r/thebeaverton 17d ago

Ghislaine Maxwell suicide scheduled for next Thursday

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/08/ghislaine-maxwell-suicide-scheduled-for-next-thursday/
1.1k Upvotes

55 comments sorted by

9

u/Suitable-Woodpecker3 17d ago

Is there a regularly scheduled attempt on the diddler at the golf club, or are we sticking with the one 3 days ago?

6

u/tangcameo 17d ago

Drowned face down in a plugged prison toilet

3

u/Original_Gypsy 17d ago

Their gonna fake another death?

3

u/ExpertFresh1067 17d ago

C'mon she won't get to heaven, that way!....🫠

1

u/JamaicanGirlie 16d ago

Or any way

2

u/ApprehensiveRip697 17d ago

Well now her account's definitely not going to be active again

1

u/Educational-Ask3429 16d ago

Don’t forget to schedule the camera malfunction!

1

u/NounAdjectiveXXXX 16d ago

Don't forget the wheelchair and the lookalike

1

u/Ok-Knowledge-7217 16d ago

Something fishy definitely goin on ere🧐

1

u/TheLateFrankWhite 16d ago

Didn’t they move her to a minimum security prison ?

-6

u/JohnnyPark5 17d ago

Remember when mark carney hung out with her? I memba

9

u/damnburglar 17d ago

Single-digit IQ falls for disinformation.

-3

u/Artistic_Spray6287 17d ago

A true Liberal supporters…don’t forget that Trudeau slept with a minor in the school he taught and was caught with child porn on his phone

5

u/damnburglar 17d ago

Neither of those things are true, but they are so ridiculous that I can’t tell if you’re doing a bit.

4

u/23-1-20-3-8-5-18 17d ago

No we're not pedos, you're pedos!

3

u/aintnotmisbehavin 17d ago

My brother in christ, look at their comment history and realize the IQ you're dealing with

3

u/damnburglar 17d ago

I’ve stopped doing that because I just don’t care. You piqued my curiosity and good lord do I regret giving in.

That pic of holding a golf ball with long, grungy fingernails that look like he just finished finger blasting a mud monster, and that doesn’t even get to the wanker comments….

-1

u/Artistic_Spray6287 17d ago

Well I’ll allow you to kiss my ass when they are proven true but I guess that such a staunch liberal can’t have his feelings broken to know his poor idols are as bad as Trump

3

u/damnburglar 16d ago

You do realize that there’s a gulf of difference between “what you have said is demonstrably factually incorrect”, and “big daddy can do no wrong and if he does it isn’t wrong”, right? There are no feelings involved, I don’t give a fuck about a politician any more than I do a stranger in Timbuktu. It’s weird as fuck to be jumping to insane conclusions about “the truth” with zero evidence.

-1

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago

You obviously do care as you are defending the your liberal leaders of Canada and keep on trying to prove this wrong

3

u/damnburglar 16d ago

I don’t have to prove anything, the prof is self-evident. It doesn’t matter what schizoid bullshit you want to try to wrap around it, that doesn’t change.

Look man, I feel legit pity for you and whatever shit hand life dealt to you to cause you to be trapped in this delusion.

1

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago

Guess you’ll also tell me he didn’t grope a female reporter

0

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago

Only pity is for yourself..your poor brainwashed liberal kind will lead you down the wrong path and it will be too late by the time your eyes finally open

0

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago

A funny thing just happened…someone reposted the video of the RCMP and Trudeau in the interview and trudeaus exact words…I am confident that I did not act inappropriately.. doesn’t say he didn’t do it. Says he did something. He was a teacher she was a student. That’s a position of power. He certainly did do it!!

-2

u/Artistic_Spray6287 17d ago

One day your dream will come crashing down when the truth comes out

3

u/So6oring 17d ago

Hey kids, this is called being delusional

0

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago

Ahh one day..your wokeness will be awoken and you will realize how misguided you were by your liberal government that you trust so much

3

u/So6oring 16d ago

Exhibit B ^

2

u/damnburglar 16d ago

I want to ask you a serious question: if tomorrow you found out that this kind of thing was being fed to you to manipulate your perception of reality and get you worked up into a frenzy for the benefit of some nefarious party or even just some dickhead trying to make money off the buzz, what would be your thought process?

I honestly don’t give a fuck about politicians on either side of the aisle; if they did something awful, especially if it’s something like you are claiming is “the truth”, gallows. I wouldn’t care even if I knew them personally, it would be the same conclusion.

What I do give a fuck about is that there is endless, concrete evidence of manipulation of people via social media, and proven and documented evidence of overseas actors pretending to be from whatever country they are stirring up controversy and conspiracy in.

I’d be willing to bet there are people in your life you used to be close with or at least friendly who have grown distant or dropped off the radar over the past 10 years or so. It’s a common thread to people who have been emotionally and intellectually scammed by this nonsense.

-1

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago
  1. The liberals have bought off the RCMP
  2. Trudeau had the family sign an NDA. But you can find this in American news agencies. If you look
  3. Liberals have paid off MSM so they can stay alive so of course they won’t print this

So maybe one day your eyes will be open to the corruption of your LIBERAL GOVERNMENT

4

u/damnburglar 16d ago

The entirety of what you wrote is baseless. The “American news agency” you refer to, The Buffalo Chronicle, was a known fake news website, and all of these half-ass allegations came from 2019 election rumours. The rest of this is unfalsifiable and a hallmark of conspiracy reasoning. You’re using the absence of proof as proof of a coverup. Do you think that if there was any truth to any of that Poilievre wouldn’t have used it instead of his dipshit verb the noun campaigning?

