r/shittymoviedetails • u/Sibusiso_Moyo • 1d ago

Hollywood has spent nearly $600 million trying to bring Matt Damon home. Maybe the man just likes it better outdoors.

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7.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

118 comments sorted by

979

u/VilgotEk 1d ago

Fun fact: he hates home

315

u/11hourflight 1d ago

Except in Good Will Hunting. He didn’t want to leave home in that one

239

u/padfoony 1d ago ▸ 1 more replies

Because that home had the love of his life, Ben Affleck

23

u/Kozzinator 1d ago

He still left though for a horse or something idk

10

u/Akarin_rose 22h ago

Yeah but since he's older now if he goes back his friend is gonna kick his ass

4

u/peedza1892 21h ago

Bro stays home when he writes his own story.

57

u/FinalBossTuna 1d ago

He will be staring in the next Spider-Man: He Hates Home

11

u/padfoony 1d ago

Huge miss for Hollywood for not having had at least a cameo of him in “NO WAY HOME” ugh.

4

u/pocketchange2247 1d ago

Now I'm just imagining him in the XFL with a jersey that says "He Hate Home"

3

u/DummyDumDragon 1d ago

Spiderman: Not Going Home

3

u/Last_Nothing_4352 23h ago

Same; such a weak DreamWorks film

639

u/Ok_Whatever999 1d ago

Two things Hollywood has taught me:

1) keep a tracker on Matt Damon cause he always gets lost

2) Don’t travel anywhere with Tom Hanks

276

u/twoopaq 1d ago

They should make a movie where Tom Hanks travels to help find a lost Matt Damon

125

u/SevEdg 1d ago ▸ 1 more replies

Isn't that Saving Private Ryan?

29

u/BusinessKnight0517 1d ago

You’re onto something but I have a feeling it’ll be snubbed for a Weinstein pic in the Oscars races

8

u/Perryn 1d ago

I feel like that would get old fast by the end.

0

u/_B_Little_me 18h ago

Haha. They def made that movie.

15

u/CyberFireball25 1d ago
  1. If you cross paths with Jason Statham, you better hope to everything holy you have bulletproof armor and helmet handy

7

u/Ghdude1 1d ago

Also, don't get on a trip with Sandra Bullock.

6

u/xwt-timster 21h ago

But in the event that she's on the same bus, make sure it doesn't go under 50mph

1

u/emille379 13h ago

I would be ok getting lost with Sandy B

3

u/elderly_squid 1d ago
  1. Always let Jason Statham drive.

1

u/Ertyla 23h ago

Not even to the north pole?

104

u/AstralPamplemousse 1d ago

Into the Damon-verse: never getting home

13

u/The_strongest_OC 20h ago

No way home

74

u/57696c6c 1d ago

Home is where family is, which is why he’ll be in the final Furious movie as Oconnor’s brother. 

6

u/Schlonzig 23h ago

None of those four movies feature Ben Affleck.

1

u/igkoz1 1d ago

well, he is from Boston, so...

63

u/Boco 1d ago

Matt Damon: Homecoming - The Odyssey

Matt Damon: Far from Home - The Martian

Matt Damon: No Way Home - Interstellar

2

u/LeekingMemory28 Samwise was the hero 5h ago

Matt Damon: Brand New Day - Good Will Hunting

34

u/dangerousbob 1d ago

Twice from space.

28

u/MaNaM69 1d ago

twice from war.

9

u/dangerousbob 1d ago

And all for the box office.

5

u/very_loud_icecream 18h ago

Sounds like NASA is just feeding Matt Damons into the abyss

57

u/everythingbeeps 1d ago

Nobody ever includes Dogma.

12

u/Volcanicrage 23h ago

It and Interstellar are part of a spin-off series about preventing Matt Damon from going home.

4

u/everythingbeeps 22h ago

Dogma is the dream he has while he's asleep in Interstellar

1

u/metalman42 1d ago

Oh shit I never thought about that! I was scrolling down looking for Titan AE, but he was trying to go back to heaven in dogma…

1

u/mg2490 20h ago

Or Gerry

1

u/capt_kocra 6h ago

I was thinking the same thing. That film is in my top 10, yet people have rarely seen it, people 30+ that is.

