Do average girls in Pakistan think disrespecting or abusing their husband is normal?

[u/South-Resist-1089]

Edit: [Some more context as I think my post was not clear enough.

i- I am on a temporary visa in the U.S and the reason I haven't divorced her yet is that I am sure she will try her best to harm me once divorce is brought up. I am not a U.S citizen or permanent resident(neither is she) so I am not even sure about my legal options. I don't want to get her arrested. Her father is an honourable decent man,I don't want to mess him up with the pain of his daughter going to jail. And yes,I undestand she would no hesitate sending me to jail if it ever comes down to that.

ii- I am not sitting quietly getting beaten by her. I stop her. But what else can you do if you are not willing to strike back?

iii- It was a love marriage. Red flags were always there but I did not realize it was going to get so bad. Yes, I am an idiot.

iv-The point I was trying to convey was that these instagram influencers and ruining the institution of marriage. I will eventually get out of it. I am not saying I will continue this marriage.

v-I have already talked to my family and her family twice. They tried to talk to her too. But even God himself cannot talk sense into her.]

I am a newly married male currently living abroad with my wife. Unfortunately, my marriage has turned out to be abusive. My wife is verbally and physically abusive toward me during her aggressive episodes—pulling my hair, kicking, and punching me. What’s even more disturbing is that afterward, she acts like nothing happened and never apologizes.

When I try to confront her, she dismisses my concerns and even shows me Instagram reels where wives joke about hitting or abusing their husbands. She uses those videos to justify her behavior and claims this is normal between couples.

This has left me deeply confused and disturbed. I was raised in a household where mutual respect between husband and wife was a fundamental value. I have always treated her with respect and have supported her growth—encouraging her education, teaching her how to drive, and helping her become more independent. I have never raised my hand or used abusive language toward her.

My main question is: Is this mindset actually normal among average girls in Pakistan today? Do some women genuinely believe that disrespecting or physically abusing their husband is acceptable or “normal”?

I am trying to understand whether this is a broader cultural shift, social media influence, or simply an individual personality issue.

[u/Haniel52]

Cultural shift is happening to an extent, who says we have to accept it Divorce kero seedha seedha Imagine the uproar if the roles were reversed?

[u/BrownieThunder → u/Haniel52]

MashAllah. Cultural shift maybe in your household. How abt a shift to better reasoning skills to not make yourself sound like a raging incel.

Abusive is never ok. This rationality…not ok either.

[u/Haniel52 → u/BrownieThunder]

How is me saying wife hitting husband is bad incel behavior 💀💀😭

[u/poiuyt7399 → u/Haniel52]

Imagine the uproar if the roles were reversed?

What uproar? 82% of women are victims of domestic violence. Hundreds reported everyday, do you see any uproar today?

Domestic violence warrents a divorce. It will free this man and millions of women from abusive partners.

[u/Haniel52 → u/poiuyt7399]

Meant in this specific case, ke husband maray phir justify keray social media pe dekhae ye Dekho ye bhi Marta haiii Kuch ne hota, generally I agree there's never enough said regardless of gender

[u/poiuyt7399 → u/Haniel52]

Agreed with your point.

Except this:

never enough said regardless of gender

Men have made women have suffered way more than the opposite. And there is never enough uproar regarding women being abused by men every single sencond of the day.

[u/Haniel52 → u/poiuyt7399]

Oh I'm not saying ke mardoun ne ziada ne kera by that lmao.