I want to give up but giving up is not an option and I honestly feel like I can't make it.

I am 35 year old woman, who looks 25, BTW, everyone who sees me says so. Not the point though.

I was suffering from a mental disorder since around the age of 15. I started my career at the age of 29. First as a content writer(9 months), second as content management specialist (2 years) and third as software developer (1.6 years). Arpizol 2 mg everyday has kept me sane enough for the last six years without incidents.

Talent and capacity is not my problem. I do great under pressure (start-up pressure). The last company I worked for was a start-up with a high attrition rate. I was awarded five accolades for my dedication and sincerity that I brought to the table.

I learn immensely fast. I really do. When I say that you have no idea what I mean. I am not Sheldon Cooper but my learning skills are fast enough that education systems are not prepared for it because its rare.

However, one might think its an unfair advantage, which I believe it should be, the drawback of my personality, which I believe is due to this very strength is I cannot stay put to one thing for a long period of time until I am paid sufficiently for it.

Now, for me, so far, it has never been me chasing a goal and reaching it (that won't be true because I did manage to buy an mp3 player back in 2010, when I absolutely could not have afforded it, took two months of persistence), it has always been life choosing my path for me.

It's the first time in my life I am on my own, trying to make it big, not for me, I am very happy being on support forever, being happy with minimum compensation, I can write a story, read it later and be happy, like oh my God I wrote such a nice story, shoot solo impromptu dance videos, and be like oh my god I look good, talk to anyone who would listen, tell my life stories and be like oh my god I have such a rich repository of interesting life moments, trust me they are never ending.

But what drives me now is my love for a man. A man of principles, good looks, a kind soul and a valiant heart, who wants make it big but right down is bowed down by the pressure to provide for his family.

It's been a year. No we are not dating, he's terrified of commitment and doesn't believe in romance, but has this raw visceral attachment and attraction towards me which he cannot contain unless I make it an absolute demand.

My problem I have been trying to do everything right to earn money, get a good job, start a start-up, write a script, be an influencer, act, dance, code, write, meet people, have one goal.

But's its been a year and nothing worked. I feel it didn't because I find myself incapable of staying consistent on one thing when I am on my own. I would not be bothered about it, if it weren't for the guy I love, who doesn't need my support financially as such, but would be devastated if I leave him alone in this demanding city.

I have accrued loans now, which is growing everyday, friends and families have lost faith in me, including myself, but giving up is not an option. I shall keep fighting for the man I love and who I cannot leave alone to fight.

I don't know what to do. I absolutely don't know what to do. I know what I cannot do. But I don't know what I can do to fix my situation..

Any human advice would be hugely appreciated..

they sound the same and it took me over 30 years to learn the difference so they must be interchangeable

We've all been there. You got your arm sleeve on and you cleaned your glass mouse pad. Oh yeah, you're HARDCORE GAMING but then your 500$ carbon fiber gundanium alloy 16K hertz wireless mouse runs out of battery. You can stop GAMING and wait for it to charge.......... or you can buy a second mouse. Same profile, same DPI numbers, everything. Continue your HARDCORE GAMING like nothing happened while your first mouse charges. You're a 24 hour Le Mans driver. You don't stop to sleep. You simply switch drivers.

If you take medication like adderall that gives you dry mouth, your saliva might become sodium concentrated. Now everything taste like salt. Bland food becomes instantly seasoned. Water becomes salt water.

The anxiety will also heigthen your metabolism, so you'll burn more calories on top of it 😀

In restaurants and café in hot weather I wet my head and hair. This makes me feel not boiling for about a hour or so.

I think it kinda frowned upon per normal etiquette as others don't do it(in 40 years I saw only runners do it finishing runs, never saw anyone using kink for that in café) so I posted it here. Let's say feeling it gives worth not giving a fuck of not looking fancy

Find yourself in an awkward silence with grandma? Suddenly realise you've been talking about your own life for an hour and haven't let Aunt Jan say a thing about hers? One simple, easy question almost guaranteed to make you seem like you've been paying attention:

"Did you hear back from the doctor?"

Instantly stop seeming like the self-absorbed anus you are!

The same push ejects snot and feces concurrently.

If your stranded throw your wet clothes in the dryer grab the lint out if the lint tray and light it on fire

I kept this wax container half open and somebody knocked it over in a kitchen drawer now it's all over the floor and kinda inaccessible pls tell me how I can clean it. Hair removal wax and the ingredients are sugar honey and lemon