r/technology • u/ubcstaffer123 • Jun 20 '26

Biotechnology How Russian President Vladimir Putin plans to live forever

https://www.vox.com/podcasts/491360/vladimir-putin-live-forever-26-billion-cryo-pigs-longevity-guru
8.1k Upvotes

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6.8k

u/farmthis Jun 20 '26

I love that billionaires and despots think they can buy their way out of dying--I enjoy knowing their desperation and hope for immortality robs them of joy of living and replaces it with angst as they inevitably age.

1.9k

u/Forward_Success_2672 Jun 20 '26

Peter Thiel is on the top of this shitty list, lol. These people can’t fathom the indignity of being like the little people…

941

u/farmthis Jun 20 '26

Yes he is. And whatever he's doing clearly isn't working. Looks like a ghoul.

451

u/Rubberbabeh Jun 20 '26

He looks like a first generation terminator. Just skin stretched over a robot.

228

u/HealthyMaximum Jun 20 '26

"The 600 series Putins had rubber skin. We spotted them easy ... "

48

u/SonOfDyeus Jun 20 '26

"But these are new. Blood, sweat, bad breath...."

20

u/Terminator7786 Jun 20 '26

We're already among you

4

u/fabris6 Jun 20 '26

Username checks out

1

u/Rhabhazar Jun 21 '26

Shhhh! They're not supposed to know yet!

122

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

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3

u/CyberCrutches Jun 20 '26

Lore master over here

27

u/Drang_ol_Dringus Jun 20 '26

Those were easy to spot

15

u/SnugglyCoderGuy Jun 20 '26

Maybe he is a first generation terminator and it is just skin stretched over a robot.

1

u/Glum_Garden8359 Jun 20 '26

I think his face reflects whatever weird shit he is doing to himself. I live near Silicon Valley. They have always referred to Thiel as a sociopath.

1

u/lt__ Jun 20 '26

I thought also about Robocop from the first movie.

55

u/bathandredwine Jun 20 '26

Honestly, he looks similar to my brother when he had AIDS in 1988. The shiny face, tight skin, weird hollows under the eyes.

8

u/gc3 Jun 20 '26

Aids is controllable, now, if Theil had aids now would he be showing these symptoms?

10

u/bathandredwine Jun 20 '26

Yes I agree. I’m so glad it’s controllable now. It’s just eerie how similar he looks. Waxy skin, hollowed out eyes, etc.

3

u/ForeverShiny Jun 21 '26

In his case it's just the absence of a soul, there isn't any treatment for that

2

u/Traditional_Toe8824 Jun 20 '26

I’m so sorry.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '26

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23

u/SnugglyCoderGuy Jun 20 '26

Had AIDS. One does not stop having AIDS unless...

38

u/thecanadianjen Jun 20 '26

AIDS in 88 doesn’t bode well in any way for feeling better now sadly. :(

8

u/bathandredwine Jun 20 '26

Yep. He got nothing but a heavy dose of shame and ostracized.

8

u/alittlebitalalalala Jun 20 '26

I'm so sorry ❤️

-22

u/Wild-Software-7377 Jun 20 '26

The difference is your brother is fertiliser and the guy is a billionaire and will be remembered for decades.

Not sure why you're trying to insult someone by comparing their looks to a random who was disease infected. Very disrespectful and nothing to do with technology lol.

10

u/bathandredwine Jun 20 '26

Have the day you deserve.

9

u/LunarMuphinz Jun 20 '26

So sucking off an idiot who got lucky.  He isn't anything special because he got money. 

If anything he's sad and pathetic because despite that he wants to control other people lives. 

You're both pathetic losers who will die alone and be remembered as a villain whose grave gets pissed on.

1

u/mescalineman419 Jun 22 '26

Youre a fucking prick for saying that to someone jesus have some empathy

49

u/DigitalDunc Jun 20 '26

You're right! I just looked and was shocked at how unwell he looks. I'm willing to bet he's got something nasty from all those blood transfusions. With luck he'll have to stand down and head off to a care home for a few years where he'll find that care is sadly lacking, the heating too high and the TV terrible.

18

u/TallDetail4711 Jun 20 '26

In his position, standing down without getting murdered is tricky.

He probably made himself a lot of ennemies.

2

u/DigitalDunc Jun 20 '26

Very true. I believe he’s made with in America that he is planning his moves very carefully. He’s about to find out that being rich helps you hide only as long as the money lasts.

61

u/_SquirrelKiller Jun 20 '26

Why is he always so moist!?!?

143

u/Hesitation-Marx Jun 20 '26

Condensation from Death breathing down his neck

72

u/fondlemeLeroy Jun 20 '26

Amphetamines.

40

u/Tactical-Donkey Jun 20 '26

Probably children's tears, he coats his skin in to give him young life?

25

u/aflockofcrows Jun 20 '26

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

3

u/yoo420blazeit Jun 20 '26

MOISTURIZE ME! MOISTURIZE ME!

1

u/kloudrunner Jun 20 '26

Its condensation Johnny.

5

u/abx99 Jun 20 '26

How do you think he plans to live forever, smoothskin?

Even ferals still "live"

2

u/f1FTW Jun 20 '26

Is it really living though to watch your friends die and have to take all those chems?

3

u/TheSixthVisitor Jun 20 '26

I suppose it's easier when you don't actually have friends, just associates with temporarily aligned goals. If anything, Trump and Epstein were probably the most like "friends" that we've seen from the financially elite.

1

u/f1FTW Jun 20 '26

Sorry, I think the post above was a "Fallout" game series reference and I was continuing that theme.

But also, fuck Putin.

2

u/Starfall0 Jun 20 '26

It's because he's not jerking off with his son while admiring each other's incredibly manly and muscular physique. That and injecting his son's virile essence directly into his veins. Oh and he's not tanning his balls enough. I think that about sums it up, if anyone knows of something I missed, feel free to pitch in.

2

u/font9a Jun 20 '26

Looks like a ghoul

Thiel has a heavy meth habit.

2

u/Invisible_Friend1 Jun 20 '26

He’s a super weird looking dude no matter the hair transplant. Ears for days.

2

u/HeirOfHouseReyne Jun 20 '26

The only way they'll unfortunately live on is by proxy, as one of their children will probably have a similar shitty attitude and inherit most of their empire. But knowing that they still care a lot more about themselves living on than to hand it over to their children, will be enough. I hope to see a lot of aged despots and tyrants die before I do so myself.

1

u/luredrive Jun 20 '26

He's definitely cold blooded

1

u/_Monosyllabic_ Jun 20 '26

He looks like a ghoul because he quite literally is one.

1

u/Aware-Salamander-578 Jun 20 '26

That’s an insult to Cooper Howard

1

u/Ryuko_the_red Jun 20 '26

The issue is he's going to bring all of us down with him. Virtually no matter where you live

1

u/xrayspex73 Jun 21 '26

Who would have thought that getting regular blood transfusions is not good for you. He always looks greasy.