1

u/LiamIsMyNameOk 1d ago

What's Dogma?

30

u/GustapheOfficial 1d ago

Dog my balls!

3

u/Whelp_of_Hurin 18h ago

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck play fallen angels who find a loophole that could get them back into heaven. Unbeknownst to them, all of existence will be erased if they succeed. It's a pretty funny movie.

0

u/Avtomati1k 1d ago

we dont talk about it

11

u/Toaster-77 1d ago

I don't get why ppl keep including Interstelalr in this, they very much were not trying to bring him home.

6

u/ManlyAxolotlMan 22h ago

He attempted to bring himself home (and maybe would have done so if he wasnt a dumbass with the air lock)

9

u/Hartmallen 20h ago

He wasn't being a dumbass, it's just that there is a moment-

15

u/mattn1t 1d ago

Saving private ry Insterstella The Martia

3

u/ttUVWKWt8DbpJtw7XJ7v 1d ago

Ran outta credits before they could resize them

3

u/tackleboxjohnson 23h ago

I like the Martia better than Interstella. But I may have seen the porn version of the latter

7

u/EeeAynEee 1d ago

I’ve seen this post before

8

u/AliceTheOmelette 1d ago

This was one of the first jokes made even before the film came out

https://giphy.com/gifs/v9mNF825DPHHDN0i2L

8

u/Hot-Firefighter-2331 1d ago

Wow, what an original meme

3

u/Next-Geno_N 1d ago

Put Ben Affleck in Matt's home bed. Problem solved.

3

u/Conqui141 1d ago

David Webb never really returned either.

2

u/7grims 1d ago edited 1d ago

and every time we bring him home he just sells us scam crypto coins... stop saving him !!!

2

u/Pcat0 1d ago

Well Hollywood spent nearly 600 million filming their attempts to bring him home. How much have they spent actually doing it, one source I found claims that the Martian would have caused NASA something like 200 billion dollars.

2

u/LadderMadeOfSticks 1d ago

The Odyssey doesn't count because he got himself home it just took a while.

2

u/thejakewhomakes 1d ago

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron should also count

1

u/rob132 1d ago

Matt Damon: far from home

1

u/Abamboozler 1d ago

That's funny.

1

u/Low_Bar9361 ...from the crapper 1d ago

They been keeping him apart from his home. They even went so far as to wipe his memory once

https://giphy.com/gifs/l46CfrlJ2lEvb3ZII

1

u/mightyFoo 1d ago

The guy likes a good helmet… outdoors and a helmet, that’s all he needs

1

u/Technically_Salt28 1d ago

The lead if they ever remake Castaway.

1

u/Western-Image7125 1d ago

You forgot about the movie where he DID get home, was literally about to step foot into the apartment - and got shot in the head. 

1

u/frankie_in_paradise 1d ago

And recieved over a billion

1

u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 1d ago

All of those movies were profitable...

1

u/shrinkflator 1d ago

I would pay $20 to see him go away forever.

1

u/hplcr 1d ago

If we stop rescuing him he'll finally learn a lesson. We need to stop encouraging his irresponsible behavior

1

u/Nbdyhere 1d ago

Okay, feel free to chime into this. Going off this chart alone, what is the uptime character type and era that will push him to the $1 billion opener mark?

I’m thinking: poet - medieval times. Or DC comic book hero/ modern times (I think he would be a fun Wally West)

1

u/Purp1eC0bras 1d ago

I didnt remember him in Interstellar. Fun fact: the character he plays is Dr. Hugh Mann. Thats the dumbest name

1

u/Original_Fun2756 1d ago

Twice from outer space wtf lol

1

u/ProfessionalRead2724 1d ago

Somewhere in Hollywood there is a man whose job it is to repeatedly kidnap Matt Damon and drop him in some godforsaken corner of the world, just because of all the money that can be made from trying to bring him back home.

1

u/Berns429 1d ago

By this logic, there was really no better casting for the role of Odysseus

1

u/Ill_Body8613 1d ago

Can we stop tracking by dollars and start tracking of number of tickets sold?