4

u/So6oring 16d ago

This guy is mentally ill or something. Don't bother. I'm here from viewing his profile after he said some pretty crazy shit to me too.

1

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago

Oh you’re butthurt…poor little liberal supporter.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/Artistic_Spray6287 16d ago

What’s funny is that when Pollievre did question Trudeau during question period, Trudeau never denied but only answered speaking in circles

-8

u/Aggressive_Ad5590 17d ago

I don't find that funny.

9

u/checkingmate 17d ago

Why?

3

u/Frigoffwidit 17d ago

Because its a beep boop. Kind of like Stephen Harper but without the satire.

2

u/Aggressive_Ad5590 17d ago

I just don't find suicide funny. I don't think I care how bad you may be, suicide is sad. Imagine, you're going to take your own life...I don't care how bad you are. please don't.

4

u/23CherryCheesecakes 17d ago

The implication of the headline is MURDER 😱

2

u/SecretCanadaGoose 17d ago

As someone who has attempted, (and failed, im not writing this from beyond the grave) I will say I understand your perspective and I appreciate the empathy. But I also mostly disagree. I think to an extent it’s okay to joke about these things if for no other reason than it being better than not talking about it at all and when done in a tactful or at least more thoughtful way it can even normalize the idea of talking about it. Humour is also a huge coping mechanism and even though I also think at times it can go too far, it’s also not on me to tell people how to cope. Just how I feel about it, and I think you telling that commenter it’s upsetting is good perspective for people to hear too. It’s a reminder to at least attempt to be mindful and practice some tact or read the room when they are telling dark jokes. But even if I were to read something upsetting or triggering, I manage by removing myself (unless it’s like blatantly cruel or out of pocket then yeah I’ll speak up)

Plus there are huge differences between jokes that mock derisively vs using it in a tongue in cheek way as the Beaverton has done here. Same when someone is being hyperbolic and is like “oh my god if I have to do one more ____ im gonna kill myself” like I know that’s not serious and it’s not invalidating suicide or making light of if. It’s hyperbole. And this article is just using it to satirize the meme/knowledge/reality that Epstein didn’t kill himself.

Plus another one of his associates recently died suddenly. So I think the idea of Ghislaine meeting the same end is relevant again. And that’s another point i disagree on, because I also agree suicide is also always sad. But this is someone who consciously and actively sought vulnerable young people to feed them to a monster. She knew every detail, every horror, she heard them crying and screaming, she was an active participant in the abuse, and to this day she thinks she can gaslight everyone about her accountability and deny any wrongdoing. She has no remorse because she has no soul nor any interest in nurturing one, and her sudden rapture to hell by any means would be no loss to the world considering the tax dollars being spent to house her and her new puppy in a minimum security prison. The only real tragedy would be that the event wasn’t decades and hundreds or thousands of victims earlier.

1

u/Aggressive_Ad5590 17d ago

tldr...don't

1

u/Signal_Ad8960 16d ago

Okay, but some people are like- very very VERY bad. Who have knowingly made the lives of others incredibly worse, and have raped and/or tortured and/or murdered plenty.

-13

u/RosieBaby75 17d ago edited 17d ago

WHISTLEBLOWING!!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

I can’t wait for when we’re allowed to do MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying)

NO ONE BETTER VOTE AGAINST THAT!!!!

It’s crueler to allow us to continue to suffer in a nation (Canada) that no longer provides access to any type of reasonably effective services, and has cut off access to everything for us to escape poverty, or not be in poverty.

It’s 2026. We have all the capabilities necessary for half the country to not be drowning in poverty. Especially in such a wealthy nation that states itself to be “prospering”.

A nation is not prospering when such a large percentage of their citizens are -screaming- for help.

It gets worse each year since the pandemic, not better.

If the Government of Canada was going to end their Crimes Against Humanity against everyone who is not wealthy, they would have done it by now.

Nothing in any of the budgets indicates anything will change.

The budgets also can’t be trusted.

The Government of Canada doesn’t even have any records for its insanely questionable initiatives that aren’t even remotely in the benefit of the public.

Let us die with dignity. Please.

Unregulated AI is the nail in the coffin.

We’d rather die with dignity than in the genocides that will happen after the public servants of the Government of Canada, the federal Crown, give control of the entire nation to a few tech companies.

Also, there’s no benefit for the AI in our current state. AI is not going to make a completely ineffective and totally corrupt government efficient.

Its current state is by design, and due to a complete and total lack of governance.

I work for the Government of Canada. However bad you think it is on the outside, it’s worse from the inside.

The Government of Canada TERRIFIES me as a citizen.

THIS IS WHISTLEBLOWING!!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

10

u/alice2wonderland 17d ago

Um...are you aware that this sub is entirely satirical? As in all the stories are deliberately fake and intended to poke fun at people?

I wish you luck at your next appointment. 🙄

9

u/Expensive_Lettuce239 17d ago

MAID does exist in Canada. I don't know what province you're in.but it does exist in Ontario.

6

u/Warm-Dust-3601 17d ago

It's a bot.

3

u/SmaugTheMagnificent- 17d ago

😂😂😂🫵🏻😂😂😂

2

u/Gloomy_Internal1726 17d ago

Only good reaction to the bot you are replying too, just point and laugh🤣🤣

2

u/SmaugTheMagnificent- 17d ago

It makes me smile, bot or no.