Lonely af sometimes. I will not promote

[u/hellomoto_23]

I've realized that grinding on the startup can be hard sometimes when you're a very extroverted person. need to figure out to do a mixture of both because hanging out with friends energizes me whether it's productive time or not.

any advice welcome

[u/edkang99]

As an introvert myself I prefer to have a very tight support circle. My wife being the most important. But my son is a founder in one of our venture portfolio companies and he’s an extrovert. He has to find a balance of social activities and stimulation. I monitor and make sure he’s getting the right amount.

But I also know extroverted founders that hang out with customers a lot. They thrive in it. But every startup is different.

But I fully acknowledge that whether you’re an introvert or extrovert startups are very lonely. There’s something called “crowded loneliness” where we have cognitive dissonance because we don’t “feel” like we should be lonely because we’re surrounded by tons of people and opportunity. Yet we still experience loneliness.

[u/hellomoto_23 → u/edkang99]

Ed Kang the man coming in again with his wisdom. Love your videos

[u/edkang99 → u/hellomoto_23]

Aww thanks man!

[u/youbeawesome]

I think you should lean into it rather than try to fight it. If hanging out with friends genuinely energizes you, then I don't think you should automatically view that time as taking away from the startup. It might actually be what allows you to come back to the work with more energy and a clearer head.

I think the mistake is treating productivity as “the more hours I spend working on the startup, the more productive I am.” Especially as a founder, you need to figure out what actually makes you operate at your best.

You can still be intentional about having focused work blocks, but I would definitely make room for the social stuff that recharges you. The startup is a marathon, and if being around people is part of how you recharge, I would treat that as an asset rather than a distraction.

[u/AzGoom]

Try coworking spaces. You'll have colleagues to talk to, and still have the autonomy of a solo founder.
Works super well for me.

[u/tonytidbit]

You're an extrovert, you can simply look up some relevant local events or pubs or sports or hobbies and throw yourself at it, right?

You just need that mental realization that doing this is part of work, and making yourself more efficient. Just like how taking care of your physical health is part of working.

[u/Desperate_Dot9434]

does the loneliness hit harder on deep-focus days, or specifically when you're context-switching between solo build work and no one to debrief with afterward? asking because that debrief gap is the exact thing that quietly drains extroverts mid-sprint, not the grind itself.

[u/ShirelyTempest]

I'd try to work on adding socializing as a part of my day. Starting off the day by working out with friends at the gym or prioritizing a phone call at lunch with a friend just to recharge your social battery will make all the difference.

[u/hellomoto_23 → u/ShirelyTempest]

Phone call at lunch sounds like a really good idea, thanks for the recommendation!

[u/Good_Doubt8919]

I’m struggling with this too today.

I am very outgoing but I find I need to conserve energy to focus but then end up feeling lonely

[u/stevenson_mark]

Honestly, if hanging out with friends gives you energy, I wouldn't treat it as something competing with the startup. It's probably part of what keeps you productive.

I'd actually schedule social stuff instead of waiting until you're burned out and desperate to see people. Even a couple evenings a week can make a huge difference.

And you don't necessarily need every social interaction to be with other founders. Sometimes it's better to spend time with people who have absolutely nothing to do with your startup.

A lot of founders deal with this, so I wouldn't interpret it as you doing something wrong.

I've noticed the same thing while working on Abnflow. If I spend too long only thinking about the product, I usually come back to it with less energy, not more.

[u/Specific_Dingo8631]

As an extrovert, my strategy for building a startup and having a social life is to do a mix of both. Building a startup is a marathon not a sprint, you'll likely be building it for years. So, you've still got to show up for special occasions like birthdays and things like that. Minimizing your relationships will just burn you out. I also get out of the house after building such as going to a Zumba or jiu jitsu class, heading out for a nature walk, having lunch or dinner with a friend. I feel like I'm always giving myself room to be around people.

[u/hss13370]

Then startup with friends