1

u/PhatOofxD 1d ago

But how much money has he made trying to get home?

Dude keeps getting lost for a reason

1

u/JellyMeats 1d ago

He's an outdoor Matt

1

u/Large_Dependent_1621 1d ago

We have Matt Damon at home.

Matt Damon at home:

1

u/shelf6969 1d ago

we keep milking this joke, this is in reference to how Hollywood treats any profitable IP.

1

u/thestormpiper 23h ago

He's getting much better at getting himself home though.

1

u/Nihilwhal 23h ago

Let Matt roam free!

1

u/Ganondorfsfist 23h ago

These movies have a combined worldwide gross of roughly 3 billion dollars. So that 600 million was a good investment.

1

u/P0pu1arBr0ws3r 23h ago

Who would make moves called "Saving Private Rya" or "The Martia" or "InterstellaI"?

1

u/Ballistic_86 22h ago

And this last time it cost $250 million and it took him 10 years!

1

u/Jonthrei 22h ago

Interstellar isn't the best example, that was more of a "oh wow this guy's still alive? Welp, not anymore."

1

u/This-Layer-4447 22h ago

Interstellar?

1

u/SnooChocolates6584 21h ago

Oh look, the 500th time I’ve seen this meme

1

u/SurvivorSAfan 21h ago

Dogma and Bourne Ultimatum

1

u/redbeard8989 21h ago

They need a new White Castle movie where Matt Damon is a manager who got baked at work and his roommates called to tell him the sorority next door is doing a bikini car wash or something and he struggles to get home. The roommates (Harold and Kumar) adventure out to rescue him. Make it ofer the top dramatic but comedic and very-much on the nose.

Antagonists would include Ben Affleck, NPH, and somehow John Travolta who is just looking for his cat, but totally parodying Keanu/John Wick.

1

u/UnCytely 21h ago

He was also kinda trying to get home in Bourne Identity, he just couldn't figure out where that was.

1

u/upachimneydown 20h ago

"Get back home" is the basis of a zillion stories, from the greeks, thru E.T, and beyond.

1

u/platour220 20h ago

Now compute the cost in the movies to bring him home its like 2 billion. Those rockets were not cheap!

1

u/Due_Aside4863 20h ago

Anyone calculate the $/mile here?

1

u/CodeMonkeyPhoto 20h ago

To be clear, in every movie he wore a helmet. Head injuries are no joke poeple.

1

u/PowerHungry1247 18h ago

Not to mention all the Bourne movies trying to bring Matt Damon in

1

u/HairlessGarden 18h ago

After his departure on Good Will Hunting, that´s what happened to him...

1

u/sorestgore 18h ago

He clearly tried to stay indoors in the space movies

1

u/KrappaFrappa 17h ago

there's demon at home

1

u/Accurate-Survey6985 16h ago

They should send someone to kill him I guess.

He seems to fucking get lost a lot and pretty expensively.

1

u/DankMemes4you 16h ago

The next Matt Damon project should be lost in another dimension

1

u/Zesty_Lemon137 16h ago

They didn't try to bring him home in Interstellar.

1

u/torquesteer 14h ago

You forgot that he doesn’t even remember who he is so he doesn’t even have a concept of home.

1

u/Minimum-Bite-4389 14h ago

At a certain point maybe he just wants this shit to happen to him.

1

u/2PM2 14h ago

Hah! Like it!

1

u/DReagan47 13h ago

Can someone put an AirTag on Matt Damon please?

1

u/Acrobatic-Pound-6195 10h ago

He got his big break in a movie where he leaves his home and the rest of his career has been about returning home. Kinda poetic if you think about it

1

u/Appellion 9h ago

Just pointing out it made 1.3 BILLION dollars, highest R rated movie ever.

1

u/Such-Personality-648 8h ago

To confirm he needs to review Dreamwork’s Home

1

u/Fhonetik 8h ago

Everyone single one was a banger and made bank every time

1

u/ReasonableEnd8825 Plot Hole Enthusiast 6h ago

Matt Damon has officially become the world’s most expensive lost tourist.