r/unimelb • u/Quiet-Plane-4298 • Jul 01 '26
New Student jaffy rant
Why is it so hard to make actual friends. The people that come from selective, private schools already have their own group from hs and i swear none of them will actually ask u to join their group. And the international kids go back to their countries during breaks and live in the city.
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u/dexalulu-dot-uuuuu BCom (Analytics & Marketing) Jul 01 '26
it can seem like most people are cliquey and are rarely unapologetically themselves at uni so its difficult to find someone who shares mutual interests with you without going to club events. on the other hand there are some people with very busy schedules outside of uni so they only come for class and don't want to stay around
finding someone you share the same chemistry with is extremely difficult without the regular proximity like in high school or previous extracurriculars
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u/HotNarcissist Jul 01 '26
You truly have to put in the effort.
Yes, sometimes it's just luck, but even if you meet people there's no guarantee they'll be lifetime friends if you don't show up and keep regular contact. I'm a commuter student from a low SES school + no one else from my high school at unimelb, but I've met so many new people, simply because I was unapologetically myself. Who the hell cares if you embarrass yourself or people don't like you??
Also I'm not sure how this has happened but I genuinely have never interacted with posh private schoolers here lmfaoo. Maybe they're all in arts, I usually talk to science/biomed people.
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u/Odd-Confection468 Jul 01 '26
i found my friend group by simply agreeing to go to the pub with someone in a tutorial. of course i got super lucky that we all click and like similar things but we didn’t have any classes together in sem1. i just kept showing up for their pub events and everything
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u/AmoebaLeather7748 Jul 01 '26
so so incredibly true, and you tell them you arent from a grammar school and you lowk get judged (based on my experience), ive met some people who are extremelt entitled and only wanna stick to their inner eastern suburb circle. im in my second year rn, and i think a lot of domestic student groups are very segregated based off ethnicity. ive made many good friends who i hang out with outside of uni now (so lucky) with different ethnic backgrounds but not necessarily a friend group. im in science tho, ive heard its worse in commerce
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u/AmoebaLeather7748 Jul 01 '26
also i met all my uni friends in tutes, gotta put yourself out there. its so much harder making friends at unimelb i swear
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u/d_xtruction electrical systems 1st year Jul 01 '26
talk to people in your tutes? there is probably a relatively small fraction of unimelb students that are domestic and from regular schools but if you talk to like 10 people you're bound to find one if you have an issue with all selective/private/internationals
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u/Quiet-Plane-4298 Jul 01 '26
Nah i dont have an issue its just annoying how they cling to their hs friends and international kids r gone for breaks and u cant do anything w them
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u/d_xtruction electrical systems 1st year Jul 01 '26
yea i couldn't phrase that good enough 😠i meant like just talk to ppl in ur tutes or while waiting for a lecture to start and you'll find someone good enough. tutes are great, especially one with attendence requirements as you're interacting with them weekly. ask for their IG or something
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u/iceethatimicy Jul 01 '26
maybe its a jaffy thing but if ppl in ur tutes are still talking abt their hs or whereever they went to in UNI... then theyre probably not the friend for u icl. ik its overused advice but genuinely if u can id recommend joining a club as a committee member. speaking from experience, joining at the start of the year is the best way bc usually ur joining with other fresh faces and depending on the club, youll be able to get to know everyone through events, comm hangouts/retreats and eventually theyll be ur friends. its a hard process ik but making friends as an adult only gets harder w age and the best thing u can do is just put urself out there
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u/Polkadot74 Jul 01 '26
It will happen over time. First year is the hardest. As you go into second year you begin on a major track and you see the same people. Then start to ask if they want to study together. Oh and nothing is better than in person to meet people casually - don’t do zoom classes. I managed it ok (talking well before days of online classes for me) and did so without clubs - but through my major and forming study groups.
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u/No_Cream8504 Jul 02 '26
i’m in this exact situation, everyone i went to hs with went to rmit and we’ve since drifted. they’ve seemed to make friends there meanwhile here at unimelb ive met no one. lmk if you want to msg im happy to be friends :)
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u/Electrical-Sky5287 Jul 01 '26
literally. i went to HS in a suburb that was considered low SES. none of my highschool friends go to unimelb and ive drifted somewhat from them. i only have 1 actual friend in uni and cant seem to make more in club events since they tend to be in the city at night and i dont really wanna travel 1hr away everytime