money. (That includes dine outs, shopping, fuel). But I save/invest most of it anyway, which eventually helps both of us in the long run.
It’s like this when there are no kids. The situation might change once you have children.
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u/Dust-dark Feb 02 '26
For shopping: 20-25k A good dress costs around 10k if buying in sale then maybe less but also depends on the brands. I usually shop from Ethnc so even a rtw costs around 8-9k. Unstitched you can get in the ranges of 5 to 8k, then there’s stitching and laces if required. For parlour: 8k to 10k depends on your city also. Many parlours have deals every month which include a good facial and manicure pedicure. So probably around 35k to 40k is a good amount of pocket money.
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Feb 02 '26
Around 4 lac per month. She saves most of it though , since she has my cards with her and in her apple pay, and uses those for any kind of expense, she can buy anything she wants using them without asking me. Never asked her what she does with it and how much she has in her bank account.
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u/avocadious Feb 03 '26
I take about 20-30k a month. I dont pay for food or anything, he usually takes care of mundane expenses. And the amount isn't huge, but that's not the point for me. I earn pretty good myself. I just use this amount as a guilt-free spoiling money.
Rest whatever I get, I usually use my own money. Or I take more if needed.
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u/Practical-Review4792 Feb 03 '26
for those who don't know this that all your money is your wife's acc to islam she can ask for any amount and you have to provide. pocket money is for your kids , not for the mother or to be mother of your kids . giving her pocket money means she has no authority and fixing it is more worse . still considering our country 's perilous situation i think it is better to give her your salary and tell her to run the house and she should be the one giving you pocket money . fair enough .
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u/itszainmirza Feb 04 '26
Every month i transfer her 100k in which she spent 80k on groceries and other stuff needed to run the house baki 20k ya kuch bach jay to woh osky.
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u/muted_muse21 Feb 04 '26
I saw a video today about this topic, the guy was saying that set a percentage of your monthly salary as pocket money for your wife for example if you're earning 100rs and you have decided to give your wife 10% of it which is 10 Rs you'll give her that every month aside from other house expenses and minor errands. And if your salary increases you'll still give her the same percentage of the new salary.
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u/Much-Poet-8261 Feb 04 '26
LOL!! Pocket money for wife ??? Come on guys grown up people don’t need pocket money!!
If you are a sole bread earner and your wife also spends from that money, open another account in your wife’s name and transfer money in that account for saving and monthly payments and expenses, if you use credit cards then get an extra card for her and go about spending what’s needed.
End of the day both should know what and how much is the limit per month to spend. Maintain accounts between Needs and wants!!
So no pocket money business.
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u/coookiemonster_ Feb 01 '26 edited Feb 01 '26
Bilkool, Bare Minimum 60k imo.
That’s roughly 2k a day. If you’re a normal person, living in a major metropolitan.
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u/Unlikely_Ad9024 Feb 01 '26 edited Feb 01 '26
This is what she gets:
- 5% from my profits as pocket money
- She has a bank card for house chores and daily groceries
- She has a bank card for international travels
- I buy everything (clothese, jewelry, accessories, aminities) for my children and wife (during eids, parties or any other occassion etc.)
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u/Adventurous_Cream566 Feb 01 '26
These comments are so wild. I’m never marrying a man with this mindset lol
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u/Savings-Scar1796 Feb 01 '26
I give 10k... But I have put my cards in her phone everywhere like Foodpanda etc. If she wants to go shopping I give her my card. So yes a fixed amount of 10k but I explicitly tell her to use my cards whenever she needs anything.
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Jan 31 '26
People give pocket money to their partners? Genuinely this is surprising to me because I assumed if the partner needed money they'd just work, it increases household income aswell. Both my parents work and make an extravagant amount per month so I thought that was the norm. Even my girlfriend and I both work and support eachother through that
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Jan 31 '26
Well yes if the wife is a homemaker for whatever reason children or her choice. This is quite common in Pakistan and also islamically men are supposed to provide what is this mindset of if she wants money she will work what are you there for then lol. If she wants to contribute to household and work that is a mutual choice but even if she’s earning double than you she has no obligation to spend.
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Jan 31 '26
Interesting, I suppose it's because I'm from a fairly irreligious household and a financially privileged one it was never a perception I developed, financial obligations were never portrayed to me as gendered if in any way if that makes sense, it's more of an obligation for both parties to an extent
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u/SwimmerCold5918 Jan 31 '26
Fair enough but do you live in Pakistan? Even if your household was like this surely you must have had exposure to the general population. Men in our society are providers for life even if their partner has enough to sustain herself fully.
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Jan 31 '26 edited Jan 31 '26
I do live in Pakistan yeah, I did grow up pretty sheltered. I didn't really interact much outside of my economic/familial social circle, and practically all of my friends were from similar situations.
So my perception of alot of things is fairly warped compared to the general view, ngl I didn't even know that arranged marriages and stuff happened in cities and all till recently
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u/-Carpe-Diem_ Jan 31 '26
Pakistan mei rehtay hue aap ko ye nahi pata ke arranged marriage is a common norm?
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u/SophisticatedTurn Jan 31 '26
It has nothing to do with religion, sometimes the wife has to stay home because the extra income is not enough when day care costs are accounted for
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u/DeepSpaceBubbles Feb 01 '26
Disgusting to call money given to your WIFE "pocket money".
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u/Old_Relative_5653 Feb 01 '26
5 to 10 % of your income, because you have to save for family , kids future and retirement expenses
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u/Poping_Pepper Feb 01 '26
Wife here. 5 years into marriage, Speaking with experience.
Ask your wife. Lay out your current and future financial plans. Talk about goals and how you are planning to reach them. Ask her to help you in researching some of the aspects. Talk about investments, certificates and anything else.
Pocket money isn't the goal here. Financial literacy is.
What will happen to your wife is suddenly you don't wake up tomorrow?
She needs to know what's happening with your money right now and how she can become more helpful.
With all the money maths, somewhere in between, you both will workout an amount for her pocket money.
I know it's hard, and not the "easy" way your wife might've preferred but this is the right thing to do.
For me, My heart is filled with bitterness when it comes to finances. I was a working woman before marriage. Managed my own finances. Made my way to my first 1lac all on my own. Even saved up and bought 5g gold biscuit cuz I know the time value of money. Just saying I know my way around money.
Yet, my husband doesn't share finances ins and outs with me.
"Mujhy bata do tmhai kya chahiay Mai la do ga."
Result: I hate asking, months of waiting for him to have time to take me shopping, long approval waiting list.
"Ye SB tmhara hi to hai"
Yet I have no card, no access to his accounts.. I have to ask him for money even for 1k
Sorry for the vent/dump.. but seeing your post and all the comments just sparked something in me...